Antimony Noon commented on an excerpt of The Spark Internal
"and" instead of "as he" might work better here.
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    as he
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    Antimony Noon commented on an excerpt of The Spark Internal
    One of the two "instant"s needs to be replaced in this sentence.
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      Antimony Noon commented on an excerpt of The Spark Internal
      defence, having
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        Antimony Noon commented on an excerpt of The Spark Internal
        low, Cyael
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          Antimony Noon commented on an excerpt of The Spark Internal
          This is a very visually strong description. Comma needed after "stone" (or new sentence starting at "instead". 
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            Antimony Noon highlighted an excerpt from The Spark Internal
            No trace of light shone upon the stone instead black smoke flowed from it and spread throughout the room, the cause of the unnatural dark around him. Yet, from within the stone a fire burned red hot a beacon in the gloom
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