Massive thanks to Anthony Curtis for pre-ordering a copy of the book. Tony fully acknowledges that his philosophies are borrowed from The Smurfs. He stands on the shoulders of gnomes.

Extract from Chapter 11 of mystery-comedy novel, 'The Investigations of the Para-Usual':

Near to hand, set up on the pavement outside a newsagents was a vendor of fruit and vegetables, his wares arranged upon tables in plastic bowls.

‘The Brussels sprout? What do we know about the… Yes, why, we know that the Brussels sprout has to be the most locally grown vegetable known to man,’ said O’Singh, picking up a shining example from one of the vendor’s bowls. ‘A vegetable originating from one particular Belgian city.’

‘Or is it?’ Dr Pratt countered, springing with muted gusto across to another display. ‘Consider the Savoy cabbage!’ he said, holding aloft one of the very same, again tilting his head to take the strain off his neck.

‘Well I never! Are you saying?’

‘The Savoy cabbage is a cabbage that hails not from a country, not from a city even, but a hotel, a single London edifice.’

The academics stood facing each other, momentarily, in mutual admiration, Dr Pratt looking very much like a pet dog that cocks its head in recognition of something it cannot fathom but with which it is familiar all the same.

That was quite possibly the moment, O’Singh would later proclaim, that the men sealed their partnership. O’Singh as Dr Pratt’s accomplice at the IPU. The very idea. The potential. The potential for mass discovery. The possibilities. At last, at this point, we might dare to dream of learning everything – the art of mind-reading, or why a bull’s eye is in the centre of a dartboard but not located in the middle of that animal’s body.

Massive thanks to Julie Fortescue for pre-ordering not one but two copies of The IPU. Suggesting that one copy might be kept somewhere other than the toilet (restroom)

Extract from Chapter 11 of mystery-comedy novel, 'The Investigations of the Para-Usual':

‘I have come to dwell on many, multifarious things,’ ruminated O’Singh. He took the liberty to guide Dr Pratt over to a sun-dappled bench under a plane tree and invited him to sit down in the way one might before delivering momentous news.

The professor threw himself onto the bench, wedging Dr Pratt into a conspiratorial corner.

‘Think where biologists have discovered new plant and animal species thus far,’ effused O’Singh. ‘Once upon a time it was the discovery of unchartered lands which might throw up such novelties. Think of the Antipodes, of Australia.’

‘Yes. The wallaby. The kangaroo,’ pondered Dr Pratt, releasing one of his hands from nursing his sore neck to hold it out limply in a begging attitude, à la marsupial. ‘The duckbill platypus… What exactly is a platypus, you know, apart from a platypus without a duck’s bill?’

‘We cannot be entirely certain,’ said O’Singh, with certainty. ‘But the duckbill platypus gives us a remarkably good idea. As the name suggests, we are dealing with an animal that is as platypus as you can get, all apart from the bill.’

‘Which is duck-like. I see,’ said Dr Pratt, flapping one of his elbows while delivering a couple of honks to impersonate an avian species.

‘What was that?’ asked O’Singh, arrested by Dr Pratt’s action.

‘A goose.’

‘Oh?’

‘I said “duck-like”. A goose is duck-like,’ explained Dr Pratt. ‘At least they are kind of similar.’

 Extract from Chapter 11 of mystery-comedy novel, 'The Investigations of the Para-Usual':  

‘I have noticed with you, Dr Pratt, an interesting form of body language that accompanies your speech,’ said O’Singh, hesitantly.

‘Well it might interest you that in recent times I have been attending to a little project of my own?’

‘Oh? Do share.’

‘I have been formulating accompanying gestures to speech, rather akin to signing for the hard of hearing… you know, to help certain disadvantaged people.’

‘Oh, and to aid whom in particular?’

‘The hard of understanding.’

O’Singh raised his eyebrows and propped his upper lip with the lower, in a gesture of approval.

‘Here we are – the Memorial to Heroic Self Sacrifice,’ announced Dr Pratt.

The academics shuffled their way along the wall, absorbing the plaque tributes to heroes from Victorian times. Ordinary people who had become extraordinary in their death, perishing in the act of saving the lives of others; jumping into rivers, breaking into burning buildings.

‘I love this place,’ said Dr Pratt, improvising a swimming fish.

‘Place… oh, plaice, yes, I see. You imitate that species of fish for the hard of understanding,’ realised O’Singh. ‘Although… how do you distinguish that signing from “I love this haddock?”’

‘The plaice is a flatfish,’ replied Dr Pratt, assuredly.

O’Singh glanced over the person of Dr Pratt to gauge whether he was breathing in or somehow making himself appear flatter.

Very flattered that Jeremy Thomas, CEO of Inkshares, has pre-ordered a copy of the book. Thanks very much, Jeremy. Jared Diamond's 'Guns, Germs and Steel' one of my favourite texts too. I entreat any readers hoping for a yarn about an unhygienic paintballing centre in Sheffield, to persist.

 Extract from Chapter 8 of mystery-comedy novel, 'The Investigations of the Para-Usual':

O’Singh stood up, stunned. The prospect of a position at the IPU had been too good to be true. Why he had been gifted somebody else’s letter of introduction was neither here nor there. The outcome was what it was – stark. Mankind stood never to know the answers to the truly big questions. Like how we might discover the means to appear invisible. Or, why – when a TV licence costs more for a colour set than a monochrome – a dog licence isn’t cheaper? Dogs see only in black and white.

-yhnsvqu{p6'{�

Goodlye thanks to Cathy Curtis for pre-ordering my book, the mystery-comedy titled, 'The Investigations of the Para-Usual'. Cathy is one half of the partnership with Hector Nobike, star of the short film, 'Lawnmower Version 1.4, Tutorial' (see http://bit.ly/1Mm15qW).