2000 BOOKS!!!

2000!

The number two  with three zeros after it.

This is amazing everyone. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my cold, dead writer’s heart (where all your favorite characters are killed for my amusement).

Such a monumental event deserves a monumental story...or at the very least...a stupid one. So here is the story of a stupid thing I recently did.

In my third or fourth year of college working toward a theatre degree, I took a class called Career Prep for the Actor in which my teacher really encouraged me to be a writer (because...my acting skills were so good.) Toward the end of this class, she asked us all to say one goal we would like to achieve in our career: a role we’d like to play, starting our own theatre troupe, that sort of thing. When it came around to me I said that I would like to go into a bookstore [full disclosure: I said Borders. RIP], find my book on the shelf, and buy it. Everyone laughed. "If you write a book, you won’t need to buy a copy of it."

I had to admit...they had a point. What I said was kind of stupid.

STUPID LIKE A FOX!!!

   

THAT’S RIGHT FORMER CLASSMATES! WHO’S STUPID NOW, HUH? WHO’S STUPID NOW? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(A: Still me)

Thank you to the staff at Unabridged Bookstore here in Chicago for humoring the weird bald guy who wanted his picture taken at checkout.

In other news:
  
Our Fair City, the audio drama that I write for, had it’s Season 7 launch party this weekend. It was the biggest affair to date with a giant replica of the in-story Dr. Montgomery Moro Memorial Museum and Historical House. For more about the event, check out my blog post with pictures and links to the audio tour made specifically for the launch. Also, stay tuned to Our Fair City on iTunes as one of my episodes should be coming up pretty quick.

And finally, as we pass the 2000 milestone, I can’t help but look forward to the next thousand books. Or hundred books. Or ten books. Look another person might want to buy my book, but the most likely way they’ll find out about it is by you spreading the word. And the easiest way to spread the word is to leave a review on Amazon. So if you haven’t composed a written review for the book yet, please, take a moment and do so. 
Here I’ll even link you there through the magic of technology.


Once more with feeling: everyone, THANK YOU.

Userphoto6 original Tara Schile · Reader · added over 2 years ago
Congrats on 2,000 copies!!! That’s amazing!! Well done you!!

Hey everyone,

I don’t really have much to say, but this did happen...

1900 BOOKS SOLD!!!
Bela is pleased.

Thank you everyone for all your support. 

Also, Michael Hasse, soon-to-be published author of The Madness of Mr. Butler, interviewed me for Renderosity Magazine. So if your a fan of long lists and overuse of the verb "decided" head over there and check it out.

Also for those of you who write (which I know is a good portion) WildClaw Theatre, Chicago’s premiere destination for horror on the stage, is now accepting submissions for their annual radio play festival, Deathscribe

 

Five selected scripts will be performed at the beginning of December with live foley and professional actors, competing for the coveted Bloody Axe Award. Can you scare up a story? Submit and find out. (Or don’t. I have enough competition as it is.)

That’s all for now. Onward to 2000!

Greetings friends,

So news. Last weekend I returned to ye olde hometowne of Moline, Illinois for a signing at the restaurant Barley and Rye pictured here:
 
(Huh. Who is that magnificent jerk?)

Somewhere around a hundred people came to the event (our host stopped counting around 80). Those who had already bought there copies got them signed and we gave about 30 more to those who made a donation to Children’s Therapy Center of the Quad Cities raising $602 for children with special needs. Thank you for everyone who came out to support me and my silly little novel including...
 
Family
 
Childhood friends.

My first theater director.

 
Former Kung Fu instructors bearing gifts.
 
 
The man partially responsible for my love of Halloween as demonstrated in the picture he brought...
  
(Seen here: Jim wearing a Punisher costume before that was an actual thing you could do.)

And more...


 
 

Again thank you one and all! Now, if you’ll excuse me I think there are a few more of those blood-spatter cookies left.
 
(Pictured here: Yum!)

1500 COPIES
WE DID IT!!!! In fact, we killed it! It’s dead! We are over 1600 copies on our way to 1700. VAMPIRE PARTY!

  (When going to your snobby vampire blood tasting, swirl the blood in your glass and take in the full bouquet.)

DID YOU KNOW?
9 out of 10 hypothetical doctors say that leaving a review on Amazon makes you super cool. The last doctor is your dentist who keeps trying to give you adult braces. Don’t listen to her. Leave a review!

NEWS
An Unattractive Vampire was this months featured book pick of the Paranormal Shopping Network. I also did an interview with them on Twitter which I compiled into a handy little post here. Also, I will be a spotlighted author on the 125 Pages blog in September.

 Dragon Con is accepting nominations for their new awards and there is a push to get Inkshares authors into the mix. So head over and nominate An Unattractive Vampire in either the Fantasy (Paranormal) category or...Asteroid Made of Dragons in Fantasy and An Unattractive Vampire in Horror. Either way, be sure to nominate The Life Engineered in Science Fiction.

As for events:
Tonight

 Our Fair City is having a fundraiser at Headquarters in Chicago (2833 N. Sheffield) Come out, say hi, and support your favorite dystopian mad science audio drama featuring a wall of meat.

Saturday


Our Fair City (including me) will be doing a podcasting panel at the Columbia Geek Culture Gala at 2 PM. I will have postcards to hand out and fruit will be SMASHED!

Next Week:
I will be returning triumphantly(?) to my old Quad City stomping grounds to sign books for backers at Barley and Rye in Moline, IL. There will also be copies available for those who make a donation to Children’s Therapy Center. 

OTHER NEWS:

Big congrats to fellow Sword and Laserer J-F Dubea for hitting tha magic 750 preorder number for his second Inkshares book.

Remember: there are still lots of worthy books out there looking for love in all the right places (Inkshares). For example Lucky by RH Webster and the contestants for the Live Free or Die...Hard Science competition.

So that’s all for now.

Go forth and leave Amazon Reviews.
(I must be this guy...because I keep Harping on that.)

  


Greetings All,

We are quickly approaching 1500 copies of An Unattractive Vampire! Fifteen Hundred. One thousand plus five hundred. That’s about Fourteen hundred and fifty more than I ever thought I might sell. So...what’s a way that you...people who have mostly already bought and read/are reading An Unattractive Vampire do to help push us over that milestone...well, how about...

WRITE A REVIEW ON AMAZON


(because Hypnotoad wants you to.)

Seriously, I know I’ve harped on this a lot, but customer reviews are really important particularly for first time writers. So if you’ve read the book please, please, PLEASE go to Amazon and leave a review. And if its good, that’s a bonus.

Other news:

Did you know: I have a website. It’s true. I paid for it and everything. Anyway, I’ve started putting up a some blog posts about references and inspirations in/for An Unattractive Vampire. So if you’d like a little insight into how the sausage was made head on over there and look for the ugly mug of Kurt Barlow.

  

Next up...

  

The next book in the Sword and Laser Collection came out this week. Congrats to G. Derek Adams. If you’re in the mood for some high fantasy silliness, I recommend you check it out. 

Also this week marked the beginning of the latest Inkshares contest, this one hosted by Geek and Sundry (SQUUUUEEEEEE!). The theme: Hard Sci-Fi. (For the uninitiated, that’s science fiction where all the science is accurate, not science fiction that goes to the gym to get swole.) So head on over to the contest page and check out the next soon-to-be published novels. Or hey, better yet, throw your own hat into the ring. Come on...I know you want to.

Also also...I have some appearances coming up this month I’d like to promote.
On Saturday the 23rd I will be joining my Our Fair City cohorts at the Columbia Geek Culture Gala. We will be there from 2-3 talking about podcasting, audio drama, and very likely smashing some fruit. Also, I will be passing out postcards like a bleeper bleeper.

Then on Saturday the 30th I will be in ye olde Quad Cities (of hometown fame) at Barley and Rye doing a meet and greet/signing for backers. So if you are in or around the Quad City area...


(Not seen above...East Moline. That’s right, East Moline, you still don’t count.)

...on April 30th come by and get a book signed. I will sign any book you bring me, though I’d prefer if it was mine. We may even be giving out a few copies in exchange for donations for Children’s Therapy Center. So swing by, say hi, and do a third thing that kind of rhymes at Barley and Rye. (Ha...nailed it.)

Anyway, that’s all for now. Hopefully the next time I write a lengthy possibly annoying update it will be to announce WE DID IT! Until then, remember...
AMAZON!

  

Hey Folks,

So it was a crazy week complete with adrenaline rushing and completing life goals and stressing over parties and not sleeping.

News! News! News!

  

My Sword and Laser interview came out today. Tom and Veronica were great and I was so happy to be on their show and I only used about a third of the practice interviews I’ve done while sitting in traffic listening to episodes. Plus, I discovered that they are partially responsible for the book I wrote, having appeared in Vampire Secrets: a history channel documentary that I had seen that inspired certain sequences in my book.

Also last Friday, An Unattractive Vampire had its launch party at Bucket O’ Blood Books and Records and it was fantastic. Books were sold. Wine was drunk. I didn’t have to read a gosh darn thing and my nephew asked adorable questions like "Who are the good guys?" and "How many vampires are there?" ("Come on Uncle Jim, it’s your book. Shouldn’t you know?") Thank you to my many friends who came out to support me, because you are awesome people and also to Jeni and Grant for hosting it.

  

  

So what now? Well, hopefully you are all enjoying your time with An Unattractive Vampire. When you are done with that go over to Amazon and leave a review. Also, spread word. Tell friends about it. Push extra copies on relatives. If you don’t have a copy yet, Goodreads is currently giving some away to twenty lucky individuals. So far, over three hundred people have signed up to win copies. I will continue doing my best on my end to promote this thing, but spreading word and leaving reviews are the best way you can help.

Anyway, that’s all for now. Thank you all so much. It really has been a ride. Now...off to cookies and writing. 

Hey Everybody,

Just a quick update as publishing week continues.

The first of the two podcast interviews is up. Fellow Inkshares authors JF Dubeau and Paul Inman had me on their WriteBrain Podcast. Check it out there or on iTunes

Also for anyone in the Chicago area, it’s time to party! I will be at Bucket O Blood Books and Records (3182 N. Elston Ave) tonight starting at 7 PM for my official book launch celebration. So take a break from binge watching Daredevil and eat something. Also, if you know anyone who is in Chicago who doesn’t yet have my book, send them that direction. Bucket O Blood has a Bucket O Copies.

Remember to write those Amazon reviews!!! I can’t stress that enough. Amazon reviews are super important to advertising this little book by a first time author who no one has ever heard of. That’s how people will hear of me or more importantly my book (drinking game...take a drink every time I say book). So please, please PLEASE  place a review on Amazon when you are done reading. Or while reading. Or before reading. I’m not particular. Here I’ll even make it cut and paste easy for you:

I liked this book.

I didn’t like this book.

There. Feel free to post one of these amazing reviews on Amazon.

Before I go I wanted to congratulate the winners of the Nerdist Space Opera Contest Michael Haase, Christopher Leone, and Patrick Edwards. So yeah, those books will be coming down the line, but there are still lots of other worthy stories that didn’t win looking for funding. So continue to check Inkshares to help fill your bookshelves/e-reader space/heart.

Anyway, I have to go deliver more postcards to anyone who will let me (and maybe a few who just won’t notice)...as always thank you.

HAPPY PUBLISHING DAY!!!

 
(Yulric does not approve of my rudimentary photoshop skills.)

So at long last, the day I have worked toward for five years has arrived. Time to sit on my laurels and fall into a deep, contented sleep.

WRONG!!!

There’s still so much news and so much to do involved with this book for me and, if you’re willing, for you. 

First, tell everyone you know about the book! Word of mouth does wonders. If you have extra copies, give them to friends, neighbors, coworkers.If you don’t yet own a copy, you’re in luck! Goodreads is giving away 20 copies!  

Second, again, I implore everyone who reads the book to please, please, PLEASE go to Amazon and leave a review. It doesn’t have to be long or involved. You can simply write "Thumbs up" or "Thumbs down." However, if I get past 50 reviews my book will begin showing up in ads and algorithms so it is really important.

Third, good things...reviews! Interviews! So far things have been incredibly positive. Which is good, because I hate crying. Last night, I recorded a podcast with my fellow Inkshares writers J.F. Dubeau and Paul Inman so look for that soon over at Writebrain Podcast. And in two hours, I get to live the dream by appearing on the Sword and Laser. I’m excited. So...yay!

Fourth, lest we forget...there is going to be a party this Friday at Bucket O Blood Books and Records in Chicago. So if you happen to be in or around the city, celebrating St. Patrick’s Day (again) stop on by. 

And...finally? I don’t know. I’m too excited. I had a hundred things to say in this update and now I can’t remember them all. As one of many thank yous that you all deserve, it was suggested by J.F. that maybe I show a little of the behind the scenes work that went into the process. So here are some early markups of the An Unattractive Vampire cover:

 








Hahaha.

Haha.

Ha. So much news...

First of all, there have been sightings of a strange and hilarious creature, stalking local bookstores praying on the minds of readers. Witnesses have placed it at Powell’s Books in Portland...
  
...at Unabridged Books in the Lakeview neighborhood of Chicago...


...and at City Lit Books in Logan’s Square also in Chicago.

  
If any of these locations are near or known to you, authorities recommend you take public safety into your own hands by capturing these potentially dangerous abominations. 

Yeah, so enough of that. My book is out!!! Like not officially or anything, but it can be located in physical places. That’s great.

You know what else is great? This review from Publisher’s Weekly.

What’s more...I just discovered that the review feature on Amazon is up and working for my book. Why is this important? Here’s an infographic:

  
So yes, between 50 and 100 reviews (another number I’ve heard thrown around for algorithms. Please, please, PLEASE...go to Amazon and leave a rating and review. Even if it’s just "I liked it" *Five Stars.* ESPECIALLY if it’s just "I liked it" *Five Stars.* If you already posted a review on Goodreads or Netgalley, copy and paste is your friend. This is incredibly important for the success of the book, especially for a first-time, unknown author such as myself. 

And just a reminder again, that the official launch party for An Unattractive Vampire will be at Bucket O’ Blood Books and Records on March 18th at 7 PM. Here’s the Facebook event page so that you know this is totally a real thing and not just another black market toe harvesting scam.

Almost done.

There’s about a week left to go in the current Inkshares Space Opera contest. Once you’re done writing a rave review about how my book changed your life in ways you don’t fully comprehend, consider helping another person live this dream of stress and uncomfortable self-promotion by purchasing a book like...

The maddening tale of a so-called "round planet" in The Madness of Mr. Butler by Michael Haase 
Space truckers and conspiracy in Lucky by RH Webster
The dangerous and nearly extinct human being in The Life Interstellar by Zack Jordan
Interstellar inebriation in Space Tripping by Patrick Edwards
Retro spies and rocket ships in To Live and Die in Avalon by Jason Chestnut

And again...thank you all.

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