I could feel hands on my back, shifting me towards the edge.
"This is how I die." I whisper for only myself to hear. "This is the end!"
Realisation kicks in and the struggle begins, I thrash out with my bound wrists, but what good could it be against them,all of them. My legs recieve a painful yank as one of the men tightens the rope restraints. I buckle over and my legs fail me, it is a quick collapse but the universe seems to hate me right now and it prolongs my endurance of pain. Each splinter in the floor sticks up like a miniature knife, jabbing at my body and sends me writhing on the deck. Fleeing every position of my torture and instantly regretting any movements. Still the crew jeer and taunt me telling me to wriggle to the water. That’s when it happens, one such man, A stout bloke at the front of the hord ;standing as straight as possible in order to look intimidating and failing miserably. This one man makes me lose it. As his fellows nudge me along the plank they assembled just for me (I feel so special) the bloke sneers down at me and says
"Get up and face it like a man!"
The others chortle at this remark. I do not. Instead, I move my hands as much as I dare now I’m on the slab of doom and ,though wincing for a moment as more woody knives find a home in my palms I push myself into a kneeling position.
"Of course I’ll take this,"I say and I feel my lips twitch as I look up and reply with a smirk "but I will NEVER be a man!" He walks towards me, his face now stern "and I’m proud of it!" I say with a full smile. He grabs my shoulder and tilts me so I lean over the lapping waves
" go to hell bitch!" He half says, half yells in my face.
"I’ll see you there" I say holding his glare with my own. Holding his glare until I feel the over tilt. Until I feel weightless. Until I feel the icy embrace of the waters below
"This is the end." I say simply to myself
"This is how I die."
I should be floating but the thick ropes drag me down. Their weight. their strength. I become trapped in a downward current and can do nothing. At least not while I’m tied up...
"You need to live!" It is nothing but a whisper in the back of my mind... "You need to live" says the little voice. And I do want to but..it’s so much easier to do nothing. To stay in these hallucinations and forget the world I never got to see...."You need to live."....slowly getting more insistent..."You need to live!"... I need to live... "You NEED to live!"...I want to live..."YOU NEED TO LIVE!"...I’m GOING to live! I open my eyes and feel the sting of salt rush at them, and close them again, recoiling at the nipping; but I have to see and I reopen them at a squint.
A soft light shines dimly above me, soon it’ll be gone altogether. I turn , leaning towards the end of rope that jutts out of the side and trails behind me. But something i’s wrong. The strain on my stomach is too great and I breath out to relieve the pressure. And I realise the mistake. My throat feels the tension first. Like a hand wrapping tightly around my neck. It strains and hurts and I desperately rub the sides. Still hurting. Still hurting. More painful. Now scratching it. Scratching until the skin grows ragged.
Still hurting.
Then my chest burns as it is slowly crushed. Soon my whole body begs for air.
I know I cannot breath. I mustn’t. But I have to... and I do. Salted water floods into my mouth, stinging my lungs and forcing my mouth to open and shut in rapid succession as I cough; Trying to rid myself of salty poison.
Sinking.
Slowly.
Hopeless.
Darker.
Pressure.
A giant hand slowly restridcting me, Confining me. Sinking.
Blackout.
Pressure.
Pain.
Sizzling at first then scalding. A searing sensation that attacks me from all sides. My legs feel the heat more than anything else. Forced more and more tightly together. Contorting into obscure and awkward angles.i Curl into a ball,hugging my legs as i continue my decent of murky waters.