thoughts from a n0.0b (this might be long, I've had a lot of coffee)

Created almost 3 years ago by Max Lindern with 8 comments
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Bard Max Lindern · Reader · added almost 3 years ago
Dang, I’m sorry Joe. Missed this inbox is so fulla crap all of a sudden, hard to see what’s important. Anyhoo, my page is a mess. I was tryin’ to post a teaser from part II, and ended up replicating part I, in it’s entirety on my highlight box. Now there is a HUGH wall of text there, lookin’ at me...I can’t get rid of it.  The worst part is, there are no paragraph breaks, no spacing and no italics. Those are smoke and mirrors that authors use to look worldly and wise, I wanna look worldly and wise... Now I just look desperate... yosh! Still fixing things too. bleh
Picture Joseph Asphahani · Author · edited almost 3 years ago · 1 like
Aha, thanks @Joni Dee , but in my last update I only wanted to emphasize being away from updates. I’ll still be around the forums, the DMs, the actual chapters of books that catch my interest. But yeah, no more reader updates.
15230176 Joni Dee · Author · edited almost 3 years ago · 1 like
@Joseph Asphahani Hey Joe, you can change your profile to private and then nobody can access it... if people want time out or to be off the grid (can’t fathom why but that’s a different story...)
Picture Joseph Asphahani · Author · edited almost 3 years ago · 1 like
Hi, Max.

I was just lazily patrolling the forums and came across this thread. I tried to click on your profile picture to take a look at your stuff, but a message came up saying "This person has asked for a little privacy. Cheers." 

I’ve never seen that before. Did you set some kind of option for a private account? Or did you deactivate your author page? (....maybe you’re not even reading this right now!) What gives? 
Imlnct1j Jamison Stone · Author · edited almost 3 years ago · 1 like
Hey @Max Lindern welcome to Inkshares! My suggestion is to comment/share/recommend other people’s work and they will comment/share/recommend yours. 

Want to see it in action? Read though RUNE OF THE APPRENTICE and make some comments/shares/recommends and watch the magic unfold! 

(Please note that RUNE has been edited several rounds past what is currently available on and its final version will be released to the world in Oct/Nov so disregard any typos. Enjoy!)
Bard Max Lindern · Reader · edited almost 3 years ago · 3 likes
Thank you Ricardo, you have no idea how much this means to me. THIS is what I need. I write like a huge verbal emission, the kind you get from ingesting beans. I barely remember writing the 300 pages. This kind of honesty is what makes me know I’ve much more to do. You know when you finish something and friends and family read it? Yeah, the crit from them is always the same: "It’s great. Wow, that’s great. Can’t believe how great that leave me alone." I need direction like this. Thank you.

You and Pete Ryan  imparted the same wisdom to me, "Tighten it up." First order of business, (after I get done with jumping up and down). I have work to do.  Thank you one more time.
10492145 10152537787574467 5636434093663626414 n Ricardo Henriquez · Author · edited almost 3 years ago · 2 likes
I have to be honest, I understood a quarter of what you wrote in the post below, it is kind of all over the place, but because you took the time to leave comments on my book and I like to be supportive and always pay it forward, I went to your page and read some of your excerpts.

There is no doubt that you can write. You can set a scene and create an interesting character with just a couple of sentences. You have talent, don’t let any of your eyes tell you otherwise.

The only advice I would give you is that you have to present your work more clearly. Your page is difficult to understand. I read the first piece about the girl buying the video game, and it was awesome. I love how you wrote two well-defined characters with just a short interaction between them. Then I had no idea what I was reading after that, or after that, so I just stopped reading because I couldn’t understand what was going on. The writing was good; the clutter was distracting.

If you are ever going to launch a campaign, it is important that you give samples of your writing that are very clear and organized, so people take the time to see how good of a writer you are. If you jump from one scene to another or from one chapter to another (which is what I think was happening with your samples) reading become hard and readers get annoyed. Annoyed readers don’t buy books.

I don’t mean to be critical; it is just my two cents. There is no doubt that writing is something you are good at.
Bard Max Lindern · Reader · edited almost 3 years ago · 1 like
Hello, I’m a monkey (ook ook). I am new, bout three days old here. I should prolly keep my trap shut, keeps me from ingesting flies but... I need constructive eyes  and you need constructive eyes. 
My eyes read everything they can get, lenses on. They can be constructive, but I worry that giving anyone that part of my eyes in the form of criticism might get one of them black and blue. That word ’constructive’ man, that’s a sneaky word in this context! 
I have two eyes. I read what I write with the right eye and it always tells me my stuff is great! I’m gonna be a new superhero called The Pulitzer!  They’re gonna make movies and prequels and reboots for days from this gold!
I read what I write with the left eye and it says: Your stuff is crap. Line the catbox with it, at least Bunnyfoot (my cat) can poop on it and no will know.
I’m conflicted.
I’m not a critic, if I read something that I like, I’ll say it. If I read something I respect...that’s where the hearse meets the curse. To me respect is something that gets me, hook line and sinker. I can’t help being critical of it, it’s that good. 
I would like to trade my eyes for your eyes, if you would. I will like your stuff and I will respect your stuff and most importantly I will read it. 
Most people say they aren’t afraid of ’constructive’ (there’s that word again) criticism, meaning they just want you to read it because numbers. I’m not afraid of it because eyeballs. You actually read it. You would bless me even if you tell me it’s dog crap.
I’m not here for numbers. Pre-orders to get published is something I’m not sure I’m ready for. I need eyes. I will read everything of yours, I promise. That’s about the only good my eyes are good for. I’ll give you as much honest (notice I did not use the word constructive) criticism as I can. I’m not  critic though, but I can take a critic, I want a critic, I need a critic...
My eyes for your eyes, my left eye can be a bummer though, (I think it’s hyper-vascular tear ducts). I have to read most things with only the right one.
Thank you for standing outside my cage. Could you...could you sneak me some concession food before you leave the zoo? These bananas are  gettin’ ripe...