Cries from the next room seemed as harsh as the sound of breaking glass to her. The small baby girl, her baby, had woken again. This is not the fairytale, she thought, with hands shaking. A tear escaped down her cheek as she stayed a moment longer to stare out the window. Gripped again by an overwhelming fear, she stood slowly to head to the nursery. “Please tell me what to do?” she pleaded with the baby, with God, or anyone who could hear her. The cries continued as she rocked the child, first in a chair, then while pacing the floor. “Alice, I don’t know what to do” she said through tears, knowing the child was far too young to understand. Her husband was gone most days now from sun rise until well into the night, busy again with his publishing firm. Violet was left home to care for her child who she could not comfort and who seemed to desperately need something her mother could not give her. As Alice’s cries grew shriller, Violet shook even more, sobbing again “I don’t know how to be a mother. I don’t know how to be what I need to be.” She sat down in the chair again, staring blankly out the window while tears silently fell down her face. Alice continued to cry as they rocked back and forth through the night.

Sometime later the front door opened and Edwin came through, trying his best to not wake the baby. Violet brushed a wisp of blonde hair away from her green eyes and looked down. She had stared so long out the window she had not noticed that Alice had finally cried herself to sleep. Edwin picked Alice up and carried her back to her crib. When he returned to the living room, Violet was again staring blankly out the window. “I am afraid all the time, Edwin. I am afraid I will never be the mother she deserves. I wake shaking in the night, and the mornings are no better. I can’t sleep. I walk through this house in a fog. I think I’m losing my mind…” her voice faded away at the end as if she had wanted to say something more. “I…I thought I heard a voice whispering in the bedroom earlier….it was the quietest whisper...” Violet turned from the window to say more, but Edwin interrupted. 

     “Nonsense” he said. “No one knows how to be a parent the first time. It’s trial and error for us all. You are afraid like every woman who has ever come before you.” 

      “It is more than that…” she tried to tell him, but he placed a finger to her lips. He knelt in front of the rocking chair and placed his hands on her arm. “Look now, I’ve brought you something…” From his front pocket he pulled a round silver locket with etched flower detail on the front. He placed it in Violet’s hand and opened it for her. “See…it’s a small sketch of Alice and a piece of her hair. Now you will have a part of her with you every moment. It will help you feel closer to her, perhaps ease your fears a bit.” Edwin wiped a tear from Violet’s cheek. “There. All better now.” Violet forced a smile. “Yes, of course. You’re right” she lied, hoping to convince not only Edwin but also herself. “It’s beautiful.” Edwin smiled and pulled Violet to her feet. He hugged her close, rocking back and forth.

      “You won’t be so scared forever, love. Give it time.” Violet nodded in agreement but knew in her heart that Alice needed so much more from her than she could give. They headed to bed, stopping to peek in at the baby who laid quiet in her bed.

The days began to drift into weeks. Violet struggled everyday to pull herself into the present moments but remained gripped with fear. More than once she had thought of running, leaving Edwin and Alice there together in the hopes they would be happier. Even though Alice was only a toddler, she seemed to notice that things were not quite right. Often Violet had drifted off into thought only to realize later that Alice was hiding behind a chair watching her. Violet knew things were not getting better. If anything the fear that lived inside her was growing worse. Her mind was clouded by it more often than not these days, and worst of all, was the voice.

At first she had thought it to be someone passing by outside. She could have sworn she heard her own name being spoken. It had begun as just her name, but now it was whispers of more. Things she could not mistake as a passerby. A woman’s voice, whispering her name, asking why she was afraid, telling her she could see the terror in her heart. Edwin never heard it. He was gone so often, finding the “greatest stories of the world” to publish. Alice had never seemed to hear it either. Violet knew in her heart she was going crazy. There was no sympathetic voice echoing through her room. It could not be real. She felt sure that she would not survive her own mind as long as she was in the house, and certain that madness would take her.

One evening in the spring, Violet sat staring out the window again while she waited for Edwin to return home. She was startled by a scream from Alice’s room. She jumped from the bed and rushed to find Alice, who had fallen out of her bed and onto a porcelain tea cup that had been part of a set on her play table. Violet sat at Alice’s side trying to calm her and bandage her arm, but Alice could not be consoled. The screaming and crying continued, even after the bandaging was done and the bleeding had stopped. “What? Why are you still crying? Please! Please Alice. I don’t know what to do!” Alice continued to wail as Violet flung her hands up to her own face and screamed. Startled, Alice stopped crying for a moment but then began again. Violet spun on her heal and ran for her bedroom. As she rushed in, she lost balance for a moment, feeling the room spin. She grabbed the vanity table to steady her fall and knocked the white roses Edwin had given her to the floor. She knelt down, staring at the flowers as she slowly picked them up. The blood from Alice’s wound was still on her hands, and covered the white petals like a morbid red paint as she gathered them. “Violet” she heard whispered. “Please let me help you. Let me help you get rid of the fear, let me help you…” the voice drifted off just as swiftly as it had come. She sat at the vanity and looked blankly at her tear streaked face. “I will never be a mother.” She said as tears ran down her cheeks. She glanced at the old clock on the edge of the table. “8:15” she thought, “Edwin will be home soon…” “You will…You will be her mother. You can be…” The voice came from in front of her. Violet was startled, but also for the first time in many months, comforted by it. The mirror began to shimmer. It swirled and swam like liquid until, faintly at first, but most definitely, a woman appeared in the glass. She smiled warmly at Violet, and spoke to her as a mother would comfort a child. “I have watched you for a long time Violet. I know your pain. I know the fear that cripples you and eats at your heart. I know you want so desperately to be the mother she deserves.” Violet glanced out her door towards Alice’s room where she could see her playing tea party quietly with her stuffed rabbit. “I do…” she said shakily, “but…” “You don’t need to dear” the dark haired woman said from the other side of the looking glass. “I will help you. I will make everything right again. I can save you.” Violet wiped her face with the backs of her hands and glanced once more towards Alice’s room then back to the woman in the mirror. “You can be the mother she deserves” The woman reached slowly forward until her finger tips and then both hands slowly drifted through the mirror. Violet reached up and took her hands, searching for hope in the woman’s words. “My name is not important, but I am a queen here. I can heal your heart…. And you never have to be afraid again.” A flash of light, a swirling of the mirror, and Alice was left alone.