“Playing marbles? What with, badgers?”
Another nice detail. Really underscores the viciousness of the fight.
Trivian wanted to run after him but instead his legs buckled and he collapsed to his knees.
Unnecessary telling. You’re about to show us this. Don’t tip your hand.
Both boys stared at the pile of dirt with wildly differing thoughts.
The stone had a coarse texture so that no amount of polishing could bring a shine to its dull surface.
The stone had a coarse texture so that no amount of polishing could bring a shine to its dull surface.
Restating dialogue in a dialogue tag can annoy some readers. Personally I subscribe to Elmore Leonard and Stephen King’s advice to use "said" exclusively. In this case, we already know Wallic is speaking, so don’t need a tag at all.
