Chapter 1: Mean Gods

If you thought gods were some kind of all knowing beings, you would be so wrong especially here at Deus High-School a sort of school for gods to hone their crafts, it’s got everything from Creation to History to River Gods.

I would like to point out that all this talk of gods being siblings is in most cases complete bullshit, or as we call it around here mortal talk and most of our love stories are complete mortal talk too, heck most of us aren’t even related! Come on! Aphrodite even Looking at Hephaestus would be a miracle, though she does spend a lot of time with Ares but she apparently digs, the sad broody artist types Anubis especially, but he and Hel have been dating for eons.

I’m getting ahead of myself.

While this school does have it’s upsides it does suffer from a very severe case of stereotypical high-school syndrome, you have your jocks like Thor and Zeus over there always trying to see who’s lightning bolts are bigger much to Thot’s expense, those beautiful ladies looking at them are the very deceitful man-eaters known as love goddesses, who also happen to be... Cheerleaders.

Those two are the co-captains Freyja and Rati they happen to hate each other, then you have those three in leather jackets talking up the cheerleaders, while most sex god’s are shamed into hiding their true natures and skills those three are infamous for flaunting their essence. Bes (Yes i’m talking about the dwarf god), Freyr, and Eros they are trying to convince the lovers to go to Dionysus’ party on Saturday i’m probably not going, so who cares.

As we reach the back of the feast hall you start seeing the people that are more my speed the death gods and their obsession with metal (both the music and the material) and Anubis’ ever cool demeanor, Hel arguably the hottest chick in school. And, their leader the ever fiery younger brother of the star quarterback, and the captain of the swim team, who tries his best to act all moody and though even though he’s dating the president of the gardening club my dear friend Hades.

Once you get past the nerds, “I’m looking at you Hephaestus”, The junkies “Hermes you should cut back on the coffee and, is it Dionysus Ali or Bacchus Clay ever since you got into boxing i don’t Know”.

You should never go near the magic gods “Iiisiis! looking glowey as ever i see” and the Hippie gods are always nice “Persephone where is Hades? "Hey Iris we should go get naked, so you can see my true colors”.

Most other gods eat lunch different periods so who knows when you’ll meet them, but until then i present to you my friends: Loki the trickster god you can’t see him cause he’s invisible right now due to a prank that involved shape-shifting and a horse “You don’t want to know.”, classic Thor. Such an asshole!

Pothos over here got shafted by birth as the god of longing and got stuck with a perpetual crush on Eris the school’s uber hot super slut, trick is she only goes out with jocks and the occasional death and art gods but, then turns around to say their dicks are tiny so she’s alright by me.

Now we go around to introduce Sobek also known as Croc and his pseudo-sidekick Babi better known as Boon who tend to be cool dudes if they are not causing general chaos.

These are my friends and this is my school but i guess you are wondering who i am Ogmius better known as Ogma though the jocks tend to call me Omega due to the Greek superiority thing going on in this school and me being one of the few Celtic gods around here.

So that’s it for now who knows how this year will turn out maybe i might even get some action for once and, lets hope it’s not the action loki got.