“Done told you already boy, there hain’t been nothin’ a’tall odd ‘round here a’late... ‘ceptin’ ‘f’course fer the two o’ you!”
Beidon managed a sickly grin even while groaning inwardly - this was going about as well as he’d anticipated.
The grizzled old Pothandler of a foreman sucked his teeth and glared down the broad plane of his stone-slab nose at Beidon. The nose, the crags, and the pencil-thin eyebrows closely resembled Gordun’s, though unlike his countryman’s the fore. . .
“Done told you already boy, there hain’t been nothin’ a’tall odd ‘round here a’late... ‘ceptin’ ‘f’course fer the two o’ you!”
Beidon managed a sickly grin even while groaning inwardly - this was going about as well as he’d anticipated.
The grizzled old Pothandler of a foreman sucked his teeth and glared down the broad plane of his stone-slab nose at Beidon. The nose, the crags, and the pencil-thin eyebrows closely resembled Gordun’s, though unlike his countryman’s the fore. . .
So I had a professional editor read my work and give their opinion, and I didn't pay for it.
The editor at the imprint my first 2 books were published (before it closed down of course) was willing to look at 'The bully book' and make some recommendations. They are as follows:
1. Cut out the intro. I came up with a shocking intro, simply to get everyone's attention, but I did wonder if it was too much. It went like this...
'Thirty years ago I became a cunt. Sorry for the bad language so early on, but it’s the most accurate way to describe what high school does to an innocent. Fuck, I never used to swear until beginning higher education. But don’t worry, I’m no longer a…. hmmm, let’s just call it a ‘C’. I’m no longer a C, at least I hope so, and I really don’t swear much at all these days, although it did take me a while – to stop the swearing and being a C. I guess that means this story has a happy ending.
Who would’ve guessed that in little old New Zealand being a C would become a good thing, well, as long there’s a ‘G’ in front of it. Being a ‘good cunt’ is a damned fine compliment in the land of the long white cloud. I was even brought to tears at my 40th when all the lads got together and called me the best GC around.
Enough about C’s and GC’s. I’ve a great story to tell, because I wrote it, and it’s very, very funny. It will sometimes make angry or sad, but you will reflect on what sort of person you were at high school, whether that be jock, nerd, or leader of the herd. You’ll also marvel at the miracle that I was able to put more than a few sentences together, let alone a book, after the ‘education’ I received. So please forgive me if I’m not grammatically perfect, or I flow from present to past – although the only person that worries about that is the editor. Everyone loves my story.'
2. Keep it short and make it a series. She said that a book of around 40,000 words is a good size for teenagers and young adult.
3. Do some market research. I work in schools, and have had great reviews from the students. But sadly, publishers don't care about great reviews from your target audience - oh dear, a bit of bitterness creeping in.
She finished by saying she cannot see any reason why a publisher or agent will not take me on, especially with a proven history.
100 rejections later, here I am.
