“Kade Kolman, also known as KK, is a 29 year old college dropout who quite literally does nothing with his life except play video games. He has no job and has never had one nor does he plan to get one for at least the next 20 years. When he was 12 he accomplished his greatest achievement and won a 10 billion dollar fighting game tournament and since then he has been living off of the interest, it helps when your mother is an investment banker, and in his parents basement. After he finished high school he went to college for 3 months before he figured out it got in the way of his gaming time; so he quit. He only leaves his house on days his Father cleans everything inch of the house, which is every third Thursday of the month, and the only place he goes is the local game store to get new games to occupy, as he calculates, the rest of his life. So if you haven’t guessed by now he is a virgin hermit who just doesn’t care for the company of others. He’s pretty pathetic all in all but I will say he is very intelligent and, although I’ve never seen it in person, a master of gaming. Oh and before I forget I’m Marik Vermylis….the Greatest Adventurer in all of Traxiom and the man who the aforementioned waste of air has switched places with!”

At the moment Marik finished his exclamation the TV blinked to life. On it the other protagonist of our story appeared looking haggard and annoyed. “You know this definitely is a lot easier from my couch… who knew slimes could be so evasive.” said Kade. Slapping his forehead Marik said with great exasperation “Are you seriously having trouble with the monster we send our kids to hunt?!” Looking sheepishly from side to side he says “No….” having had only a shred of hope that they would be able to remedy the situation to begin with; this new information was the straw that broke the camel’s back and caused Marik to lament. It was almost as if all the shadows of the room converged on him in a swirling mass of tendrils and weighed him down. Had he been in his own world the shadows would have actually done as he felt, but as he was not none of that happened. It felt that way to him though. “Stop ‘Lamenting’ we will figure this out and get out of-“Said Kade just before a slime jumped on top of him. This is going to be a long adventure. Especially with these two….