Caren Simpson McVicker · Author · edited over 4 years ago

Thanks for reading and commenting @Peter J Sterpe ! Who knows which version will end up in the final book? Maybe a combination of the two? I appreciate your insight, as always :)

Peter J Sterpe · Reader · edited over 4 years ago · 1 like

Really liked Chapter 1, and agree with the commenter who thought the original was better. I was, indeed, hooked quicker by the original. I got a nicer sense of the city from the alternative, though, especially the imagery of the bustle. The alternative seems to want to establish Bessie’s character by describing her job and what a tight ship she runs. She’s substantial, but can the office details maybe wait? Her reaction to the eyeglasses tells me a lot about her; also the fact that her sister makes a lot of the decisions. The mimeograph machines and the not-to-be-called-copy-girls and the career backstory felt a little planned. The original chapter makes me want to read more, and as I do, I’ll be happy to learn more about what makes Bessie tick.

Caren Simpson McVicker · Author · added over 4 years ago

Thank you, @Emily Sinnott (Betsy!) for reading and leaving a comment. I’m so pleased you enjoyed it. One week from today, this lovely story might have a publisher :)

Emily Sinnott · Reader · edited over 4 years ago · 1 like

This book is engaging and fun to read. Thank you for taking me back to a time and place I’ve never experienced. It’s beautifully written and gives us a blueprint for sharing kindness that is needed in our world today.

Caren Simpson McVicker · Author · edited over 4 years ago

Thanks so much for reading the draft @Pamela Butts and leaving such a wonderful recommendation! It is a rough draft and has some typos - no worries - I’m still revising and hopefully if things go well this week, I will have a real editor through Inkshares very soon! There has been a lot of discussion as to whether or not the story needs more conflict and to date, most readers agree with you. They seem to like the fact that it is a sweet, straight-forward narrative - something we don’t get much of these days. Thank you again for all your support and when the book is finally launched, we’ll need to figure out a book signing in your neck of the woods!

Pamela Butts · Reader · edited over 4 years ago · 1 like

Ah! I read it all in one day and thoroughly enjoyed it! It was romantic without being explicit or overly sappy. It was “Christian’ without being preachy. And it had a wonderful sense of time & place. Perhaps it was too clean & neat, but, honestly, that’s what I like and what is missing from so much post-modern literature.

I found a few typos that I would have to dig to find again. First one was early in the section about making creamed peas (there was a stray letter like rto instead of to). 2nd was “I” in place of the word “If” in chapter 16 (I think) , and a there was a missing word (maybe a preposition?) in ch 17 or 18. Lmk if you need me to look again.

I nominated & shared on FB and went ahead & paid to be a super-reader. I couldn’t figure out how to star a chapter. Good luck.

Caren Simpson McVicker · Author · added over 4 years ago

Thanks, Nan! I really appreciate all the local support from the neighborhood :)

Nebambara · Reader · added over 4 years ago

Caren! Great work! So proud of you!

Caren Simpson McVicker · Author · added over 4 years ago

Thanks @Bob Van Degna ! It’s pretty scary, but so far it’s totally been worth it! I appreciate your support :)

Bob Van Degna · Reader · edited over 4 years ago · 1 like

I’m so impressive with your dedication to fulfilling your dreams. Putting yourself out there as an artist can be a scary thing.