Rose of Silk
Copyright 2018
Myla Beckett
Rose of Silk is all fiction. The characters and events are all fictional. The names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the writers’ imagination or have been fictitiously and are not to be real.
All Rights Reserved
Disclaimer
WARNING!!!!
I’m going to make this short and straightforward; this book: Rose of Silk has mature content. If you are willing to handle this context; be my guest and proceed. If not, this book is not for you.
Prologue
I did as told; He told me to undress and take a breath. For it was my first time with anyone and I was nervous; you could hear my heart race. I thought it was about to jump out of my chest. I stood there in the middle of his master bedroom bare ass naked exposed to the cold air coming through the vent even though the windows were locked shut and the blinds were down. Both palms started to sweat as they leaked through my hands. My nipples were either hard because I wanted him, or they get like that when exposed to specific temperatures. I suddenly, heard a voice coming from down the hallway. He was standing by the door by the time I turned around. It was him, Maxwell Roseman.
"Wow; you look beautiful!" he says as he walks toward me keeping eye contact.
I shied away as my cheeks started to blush. Mr. Roseman circled me and studied the shape of my body by gently touching my waist which made my eyes flutter with excitement and desire for him. He stood behind me and rubbed my shoulders to relax me a little more.
"Lord Jesus this man had the magic touch," I said to myself as I leaned my head back resting my head on his chest.
"Your skin’s so soft Queenie; like a baby wrapped in silk," he says calmly.
I didn’t know if Maxwell was trying to woo me or flatter me with his words as our eyes shard a passionate gaze, but whatever he was doing it seemed to be working. My mind was racing with all these thoughts of him having his way. My heart rate slowed down as he kissed the side of my neck. I clenched my fist tight as I felt his fingertips touch my sensitive skin. I wanted him badly. He was what I needed. He was all I could think about.
I took in a deep breath as he wrapped his muscular arms around me as the lights above us made his skin glisten with every move he assembled. We hadn’t broken our gaze as his hands traveled down below. He rubbed my clit with his middle finger as a tease. I bit my lip and moaned indicating how badly I craved for his touch; his taste, him.
As he turned me around, he gazed deeply into my beautiful light-brown eyes. His eyes were more of a dark-grey; the kind of eyes you’d want to get completely lost in.
I could tell Maxwell wanted me by the bulge in his boxers as it extended outward. My eyes grew wider as I looked down to see it. I felt my heart race as he slowly caressed and embraced me firmly. I could hear his heartbeat along with mine; it felt like we were connected as one as we shared an ardent kiss. The kiss felt like nothing I’ve experienced before.
He pressed his lips against mine as I moaned with complete passion. His tongue filled my mouth as he dug his hand into my hip; he applied his smooth palm on my thigh as he motioned my hips to sway to the beat of the music that played in the background. He slowly stroked upward to my pussy as my eyes stayed closed biting the sides of my bottom lip.
"This man is amazing," I said as I moved to the beat of the music some more.
Once he detected the wetness of my thighs, I tilted my head back and exhaled wanting this man to take me. He moved his fingers through my locks; and continued to study me. This man has such gorgeous eyes. I said to myself as he rubbed my thighs and in between my legs. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. He had me mesmerized and under his control. As I let out a baby moan, he fingered me some more as I held his shoulders he smirked a little going faster.
"Ah!" I moaned softly.
I clenched onto his muscled body as he kept a steady motion. I held on tighter as he sped up faster moving my clit back and forth with his finger, then slowed down as I started to squirm and cum on his hand. Right about now I’d throw him on the bed and have my way with him if I knew what to do; if we’re honest here. "Just don’t do anything stupid Queenie." my thoughts were all over the place as I continued to watch him.
"Just take me already,” I say as my eyes closed and take in a deep breath.
"Maxwell!"
I moaned once again as I bit my bottom lip to indicate I was ready and soaking wet. Maxwell is much older than me, and he probably loves to torture his women like this when it comes to sleeping with them. He owns his business downtown. "Roseman Enterprises" well his father Andrew Rosman owns the company, Maxwell is CEO of marketing; but still, he’s probably used to this. I, on the other hand, wasn’t. I’m used to hanging out with friends and watching movies with my best friend, Camille.
I closed my eyes and let out a sigh as he removed his finger and abruptly out of nowhere carried me around the room as our lips touch and make out. As I was up in the air; my legs and feet dangle two inches off the ground I felt a rush of goosebumps rush through me as he kissed my collarbone, and neck.
"Help me..." I thought.
I didn’t know what happened after that; all I knew was he laid me down and processed to thrust his waist on mine. I gripped onto the sheets tightly as we both made the bedrock. I tried not to make painful gestures as he went deeper. As he processed, he saw how uncomfortable I was; and decided to slow down. My face expressions changed, and I became more relaxed, or so I thought.
The bulge in his boxers became harder as he grunted. He propped up my leg and continued to thrust deeper as he kept a steady beat with the headboard. My moans began to increase as he continued to go faster. Grabbing the edge of the bed panting and grunting in between each breath. The picture on the wall above us started to tilt a little as our moans intensify. I started feeling uncomfortable and felt an awful amount of pain. I squeezed onto his muscles and screamed as tears formed.
"STOP!" I bellowed.
I shouted as tears fell from my face. He quickly got up and saw the blood that ruined his thread count of the silk bed sheet. I felt embarrassed better yet humiliated at the least. I couldn’t face him after that. I apologized after moments of silence, and I promptly collected my clothes and anything else as I headed for the door.
Several weeks passed, and I haven’t heard from Maxwell. Then one day he told me to meet him someplace to "talk" He walked me in his office and told me he was married and that what we had; had to come to an end. I felt ashamed of myself and hurt because Maxwell was my kryptonite that is until I met "her."
Her name was Marisol Simmons; she preferred to be called Miracle. She was a bit older than me like Maxwell, but she had a temper. Eventually, she was someone I grew to trust and grow close too while dealing with Maxwell who I also grown to trust. Miracle helped me get over Maxwell, and I was starting to feel like myself again. I soon began to develop feelings for her as she did the same. I didn’t know who I was or who I became. She told me I had to decide on who I wanted to be with, and I had to do it fast, but I couldn’t just settle on which one.
Weeks turned into months, and I had to decide. I craved them both. "What was I to do? Who was I?"
Chapter. 1
I just can’t shake the fact that sex this good felt so amazing; nor can I remember the last time I came. He said it to me again, but I couldn’t say it back. I can’t remember the last thing I said to him. It wasn’t pleasant or was it dreadful. I moved away to start over that’s it. I couldn’t say goodbye for I didn’t want to face the shame of breaking his heart. He asked if I felt the same way as he wrapped his arms around my body, but I didn’t. I didn’t feel the same way. I’m young still. I couldn’t say it back without lying to myself primarily, to him. I couldn’t lie to him he’d see right through it. Truth is; I didn’t know if I loved him. I’m still trying to figure out my life. Figure out what I like, and don’t like. There’s this other person I’ve grown let’s say, I’ve become attached to her, and with him confessing his love to me; me of all people hell if I know if I loved him. I was trying to find myself. Did I realize that I question my sexuality? "Was I a lesbian?" "I couldn’t possibly be. Right?"
+
Five months earlier...
As the sun rose, so did I. I laid there for a few moments to collect my thoughts from the previous night. I had the covers all the way up to my chest as I saw my clothes scattered all over the room. My pants were at the edge of the bed as so my panties, my shirt was hanging above me from the dashboard, my bra was attached from his loveseat, and my black boots were somewhere around here. I heard a sound coming right next to me. It sounded like snoring, very awful snoring. It looked like a cat being murdered by a psychopath on cocaine. I grunted as I grabbed his pillow to drown out the sounds of death. "When will this day end?" I said to myself as I struck him with the pillow in hand. He grabbed ahold of the fluffy pillow as he farted a little. "What an animal." I made a face while slowly getting dressed without waking him up.
The sun pierced through the blinds and soon through my eyes as I searched the room for my boots. My cell phone vibrated a few times as I placed my foot in one of the shoes I found from across the room as it dropped on the tan carpeted floor, which looked like it hadn’t been vacuumed in months. I finally picked it up as I glanced and saw Camille who prefers to be called Cami, she sent over forty-six text messages and over thirty-eight calls. I placed it in my back pocket as I continued searching for my other boot; which I found two minutes later underneath this man’s clothes that reeked of smelly socks and alcohol.
Cami’s been my best friend since third grade; she’s only two months older than me. We do everything together. We go shopping together, clubbing, drinking, getting into trouble together you name it. When my parents got divorced, she was there, and when I needed a place to stay Cami was there. My name’s Harlee Quinzel Ramirez, but I prefer Queenie. I’m twenty-five from Toronto, Canada; but moved to New York to start over. I still don’t understand why my parents named me after a DC character. Camille’s twenty-six almost twenty-seven she’s practically an adult by her standards anyway; and she lives in Queens, NY.
I live with her in a two-bedroom studio with excellent air conditioning, and cable TV. She’s hardly ever home though. She’s either out with Demetrius; her boyfriend who’s twenty-nine and a complete asshole or Penelope; her other friend she works with at the Bumblebee Burger Shack. It’s a diner on 32nd. Cami keeps insisting I work with her, but I prefer to paint. That’s what I do to make money and pay rent. So far, I haven’t painted a masterpiece yet to were it’ll be showcased in the huge successful art galleries.
As I slipped into my AC/DC tank top and tied my short brownish curly hair into a messy bun, I took out my phone and sat at the edge of the bed while Cami sends me more messages. I ignore them as I skim through Twitter. I turned my head to the side to see him still laying there now on his back breathing in small breaths as I try to remember the last few hours of what happened. I place my hand on my forehead as I sigh. I looked at the man who seemed to be twenty-five or younger and analyzes his apartment I was in while I placed my phone in my back pocket once more.
Cami continued to blow up my phone with messages. I swear she’s like my mother when she’s worried. I look out the window and saw the cars passing by as he finally wakes. He puts on his boxers and walks beside me as he kisses the left side of my collarbone. I closed my eyes and bit the side of my bottom lip. Whoever this man was; he sure smelled of cheap cologne, and alcohol.; not to mention he needed a hot shower. I took a good look at him as he yawned and rubbed his eyes. He was not twenty-five; he was twenty-seven and handsome. He was three inches taller than me and had a little stubble. His hair was light-brown with highlights that needed to be re-done and perfect teeth. His eyes were crystal blue like the ocean. "Damn, why does he have to be so fine,” I tell myself as I cross my arms looking away trying not to look into his eyes. "So blue." I bit my lip hard enough to distract me from making a fool of myself.
"You were amazing last night,” he says as he licks his lips while he turns my head back around to face him. His lips were pink. He had kissable, suckable lips. The kind of lips that made the inside of your pants wet and want to be kissed as he kisses your thighs. His voice made me weak. He sounded like Channing Tatum and Taylor Lautner if those two were ever in a movie together. Okay, maybe he had the body of Tatum, voice like Lautner and the muscles of Gosling.
My eyes fluttered as my palm touched his biceps. He smirked as I couldn’t remember what happened. I gave him a concerned look as he backed up and sat at the edge of the bed with one hand on his knee.
"Did we?" I said with one eyebrow raised and arms crossed. He giggled under his breath and shook his head.
"No, we didn’t," he said calmly I felt less tense. He looked at me and continued to explain the events that happened. I blushed and hung my head low as he finished and reached for his glasses on the nightstand. I was shocked to see him in his glasses which made him ten times hotter and me; act even more stupid. I looked at my phone as the time read 11:30 am. He looked at me for I stuttered over my words and tripping over things in the room.
"I sh-should go,” I said stumbling over my words trying to speak clearly.
"Harlee-" he says as I cut him off and head for the door. He runs his hands through his hair as it flips back and leans in close to turn the doorknob.
"I-It’s Qu-Queenie," I say as I walk out his apartment and make my way to the stairs and out the building. He flashes a smile and waves goodbye as he closes the door to his apartment.
I left the apartment as I pulled out my phone to reply to Cami’s many messages. As I crossed the street, there was this car that almost hit me. It swerved into the left lane and crashed into a vehicle in the intersection. Before I knew it, there was this man in a suit who shoved me to the side as my head hit the curb. Camille wasn’t too far and rushed over to me with her handbag in hand and phone.
The man was on top of me as he pulled me up. I rubbed the back of my head as I saw Cami stand by my side. She and the handsome man in the suit exchanged a few words as he turned and looked at me. The man looked so elegant. His eyes were the most attractive thing about him; they were more of a dark-grey as I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He smiled and waited for me to answer.
Cami texts her boyfriend to let him know what happened as people gathered around us, some took out their phones to record the crash. My eyes were glued to this man as he talked to Cami then left. I saw him cross the street as Cami started freaking out like an overly protected mother.
"W-What happened?" I said quietly.
She ignored me as she put on her shades to block the sun beaming in her direction, as we walked the rest of the way to the apartment. When we entered the condo, Cami placed her handbag, cell phone on the counter and then placed her shades down as I walked sluggishly towards my room. Cami followed behind as I plopped onto my bed and rested my head on my pillows. I closed my eyes only for a second as I fell asleep moments later. I woke up hours later and saw Cami watching TV in the living room; which was right next to my room. I sat down next to her on the couch as she kept flipping through channels.
"What happened to you last night Queenie? The last thing I know is us dancing on the dance floor, then as soon as I turn my back; you’re gone, with some guy?" she says with a strict tone throwing her hands up in the air waving them around demanding answers. I raise my eyebrow at her and shrug my shoulders as I try to remember.
"I don’t know Camille. The next thing I remember is waking up in some guys bed with no clothes on, trying to remember myself, then as I leave his apartment, I almost get killed." I say as I raise my voice.
Cami gets up to get something to drink as I continue to talk but stops with her hand on the refrigerator handle and looks at me giving me a stare that made me quite uncomfortable. She tiptoes with her drink in hand and lays all on me wanting the dirty details. She invaded my space as she stared me down with her eyes wide open and a creepy smile on her face. I ignored her as I felt my forehead. I still had a headache from the fall. I got up before she could get any closer to get aspirin. She blocked the door to the bathroom before I could get to it.
"Was he cute?" she said as she kept repeating it with a smile that turned her cheeks red. I giggled and turned away and didn’t answer her as I pushed her out the way. She kept pressing me to answer her questions as she kept asking me different ones.
I finally gave in as I rolled my eyes. I poured a glass of water and took my aspirin. Cami waited for me to answer as I drank my water slowly. "Tell me Queenie" she insisted. She stood in front of me quivering her lip with hands folded giving me the "puppy dog eyes" I sighed after looking at her make a complete fool of herself. I sat back down on the couch as she followed and sat next to me. "Y-yes he was cute," I said feeling embarrassed as I dug my face into the couch. Cami got up and did a little celebration dance as she got the popcorn ready.
"Movie?" she suggested as she puts it in the microwave.
"Mulan?" we both said as we both laughed. I nodded as I browse Netflix. Cami puts the popcorn in a bowl and walks towards the couch. Halfway through the movie, we hear the doorbell ring. I get up and walk over to answer it. I turn the doorknob and see him standing there. The man with the ocean eyes. I heard Cami call out to me, but her voice soon faded as I heard him say my name. The whole room was dark, and it was just the two of us. He was staring right at me, and at that moment I didn’t know what to say when he spoke.
"Qu-Queenie," he says as he flashes his teeth and smiles.
Chapter. 2
What was he doing here? How did he know where I lived? Was he following me? Was he a stalker? "Damn he’s fine" These are the type of questions that formed in the back of mind. What does he want? I looked at him blocking any chances for him to enter as I studied his form. It looks like he works out a lot. Butterflies formed in my stomach as my cheeks started to blush. My heart was racing like too fast for me even to take a breath. "GOD! What’s the matter with me? Why can’t I talk? I say to myself as I try to calm down. I heard my name being called by Cami as I saw her standing beside me out my peripheral vision, she kept nudging me as she wondered what was taking me so long. I paid her no mind as she shouted my name. I still had my headache but staring at this man at my door I don’t even know his name, and I’m already making a fool of myself. "Get it together Queenie," I thought to myself as I shook the nerves away.
"Queenie" he spoke with so much bass in his voice I started to squirm in between my legs to keep my composure.
This man sounded so sexy I wish we had slept together last night. Cami got fed up with me taking so long and invited him in. When he crossed the threshold, I snapped back into reality. I went over to pour me a glass of water as he stood there in the middle of our living room/ kitchen as he flips his hair back and licks his lips. Cami looks at me like I lost my mind and returned to the movie. I lick my lips as he studied me up and down. I shy away. He was making me wet. If I stared at him any longer, I was going to burst.
"Harlee-" he says as my eyebrow raises. I cringed at the sound of my name as I squeeze my fist and dig my nails into my skin as I bleed a little.
"I mean Queenie," he says as he takes a breath and digs his hands into his pants pocket.
I blink a few times as we start up a conversation. It seems I had left my ID at his apartment and he was returning it. He handed it back to me as our hands’ touch. I wanted him for some strange reason. Cami was invading our space as it made us both uncomfortable. Cami left the apartment to go to her boyfriend’s house. I was left alone with a guy I still didn’t get his name. I felt very uncomfortable; neither of us spoke a word, and I felt the life sucking the out of me. All these thoughts rushed through my mind of wanting him to pin me over the couch; smack my ass until red marks appear as he thrust his waist into my ass. He snaps me back into focus as he says my name.
"Oliver," he says nervously.
"My name’s Oliver, by the way; I just moved here two weeks ago. I live on the fourth floor of this apartment complex. Your ID says you live on the sixth floor, so I was returning it." he says as he heads for the door. I touched his bicep as we shared a gaze.
"Thanks, Oliver," I said in a sweet tone as we both licked our lips. We spoke at the same time as he smiled. I let go of his arm and opened the door. He kissed me on the cheek as a goodbye and walked away. I closed the door behind me and slid down to the floor as my insides were screaming for help. I tried taking a bath to get Oliver off my mind, but all I do is think of him. As I step into the hot water and soak in the bubbles as it relaxes me I could feel the butterflies return.
I close my eyes and picture Oliver on top of me rubbing me down as he slowly plays with me moaning, saying his name; and caressing is boxers with my hands making the bulge bigger and wider as he arches his head back and groans while biting his lip.
Cami returned home hours later as I was still in the tub letting go of the stress and stench from the previous night. I began to moan softly as she knocked on the door to check on me. I jumped as I was startled by the knock and by my name being called. She called out to me once more, and when I didn’t answer, she went to bed. I stayed in the tub as I played with my clit a little. I didn’t even know Oliver, and I was playing with myself thinking about what this man would do to me. Maybe in the back of my mind, we did have sex that night, and he only said we didn’t because he was excellent.
I got out of the tub a few minutes later feeling a little bit better than before and dressed in my nightwear. I walked to my room and laid down as I pictured the man in the suit who saved me from getting hit hours ago. Whoever he was he looked like one of those men from the male model magazines Cami hides underneath her bed. I didn’t quite catch his name though. He looked so sexy I couldn’t stop dreaming about him the whole night. I felt my eyes getting heavy as I started to fall asleep. When morning came, I took a shower, got dressed and ate my breakfast which was just a bowl of cereal. Cami has left to go to work which meant I had the house to myself. It gets lonely sometimes, but I enjoy the quiet. It helps me focus when I paint.
A few hours passed, and I decided to paint it. Camille’s not going to be home until eight, and it was only 10:15 am., so I painted the remainder of the day. I grabbed my stuff and headed to the park to clear my mind for one and to see if I can get inspired. After setting up, I saw a lot of people; some were playing, mostly the kids, others were putting on shows, these mothers were sitting down talking about whatever, and a few other things. It was a beautiful day outside the wind was just right, and the sun wasn’t too hot either. I saw a woman playing her violin not too far from where I was painting, and as I looked at her, I studied the way she held her instrument close and how she didn’t move as much when she played. I watched her as I began to paint her.
People stopped and stared as they dropped money in her case as she smiled and nodded at them. Whatever she was playing brought tears to my eyes a little. She was very talented, and when I was done painting her, I admired my technique and the quality of how I captured her. I named it: "The Woman with the Answers" I called it that because she seemed to have all the answers when she plays. Her music was soothing, and peaceful to the mind and it cleansed the soul. I took the painting off my easel and carefully placed it down near the ground beside me. I placed my hat down too because I was getting a little hot just wearing it.
By noon not a lot of people stayed in the park. The little ones had school, and the adults had to work. The woman playing the violin packed up her things and left. A couple of people saw the painting of her and complimented me as they too placed money in my hat. I continued painting and watching teenage boys play basketball. I painted an elderly couple feeding the birds as they flew in to eat the little breadcrumbs from the ground. They looked like they’ve been married for years. Once I got done, I named it: "Beyond My Years" and placed it next to the other painting.
I painted six more and placed them next to each other one by one. Each painting was different and told a story. That’s what I love about art; it tells a story, and we’re all different. It was 2:20 pm and I was starving; luckily there was a snack bar in the park, and I grabbed me a double cheeseburger with extra pickles and sprite. I sat down on the bench eating while guarding my equipment and paintings against a distance. No one seemed to steal it or touch it while I was away from my post. Once I finished eating, I went back over to my paintings and began to do a few more. I looked down at my hat and saw I had made $89 in tips. I grabbed the money and placed it in the small pocket in front. I placed my hat down and proceeded to paint.
"Excuse me miss, but how much for the paintings?" said the man.
He pulls out his wallet counting the bills as he licks his lips. I look up at him then at the paintings. I tensed up as he looked at each one. My mind was racing as so my heart race increased times ten. He thought long and hard about which painting to buy let alone all of them. He stared at one: It was a self-portrait of me; of my face turned to the side with very fined detailed strokes. I glanced at it as he pointed it out. I got nervous when he pointed to the one next to it. That painting was of a black married couple. The husband had his arms wrapped around his wife touching her stomach as she smiles. It was a medium-sized portrait that was worth $230; it’s now only $175 because I painted that two months ago and I was happy someone bought it. He handed me the money as I gave him the painting.
"Have a nice evening," he said as he walked away waving goodbye.
I smiled and waved back and finished my painting. Around six o’clock I grew tired and hungry. I began to pack up and head back to the apartment when some man bumped into me and knocked my stuff down. I placed my hair behind my ear as I kneeled down to pick up my belongings when our hands touched, and our eyes met. It was him! The man who saved me yesterday. He wasn’t in his suit this time. He was in his workout attire. I had dropped and cracked my phone when we bumped into each other.
"Damnit!" I muttered angrily.
He handed me back the rest of my things including my busted iPhone. "Something told me before I left the apartment this morning to grab my phone case," I thought to myself as I placed it in my coat jacket pocket with a frown on my face. He looked at me and saw I was troubled and offered to make it up to me. This man saved my life, then offers to make it up to me by breaking my phone. Can this day get any worse? I thought. Then it rained.
The rain came pouring down as I cover my hair with my jacket. My money was safe in my bag I brought along with my art supplies, but those got damaged. I sighed deeply as I touched my forehead because my paintings started to wash away into the sidewalk. I picked up my brushes and placed them in my bag. "Miss, I a-polo-" he says as I lift up my head. His focus was in on my eyes as the reflection made them look different the way my body was turned to him. He placed his hands on his hips and waited for me to respond.
"I’m sorry miss," he says as I look at him. I didn’t say anything for I was upset about my phone, and all my paintings got destroyed. I shook my nerves away as I took in a deep breath. He placed his hand on my shoulder as we shared another gaze. I pulled out my phone to look at it. He made a face and told me he was sorry once more. I shook my heads and understood it wasn’t his fault as we parted ways.
Cami wasn’t home quite yet; as I came inside all wet from the rain and upset sadder that my phone broke. I placed everything to the side and stripped out of my wet clothes and took a long steamy shower. As the water running, me adjusting it to the right temperature I stepped in as the water hit my face as I turned, and it ran down my back. The water was warm then turned hot as the glass fogged the bathroom. My hair was wet and dripping down my body as I just stood there. I screamed to express myself not loud enough to break the glass, but loud enough to let out tears and I began to cry, and I did. I cried in the shower as my life was falling apart.
I practically do the same thing over and over. It’s sad and pathetic if you ask me. I needed excitement; I needed adventure. I needed something to keep me motivated. Sure, painting is what I love, and I’m good at it, but when I moved here, I didn’t expect the same thing to happen here as I did in Brooklyn. I stayed in the shower for another five minutes and stepped out with the towel wrapped around my body as so my hair and walked to my room and put on a yellow tank top and Riverdale sweats. I tied my hair in pigtails and walked into the kitchen to cook a decent meal.
Cami hadn’t returned home, and it was almost nine o’clock. I wouldn’t know because my phone’s busted, but at least we had a clock on the wall and one in the kitchen. I cooked two chicken breasts seasoned with lemon pepper as garlic, mashed potatoes, and spinach. I grabbed my chicken breast and left the other for Cami if she ever decides to eat. I ambled over to the couch and flipped to Netflix as I watched Riverdale.
I ate slowly as I watched the show and heard the doorbell ring. I paused the show and got up to answer it. As I opened it still pissed my phone, it was him... Oliver.
"May I come in?" he says as I invite him in.
"What are you doing here, Oliver?" I said in a soft tone.
Chapter. 3
Oliver was here to tell me how sorry he was the other day and how embarrassed I must have been laying in some strangers’ bed the next morning. I forgave him and told him he shouldn’t be the one apologizing, that it was my fault for getting drunk and embarrassing myself. Cami came home the next morning and saw me asleep in my room she didn’t want to wake me; so, she left to tend to her needs and get ready for work. While in my slumber I couldn’t get that man out of my mind. He seemed to be everywhere I went. I still was mad at him for busting my phone, and my ruining my paintings, but I digress. When I awoke, it was noon, and Cami was nowhere to be found.
I grabbed my sketch pad and drew the man I had seen weeks before the incident, and during our encounter of when we bumped into each other. He had a strong jawline and beautiful eyes. Dark-grey eyes that engraved the back of your mind and have you swoon head over heels for him. He had a little facial hair around his mouth that shaped him perfectly, and he seemed to work out a lot like a lot.
His skin tone was darker than most males. Smooth like dark rich chocolate the kind that makes your mouth water. He had dreadlocks but pulled back with a headband for support. His muscles were thick, and they glistened from the reflection of the sun. He was tall but slim. He seemed to have a lot of money or just come from a good background, either way, his smile said a lot about him.
This man was kind, sweet, gentle and his body felt like you are being wrapped up in silk. Soft, smooth skin that I bet drove the women crazy especially me. I finished the sketch as I looked at it. I only drew his face. He looked like a handsome god and me his loyal subject. If just I knew your name. I thought as I admired the sketch some more.
Weeks passed, and Oliver and I started hanging out more. He’s such a gentleman. We hung out more than Cami, and I ever have since she’s with Demetrius most nights. I don’t know what Camille sees in him. He’s a prick if you ask me and he’s unfaithful; but would Cami care, no because she thinks she’s in love. Oliver came over one night as we watched something on Netflix as I sat next to him drawing on my pad. He glanced over and saw me pull him. He licked his lips as I saw him take a peak of what I was doing.
I got up to go to my room to place my sketch pad down as he followed me. The TV was still on as he moved closer to me. His hand touched my lower back. I tensed up as my heart began to beat fast as he slowly kissed the crease of my neck. I sighed deeply as his hands wrapped around my waist.
"Y-Yes..." I moaned as he held me tighter.
He let go as I turned around and faced him. He said my name as I took a breath and exhaled. He kept repeating my name as I realized I was in a trance. I had zoned out imagining Oliver touching, wrapping his arms around me as he kissed the crease of my neck; and I melt in his arms. I don’t know what was happening to me as I came to. We returned to the living room and finished the movie. Not too long after, Oliver fell asleep on the couch as I in his arms. Cami returned home with Demetrius around two o’clock in the morning she saw Oliver, and I passed out with the TV on, and the two of them quietly tiptoed to her room to well you know have sex.
Moans and grunting awakened us. Oliver woke up first as he jumped up and rubbed his eyes. I was then startled by Oliver’s jump and heard loud sexual noises coming from Camille’s room. We both laughed as I got up and went to the kitchen to get some water. Oliver looked at his phone and walked over to where I was and saw my phone on the counter. He picked it up and examined it while making a face. I looked down at my paintings that were washed away by the rain. I was disappointed that I couldn’t paint anymore since everything was destroyed. I sighed and led Oliver to the door as he left.
Cami and Demetrius went at it all night long which meant I didn’t get a bit of sleep. I drew the rest of the night until five o’clock the next morning. Demetrius left, and I finally got some sleep. Cami had a day off, so she went to see Penelope who was working a double shift. It was Tuesday, and I usually go on my runs to clear my head. I took my shower and got dressed in my workout gear and tied my hair back and ran two miles. I technically run a mile, but today was one of those days. I plugged my MP3 mini pod in my ears as I stretched out my muscles before I ran. I saw only a few people running as the temperature was just right. Some leaves were falling and rumbling around the park as I saw this mother breastfeeding her newborn on the bench. I tied my hair up once again as it kept falling apart as I thought to myself I need a new look and fast.
A man ran past me as I almost fell. He turned around running back as I recognized who it was. I sped up slowly trying to clear my mind as he ran beside me and smiled. I wanted to pay him no mind as he was distracting me from the run. I turned my music all the way up and ran a little further up. He ran next to me the whole way during a smile. I glanced at him as he waited for me to respond.
"Can I help you?" I said, sounding agitated.
He stopped me halfway into my run and placed his hands on his hip. I jogged in place trying to get passed him. He ran after me and wouldn’t stop bothering me until I said something. The music in my ear blocked out what he was saying as he kept talking. I don’t know what it is he wants, or why he’s bothering me, but it was getting creepy not to mention how uncomfortable he made me feel. People stared at us as we were the only two people left on the track. I stopped at the bench to take a few breaths and what I hoped to be a break. He finished and jogged in place. The sun beamed in my direction as I looked closely at the man blocking my path. I didn’t know what he wanted, so I tried my best to ignore him. After two minutes I got up and jogged over to the water fountain for a drink. The man followed me as I stood up and wiped my mouth.
"What is it? I voiced as the man called me a freak as he winked one eye and blew me a kiss as he jogged away. I grew disgusted as I rolled my eyes and called him a pervert. I heard a familiar voice as he crept up behind me. It was him. He has on his workout gear, and his hair pulled back in a ponytail. He took out his water bottle and took a sip. Seeing this man take a sip of water made me wet as his lips wrapped around the rim, and you could see his head tip back as rain poured down his throat. I looked away as he put the top back on.
"Are you alright miss?" He says smoothly as he licks his lips.
I looked up at him placing my hand on my hips as the sun beamed my eyes. I blocked it as I covered my hand over my face and took a few breaths.
"We have to stop meeting like this." He says while jogging in place.
I smirked at him slightly as I scratched the top of my head. I didn’t say anything as I stared him up and down. He waved his hand in front of my face as I came to. I felt tense and violated at the same time as I thought a bunch of people stare in our direction. About an hour passed and it was starting to get dark. I breathed through my nose and exhaled as I grew nervous. Oliver was on my mind as I thought of him. I couldn’t get him off my mind. I was stressed out from today, and I needed a distraction and bad. The gentleman walked me to my apartment as made small talk.
"Thanks," I said to him as I asked for his name. He giggled under his breath and looked at me.
"How rude of me, I’m Maxwell Roseman," he says as he shakes my hand and kisses the front of my palm.
I had chills that exploded everywhere from the inside of my body and down my thighs. "I’m sorry about the other day," he says as he asks for my name. I smile while brushing my hair out my face.
"Harlee, but everyone calls me Queenie; Nice to meet you, Maxwell," I said with a smile.
I felt the urge to kiss him; so, I did I kissed him. I know I shouldn’t have, but I did. I couldn’t help myself. I grabbed his face as I got on my tiptoes as our lips touched. "What was I doing, Stop Queenie, this is insane" his lips were so soft. Our lips parted as we just stood there. He didn’t say anything as we just stared at each other. Silence filled the air as he didn’t have anything to say. It felt like my lungs were filled with water and I am trying to breathe for air. He touched the top of his forehead as he thought about what to say. I stood there clueless and speechless. "What was I thinking? Why Queenie?" I had these questions from my mind as he stepped closer. Our bodies almost touched as I could feel his breath on my neck. This man sends chills down my spine and tingles between my thighs."
His eyes were all I focused on as he lifted my chin and kissed me slowly. I felt it in my toes as they curled. The butterflies in my stomach proliferated as he slowly touched my arm rubbing upward and then wrapped his arm around my body pulling me in. I grasped onto his biceps as he backed me against the door. His lips were pressed against mine for what I felt like ten minutes, but it was five. He then used his other hand and grabbed my ass with a firm grip and grunted as our lips parted. He smiled and jogged the opposite direction of where we walked as I stood there smelly from my run and blown away by that kiss. I touch my bottom lip with my fingers as I turn the doorknob with my free hand and slowly back up in the apartment where Camille was waiting for me.
"Where have you been miss?" she says roaringly. I look at her as I rolled my eyes walking my way to the bathroom to take a shower. I turned on the water loud enough to block out Camille’s big ass as she throws her hands in the air being all dramatic and such. I stepped in as the hot steamy water hit my face as I ran my fingers back through my hair as I felt more relaxed than ever. I can’t believe I just kissed him. I do things without thinking about the consequences. Cami was furious with me once I got done. I wrapped the towel around me as I saw the anger in her eyes.
"I can’t believe you haven’t answered any of my calls or text!" she yelled as she paced back and forth in the living room giving me that stare. That’s what she’s upset about because I didn’t answer her calls and texts. I mean, does she not see my busted phone laying on this kitchen counter. It’s been there for what seemed like weeks. She must be crazy or something. I rolled my eyes as I held on to my towel that was about to drop to the floor as I grabbed my phone and showed it to her while explaining why I couldn’t reply to her messages. She soon calmed down and felt like a complete jackass for the simple fact she didn’t know anything about that. I was fed up with Camille and her bull that I walked away upset.
"S-Sorry," she says faintly.
I slammed my door hard as I walked to put on my pajamas. I was disgusted with Cami and more disgusted with myself and how I’ve been behaving. I have two handsome guys that I can’t seem to take my mind off while trying to get my life together. Rent was due in two days, and I didn’t have enough to pay half. I needed something; anything that would help me in my time of struggle. As I stepped into my shorts and tied two pigtails on each side of my head, I thought of him again to help me go to sleep. I laid up in bed drawing him back, but this full-time body naked with me in his arms as he wraps me tightly around my leg propped up against his waist as our lips almost touch. I named it: Rose of Silk.
I couldn’t sleep for I was tossing and turning all through the night. It felt cold in my room as it seemed the window was down. I sat up minutes later looking out the window and looked up at the moon. It was full and glowed so beautifully. I couldn’t help myself but saw it, and it’s surroundings. Not too long after, Camille knocked on my door and quietly walked in with her night attire. She had her hair braided in one large braid as she wore her bunny slippers. She sat at the edge of my bed as I paid her no mind. I focused on the trees and the shadows as I shaded them in last. She called out to me, but I ignored her because it seems to me she only cares when it’s convenient for her and nobody else. She tried making different gestures to get me to break my focus on drawing the moon, but I wouldn’t budge until I saw how desperate she had become.
She said she was sorry as I listened to her while finishing up my drawing. I placed it down on my nightstand and looked at her with a straight face. I couldn’t stay mad at Camille even if I tried to. The longest we went without talking was a month, and that killed me. I soon forgave her, and we hugged it out. She was there when I needed her, and I couldn’t let what we have as friends go. We talked about how our days were the previous night as she still tried to convince me to work at the Bumblebee Burger Shack as I told her a million times I wasn’t interested. I would have to be desperate and willing to put in that many hours to get paid $13 an hour biweekly pay to work for them; plus, the uniforms suck, and they are disrespectful to women everywhere.
We talked and laughed until the sun came up and fell asleep in my room. Sadly, Cami had to work and do other things. Once she got dressed and left, I slept a little longer. When I woke I had a package at the front addressed to me and a letter that read:
"Sorry about the other day. I felt awful ruining your phone, so I hope you can forgive me. I enjoyed the conversation we had yesterday, and I hope we meet again sometime real soon. You are spontaneous and wild that’s what I like about you, and I don’t even know you, but I’d want to.
P.S. don’t forget I forgot about that kiss you planted on me."
Luv, Maxwell T. Roseman
I finished the letter as I opened it up it was a new phone. It was the iPhone X., along with his contact information as my old information as well and inside of that were new paint brushes and canvases. I was excited and felt like my life was about to change, and boy did it. I closed the door behind me and grabbed my stuff including my new paint set and easel. I painted the remainder of the day as I was too excited about my new gear. I turned on the radio we had stashed away somewhere as I tried to find a clear enough station to listen to and danced to the beat swaying my hips to the side. I was in such a good mood I took off my bottoms and hopped in my laced undergarment.
I painted the first thing that popped into my mind, and that was a little girl and her parents sitting under a tree having a picnic; then my phone rang. The name: Maxwell.
"H-Hello," I said softly.
"Queenie, nice to finally hear your voice," he says calmly.
Chapter. 4
November; 12th
God, I hate birthdays, I mean what’s the point. I get that it’s the day we’re born hence the name BIRTH in the title, and it last twenty-four hours but it’s just a day. That’s all it is. People seem to go all out on their birthdays, trying to make that day special for them every year like somethings going to change magically or something, and come morning it’s back to the basics. When you’re a little kid; birthdays to them seem to last a whole week or more, as a teen all they ever cared for was partying, and turning up; but between the ages, 18-25 they care about getting lit, or drinking so much to where they can’t remember what day it is. It’s a little bit too much if you ask me.
When I was four years old: on my birthday my parents would take time off work and spend time with me. My dad would spend all day in the backyard setting up balloons and party streamers as my mom she’d spend time in the kitchen baking the cake and making sure everything was perfect. As I grew older things started to change. My mom’s a chef, and she’d spend most of her days at the restaurant making sure the orders are ready and right. She’s a little bit of a perfectionist as well, and she doesn’t play around when it comes to food. My dad was a labor construction worker at various sites, but because of budget cuts he was let go. He spends most of his days at home watching TV and getting drunk while mom was the breadwinner bringing in most of the money.
My parents were married for twelve years, and I remember when I was seven they’d argue more and by the time I was thirteen they spat up and got a divorce. My mom wouldn’t settle for a man who’d drink his life away. My dad was devastated about the divorce and fell into a deep depression shortly after. At the age of fifteen I fell into drugs, and alcohol; that’s how I got the nickname Queenie. I soon became an alcoholic a little bit over a year ago. My mom eventually remarried a lawyer named Noah he’s decent I guess. I now have two stepbrothers; Jacob and Daniel. They’re fourteen now, and the cutest little things on the planet. I lived with my mom after the divorce but as soon as she found my stash of drugs she kicked me out.
I called Camille to ask her if it was alright if I come live with her, and she was excited to hear from me that she insisted I go and stay with her. I’ve been living with her for a while now, and she helped me stay clean. She introduced me to the love of art. College was out of the question for me because with everything going on I don’t think I have the time. Cami goes to school and then work right after while I stay home and draw. On my sixteenth birthday, I didn’t do much but stay in my room and pull. Cami and I went out after, but it was nothing serious. I hated my birthday because nothing ever seems to turn out the way I want them to. My seventh birthday went by fast. All I remember is I stayed in my room and drank. I soon passed out and slept through it. Cami says that’s not what happened, but something tells me this year was going to be different.
My alarm awakened me on my phone as I sat up rubbing my eyes as I yawned. The time read 7:45 am and a little reminder that today’s my birthday. "Great," I said to myself as I got out of bed and got dressed. I placed on my boots as I looked outside and saw snow. It never snowed on my birthday before. Sure, it gets cold but never storms. I grabbed my phone and looked through my contacts when I received a message from Noah saying happy birthday and a few others from my aunts and uncles. I smiled as I poured me a bowl of cereal.
Another text popped up; I was replying to over twenty books, and it was Oliver who sent me a cute video of a kitten in what seemed like a real cake; but it was fake of course as it popped out of it with its hands in the air with a "Happy Birthday Queenie" all in lights as it sang. I must have played it over a hundred times as it made me smile. I replied to him with a smiley face as I walked over to the couch with my phone and bowl of cereal in hand.
Cami came out of her room with her hair all messed up and in pajamas as she rubbed the crust out her eyes. She didn’t see me on the couch or what I was wearing until she walked back to her room after grabbing something from the refrigerator. Her eyes widened as she ran over to me as I got up to put my bowl away. She screamed happy birthday as she hugged me. She needed a shower badly as I turned up my nose at her and tilted my head away from her. My phone was in my back pocket as it almost slipped. She let go of me and invaded my space once again.
I placed my phone on the counter as she grabbed it. Her eyes widened again and examined it by looking at it as a kid in a candy store on a sugar high. I tried catching it from her as she moved around with it still in hand. "Camille, come on give it back," I said to her as I begged for it back. She ignored me still holding it as she unlocked my passcode easily. I called out to her as she ran to her room. I ran after her as she sat on her bed. I grabbed my phone from her as I was on top of her. She laughed a little as I got off her. I sat on the edge as I stared at her.
Another messaged appeared from Maxwell as it read "Happy Birthday" with a smiley face. How did he know it was my birthday today? I don’t even remember telling him neither, but I paid it no mind as I replied to his message. I looked around Camille’s room as it looked like a princess room except there wasn’t all that pink and girly like most princess rooms.
"Who was that," Cami says as she hops off the bed and walks over to her dresser. She goes through her clothes and pulls out her undergarments a blue lace bra and set panties to match. She places them on the bed as she walks over to her walk-in closet that was filled with dresses, T-Shirts, Blouses, her work uniform, boots and lots and lots of designer shoes. She looked through her clothes and pulled out one of her work uniforms and placed it next to her underwear.
I looked at her dresser and looked at myself in the mirror as Cami grabbed her underwear and walked into the bathroom that was connected to her room and took a shower. She repeated her question to me as she stripped out her nightwear. I turned my head and saw her leave the door to her bathroom open a little as I heard the water running. Her cell phone went off as text appeared of Demetrius. It said the usual bull of someone who was unfaithful. I glanced at it as my phone rang. It was from Oliver.
I stepped out of Camille’s room and answered the phone. It was good to hear his voice. I missed him, and it brought a smile to my face. We talked for five minutes as I hung up. Cami was in the shower for a while as I grabbed my sketch pad and drew the snow and cars passing by. I invited Oliver over to hang a little while Camille went to work. He texts me letting me know he’d be here in five. I replied with an okay and went back to drawing. Cami came out of her room and saw me sitting on the couch with my feet in a meditation stance and handed me a black box with a ribbon on it. I looked at her then the table as I take it from her. She adjusted her uniform that made my eyes flutter in disgust and made sure her hair wasn’t messy.
"What’s this?" I said sounding curious.
"Open it up, and find out silly," she said as she giggles. She applies her lip balm slow as I give a strange smirk.
"It’s your birthday gift Queenie," she says as she grabs her cell phone from her room.
"I know that Cami; but what IS IT!" I announced.
"Just open it!" sounding all excited.
I rolled my eyes and sighed as I opened it. It was a silver bracelet with little variety of trinkets surrounding it and a medium sized novelty the shape of a paintbrush. She gestured me to flip it over as I saw my name engraved on the back of it in fancy lettering. "Queenie Ramirez"
I turned to her and hugged her tight as I began to cry. She was glad to see me smile since my parents split. I thanked her as she was running late for work. She grabbed the last of her items and headed towards the door. Oliver came over right after Camille left. He surprised me with a birthday lunch and bought a mini cupcake to celebrate. Oliver cooked the food at my apartment as I laid back and watched him flip the patties on our burgers. He rolled up his sleeves all the way up to his elbows and carried two plates over. We ate and watched movies on Netflix and the day went by fast. I had an incoming call on my phone, and it was my mother.
I haven’t heard from my mother since she kicked me out. I excused myself from Oliver as I walked to my room. I closed the door behind me slightly as I answered the call. My mother sounded frantic, about what I wasn’t sure, but she wished me a happy birthday and wanted to see how I was doing. She seemed worried about me I could tell by the many breaths she took when she talked to me. I told her I was doing fine, and everything was well. I continued talking to my mother as she updated me on how Jacob and Daniel were doing while Oliver opened the door with my back turned and watched me as I pulled the hair behind my ear and smiled as he saw how happy I was talking on the phone. I glanced over and saw Oliver as I began to feel embarrassed. Mother kept talking as I tried to get her off the phone. The sun beamed through my room as it reflected on Oliver’s glasses and as I gazed at him, his eyes couldn’t be bluer.
They shimmered and glistened as he smiled and sat on the edge of my bed. I got off the phone with my mother and looked at my phone the read: 7:35 pm. Oliver was making me want him by the way he stared at me. He picked up my sketch pad and skimmed through my artwork slowly. I sat on the bed next to him as I rested my head on his shoulder. He smelled like cinnamon and apple pie. The kind grandmother makes on a Sunday afternoon. He saw the drawing of him and talked about his childhood. I wanted him to take me. I was twenty-six now and wanted to be touched so badly by him. I was just scared to make my move. Oliver left a few minutes later as he hugged me tightly then went.
Cami came home right after all upset and sad because she found Demetrius in the arms of another woman. I hugged her as we walked over to the refrigerator to grab Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. She ate the whole pint as I caught one for myself. She had tears running down her cheeks, and her mascara was running. We sat on the couch as I listened to her cry and talked shit about him. Apart of me felt good because I knew all along he was a cheater and that Camille was going to get hurt. I hate seeing Camille all sad. The last time she was like this was her sophomore year.
She dated a boy named Michael Kaminski; who cheated on her with Sara from shop class. I was a freshman when this happened, and Michael claimed he never cheated then try to get with me but seeing my best friend like this in her time of need she needs me to be supportive of her. She doesn’t need an "I told you so." I stayed with her until she felt sleepy. She went off to sleep as I went to my room and drew a little. After I finished, I was still up. The time read: 10:09 pm and I wasn’t tired, so I grabbed my journal from my room as I wrote a few things and drew small descriptions of Oliver’s face; especially his eyes. "so blue." They were the color of the sky. The detail was so refined and structure so pure I couldn’t help but get lost in them. I started to doze off when I had a call come in; it was Maxwell.
"Hello, beautiful," he says calmly.
"Maxwell, hello, how may I help you this evening?" I said sweetly.
He giggled and told me to get dressed for he was taking me out to dinner. I got up and looked around my room and in my closet for I had nothing to wear. He told me not to worry about it for he had my outfit waiting for me in the limo. "LIMO!" I said surprisingly. I knew he had money, but enough to afford a limo and dinner. I thought about it a little more as he waited for me to speak. I accepted his offer and went downstairs where he was waiting for me. I walked across the street as he stared me in the eyes.
There he was handsome as ever. He smiled at me and saw my beauty reflect from the street lights. I licked my lips as I had nothing to say. He stood there in a suit and tied with very expensive cologne, and his hair was down braided down his back. He had his hand on the handle as he opened it and smiled. I was nervous as our palms touched.
"After you Miss," he says with a smile.
I stepped inside and viewed the limo. I widened my eyes and saw how beautiful it looked. The dress that I was going to wear sat beside me as I admired the lace. He stepped in moments later and closed the car door as the diver drove off.
I looked at Maxwell as he stared straight ahead. There was a divider in the limo as I got dressed. The dress was olive green, spaghetti straps, that made a V shape down to my chest. It was long that draped across the floor and it fit my body perfectly. I had a shawl to cover my back as it was backless. I had on flats that suited my tiny feet. I applied my dark plum lipstick and touched it up with clear lip gloss as it made my lips pop more. I decided to have my hair down but pinned the sides up as my bangs covered my forehead a little. The divider disappeared as he stared at my beautiful. Well, everything. I had curves that appeared. Nonetheless, Maxwell behaved like a gentleman. If Oliver were here he’d rip this off of me in a split second, no hesitation I’m pretty sure Maxwell wanted to do the same.
He smiled at me as he began to grow nervous. I moved closer to him as I crossed my legs one on top of the other. I started to take small breaths as I too, grew nervous. What was he thinking? I needed to know. He glanced over at me as I had my hand on the other placed gracefully on my lap. He poured himself a glass of Chardonnay and asked if I wanted any. I nodded as he poured me a glass. He handed it to me as I tilted my head back and drank it all. I felt embarrassed. He looked at me as if I had lost my mind, and I have. He poured me another and gave it to me.
"Are you always this nervous around me," he said as my lip touched the rim of the glass.
I shook my head no; as we struck up a convention. We talked about my love for art and what it means to me. I merely; don’t know I love it. I looked out the window as it appeared we weren’t in Queens anymore we were in North Hills. I’ve never been on this side of New York before; especially at night. It was so pretty I couldn’t take my eyes off of it.
"You look ravishing Queenie," he says as he looks me in the eyes.
"Thank you, Mr. Roseman," I said as I lick my lips.
The driver continued to dive as I looked out the window. I didn’t know where we’re going, but I liked being treated like a princess even if it was just for a day.
Chapter. 5
The driver pulled up to the restaurant as Maxwell opened the car door and waiting for me to get out. I held on to my dress and proceeded to step out. Maxwell grabbed ahold of my hand and closed the door behind me. My eyes widened as I stared at the restaurant. There must have been over a dozen people in there. Maxwell smiled at the limo diver as he drove off. I held on to his arm as I began to feel nervous about going in with him. "Why did I agree to this," I thought as people were staring at us as we got our booth. I felt queasy as I felt like I was about to throw up. The waitress came by with two glasses and a pitcher full of water. I glanced at her name tag that read: Margaret. I poured me a cup and drank it down as fast as I could. Maxwell took off his coat and sat across from me. He could tell I wasn’t used to all this fancy glamour stuff. He touched my hand as he gave me a look while I was still drinking the water. My face felt heated as I moved it. I don’t know what was wrong with me. He picked up his menu at the edge of the table as I did the same. I covered my face with it as if I was looking through it. Not paying attention I glanced through it and was surprised by the prices.
"Too expensive..." I thought as I zoned out the music that played through the restaurant.
Maxwell called out to me a few times as the waitress came back around. He told the waitress to bring the most expensive bottle they had to offer as I skimmed the menu some more. She nodded and left. She returned minutes later and placed it in the bin. She pulled out her pad as she took our order. Maxwell ordered a Salisbury steak with mash potatoes and greens for the sides. She wrote it down and turned to me. I didn’t know what to order, so I got fish squeezed with fresh lemon pepper and garlic. She wrote down my order and walked away.
"Queenie, what seems to be the problem?" he says as he takes a glass from the bin along with the bottle and pours our drinks. He hands it to me as I stare at him and make a tiny sip. As it hits the tip of my tongue, I noticed he ordered the same drink that we had in the limo. I took another sip as he tapped his fingers on the table.
"S-Sorry Mr. Rose-" I say as he puts up his hand.
"Call me Maxwell, Queenie," he says as he insisted.
I shook my head and took another sip of the Chardonnay. He studied my form as I listened to the music play. I looked around the restaurant as many people were chatting among themselves. I didn’t see any stereos hooked up indicating there was music playing; instead, there was a senior man in his fifties playing the piano gracefully and another man singing on the mic. He was singing the blues and singing like he has all his life. A few people got up and placed a couple of dollars in the tip jar he had on display. From where I was sitting it seemed like he was in business his tip jar was half full.
The waitress came back around, but this time with our food. She placed down mine first then his as the plate was hot and steamy. She pulled back her hair behind her ear and smiled then asked if we needed anything else. I politely shook my head no as Maxwell did the same. She walked away, and that’s when the nerves came rushing back. I grabbed my water as he pulled it way. I looked down at my food as it looked delicious. I couldn’t seem to keep my composure around him as he still held my hand.
"Relax Queenie, breathe," he says in a calm tone of voice.
I looked at him as we ate our food. He took a bite of his steak as his lips wrapped around the fork. I started to squirm in my seat for I had to use the restroom. I shouldn’t have drunk all that water" I thought as I felt uncomfortable. I quickly got up quietly and headed towards the bathroom. By the time I came back there, he was with one dessert and my food still untouched. I sat back down feeling humiliated and ashamed for I was making a complete fool of myself. I ate my food slowly as I enjoyed every bite. Maxwell watched me as the lights above us shined through as I smiled sideways at him. The waitress came back and took my plate for I barely ate anything.
Maxwell placed the desert in the middle of us and handed me a spoon. I looked at my phone and my birthday was almost over. The time read: 11:56. Four more minutes left I thought to myself as I dug my spoon into the desert and placed it in my mouth. I closed my eyes as they began to flutter. I licked my lips as he watched me and ate. He started to get a call a few minutes later as we talked a while longer and ignored it. It was 11:58 pm and I felt like my life was about to change after tonight.
"Happy Birthday Queenie," he says as he raised his glass up and took his last sip.
I began to shy away as my cheeks started to blush. My birthday was over, and so was our night. Maxwell paid for the bill as we left the restaurant. The limo came around as we stepped inside. The limo ride was awkward as we didn’t talk. He gestured the driver to put up the visor as I began to feel uncomfortable for the fifth time in a row. We sat across from one another as I tried not to pay attention to him. He slowly pulled me closer to him as our bodies touched. My dress was able to come off at the bottom as the actual length hugged my thighs.
He wrapped his masculine hands around my waist as I didn’t know what to do. My body had a mind of its own. I kept moving as he admires me. I had goosebumps rush through me as he pulled my hair behind my ear as he rested his palm on my face. I tried to keep calm as he rubbed my thighs. I felt a tingling sensation as I held my breath trying not to moan. I couldn’t help myself as I let out a sigh. He squeezed me tight as I held onto his shoulders. My body felt warm against his as he kissed my neck. I tilted my head back as I enjoyed receiving pleasure. This man felt so good I didn’t want him to stop. Apart of me felt scared because it’s like I had this urge inside of me that was ready to explode.
He stopped and looked at me as my hands moved up and down on his chest. He pulled out a box with a red bow on it and handed it to me. I smiled as I took it and slowly opened it. It was a silver necklace with my nickname in fancy lettering. I put my hand over my mouth as I admired its craftsmanship and detail.
"It’s beautiful..." I said as I began to cry. He took the necklace out the box and put it around my neck.
"You’re beautiful, Queenie," he says as we gaze into each other’s eyes. He kissed me a little as the limo driver whose real name is Tod hit a speed bump, and I pushed him back with our lips pressed together. I closed my eyes to capture every moment. His lips were so soft like silk. I couldn’t stop. He pulled me back and shook his head for he told me my first time should be unique.
"How’d you know I was a virgin?" I said.
"I sense it in your behavior," he says with a smirk.
I got off him and straightened out my dress as the limo stopped in front of my apartment. Maxwell got out and walked me to the door. He kissed me on my lips firmly as I headed inside and went to sleep.
Since then, everything changed. Maxwell picked me up and took me almost everywhere and anywhere around New York. We went shopping; we went out for dinners sometime lunches even a few drinks now and then. I had a new glow; style, and different personality. Cami hardly noticed me coming in late at night since she mopes around in her pajamas, hair all messy, smelling like molded cheese wrapped up in mystery meat from the late fifties left underneath the cupboard in a school cafeteria watching "The Notebook" for the tenth week in the row. I paid her no mind as she would sit on the couch eating a pint of ice cream yelling at the TV. Her mood changed, and she lost a lot of weight. What was happening? I began to worry about her.
Cami barely went to work anymore. I went into her room once before, and it was depressing to see her in that state. She stayed in bed, and I stayed with her. I text Maxwell to let him know that we were going to have to meet for coffee some other time and that my Cami needed me. He understood, and we achieved that following Thursday by the bay. She loved that I was happy, and I had a life not that I didn’t before, but she noticed a changed. I convinced her to go back to work and told her everything would be fine.
Thursday came around, and Maxwell dropped me off; he somewhat had this strange feeling that something wasn’t right, so he walked me to my door and noticed something was off. The door was jammed shut, and Cami was hurt. Looking through the peephole, she was laying on the floor with pills scattered everywhere. I stepped back as he busted the door down with his foot and ran to her rescue. Our neighbors came out to see what happened. I covered my mouth as Maxwell carried her in his arms. Oliver soon came out minutes later and ran to me as I hugged him. Mr. Bernstein who lived two doors down called for help as the ambulance was on its way. I rode with Oliver as he sped down the streets following the ambulance with Maxwell and Cami inside. Once at the hospital I began to cry. Maxwell was waiting in the waiting room as Cami was being admitted in. Oliver was there as he also expected for me. He took a good look at Maxwell and from the sight of things those two didn’t get along.
My mind was racing. I felt dizzy and disgusted with these two men arguing over me I left the hospital and cried on the steps. Oliver tried to follow behind as Maxwell beat him to the punch. Maxwell sat on the steps beside me as I hung my head low not looking up at him. It was cold as he took off his jacket and swung it around me. I buried my face in my hands as I cried out more sounding awful. I was worried and afraid I was going to lose my best friend. He moved in a little closer to my legs over him as he rocked me back and forth to calm me down. I laid my head on his chest as none of us spoke a word. Oliver had left out the back because he figured I wouldn’t want to see him. He crossed my mind while being comforted by Mr. Roseman. Right about now I would want to drink to forget this day hadn’t happened. The sun was being to set as we made our way back inside. I folded my arms as I kept my head down. Maxwell sat with me as we waited for an update.
Two hours later the doctor came back with an update on Camille. He had told us that she took a drug called Oxycodone to knock herself out because she wanted to sleep. He said to us that they had to pump her stomach because she had passed out from lack of nutrients in her body. They also had to keep her there for observation for the next couple of days and notify her parents, then a bunch of medical stuff I couldn’t understand. Maxwell understood what he was saying and told me that Camille was suffering from depression. The doctor smiled at us and walked away as I went and checked on her. I was scared to go alone, so Maxwell stayed by the side. He waited by the door as I walked in quietly and saw Camille hooked up to a bunch of wires and IV that looked scary. I stood at the foot of the bed as there was a nurse in pink scrubs who was checking her vitals. Her back was turned to me as she then recognized me watching Camille.
The nurse’s name was Carissa as she told me Camille was resting, but she could hear me. She left shortly after as Maxwell peaked inside to check on me. My body had frozen up still like a statue. It was like I wasn’t human. I felt my world shift a whole 360 when I saw Cami just lay there. Sure, she was breathing, but with tubes and more tubes to keep her like... like; as a vegetable. I couldn’t bare but see her like this. The doctor said she could have died if Maxwell hadn’t gotten to her in time. I started to cry hysterically as I couldn’t feel my hands, feet, nor toes. My face was filled with tears as I moaned loudly Maxwell swooped me in his arms as he too felt useless. There was nothing that could make this better not even being held by him.
Camille’s dad showed up along with her little sister Lillian as I hugged them both as Maxwell took me home. He called for his driver to bring a car as we waited at the bus stop. Tod came minutes later as we got in the car he drove off. I didn’t say much as I looked out the car window. Maxwell didn’t speak a word the whole ride as he too looked out the car window on his side. His phone kept vibrating as multiple calls came in from a woman. He ignored it and glanced over at me as I looked down at his hand. I noticed he didn’t wear a ring indicating he was married, so I paid it no mind. All I could think about was Camille and if she was going to make it past the night. I placed my hand on my forehead as I sighed and laid my head on Mr. Roseman’s shoulder. He pulled me in closer as he kissed my forehead.
Tod, the driver, had passed the street my apartment was on and headed down a road that looked unfamiliar to me. I didn’t know where I was being taken as Maxwell looked at me and told me he had taken me to a hotel for a few nights until I felt better at sleeping in my apartment. I didn’t like it nor was it cleaver for him to not notify me ahead of time. I kept quiet as my mind kept racing with so many thoughts and questions. My cell went off, and it was Oliver checking in on me to see if I was alright. I ignored him and Maxwell the entire ride.
Tod pulled up to "Hampton Inn" as Maxwell, and I got out the car. I folded my arms and stood on the sidewalk as Tod handed Maxwell my bags along with his. The wind blew in my face as it began to get colder at night. We walked in together with our bags in hand as Tod waved us goodbye. Maxwell kept calm as I was falling apart from the inside out. He asked the lady at the front desk whose name was Kim for the king suite as she looked at us and clicked her teeth at me.
"That’ll be $1500 please," she says as she pops her chewing gum.
My eyes widened as Maxwell pulled out his wallet and told the lady to charge it to his account.
Kim hands him the room key and goes about her business. Reading a magazine and popping her gum all crazy like. I just wanted to sleep. It was past nine o’clock, and after the event I just had I just wanted to sleep it off and keep Camille in my prayers. We took the elevator to the fourth floor as we didn’t say much towards the room. The elevator dings and we get off as we walk down the hall to room 428. He slides the key in and opens it letting me pass through. The room looked gorgeous; the only problem was there was one bed.
Maxwell closed the door behind him as he came inside while texting. He had his eyes glued to that thing like it was his life or something. I placed my bag down beside me as I stared into blank space. I felt his firm hand from my side as the bulge in his jeans said otherwise. He called out to me a few times as I ignored him and just was speechless. I finally came to as I looked at him like he was nuts. My body felt warm, and I had knots in my stomach that felt like stones dragging me down to the bottom of the water.
"Queenie talks to me," he says calmly.
I paid him no mind as I studied the room more. I, on the other hand, started growing agitated and frustrated with him for I thought he understood I wasn’t ready. I’ve discussed with Maxwell that I wasn’t prepared for intercourse with him these past few months. Especially; not now considering the condition Camille was in.
"Queenie, if you’re worried about the bed; it’s big enough to where you have your side, and I have mine. I promise I won’t try anything with you. I respect you well enough to know that you’re not ready" he said as he stepped in closer to me. I backed away as I sat at the edge of the bed as he lifted my chin up and kissed me gently.
I pouted as I understood and got ready for bed in the bathroom. It’s been so long since I took a shower, I’m surprised I didn’t smell around him or if he ever noticed. I grabbed my bag and pulled out what I needed for the shower along with my nightwear and walked away giving a tease of my ass as I closed the door behind me. Maxwell stripped out of his clothes and placed them on the floor next to the window. I had the water running on hot as it made the shower glass steamy. I took off my clothes slowly as I thought about Maxwell in that way.
I stepped in wetting my hair first as I sighed seductively. The water hit my face next as I tilted my head back. I had my body shower with me along with my shampoo and conditioner. The water felt good on my body as the stress of the day melted down the drain.
I played music to fasten up my shower. "Baby, Baby, Baby" by TLC was playing as I kept a steady rhythm. I sang along loud enough Maxwell heard me. He smiled and shook his head as he turned on the TV. By the time I finished I put on my nightwear and headed to bed. Maxwell was on his side by the window. I tied my hair up in a bun and walked over to him giving him the eye. Just because I’m not ready to have sex with Maxwell yet; doesn’t mean I can still tease him. I placed my phone on the nightstand as it was charging and got in on my side. He pulled back the covers for me; that’s when I saw his eight-pack and began to feel that feeling in between my thighs. I got in bed and laid my head on these pillows that felt soft like clouds. There were two on each side, and it felt relaxing.
"Why do people call you Queenie," he said sounding curious.
I looked at him as the TV was still on and was quiet for two minutes.
"When my parents divorced, I fell into a deep depression and started using drugs. I dropped out of school, and a year after that I became alcoholic" I explained to him as I started to fidget with fingers. I felt nervous as I went into detail about my life; my chest felt tight, and I started to become sad just thinking about it. Maxwell stopped me as he lifted up my chin once more and saw how upset I was. He pulled me close to him as he rocked me. I cried a little as we fell asleep to the TV on.
Chapter. 6
The hotel stays with Maxwell were as expected as always. Except, we didn’t have sex, not that I wanted to it’s just he was kind, sweet, and a gentleman not your standard fuckboy, a hit it or quit it type, but a gentleman nonetheless. I’ve been seeing Maxwell a little bit over four months, and I’ve practically had dreams of touching this man in every possible way imaginable. He doesn’t seem to budge, and I’ve wanted him for weeks. He respects me, and I appreciate it, but now that I’m twenty-six he’s asking for it; for me to punish him in so many ways. I feel like I’m making a fool out of myself every time I touch him I lose my mind my heart beats uncomfortably fast it’s like I can’t breathe with no air.
We stayed in the hotel for six days which must have cost a fortune for him, but he seems not to care for it was his money. He remained silent on the drive back to my apartment. I started to believe I said or did something wrong to provoke him. He looked angry like something was eating him, but I couldn’t tell what. When he dropped me off, he gave me a side hug and sped to the car as I watched him leave. As I entered the apartment it was dark, cold, and sad knowing Camille wasn’t there and, in the hospital, drove me insanely crazy. I spent most days just watching movies, TV, the clock. I took a hot shower and text Maxwell before my head hit the pillow that was an hour and a half ago and no response. He started acting strangely after we left the hotel and it was starting to piss me off.
I caved in and got a job at the Bumblebee Burger Shack to help Camille with the rent. I hate wearing the uniform that objectifies women to its lowest standard of society. In other words, I have to wear an outfit that comes up to my thighs and a fluffy, frizzy top that’s black and yellow like a bee; along with my name tag and a stupid saying to brighten up their day as I greet them with a smile along with today’s special. I wouldn’t be so bothered by it if the uniforms for the women wouldn’t be so sexist and degrading. It makes me want to puke. The men at Bumblebee Burger wear what seems like a suit and tie when all it is; is nice slacks with a white or black dress buttoned shirt with their name tags. I don’t understand society nowadays. Maxwell, on the other hand, seems to love the uniform, and why would he’s a guy. A guy like him, of course, he’ll stoop to that level to get a rise out of me.
I came home from a long and hard days’ work and like I expected silence feels the air as I stand there scanning the room as I hope to feel Camille’s presence. I couldn’t hear or see her for it was yet another day alone at the apartment. My feet were killing me, and I needed to get out of these clothes. I felt like I had been violated; touched by so many people all kinds of people. It was disgusting. I stepped into the shower as the music continued to play on my phone. It repeatedly dinged over one of JT songs "Cry Me A River" I couldn’t focus for he was on my mind and I needed him. I stepped out of the shower with the towel wrapped around my wet body as I picked up my phone. It was a text from Maxwell.
Maxwell:
Open the door Queenie.
I went to my room as I put on my nightwear which was just a long T-Shirt as I put my hair in a messy bun. A few minutes later I got a call from Maxwell. I was afraid to answer it after a few days of not returning my calls or text, but I replied, and as I closed my eyes my heart began to race. It was good to hear his voice. He instructed me to walk to the door and stand there. I didn’t know what came over me, but I did. He told me to cup my breast hard and moan softly to him over the phone. I saw that it was him watching me through the peephole. We gazed at each other as he gave me another order. "Open the door, love," he says. I felt hesitant that I didn’t know what he was going to do. He chuckles as he licks his lips.
"Queenie, open the door. I’m not going to bite" he says as the sound of his soothing voice sends a tingle in between my legs.
I lick my lips slowly and close my eyes as he hears me breathe. He calls out to me as we watch each other. I could see his eyes shine through and get a little bit too excited as he licks his lips. I hang my head down low and chuckle. "You know you want to," he says sounding certain. My hand was on the doorknob as he studied my eyes and lips. I could tell his patience was running thin because I took forever to open the door. "What are you going to do to me if I don’t," I said sounding quite alluring. He gave me a look I’ve seen before in Oliver when he begs, and, so I caved.
I opened the door while still on the phone with him. He stepped into the apartment one foot after the other, wearing blue jeans, and a white T-Shirt while the phone close to his ear as he studied my body back up some more. He closed the door behind him as we stood in front of the living room/ kitchen. I tried to hang up the phone, but he stopped me and shook his head in disappointment.
"Don’t Queenie!" he muttered.
I placed the phone to my ear once more and spoke as we stared intensely into each other’s eyes.
"Why?" I said sounding curious.
"I want to hear your voice. It soothes me," he says with a side smirk.
I looked him in the eyes as I took in a couple of breaths and watched him as he circled me. He touched my shoulders as I felt his breath down the back of my neck. I could have sworn he could hear my heart rate increase as it felt like it was about to escape from my chest. I moaned softly as I closed my eyes and pictured what Maxwell would do to me.
I was scared at this moment; better yet, petrified. Once Maxwell came back around he hung up his phone as did I and placed it on the counter. I walked only a few inches away and did the same.
My body was feeling warm, and my fingers felt tingly for I wanted him. Suddenly, he came up behind me I felt the bulge in his jeans, and as my hand grazed it, I felt my body give in. He wrapped his masculine arms around me as I tilted my head back on his chest. He kissed my cheek and smiled as he rested his head on the crease of my neck.
"I bought you something" he whispered as he let go of me.
I turned around with a concerned look on my face as he stepped out to grab this big brown box with a white ribbon on it and hands it to me. I looked at it in amazement but was hesitant at the same time. He leaned in to kiss me as he grabbed my face and pressed his lips against mine. I fluttered my eyes as I gripped onto the box. My toes curled up tightly as I dropped the box on the floor as he brushed it to the side with his foot while our lips still pressed together.
I moaned softly as my thighs started to shake. He pulled me closer close enough to feel the bulge as I gasped. Our lips pulled apart as he looked at me. I couldn’t ask him it wouldn’t be right. Not now, it’s not the right time... I kept telling myself, but I wanted him inside me. I wanted Maxwell to explore parts of me that I don’t even know to exist. He stopped for just a moment to pick up the brown box that was pushed to the side. He handed it to me once again as I looked at it wondering what was inside.
"What is it?" I wondered.
Maxwell looked at me like I already didn’t know and smiled as he folded his hands. We walked over to the couch as I was still a little spacious. For all, I knew it could have been a bomb or code to unlock the safe to a top-secret agency, but Maxwell’s not that kind of guy. He’s smarter than to get caught up in some mess like that. Whatever, it was, I was shaking with anticipation and high anxiety of what it was as I unwrapped the bow and tore the paper. Maxwell stood on the couch as he rested his hands comfortably and waited patiently.
"You like?" he says as he walks around the couch and sits next to me.
My eyes widened as he had got me a white flare sundress and a leather jacket with my nickname on the back. I smiled widely as I embraced him and kissed him passionately. I stayed in his arms for a while as I listened to the beat of his steady heart. He held me close as we enjoyed the silence.
"Thanks, Maxwell for the dress and leather jacket," I said as I sat up and looked at him.
He touched the side of my face and nodded. It was almost midnight as I glanced at my phone and rushed to my room. Maxwell never stayed the night, but tonight was different. I grabbed my belongings and walked to my room to go to sleep. Maxwell insisted he’d sleep on the couch, so I brought him an extra pillow and blankets. When I returned, he had stripped down into his boxers and tied his hair up. Apart from me wanted to attack him and have my way with him on the cold floor as I handed him the materials. Our hands touched as we shared yet another gaze. My body was starting to feel this tingly feeling again as I suddenly pulled away. "Good night," he said as he kissed me on my forehead as we parted ways.
It was passed at two o’clock in the morning, and I couldn’t sleep. I had been tossing and turning ever since Camille’s been in the hospital. I had a lot on my mind including the fact that Maxwell looked extremely yummy to eat when he wears his boxers. I grunted for fifteen minutes trying to find a comfortable position, but that didn’t work. I sat up and turned on my light to draw. That usually helps me when I can’t sleep. A few moments later, I heard a knock on the door: it was Maxwell.
As I looked up and saw him staring at me drawing in my sketch pad, I began to feel butterflies. He smiled and walked towards me and sat on the edge of the bed. My heart was racing so fast I didn’t know what to say to him when he touched my hand.
"Couldn’t sleep either huh?" he says.
I looked up at him and nodded for I was tongue tied and nervous for the words in my head made sense, but if I try to talk they’d sound all jumbled and confusing. I closed my eyes to slow down the beating of my heart and took in a few deep breaths. He looks around the room and sees all the paintings and drawings I’ve done over the last four months and was impressed. He saw the one of him labeled "Rose of Silk" as he ran his fingers through it.
"You’re an outstanding artist Queenie; have you ever considered going back to school?" he says with a soft tone.
I lifted my head as our eyes met and shook my head no. The school was never part of the plan. I paint and draw for the fun of it. Camille’s the one who introduced me to the love of art. I did a little painting in high school before I dropped out and fell into the life of drugs; going back to school would be a waste of time and money.
No one spoke a word as I continued to draw different things on my pad. Maxwell just stared at me as he looked back at my drawings. He sat back down and put his hand over mine for he saw that something was troubling me.
Something was troubling me; me.
Chapter. 7
Maxwell invited me out for dinner the other night to cheer me up about Camille still being in the hospital. I went to see her and tell her all the beautiful things and some unpleasant things that have been happening since she’s been absent. Maxwell dropped me off and walked inside with me at the hospital as he waited for me in the waiting area. As we left the building, I had this funny feeling for not mentioning Maxwell to Camille, but she has a good sense of what’s been going on with me these past few months. She didn’t mind me finally being happy once since then and I was okay with it. Maxwell took me to the most expensive restaurant in North Hills, and I felt terrible for he had to pay for everything. He said that this would be a night that I wouldn’t regret.
"I hope not," I thought to myself as we took our seats.
I flashed a smile as we looked at the menu. Everything was so expensive I wondered what the occasion was. My eyes widened as I skimmed through the list once more. I saw he had put the menu faced down and looked through his phone because he already knew what he wanted. I wish he’d put his phone down, admire me in this white flare dress he bought me.
"Such an asshole," I say under my breath as I rolled my eyes with them closed.
I breathed in deeply as a waiter comes by and takes our order, but Maxwell pulls him to the side as the waiter jots down something he says. The waiter walks away with a smile as I looked surprised at what happened. I admire him from across the table as he continues to amaze me with all his tricks and many secrets. It’s a turn on no doubt, and I like it.
"Maxwell, what did you say to him?" I said sounding quite curious. He looked at me and grabbed my hands as he folded them on top of the other.
I stared him down as he did the same with me it’s like we were both in a staring contest and neither one of us would blink. He kept his composure the whole time without breaking a sweat or either blinking. Not once, as for me, I needed to flash because my eyes were starting to sting. I widened my eyes as I breathed in deep trying to keep it together, but I couldn’t. I finally gave in and blinked. I grabbed the napkin and dabbed the water from my eyes and drank a sip of water.
"I ordered us the French duck off the menu and a bottle of champagne," he says as he too takes a sip of water. I cover my mouth and nose for water was about to be spit across the table. I swallowed the amount of water in my mouth as I looked at him.
"You-you did what!" I shouted.
Suddenly, everyone stopped and looked at us like we were on some reality TV show or something. They looked away after a while as I began to grow furious with him. I folded my arms and pouted my lips squinting my eyes making grunting sounds like a little kid. I was starting to feel embarrassed by the way I was acting and wanted to leave him there alone with his duck.
"Are you fucking insane... Max-" I say as I begin to get loud again. I lowered my voice when I said his name.
"Maxwell, that duck you ordered cost more than this dress, what in heavens name is wrong with you?" I asked sounding worried.
"Calm down love, I have this, just sit there and look beautiful like always," he says trying to calm my nerves.
I looked at him for I started to feel a little better and calm as the waiter came around with our champagne. She set two glasses on the table for the both of us as she began to open the bottle and pour some for the two of us. He grabbed both glasses and handed me mine as we clinked together in unison. Our food came minutes later as we chatted amongst ourselves and laughed about the week and whatever we thought was funny during dinner as we both started to fill the champagne as it made us dizzy and a little bit tipsy.
The night was over, and dinner was exceptional. We got in the limo as I rested my head on his shoulder. He was quiet the whole ride as he kissed my forehead. Tod parked the car on the side of the street and opened Maxwell’s’hand as he carefully got out and carried me in his arms. I had fallen asleep the whole ride, and I had no clue where we were headed to next. Tod grabbed my hand purse and phone and gave it to Maxwell as he sprinted to open the door to his house for us.
"Thanks, Tod, that’ll be all," Maxwell whispers as Tod tips his hat and walks out the house back to the car.
Maxwell places me on the couch nice and gently without waking me up as I made scuffle noises. He then, walked to his master bedroom to change into something a little more comfortable as I slept peacefully. I was awoken by barking not too far away from me as it was a dog. I sat up in confusion because I didn’t know where I was. I called out to Maxwell for he couldn’t hear me. The dog kept barking and growling getting closer and closer to me like he was about to attack me. I was scared, and I needed Maxwell to hurry the fuck up. Whatever he was doing I was starting to feel uncomfortable, and I felt my anxiety spiking up. The dog kept getting louder with his barking, and as I got up and sprinted across the room, he chased me like I was his prey.
"MAXWELL!" I cried out to him as he walked into the living room seeing his dog almost attack me like I was kind enough to eat. He had a bowl of M&Ms as he picked up only the green ones and feeds them.
"Pork-chop down boy," he says in a stern tone snapping his fingers.
I look at him, and the dog as the dog stops and obeys every word. He walked over to his dog and scratched him behind his ears as he instructed him to go in his cage. I don’t know what it was, but seeing Maxwell take power made me insanely crave him. He locks the pen that was next to the kitchen door as pork-chop makes noises like a baby laying down looking all sad. Maxwell walks towards me and rubs my back to calm me down. I still turn and look over at the dog as it seems even more disturbing than before. I take a deep breath and sit down in the kitchen as I shake my head. Maxwell hugs me and kisses my forehead as he offers me something to drink. He places the bowl of M&Ms’ on the table and walks to the refrigerator.
"Here you go love; this is all I have. I hope that’s okay?" he says as he hands me the bottled water. I smile as I take it from him.
I have trouble opening it for it seemed the cap was too tight. He offered to help as when it finally began water spilled all over my dress. I sighed in disbelief as I made a face.
"Sorry love, I’ll grab a napkin," he says nervously as he finds something to wipe me down with.
"It’s fine, it’s fine," I say as I pat myself down with the rag he handed me.
I laugh a little as my dress had this much water spot in the middle. Now I’ve embarrassed myself completely; he felt more embarrassed than I did. He apologized once more as I tried to tell him it wasn’t his fault. He offered to give me spare clothes as he’d wash the stain out. He handed me a long T- Short and some shorts. I came back minutes later as he was cleaning up the mess in the kitchen. My hair was up in a bun as always while I watched him. The light beaming down on him made his body look swell meaning I couldn’t keep my composure. I bit the side of my lip as I imagined what it would be like with him on my body.
I sighed deeply as he heard me and crossed his arms with a smirk on his face as he watched me make a fool of myself. He quietly tiptoed over to me, as his hand touched my stomach. I felt him feel me up as he circled me. I tilted my head back and sighed as the feeling in between my legs began to feel hot. When he came back around he forcefully picked me up and carried me to the kitchen counter and set me on top kissing me all over. I sighed and clenched onto his shoulders for he made my body want him. He kissed my neck, then my collarbone which made me want to do unbelievable things unheard of right here in this kitchen.
"TAKE ME!" I whispered gripping him tightly.
He looked at me as if he just met me for the first time and nodded with a smile on his face.
"You want it?... you want me?" he replied as he sucked on my collarbone feeling up my shirt. I nodded my head repeatedly up and down as I moaned. He stopped and put me down.
"Go to my room around the corner and strip. I want to see you Queenie... I want to feel this body of yours" he says as he continues to kiss me gripping onto my waistline squeezing my weak pressure points that got me all excited and wet. I nodded as I went to his room. The bulge in his pants felt hard as a rock when I pressed up against him. He was ready for me, and I was nervous about it was my first time. I took a deep breath and went to the bathroom in his room to calm myself nerves. Was this happening? Or was I dreaming? I thought to myself as I investigated the mirror. I felt like I was in a movie, and I was the girl that didn’t know what to do or say.
I did as told; He told me to undress and take a breath. For it was my first time with anyone and I was nervous; you could hear my heart race. I thought it was about to jump out of my chest. I stood there in the middle of his master bedroom bare ass naked exposed to the cold air coming through the vent even though the windows were locked shut and the blinds were down. Both palms started to sweat as they leaked through my hands. My nipples were either hard because I wanted him, or they get like that when exposed to specific temperatures. I suddenly, heard a voice coming from down the hallway. He was standing by the door by the time I turned around. It was him, Maxwell Roseman.
"Wow; you look beautiful!" he says as he walks toward me keeping eye contact.
I shied away as my cheeks started to blush. He circled me as he studied the shape of my body by gently touching my waist which made my eyes flutter with excitement and desire for him. He stood behind me and rubbed my shoulders to relax me a little more.
"Lord Jesus this man had the magic touch," I said to myself as I leaned my head back resting my head on his chest.
"Your skin’s so soft Queenie; like a baby wrapped in silk," he says calmly.
I didn’t know if Maxwell was trying to woo me or flatter me with his words as our eyes shared a passionate gaze, but whatever he was doing it seemed to be working. My mind was racing with all these thoughts of him having his way. My heart rate slowed down as he kissed the side of my neck. I clenched my fist tight as I felt his fingertips touch my sensitive skin. I wanted him badly. He was what I needed. He was all I could think about.
I took in a deep breath as he wrapped his muscular arms around me as the lights above us made his skin glisten with every move he assembled. We hadn’t broken our gaze as his hands traveled down below. He rubbed my clit with his middle finger as a tease. I bit my lip and moaned indicating how badly I craved for his touch; his taste, him.
As he turned me around, he gazed deeply into my beautiful light-brown eyes. His eyes were more of a dark-grey; the kind of eyes you’d want to get completely lost in.
I could tell Maxwell wanted me by the bulge in his boxers as it extended outward. My eyes grew wider as I looked down to see it. I felt my heart race as he slowly caressed and embraced me firmly. I could hear his heartbeat along with mine; it felt like we were connected as one as we shared an ardent kiss. The kiss felt like nothing I’ve experienced before.
He pressed his lips against mine as I moaned with complete passion. His tongue filled my mouth as he dug his hand into my hip; he applied his smooth palm on my thigh as he motioned my hips to sway to the beat of the music that played in the background. He slowly stroked upward to my pussy as my eyes stayed closed biting the sides of my bottom lip.
"This man is amazing," I said as I moved to the beat of the music some more.
Once he detected the wetness of my thighs, I tilted my head back and exhaled wanting this man to take me. He moved his fingers through my locks; and continued to study me. This man has such gorgeous eyes. I said to myself as he rubbed my thighs and in between my legs. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He had me mesmerized and under his control. As I let out a baby moan, he fingered me some more as I held his shoulders he smirked a little going faster.
"Ah!" I moaned softly.
I clenched onto his muscled body as he kept a steady motion. I held on tighter as he sped up faster moving my clit back and forth with his finger, then slowed down as I started to squirm and cum on his hand. Right about now I’d throw him on the bed and have my way with him if I knew what to do; if we’re honest here. "Just don’t do anything stupid Queenie." my thoughts were all over the place as I continued to watch him.
"Just take me already," I say as my eyes closed and take in a deep breath.
"Maxwell!"
I moaned once again as I bit my bottom lip to indicate I was ready and soaking wet. Maxwell is much older than me, and he probably loves to torture his women like this when it comes to sleeping with them. He owns his business downtown. "Roseman Enterprises" well his father Andrew Rosman owns the company, Maxwell is CEO of marketing; but still, he’s probably used to this. I, on the other hand, wasn’t. I’m used to hanging out with friends and watching movies with my best friend, Camille.
I closed my eyes and let out a sigh as he removed his finger and abruptly out of nowhere carried me around the room as our lips touch and make out. As I was up in the air; my legs and feet dangle two inches off the ground I felt a rush of goosebumps rush through me as he kissed my collarbone, and neck.
"Help me..." I thought.
I didn’t know what happened after that; all I knew was he laid me down and processed to thrust his waist on mine. I gripped onto the sheets tightly as we both made the bedrock. I tried not to make painful gestures as he went deeper. As he processed, he saw how uncomfortable I was; and decided to slow down. My face expressions changed, and I became more relaxed, or so I thought.
The bulge in his boxers became harder as he grunted. He propped up my leg and continued to thrust deeper as he kept a steady beat with the headboard. My moans began to increase as he continued to go faster. Grabbing the edge of the bed panting and grunting in between each breath. The picture on the wall above us started to tilt a little as our moans intensify. I started feeling uncomfortable and felt an awful amount of pain. I squeezed onto his muscles and screamed as tears formed.
"STOP!" I bellowed.
I shouted as tears fell from my face. He quickly got up and saw the blood that ruined his thread count of silk bed sheet. I felt embarrassed better yet humiliated at the least. I couldn’t face him after that. I apologized after moments of silence, and I promptly collected my clothes and anything else as I headed for the door.
Chapter. 8
I lost my virginity to him. It was scary, but it felt pleasurable minus the pain and blood part. He seemed to be experienced having done all that work making me feel comfortable and relaxed. He had the magic touch. It was three in the morning, and I had to be at work by eleven o’clock. I took a quick shower and placed my night clothes and fell asleep. My body felt heavy for I had been dreaming of Maxwell and what he would have done if I hadn’t left. It was 5:45 am, and I had been awakened by my phone going off as I received a text message from Oliver. I wonder what he got texting me this late? I thought. I grabbed my phone off the nightstand as I rubbed my eyes to read the message.
Oliver:
I..... love you!
I thought about it and decided to call him. The phone rang three times before he picked up. He sounded like he was close too close. I got up and turned on the hallway light as I tiptoed to the door. I looked through the peephole, and he was standing there off balanced like. I started to worry about him and was afraid he was going to hurt himself. His words began to slur for I knew what the matter was.
"Have you been drinking Oliver!" I yelled through the phone.
He started to wobble sideways and lose his balance for I hung up the phone. He began shouting in the halls about something I couldn’t quite understand and placed my phone on the counter. I swiftly rushed to the door and opened it as Oliver was disrespectful towards the people down the hall. I apologized to them as I guided him inside and closed the door behind me. Oliver’s a lot heavier than he appears when he’s drunk. I sat him down on the couch as I placed my hands on my hips giving him a look of frustration.
Oliver just laid there on the couch without saying a word. I went to the kitchen to get some water. He took it and drank some as he sat up. It was 6:30 in the morning and my day wasn’t starting off high. I went to change into my sweats and a tank top and returned to the living room. Oliver had his head hung low holding onto the cup, and his hair was messy. I kneeled down to his eye level and lifted up his face. He was drunk alright. His eyes droopy, he kept saying things that weren’t clear; not to mention his bottom lip was busted from when he fell I assume.
"Qu-Queenie... come cl-close-close.... come closer," he says slurring his words.
He touched my face and fell forward. I tried to get him to look at me, but he kept feeling on me. I was starting to feel agitated for he was acting like a little kid. He was reckless and smelled like sweaty gym socks and garbage. I slowly got up minutes later because Oliver had passed out and I needed him to go back to his apartment and sleep it off and take a shower. I walked with him to the fourth floor to his apartment and escorted him to the door as I found his keys in his back pocket to open the door and lead him inside.
I shook my head in disgust because his place was a pig sty and smelled worse than before. I stepped over his clothes and stale food that seemed to have everywhere and slowly placed him in his bed. He hit the pillow and started talking nonsense again about a dumb theory of some kind. I rolled my eyes and fixed him so tea as I sat it on the nightstand and left.
I glanced at my phone, and it was 7:00 am and since I didn’t have to be at work by 11:00 I had a few hours to sleep before work. As I made it back to my apartment, I sighed deeply and slept on the couch. I dreamt about Maxwell touching me in places that made me weak and full of excitement that when I laid on the couch on my back, I placed my hands in my pants playing with my clit as if it was Maxwell eating me out. I moaned and sighed loudly as my pussy began to feel wetter. I bit my lip as I arched my head back with my eyes closed. My free hand cupped my breast and squeezed it tightly as I moved my fingers around my clit, and up and down. I said his name as my phone accidentally called him. I couldn’t hear it ring until I listened to his voice.
"Hello?" he says in a calm tone.
My body froze up as he repeatedly said my name. I sat up and picked up the phone as I heard his voice. He heard me breathe as I stayed silent. I closed my eyes as he said my name.
"Say my name Mr. Roseman," I said sounding faint.
"Queenie," he says as he sighs.
I licked my lips as he sighs through the phone and chuckles. My body felt warm inside and down there. I took a breath and waited for him to respond. He asked if I was alright; for I had all these mixed emotions rushing through my body. I didn’t know what came over me when he thrust his waist into mine. It felt amazing, and I craved for more. His touch was invigorating, intoxicating, pulsating. I couldn’t bear to waste another minute.
"Love, are you there?" he says meekly.
"Y-Yes Maxwell...." I say as I moan to him seductively.
"Repeat it, Mr. Roseman, Repeat it," I say as my moans increase in pleasure.
"Queenie..." he says sounding unsure.
He didn’t quite understand what I meant by my name and waited for me to respond.
I licked my lips once more and told him no; for I meant for him to say my real name. I played with myself as the pleasure felt intensely satisfying and substantial.
"Please?" I begged.
He did nothing but laugh as he shook his head. Wanting this man has got me feeling like a whore wanting something I can’t have. I don’t know what happened to me. Usually; sex is nothing to me. It doesn’t affect me to a certain extent; but with Maxwell, he had this charm about him, and this thing about him that made me crave him especially; in my dreams. I liked this feeling I was experiencing. It was what I needed. What I wanted, and Maxwell was the key to every unanswered question I thought about.
"Harlee Quinzel," he says as he realizes what I was trying to do.
"Y-Yes papí," I said as I lay back on the couch with my hands still in my pants circling my clit as it gets wetter and hard a little.
"You like that?" he says as he too lays back in his bed rubbing up and down on his shaft. I bite my bottom lip as I breathe in deeply.
"Hold your breath for a moment; and imagine me rubbing your body down with my index finger as I kiss your neck," he says in a demanding soft tone as his shaft starts to get hard. I held my breath as I imagine him doing that. My breathing starts to break as my heart rate increases and feel Maxwell press down on my body.
"Maxwell, I want you..." I say as I whimper.
"You do?" he replied
"Y-Yes papí" I responded as I moaned seductively.
I glanced at my phone as the time read 9:45 and I didn’t want to be late for work. I told Maxwell if we could meet up tonight when I get done with work; he agreed. I honestly don’t know what it was about this man that made me feel this way. I left my apartment and made it just in time for my shift. I hated wearing the uniform for it just made me look like one of those girls who’s begging for attention. Three hours into my turn I wanted to go home. I honestly; don’t know how Camille does it. It was the next day, and my shift ended within the hour. I needed to get out of here. Out of these clothes, away from these people.
When my shift ended Sergio, my co-worker offered me a ride home. The car ride felt a little bit uncomfortable for Sergio was the guy that would pressure you into doing something reckless, and I wasn’t in the mood to be dealt with. He kept staring at me the whole ride while I text Maxwell who wasn’t happy I got in the car with a stranger. I told him not to worry for I could take care of myself. When Sergio parked his car on the sidewalk by my apartment, he asked if he could come inside. I looked at him as if he was crazy and shook my head no; my gut was telling me to jump out this car, grab your keys and run up to your floor, and close the door. Sergio was one of those guys. You know; the ones that mistake kindness for sex.
I couldn’t seem to get out his truck for he had locked it on his side. I started to panic and shook as I pushed the car door on my side to have it open. Sergio creepily looked at me as he ran his hand through my hair as he tucked it behind my ear. I began to cry as my heart rate began to rise. He had tinted windows; so, no one could see what was happening. I screamed at the top of my lungs for help as he laughed hysterically. Maxwell was right; I shouldn’t have gotten in the car with a total stranger. I kept pushing the door, but it wouldn’t budge.
"Help me-!" I shouted, but Sergio covered my mouth and pushed me down along with the seat.
"Shh- I’m not going to hurt you Queenie. I want to taste you" he says in a creepy tone touching my face and licking his lips.
I closed my eyes and turned my head to the side back and forth for I was afraid and scared to death. He felt up my dress as I kicked him in the balls and was able to escape by pushing hard against the door. I stumbled as I got out, but Sergio grabbed ahold of me by the left ankle. I screamed and cried for help as he dragged me back into the truck. There was a man not too far from me as I screamed for help as he got closer. I knew who it was.
The familiar man ran up to the car and busted Sergio’s window as he attempted to rape me. The man punched Sergio in the face and glanced at me as half my uniform was ripped at the top. Sergio fell on the driver’s side as the man opened the door and carried me out. The man sat me on the steps as I attempted to call 911. My hands were shaking, and tears began to flow as I talked to the dispatcher on the other line. The man started to ruff up Sergio as he came at him. The man was able to knock him down and kick him a few times as the ambulance arrived.
The man walked over to me as I just stood there as the police showed up to take Sergio away. The paramedic was able to assistant me and help patch me up as the man stood by my side. I looked him in the eyes for I knew who he was; it was Maxwell. He rubbed my shoulders as one of the officers approached us with his hands on his belt. One of the EMTs gave me a blanket to keep me warm as the officer just stared at us.
"Are you alright miss?" says the officer.
He stares at Maxwell who seems to be getting an uncomfortable vibe and steps up in his face. I pull him back and shake my head as I try to piece everything together. I tell the officer I’m fine for he had to ask me a couple of questions, and that I needed to come with them to the station to give a statement. Maxwell wasn’t pleased with that. I answered their problems, and he told me to be at the station around 10:00. I agreed as he went back to the car.
"Have a nice day?" he says as he walks away.
Maxwell stood behind me as I began to quiver and shake still. I turned around, and tears began to burst on my face as I cried out to him. He grabbed me by force and hugged me in his arms. Being in his arms made me feel safe. I wasn’t safe here in Queens, NY and I needed to go somewhere else for the night to calm my nerves.
"I’m going to stay with my parents for the night," I said sounding upset.
"No! Queenie you’re staying with me. I won’t allow you to go back to Brooklyn." he says sounding demanding. He looks at me and rubs my shoulders down to shake the last of the nerves as we both head inside my apartment. I kept quiet the whole way up to my apartment floor and sat on the couch collecting my thoughts together. Maxwell made it very clear that I wasn’t going to stay here alone by myself since Camille’s in the hospital, and that he was damn clear I wasn’t going back to Brooklyn. Back in my old life; back to where I reminded myself I wasn’t worth anyone’s time.
Maxwell packed a few bags of mine and my art supplies and called Tod to tell him to come to pick us up because apparently, I was staying with him until this whole rape charge was settled; and he didn’t want me to be alone in the house when Camille’s not there. Seeing a man take authority, and so much power like Maxwell did when he saved me from Sergio definitely; made me want him even more.
Chapter. 9
It’s been a week since Maxwell let me stay with him after the assault with Sergio. He was charged with rape along with other charges that Bumblebee Burger Shack nor I was aware of and sentenced fifteen years in prison. Maxwell hasn’t kept me out his site since I moved in. He’s been very productive of me lately, and I don’t mind the extra attention. We’ve seemed to get to know each other better, but I don’t know him. The real him; not the rich, successful businessman Maxwell Theodore Roseman. I mean what lies underneath all that man, that muscle... him. I wanted to know about him and where he grew up. We’ve been seeing each other for five months, and still, there’s a lot he’s not telling me. I needed to know.
I remember it was Saturday. He had just come in from his meeting during the afternoon. I was painting in the living room of this picture he hand hung up that showed a lot of potentials. He had come behind me and kissed my cheek as he admired my work. I felt a little down knowing Camille was still in the hospital and I missed her. I wanted to tell her what I’ve been up to these past months and let her know Maxwell saved my life that night. I haven’t heard much from Oliver since that night he stormed in drunk at my apartment. I hope he’s alright. I called him the other day, and it went straight to voicemail. Maxwell sat on the couch after switching out of his business clothes into something more relaxing, and as he watched me watch the painting, I asked him where he was from.
He didn’t say much for all he did was stare at me. I think he felt ashamed of telling me because he didn’t want me to feel sorry about where he grew up, but I wanted to know. I begged and pleaded, but all he did was avoid the question. This man’s a mystery; I feel like he’s hiding something from me that he feels he must keep to himself. I a don’t know what changed him once I moved in, but sometimes I feel like I made a mistake saying yes to him. I know he’s a businessman since he’s always on his phone and all but lately, he’s been ignoring me, and when he wants something he’ll give me attention; but that’s only when it’s convenient for him.
Shattered glass, thin paper airplanes, loud noises that cloud my mind, and maybe my judgment. I laid in bed thinking about how this could have happened. Is this what it’s like when we’re apart, and when together he’s sweet, loving, and his charm. What has become of me? This was the number one question I seem to want to know the answer to. I remember one night I couldn’t sleep. I was in Maxwell’s arms as I quietly got up and tiptoed out of bed and into the living room. Pork-chop had finally gotten used to me and ignored me as he slept in his cage. I poured me a glass my water as I looked at my painting that was half finished: it was of a woman’s face, but only half of it and a dark black background symbolizing how traps she feels with shattered glass for her eye, and paper-thin airplanes representing her skin. I called it: Music Box.
I called it that because if you look down instead of focusing on her face, and skin you wouldn’t be able to see her holding the music box in her hand. The painting was sad because I felt like that woman holding the music box. I feel trapped, alone, and scared to do something that if it goes wrong, I fall into the sunken place hence the black background. I needed something to distract me. Not even the half-finished the painting of the Music Box would help with everything on my mind. I missed Camille. I lost my family, my baby brothers, and I hate to admit it; but I miss my mother most of all. Maxwell woke up and discovered I wasn’t by his side. He got up and the living room light on as he rubbed his eye and yawned. He saw me sitting there on the couch just admiring the painting and walked over to me.
"What’s the matter?" he says as he sits next to me.
"Nothing," I said as I rest my head on his shoulder.
I didn’t say anything for he already knew what troubled me. We talked until the morning as he got ready for work. I spent most of my time reading and looking through his memories and childhood. I spent about several hours looking through this box labeled Maxwell Memories. I had the table in my hand as he stepped out of his room and walked into the living room. He gazed at the box and me as he adjusted his tie. He didn’t say anything as I held onto the box as he walked towards me; my heart was beating so fast I thought he was going to scare the soul out my chest. He stood in front of me as he looked down. I pouted my lip and made a face as he stepped so close to me, so close our lips almost touched. He stepped close that he backed me up to the corner of the wall. He put his arms up as my heart began to feel faint. He makes my heart beat out its chest. My eyes glistened under the beam of the light as our eyes shared a gaze.
"Queenie, love..." he says sounding relaxed.
"Y-Yes, Mr. Rose... I mean Maxwell" I said nervously.
"What is that you’re holding?" he says sounding sincere.
"Y-Your memory box...." I said as I began to shake my leg to calm down.
He kept his eyes on me as mine wandered. He took the box from me and set it aside on the table. He repeated my name, but this time he had a little tone in his voice. He caresses my face as I finally looked at him. This man is incredible. He seems to get me and know me just by looking at me. He kissed me slowly as I felt my toes curl. I breathed through my nose as my eyes close. In my head I thought; what else can’t this man do? Since I’ve been here; we’ve done almost everything together: we’ve cooked, baked, talked, and don’t get me started on the sex. He’s amazing. When our lips parted, he let down his arms and went out the door.
I was shocked and still left in the corner for I couldn’t move a muscle. I grabbed the box as I told there in amazement. I slid down to the floor still amazed at the box in my hands, and on my lap. I was hesitant yet excited to open this box because I didn’t know what I’d find. My heart began to beat fast once more as I opened the lid. My hands were shaking, and palms were sweating. I started to feel my anxiety take over. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths before going through the pictures. Most of the images I saw of him were pictures of when he was a baby. He was on the football team in high school, and his parents worked very hard to give him a better life.
He’s from Clifton, New Jersey. I thought to myself as I ran across his birth certificate. His parents are divorced after being married for seventeen years, and he has a little sister Emily Roseman who’s around my age. As I scattered through the box, I noticed a picture of a woman who seemed to be in every high school photo. This woman had long beautiful brown hair and gorgeous dark brown eyes. She looked to be about 5’3 and had the body of Aphrodite; better yet she was the definition of Aphrodite herself. I began to feel a little insecure as I discovered her in more photos of her and Maxwell. The looked like they were high school sweetheart. They went to every dance together, prom, she was at every football game; in fact, and was the head cheerleader. Makes sense because he was the quarterback of the football team.
My phone scared me as it rang. I ignored the call as I got up off the floor while still looking through the box. I picked up my phone as the name read on the screen, Maxwell. I wondered what he wanted as his name appeared on the screen again, but this time it was a text message. I was scared to read it for I didn’t know what he wanted. As I read the news I began to feel a little more relaxed about it was him just reminded me he’d be coming home early and that there’s a surprise waiting for me. I smiled as I replied with a smiley face. I glanced at the box for I wanted to know more about him, and his past but a part of me didn’t want to upset him.
I gathered all the information off the floor and on the desk as I placed them back in the box. I felt a little tense as I decided to take a long and hot shower. I went to my room to gather my materials as I found some music that would relax me while I undress. I had a lot on my mind thinking about Camille, my job, my artwork, bills of all things; and the fact that Maxwell hasn’t opened to me as much and the effect this whole thing is new to me still. I turned on the water as I adjusted the temperature and grabbed my phone. There was another text from Maxwell saying; he’d be home around two o’clock. The music continued to play as I stepped into the shower. The water felt perfect. I turned around as it ran down my back and the water felt through my hair. I closed my eyes and thought about these past few months and how I got here. I also was afraid that Sergio would make parole and come after me again.
When I turned around, water, hit my body as I washed all over with the body wash. I felt frightened and unsafe as I remembered everything that happened that night, and how I felt when his body was pressed against my pelvis and how he breathed down my neck telling me how I liked it. When I washed the soap off me, my body went numb, and it felt like I couldn’t breathe. I was hyperventilating trying to catch my breath as the water kept running. I backed up and slid down to the floor with my eyes closed shut picturing Sergio attacking me repeatedly. I screamed and screamed for the pain to stop, for him to stop.
The water kept running fogging up the glass when Maxwell busted down the door and slid the shower door back as he stepped into the shower as the water ran down his suit. He didn’t care much about his clothes for he was trying to calm me down. I pushed him away after yelling some more and began to beat on his chest screaming "you bastard" over and over. More water ran down his suit as he tried to turn off the water. When he did, he rocked me back and forth calmly trying to calm me down as I grew silent.
He stepped out of the shower to change out of his wet clothes and into his sweats. He came back with a blue towel and wrapped it around my body. I stepped out as he walked me to the room. I was still in shock as he laid me down on the bed. I looked up and saw him across from me as he looked worried. He rubbed my shoulders down with the towel as I took a breath. I didn’t know what happened to my body went numb, and I just froze.
"Are you alright Queenie?" he says as he got up and sat next to me.
I kept quiet and didn’t speak. I looked at him for he kissed my cheek and hugged me tightly. I felt safe again. I looked at him as he licked his lips. He was tempted and would do just about anything to keep me safe. He gathered some clean clothes for me to wear as I got dressed he came from behind me and hugged me tightly. I wrapped my arms around his face and neck as he pressed his palm on my stomach and rubbed me down below. My body wanted him. Wanted him inside. I needed this. He knew exactly how to please me.
He turned me around and stared intensely into my eyes. I licked my lips and sighed seductively as I gripped his waist as he thrust it against mine gently. He knew how I wanted him. He turned me on just by clenching onto my waist. I sighed as I tilted my head back. His kissed my neck gently as I held on tightly as my eyes fluttered. "Yes..." I grunt as I bit the bottom of my lip. He picked me up as my feet dangled as we made out with each other. He placed me on the bed as his waist thrust against mine. I gripped onto the sheets as he kept going. Faster and faster he went as the bulge in his pants grew bigger. The bed began to rock as did we as he sped up. Our moans and grunts increased as he felt up my shirt gripping onto my breast as I arched my back while he fingers me. "You like that?" he says as he instructed. I nodded as he went even faster.
"Faster, faster Max-well" I moaned gripping tighter onto the sheets.
He went faster pounding my pussy, going deeper inside me as I reached the climax and came. I arched my back as we what seemed like making love under the covers. I bit the on his neck as I came more on his shaft that appeared to be ripping my insides on the way he kept thrusting.
"MAXWELL!" I moaned loudly.
"QUEENIE!" he says as he cums inside me.
Chapter. 10
"Heartbreak on a Full Moon" by Chris Brown play softly on my phone as I lay in bed drawing a portrait of someone who I thought I knew. Tears began to form and fall from my cheeks and land on the drawing as I pull detail in the eyes. His eyes. I wasn’t trying to upset him, nor did I think he would mind if I asked. The thing is, he’s been lying to me this whole time. A call came through my phone. It was the hospital. When I answered the nurse informed me that Camille was in better health and that she’s being discharged around noon. I was ecstatic and yet worried at the same time. Her dad was willing to pick her up and drop her off at the apartment where she and I stay at so; it wouldn’t be too much of a hassle for me to get her.
Camille’s like a sister to me, and it wouldn’t have been a hassle if you ask me. I guess her father thought it would help and make up for lost time all these days. I had so much on my mind I couldn’t let Camille know what I know plus if she says it on my face, she will fuck Maxwell up. She’d protect me from anything, and that’s why I appreciate her, and for all, she’s done, so when she comes home today, I’m going to have a huge smile and a hug waiting just for her. Let’s hope my facial expression does not ruin it because of him.
It’s his fault. Two weeks ago, Maxwell called me to come outside for he had a surprise waiting for me. I didn’t think anything of it and went. As I stepped outside where he was in the driveway standing next to something draped over it. He ripped the drape off as it was a black 4X4 Toyota Tacoma car paid in full and had my nickname in italicized sliver lettering as he handed me the keys. I looked at the car with my keys in hand shocked and yet concerned about why he’d do this. He would always do something to see me smile and be happy; but to be honest, I wasn’t pleased, with myself on the inside.
I decided to hop in my car and drive to clear my head. I grabbed my keys and drove off along with the clothes I had that Maxwell bought me. The radio in the car blasted as I turned it down. I drove around the block as I let down my window. The weather was pleasant as my hair blew in my face. When I made it back to the house, I put my keys on the hook and stared at the living room as I closed my eyes as images of that night repeatedly replayed in the back of my mind. I slid down to the floor and cried out as my screams echoed the house. Maxwell was at work, and pork-chop slept in the cage. He didn’t seem to mind my screaming for he still was sleeping. He could sleep through a hail storm if he could.
How could he have let this happened?
I couldn’t believe what I know now about him. Why did he have to lie about all of it? This isn’t about the sex. Don’t get me wrong; the sex between us is always good... great even. He has me doing things to my body that I never knew excited. I would be smiling ear to ear every morning in a good mood almost through half the day. I just; I can’t... I won’t work except this. Why me of all people? Why not someone else, who’s strong enough to handle this? I knew I should’ve gone through the rest of those pictures. What I know now about him; I can’t even begin to explain in words how I feel.
Two weeks ago:
I woke up feeling sick in the stomach as if I caught the flu or something. I couldn’t wait for Camille to see my face as I drive to pick her up. I talked to her father and let him know it was no trouble at all, plus I missed her. When she was discharged from the hospital, she looked beautiful than ever. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and she had on sweats and a T-Shirt. She looked pale in the face from the lack of food or should I say lack of terrible hospital food they provided for her. She couldn’t stand being bedridden for that long. When I suggested we go to a burger restaurant, she couldn’t run to my car fast enough.
"Wow! what’s this?" she says.
"My new car... Maxwell bought me" I said with excitement as I opened her side of the door. She smirked at me and stepped in.
"It’s so..." she says as she takes in a breath.
"It has that new car smell," she says as she smiles at me. I step in the driver’s side as we buckle up and drive off.
Camille notices me I smile as I talk about everything; including the rape of Sergio, also how I’ve missed her so much; but Camille knew something was wrong once I grew quiet. Music played through half the car ride once we pulled into Burger Barn. Once we got out, the smell of the food permeated through the air and soon through our noses. Cami pulled out her lip balm and applied it six times on her lips for smoothness. I shook my head and smirked under my breath. I hugged her tightly and let go for I tried to hide my facial expression. "So far, so good," I thought to myself as we headed inside.
We took our seats and talked amongst ourselves as I tell her about what happened to me at work when Sergio attacked me. She took a sip of her drink and made a sad face. She felt awful for not being able to save me. I told her that Maxwell saved me; and how he came and nearly beat Sergio to death. Her face expression changed once I mentioned his name, as did mine. I took a sip of my Pepsi and looked at my phone to see if he called or left a message. Cami saw a glow once I lifted my head even in my eyes.
"No!" she says as she widened her eyes.
"What?" I said sounding shocked.
"Did he?.. did you two..." she says as she gives me a look raising her eyebrow at me.
I looked at her for I still had no clue what she was talking about. Our food came by two minutes later as I took a bite of my burger, Cami grabbed my arm before I could bite it. She gave me that stare that creepy stare she knows I hate, then she said my name which I hated more.
"Harlee..." she says as she lets go of me leaning back in her chair as she folds her arms.
I couldn’t help but cave as my head was hung low. I placed my burger on the plate and stared at her knowing I suck at it. Her eyes soon widened as she smiled from ear to ear knowing what we both know. She covered her mouth and screeched trying not to draw attention to us, but too late. People looked at us as I lowered my head to the table embarrassed by Camille’s actions. She grabbed the fries off her plate and stared me down until I caved in. I eventually did after a while because the way she kept staring at me made me uncomfortable.
"Queenie, you didn’t. Please tell me you didn’t?" she says with so much excitement in her voice.
"We did...." I said as I shook my head slowly feeling embarrassed as ever.
Cami couldn’t stop smiling for this was a huge moment for her, and she couldn’t stop looking at me. I covered my face with my leather jacket as she kept talking about nonsense and touching absolutely everything for she had the jitters of excitement and joy for me losing my V-card. She took a massive bite out of her burger as I watched her. I barely ate mine for her talking about my virginity made me lose my appetite.
Cami and I talked a few more minutes before I took her home. After I dropped her off, I had this feeling in my stomach that didn’t settle right with me. This feeling was worse than my anxiety that happens now and then. When I opened the door, he was standing there with a look so unpleasant. I placed my keys on the hook and closed the door behind me. My heart was pounding so loud I could barely hear myself think. I held onto the doorknob for if I let go, I’d see the anger in his eyes.
I had enough strength to turn around and face him for when he uttered my name in the tone he used made me squeeze my arm with my hand clenched tightly on my elbow. I looked down at the ground as he took me to come to him. I bit my bottom lip in nervousness as I walked towards him. I felt his presence as it was dark and full of uncertainty. I stopped in front of him as he looked at me with his eyes. He placed his hand on my shoulder as he licked his lips. I just stood there in silence wondering what was going to happen next.
He then saw me flinch away from him once he touched my chin and slapped me across the face as I landed on the floor. I held onto my face as I tried to escape him. I decided not to cry holding it in as he moved in closer having me backed up against the wall. He kneeled to me as he huffed and puffed breathing through his nose. I tried not to look at him. I knew what he was upset about, but he didn’t have to hit me. Before I woke up and went to pick up Cami; I looked through his memory box once more and saw more pictures of him and the same girl in all the movies, and I had left them out in the open instead of placing them back in the box.
He backed up and tossed me a wet towel and told me to clean myself up as he walked away with his back towards me. I sat on the floor feeling vulnerable. I got up slowly and walked to the bathroom with a wet towel covering my face. I whimpered softly as I turned on the water and fixed my face. As I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I saw half of my face had swollen up, and my left eye was bruised a little. I stood there for a few minutes as the water ran as I thought to myself.
What did I do, to make him so angry?
After cleaning my face, I grabbed my shades and keys and drove over to the apartment. Maxwell came out of the bathroom feeling guilty that he hit me and knocked on the door to apologize. He waited for me to answer and when he noticed that I was nowhere to be found he grew more upset than before. Pork-chop was barking loudly as Maxwell collected his things and headed to his vehicle. He had so much rage and anger in him because he knew what I now know about him. About the lies, he’s told me. He sped down the street and passed every red light for he didn’t care about the consequences.
When he arrived at the apartment, he sprinted up to the studio and banged loudly on the door. When Camille saw me, she hugged me tight and hid me in my room as I explained to her what happened after she saw my face. When she heard the loud banging, I jumped and hugged her tighter as I heard my name being called out. Cami kept her composure and answered the door. Maxwell was standing there looking through Camille seeing if I was there. He was still trying to catch his breath when Camille tried to get his attention.
"Where is she?" he shouted.
Cami looked at him as if he lost his mind. I stayed hidden under my bed as I heard every word.
"WHERE IS SHE CAMILLE, don’t make me ask you again," he said yelling at her some more. Cami exchanged a few words herself at him as they both got loud in the hallway.
People started to come out of their rooms as they saw Camille and Maxwell get loud with one another. He looked at them as if they were watching a circus show. Others seemed to ignore them while one of them called 911. It got so loud between the two of them that Camille closed the door on him and locked it so that he wouldn’t come him. Maxwell kept screaming and banging on the door as Camille felt it. She looked through the peephole and saw him still standing there looking crazy as the police showed up to take him away. I stepped out of the room with my arms crossed once it got quiet as I slowly walked to her. She looked at me as I cried out. She hugged me as I continued to weep.
"What... happened Queenie?" she says calmly.
"I-I-I did something terrible. I said sadly.
"What?" she says sounding curious.
"He’s.... he’s... he’s married," I said as I cried.
Cami started to grow confessed as she gave me a look. She sat me on the couch and poured me a cup of water. She sat next to me as I tried to explain what happened. Her face grew nervous, and she began to feel angry. She balled up her fist and grinned her teeth as she breathed deeply into her nose. When she saw the look on my face, she calmed down and hugged me. I laid on her shoulder as the room went quiet.
"Who’s married Queenie?" she says sounding more curious.
"Maxwell...." I said softly as her eyes widened.
Chapter. 11
Marriage.... married.... engaged.... these were the thoughts racing through my skull as Camille goes on and on about how wrong it is to be in this relationship with Maxwell. I ignored her as always and went about my business. What Cami was saying was right. Maxwell was married, and I was like his side piece. I received a message from Maxwell in the middle of the day saying how sorry he was. I was still asleep in bed or laying down as it was the weekend, and even though I didn’t have to work, I was always cautious about the whole Sergio incident. It was Saturday around 2:30 pm and I didn’t want to bring up the entire wife thing quite yet for I didn’t want to provoke him.
Maybe, he already knew that I knew that he was married. He didn’t want me to I guess find out or get hurt. I found alright; I didn’t want him to know I knew.
The next day was dull. Cami was working all day, and I was at the apartment painting a sad portrait, but every time Maxwell would send a text or call I’d stop what I was doing and answer. It was like I replied to his beck and called every chance I got. Some would call it controlling; I’d call it an act of love. He promised he wouldn’t hit me again, but last week he got pissed off because I came home late; later than usual because it was Zoey’s’ birthday a friend of ours we met three months ago. She seems pretty dope. She’s a dancer: an exotic dancer. He smacked me upside my face and called me a bitch. He never called me names before. I hit the floor hard with yet another visible mark on my face. I cried as I limped away from him.
He chased after me, and once he caught up to me, I pushed him away as he forcefully gripped onto my shoulders giving me that devilish stare of fear and anger. I had held the wife secret for too long, and I needed to know. Camille and our friend Zoey were pissed to high heaven every time I’d see them. Oliver even wanted to kick his ass, but I wouldn’t let him. I felt like a complete ass for making this happen. It’s been over nine months since being in this toxic relationship. I eventually stopped painting portraits, and regular paintings altogether because of him, and that’s not like me. He made me cut ties with Camille because he says she’s too much and talking to her let alone being friends with her is causing our relationship to fall apart.
Another week passed, and he pulled me in his little office he had set up for his business meetings and told me he needed to explain something to me and that I wouldn’t be too happy about it. He sat me down and told me he was married. I didn’t say anything or give anything away that I already knew, so I just sat there in silence and let him explain everything. Some stuff surprised me because it was things I didn’t even know. He had a wife that lived in the Islands named Alexandria Roseman, and they had a three-year-old baby girl named Rain. My heart dropped when I saw a picture of them together: all three of them on the beach during a scorching summer.
"She’s beautiful," I said softly as I lowered my head.
A tear started to form as I slowly got up and walked to the door. He followed and gripped my wrist as I stopped slowly breathing through my nose to calm down. He wrapped his arms around me, as we stood there. I felt my heart or what was left anyways; turn black and my emotions I had held back finally were able to burst through the cracked walls of the river dam as it erupted and crashed, but instead of water crashing down on the town my tears fell one by one as I tumbled to the floor while still in his arms. He slowly came down with me rocking me back and forth to calm me down.
I couldn’t come to terms with what was going on at that moment for my head was rushing with thoughts and pain in my heart. He picked me up off the ground and wiped my tears as I pushed him off of me. He pulled me towards him and kissed me to distract me from the pain I was feeling. I squirmed and fidget around as he tried to hold me still. I stood there as our lips pressed together as my body fell weak. I gave in and had him take me. He picked me up with force as I felt his muscles wrap around me tightly. I sighed seductively as our lips pulled apart. He gripped my ass and smacked it aggressively getting me all excited. He kissed my neck, then collarbone as a sign of dominance.
"Take em’ off Harlee," he says in a soft tone as he kisses my neck.
I stared at him with my eyes as he backed away while I undressed. I didn’t like this feeling I had for it made me feel uncomfortable and made me look at him differently. My dress dropped to the floor as I wrapped my arms around myself and looked away. He studied me closely as my heart rate increased. I wiped a tear from my eye as he pressed his body against mine. I felt like his slave, and he didn’t care how he was hurting me. I felt like my body wasn’t mine, and I was being forced to do something I wasn’t comfortable doing.
"Please... Maxwell, stop" I pleaded.
He slowly brushed my hair back slowly and gripped my hip and pressed down hard leaving a bruise. I held my breath to hold back my muffled cries for help to see if he’d see how much pain he was causing. He didn’t care and proceeded. He pushed me down to the floor and got on top of me from behind. He pulled out a knife from his pocket as he cut my underwear as I closed my eyes tightly in fear of what he would do next. He then turned me around on my back and continued to hurt me. He studied my body some more as his lips began to quiver with thirst. I closed my eyes the whole time as he raped me in his office.
At one point he put his hand around my neck as he inserted his shaft inside me with force. Once he finished, he left me there. I got up minutes later in pain and grabbed my dress and headed to the bathroom to clean myself up. I took a long shower to wash off the scent of disgust as I rubbed the visible bruises and scars that appeared on my body. I cried as Maxwell went about his business. When I was done with my shower, I put on a long T-Shirt and some pants as I tied my hair in a ponytail as I grabbed my shades.
I jumped when I heard a knock at the door. It was Maxwell standing there watching me. He moved in closer with both hands in his pockets as he touched my right shoulder with his hand. I flinched and held back my tears for he smelled my hair. I was afraid to turn around and look him in the eyes for Maxwell wasn’t the same man I grew to know. I thought of many possibilities of ways to leave him, but I couldn’t find a way out. If I went, he’d kill me.
"Harlee, look at me," he says calmly.
I felt hesitant to face him for the sound of my name being uttered. I slowly turned around as I took off my shades and looked him in the eyes. He smiled at me and ran his fingers through my hair as he gripped the back of it making my head lean back. He licked my neck slowly and grinned like the devil himself. I huffed and puffed a few times as I could feel my heart explode. I was afraid of him. He let go of me as I placed my shades back on and sped to the car, but he grasped onto my forearm and grinned as I knew that was a sign for: if you tell anybody about what happened I’ll kill you, and Maxwell meant that for he let me go.
I ran outside and got in my car as I stayed there in silence. I cupped my hands over my face as I cried out hitting the steering wheel repeatedly hurting my hand in the process and after a while drove to Camille’s apartment.
Chapter. 12
Cami wasn’t too thrilled to see me when I showed up at her door with bruises all over my face and body. I cried as soon as she saw me. Zoey was there just visiting when she too saw the injuries. The two of them grabbed me by the hands and dragged me inside as one of them closed the door. Usually, Camille’s the one yelling at me giving the "I told you so" speech, but this time Zoey was the one who gave it to me and emphasized I’d leave Maxwell. She wasn’t wrong, nor, was she helping the situation by suggesting Oliver kill him. I wanted to believe that he did it because he loved me, but I was wrong.
I don’t understand how it got this worse in the several months we’ve seen each other. I should be the one pissed off because of the simple fact Maxwell’s married and had a three-year-old daughter, and how he’s been lying to me from the jump.
"Are you insane Queenie?" Zoey shouted.
I sat down on the couch as I tried to look at her. She had both hands on her hip as she gave me a stare. The stare Camille would give when I’d do something wrong. I listened to her as she went on and on. Camille couldn’t look me in the eyes let alone talk to me. I had disappointed her and Zoey. This wasn’t like me to act like this. I gave a man everything I believed in and gave him power. I promised myself years ago that this wouldn’t happen again; not after what he did to me: I almost had this man I dated strip me of everything, and he almost killed me over pride. I couldn’t stand to be around him, so I left, but with Maxwell, I can’t seem to go. What’s wrong with me? I thought to myself as Zoey continued talking.
I felt like an idiot sandwich, to be honest for even staying this long.
I guess the reason I stuck around was that for so long I wanted to feel like I was desired by someone who loved me for me and cared about how I felt; instead of what they gave me, or how much they spent. None of that mattered. I never was given much, and I was alright with that; until Maxwell showed me differently. I loved the attention I was receiving and the affection.
I left Camille’s apartment after getting a call from Maxwell. He didn’t sound too upset, and that’s the thing. He always sounds peaceful and calm over the phone and never confused. I rushed home, and as I opened the door, he grew angry. I smelled as I sniffed my armpits. He got a call through his phone as he stepped into the room to answer it. The screen said: Alexandria
Moments are meant to be shared with the ones you love. I can’t seem to shake the thought of Maxwell’s hands around my throat, or him pinning me down while he rapes me. After the whole Sergio incident, Maxwell changed utterly. He started lying and hiding things; like the fact, he had a whole other life before I came. Maxwell reached out to Alexandria and his daughter one night while I was in the shower. I listened in as the water was running, and for a second, I thought everything was fine, but when he uttered the words "I love you too" something in me; my heart couldn’t take any more pain. Apart of me had my emotions flying everywhere; that I didn’t know if I loved him, or if I loved him because I wanted to believe I did. I know I didn’t like him then, but if I say I loved him just because of all the awful things he’s done then that makes me a hypocrite, and a liar for I didn’t know anything anymore. My judgment was clouded.
I stepped out of the shower and wrapped the towel around my body as I walked to the bed to retrieve my clothes. Maxwell turned around and saw me as I stood by the side of the bed. He hung up the phone as he stared at me, or should I say my body. I felt disgusted and walked out of the room into another. I didn’t want to look at him: for every time I closed my eyes, I’d see him on top of me; hurting me. Not too long after, he knocked on the door as I put on my T-Shirt.
I turned around as I rubbed the back of my neck and looked down at my phone that played music to settle my nerves.
"Can I come in?" he says as he looks at me.
I didn’t say anything for a while and then nodded giving a hand gesture as he stepped in slowly. I sat on the edge of the bed, as he watched the expression on my face change. He stepped in between my legs and ran his fingers through my hair as I flinched away looking at the ground. I didn’t know what he was going to do as he just stood there looking down on me. My nerves grew rapid as so, my heart. It was like two devils dancing the waltz, or tango, and made me feel very uncomfortable. I looked up at him for his hand was still stroking my hair.
"Why did you leave Harlee?" he says.
I stuttered over my words for I didn’t want to tell him where I was or else he’ll flip or hurt me even worse than before. It reminded me of Gareth Andrews, the guy I was with before Maxwell who completely ruined me. Gareth Andrews was a person I knew back in high school, and we dated my junior year up until he went to college at Yale. During our relations when we first started out everything was marvelous; you could say we were the perfect couple, high school sweetheart? I think not. Gareth was captain of the varsity basketball team, and I was your typical outcast that stayed to herself now and then. His teammates dared him to sleep with a virgin for $200, and that girl he chose was me. People had their things to say about me, and I wouldn’t be myself if I told you that being picked on by those better than me, and being taunted didn’t affect me, but it did.
Dating Gareth then, made me feel better about myself when with him. I was his trophy for those short months we were together. He had a full ride to Yale, but he lost it because he had got into a fight with one of the students at our high school. When we dated, he seemed to turn around, and I felt like being around him made it look like no one could mess with me. People still bothered me, but Gareth would always be there to protect me. We broke up during his senior prom all because I wouldn’t sleep with him, so he beat me in the boys’ bathroom along with teammates. Camille found me hours later the floor covered in piss and blood and drove me to the ER that night. Gareth wasn’t charged with assault, but his teammates were.
They were sentenced twelve to twenty years in prison. I never spoke to Gareth after that and spent the rest of my junior year bedridden until my senior year, so when I look at Maxwell and everything that led up to this point I blame myself for letting this happen.
Sure; back then I was seventeen eighteen years old, but I’m twenty-six now. I should have done something to escape this. I had to rebuild myself from scratch and built up so many walls to protect me from getting hurt. Maxwell made those same walls collapse when I let him in. I needed to do something fast. I didn’t want this for myself. He made me stop drawing, painting. I never imagined that. He made me into this vulnerable person I couldn’t even recognize. He gripped the back of my hair and looked me in the eyes. My head tilted back as I grew nervous.
"Where were you QUEENIE!" he shouted as he let go and pushed me down on the bed.
I cried a little as he waited for me to respond. He then smacked me across my face as I stood up and took to long to answer. He placed both hands on his hips and stood over me with so much frustration. I covered my face so that I wouldn’t look at him. He began shouting at me loudly throwing his hands up in the air waving them, tapping his foot as I didn’t say a word.
"ANSWER ME WHEN IM TALKING TO YOU!" he says.
The shouting grew louder, as I began to weep. I ran to the bathroom as he sprinted after me. I closed and locked the door before he even had the chance to come inside. I slid down to the floor covering my face and cried my heart out. Thinking of what I did wrong, and why he changed suddenly. I was afraid and wanted to know what to do. He banged on the door as I covered my ears as he called out to me. The door pressed against my back as I screamed to shut it out.
"QUEENIE OPEN UP THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!" he screamed.
"NO!" I replied.
Maxwell banged his fist on the door so hard he cracked it and ran out of the room. I sat on the bathroom floor a while as it grew silent. I got up off the floor and looked at myself in the mirror. I couldn’t believe what I saw. I couldn’t recognize myself with all the scars and bruises on my face and a busted lip. I touched my face and began to feel my heart split into. A few minutes passed, and Maxwell hadn’t come back to the room. I needed to talk to Camille; even though she wasn’t talking to me. I ran a plan through my head to retrieve my cell phone that was left on the nightstand. I didn’t want to risk having Maxwell come back and kill me. I finally had one in mind and thought fast before he came back. I took a breath to settle my nerves. I walked over to the door and opened it a little as I saw my phone laying on the nightstand. Maxwell was nowhere in sight.
I tiptoed fast enough to grab it, but the floorboards were making a creaky sound that Maxwell could hear and dashed his way back into the bedroom where he saw me. Our eyes met as my heart raced. I ran as fast as I could as he chased me around the house. I had tripped over the carpet in the living room as he gripped hold of my ankle and dragged me back to the office. I kicked him in the face to get free as he let go. I got up and ran back into another room as I locked it and ran into the bathroom and closed it as well, so if Maxwell runs after me, he won’t be able to get inside. My hands and body began to shake as I picked up the phone to dial Camille’s number. My heart raced even louder as I heard it ring. Tears were falling from my face as the scars on my face began to bleed before me falling.
"Pick up... please Camille," I said sound terrified.
I began to bite my nail as she picked up the phone. She said my name as I took a deep breath and exhaled through my mouth. I tapped my foot as it began to shake. "Hello..." she says. I close my eyes before answering as I pick up the courage to even talk. Before I spoke, she knew exactly who it was, and she didn’t sound pleased either. "Harlee.... is that you?" she says sounding shocked. She placed her hand over her mouth as I whispered yes quietly and sniffed. She began to grow worried as I explained to her what’s been happening, and she started to become in rage. Zoey was still there for she too heard every word. I heard Maxwell bagging on the door as it broke down. I jumped in fear as he started banging on the bathroom door.
"Queenie, I want to talk to you. Open the door sweetheart," he says as he takes a breath leaning against the door as if he could hear me.
"NO!" I whimpered.
"Queenie, luv. Open the door. I’m sorry about before. I promise I won’t do it again." he says and waits for me to answer.
"Leave me alone Maxwell; you don’t mean it. I shouted.
He grew angry and banged his fists against the door leaving a tiny hole. I backed away. I picked up my phone and sat on the toilet seat. He began to shout and cuss at me through the door as the thoughts in my head grew louder and louder. Camille and Zoey grew aggravated and hung up after she told me she’d be there in fifteen minutes. I pressed my body against the door keeping Maxwell from entering as I called another number. I needed help and was afraid for my life. Maxwell grew into this whole other person; he became a monster. The phone rang as I pressed it against my ear. I didn’t want to do this to him, but I had to. I had to do this for me.
Enough was enough.
"911 what’s your emergency?"
Chapter. 13
The police showed up minutes later, so did Camille and Zoey. Maxwell has dragged out of the house in handcuffs screaming and fighting his way back to me where I was locked in the bathroom for my safety. I didn’t come out until I knew it was completely safe. Law enforcement officers circled him as they drew their guns and tasers out. I heard a man shout: "On the ground now!" as Maxwell would scowl and growl at him like a deranged animal with rabies. Camille and Zoey made their way inside as they looked at Maxwell and the five or six cops surrounding him as they saw another officer female talk to another officer trying to defuse the situation.
"Can someone help me find my friend?" says Camille all worried and confused.
Zoey goes off to the side as one of the officers’ grabs Maxwell by the arm and walks him to the police car. One of the officers walks over to Camille and tries to assist as the female officer talks to captain P. Cross for more details. I contemplate whether I should leave the bathroom or stay in here a little longer, but by the looks of things, I don’t want the attention drawn to me. I felt terrible for doing what I did to Maxwell. I didn’t want to send him to jail for something I knew was my fault. I was startled by the knock on the door as I jumped in fear of Maxwell coming back. Suddenly; I heard a familiar voice and felt safe.
"Harlee- I mean Queenie dear, please come out. One of the officers wants to take a statement from you" says Camille as she leans her shoulder against the door waiting for me to comply.
I touch my face as I hear more chatter on the other side as I try to calm my nerves. I turn on the faucet to distract them for a while letting them think I’m coming out. I grabbed a clean towel and dabbed it with water to clean the open wounds on my face and bruises on my neck and the rest of my body. The fresh wounds stung a little as I dabbed gently to wash the dirt away to risk the cause of infection. About fifteen minutes passed, and I was still in the bathroom. I wanted to move, but my body wouldn’t let me. My heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to burst. Another knock on the door scared me as I jumped but louder than the last; this time it was the female officer.
"Hello, Harlee this is Lieutenant Marisol Simmons. You can call me Miracle; is that alright?" she says as she leans in talking through the door. I don’t do anything and slowly walk towards it and press my hand against it and take in a breath.
"Y-Yes...." I said weakly.
Camille and Zoey stand by the door along with Lt. Simmons and the captain as I talk through the door.
"Harlee, can you come out; so, we can get a statement?" says Lt. Simmons.
"Is he still out there?" I said sounding frail.
Lieutenant Simmons cleared her throat and scratched the tip of her nose and glanced over at Camille and Zoey. She placed her hands on her belt buckle and turned her head to the side. I put my hand on the doorknob as I felt a sharp pain on my side as I abruptly let go. I backed away and stood still as I could feel his presence. I could feel his breath down my neck as he wrapped his hand around my throat and gripped it chocking me from behind, whispering in my ear saying how this is all my fault, and I deserve what’s coming to me.
"Yes, Harlee he’s gone. Can you please come out of the bathroom you’re safe now; he’s not going to hurt you," she shouted.
The pain I began to feel increased, and I started to feel numbness in my neck all the way down to my waistline. I paced back and forth shaking my hands to flush away the negativity I was receiving. That didn’t work so, and I turned on the water in the sink to distract me from the voice inside my head. His voice inside my head. Lieutenant Simmons knocked on the door a few times to see if I’d answer and Camille started to worry and began to bite her nail bids or what’s left of them anyways.
"Harlee, please open the door; we need to be able to do our jobs," says Lt. Simmons as she looks at her captain to see what to do next.
He gives her an order after getting aggravated while I could still hear Maxwell in my head screaming and yelling at me telling me that this is all my fault. I began to fall on the floor as I tried to breathe. Lieutenant Simmons along with the rest heard a loud thud as soon as my body hit the floor. I was hyperventilating as my eyes widened gagging and choking on my lungs. Lt. Simmons and the rest began to worry as her captain gave her to bust the door down. Camille and Zoey were pushed to the side as Miracle attempted to break in.
"Miss, back away from the door" shouted Captain Cross.
I got up off the floor and backed away as Lt. Simmons broke the door down. I saw her as she stumbled through. Our eyes met as soon as she stood up straight and looked me in the eyes. I shied away as she moved closer. I didn’t talk as much as she and the captain escorted me outside the house where the police cars were and an ambulance.
"We need to get you taken care of Harlee," says Miracle as she directs me over to the ambulance. Camille and Zoey walked behind us and stayed by my side. As I passed by the police car where Maxwell was, he stared me down giving me an uncomfortable vibe as I destroyed him inside. Camille placed her hands on my shoulders and walked me to the EMTs while Zoey stuck up her middle finger lowering her eyebrows as she crossed her arms and walked towards where we were to keep me company.
"Are you alright sweetness?" Camille says as she rubs my shoulder.
I nod and shake my head for I could barely form a sentence, let alone talk. One of the officers drives off with Maxwell in the backseat while Lieutenant Simmons speaks to the captain about what to do next. I watch as I tune her out. Zoey stands next to one of the paramedics and strikes up a conversation as Cami goes on and on trying to get my attention. I ignore her as Lt. Marisol Simmons approaches us along with the captain. She has both hands on her belt buckle wearing her navy-blue police uniform and her hair styled in a shortcut on one side and having a little bit of hair hanging from her face. She had dark brown eyes soulful brown eyes and several tattoos on both forearms: one of a snake with bright red eyes, and a few of tribal art.
Her uniform hid the others. It was kind of a turn on if you ask me. She had a round shaped face and a small but noticeable dimple on her left cheek. I smiled a little as I started to squirm-making myself to feel comfortable.
I began to get this feeling in between my legs as she flexed when the sun reflected from her badge. She turned her head as I noticed another one of her tattoos this of a name. I frowned and looked down at the ground as I heard my name being called.
"Harlee is it? I’m Captain Peter Cross" he says as he extends his hand out.
I stay quiet and shake it slowly. I look over at Lt. Simmons as she pulls out a pen and pad as she looks up at me. One of the EMTs gives me a blanket as I drape it over my shoulders to keep warm. Camille and Zoey walk over to the car as I talk to Captain Cross and Lt. Simmons.
I looked over at Camille who was starting to freak out. I hated seeing her like this; just a week ago she was released from the hospital, and now, she has to worry about me. I gave my statement to Lt. Simmons as she gave me her card if and whenever I needed to get in touch with her. Before she left; she asked if I wanted to press charges against Maxwell as Zoey made her way over to me to as I got up.
"No," I replied.
I smiled and limped over to Zoey feeling a bit of shame in my stomach. Miracle didn’t say anything and went about her business as did I; as Captain Cross and Lt. Simmons drove off. Camille stood beside me and smiled nonchalantly and then turned and gave me a look so bad I felt me swallowing my lungs whole. I can’t believe I was about to get the "speech" from Camille. All I wanted was to curl up with my pillow and fall asleep watching "The Fox and the Hound."
"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND HARLEE!" she shouts to the top of her lungs. Zoey looks at me with her arms crossed like I’ve lost my mind.
I walk away from them not thinking anything of it as I attempt to go back inside to call it a night. Camille grips me gently and tells me to get my ass in Zoey’s car for I wasn’t thinking of spending the rest of the night inside Maxwell’s house. I can’t believe how I was being treated. I felt like I was being treated like a baby. It’s not like I care about what happens to Maxwell or me for that matter. I brushed her off me and gave her a look.
"I’ve had enough of this Camille. I don’t-" I say sounding annoyed.
"You don’t know what Harlee!" she says getting loud with me.
"It’s Queenie Camille!" I shouted as I got closer to her.
Camille stared me down as she folded her arms. I roll my eyes and wrap my arms giving her a look. Camille doesn’t buy into this game I’m playing for she thinks I don’t care about myself enough to even have the decency to press charges on Maxwell. A man that abuses women and lies about everything to get what he wants; when the truth of the matter is I don’t know what to do in a situation like this. I let this man break me down, and strip me of my self-worth that I don’t even know who I am.
"It’s not Harlee. You earned that nickname after everything you’ve been through in life and worked your ass off to keep it. What happened to the Queenie I knew? What happened to the woman I looked up to when things were bad for me. The Queenie I knew wouldn’t let a man define her and beat down on her. What happened to my best friend?" she says as the look on my face changed.
I backed away as none of us spoke a word. These past eight months I’ve become someone completely different. What happened?
"Camille, can I at least get some of my things?" I suggested as I rolled my eyes.
She gave it some thought and shook her head yes as I walked into the house to retreat some things. Zoey was staying in my old room with Camille, so the only person I could think of was my mother. It’s been years since I last talked to her let along see her in person. Moving back home wasn’t something I was looking forward to. I grabbed the last of my things and headed towards the car as Cami and Zoey followed behind. I pulled out my phone along with Lt. Simmons card and put her number in my phone. As I closed the trunk of Zoey’s car and got in the back seat, I text Miracle to thank her for today.
Minutes later; she text me back:
Miracle
You’re welcome beautiful.
I felt a little better after I read the message. I stayed silent the whole ride to Brooklyn. Camille was so disappointed in me for she thinks I should have pressed charges against Maxwell, but a part of me didn’t for unexplainable reasons. It was late at night, and I had been texting Miracle trying to distract me from the horrible chain of events. No one spoke a word for Camille was still upset. The tension in the air was so horrific you could cut it with a knife if you tried. Zoey parked her car on the sidewalk as all three of us sat in the car in silence. None of us spoke a word for there was nothing to be said. Camille saw my face in the mirror as it looked unrecognizable and disgusting. I cried moments later as I covered my face with my hands.
Camille couldn’t resist not talking to me, so she turned around and saw how much pain I was in and comforted me the best way she knew how.
"I did this Cami... I provoked him to beat me." I said crying.
"No, sweetie, you didn’t. It’ll be alright I promise you," she says as the worry lines on her face start to show.
"I did Cami, I did. I shouldn’t have gone through his things and found out what I know. It’s all my fault" I say crying even louder.
Zoey soon turned around and comforted me too as she had this look on her face; the face of guilt. I continued to cry in my hands as they rubbed my shoulders. "What’s wrong with me?, why didn’t I leave when I had the chance?" I thought as I took in a deep breath. Zoey got out of the car and came in the backseat with me. She wrapped her arms around me tightly like a hug as I rested my head on her shoulder.
"I honestly don’t know what happened guys," I say as I cry some more.
Camille looks at the clock in the car, and its past midnight, so she hops in the driver’s seat and drives all the way back home to her apartment.
Chapter. 14
Maxwell spent one night in jail. He was released the next day and furious. Camille insisted I stay with her and not his house for he’d do the same thing and make the situation worse. I wasn’t so sure about it, but as soon as I saw Oliver, my heart felt at peace. I ran to him as soon as Zoey opened the door to the apartment. He was standing there looking surprised to see me then his face changed quickly as I embraced him. I sobbed immediately and started panicking. He let go of me and saw the injuries on my face and busted lip. He wasn’t too happy and knew exactly who did this. Camille and Zoey weren’t too happy themselves as I tried to calm him down. Oliver bawled up his fist and wrinkled his face up showing the amount of rage he was displaying. He grinned his teeth and began to breathe slowly through his nose. He screamed shortly after.
"THAT BASTARD!" he shouted.
"Please, Oliver calm down. I’m okay please." I pleaded as I grabbed ahold of his hands and looked him in the eyes. Cami and Zoey stood in silence as they thought of ways to kill Maxwell.
"No! Queenie; I’m not going to calm down. That son of a BITCH hurt you. I’m going to rip him to shreds." he snarled as he gently moved me to the side heading for the door.
"Oliver, now wait for a second, think about this for a moment," says Camille.
She walks up to him holding him back as Zoey blocks the door. I bury my face in my hands and sob a little as Oliver sees how upsetting this is making me. She turns him around and stares him in the face as he’s still agitated. I walk up beside her and look Oliver in the eyes while he grins slightly and grips my hand.
"Oliver..." I say softly as he swings my hand back and forth.
"Oliver!" says Camille raising one eyebrow up giving him a look.
He eventually calms down and takes in a deep breath. Zoey still stands by the door as I hug him tightly. I stay in his embrace as I felt safe and sound in his arms. I knew Oliver cared about me and wanted me safe and that’s what I liked about him. He was a good friend and always looked out for me no matter what.
"Oliver; Maxwell is twice your size and even if you tried something you’d be hurt in a matter of minutes or worse dead. Don’t do anything-" she says but hears a loud banging noise by the door and jumps up a little. I immediately ran into Oliver’s arms as the banging sound grew louder. I was scared and afraid that my nightmare of Maxwell returning came true. Zoey used all her strength to hold the door back for we all knew who it was. I hid my face in Oliver’s armpit as I shook in terror. He calmed me down by rubbing my back. Zoey locked the door and moved away as quickly as possible and stood by Oliver and me.
"QUEENIE, I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE; I JUST WANT TO TALK!" he says screaming and looking through the peephole.
"GO AWAY MAXWELL YOU’RE NOT WELCOMED!" yelled Camille.
She walked fearlessly towards the door as the rest of us stood back.
"Camille this isn’t about you; now back away from the DOOR!" he shouted forcefully as he banged loudly. He was starting to cause a disturbance at the other neighbors began to come out of their rooms and see what was going on.
"Quiet down sir, people are trying to get some sleep.," said the lady in 6F.
"Yeah! don’t make us call 911 on you young man!" said an old woman in 6B.
"SHUT UP AND DISAPPEAR YOU OLD HAG!" yelled Maxwell as he looked at her. The old woman in 6B shook her head and headed back inside while everyone else began talking all at once. One of the younger gentlemen got so disgusted with his attitude that he pulled out his cell phone and called 911 to report a disturbance.
Maxwell ignored all the people in the hallway yelling and shouting at him as he focused on getting me to talk to him. He and Camille exchanged a few words back and forth while I tried figuring out how to make him leave. The police showed up right away long with Miracle and the chief or are it captain: Peter Cross. Lieutenant Simmons ordered the others to go back inside for they could handle the situation. She wasn’t standing too far away from Camille’s apartment for she saw Maxwell banging on the door scaring everyone around him and that inside. She looked at her captain for he ordered her not to make any sudden movements until he gives the order.
"Captain, sir, we have to act on this or those people inside will get hurt. Give the order" she says looking at him then at Cross.
"Simmons; you know as well as I do that unless he does something drastic, we can’t do anything. We wait, and that’s an order" he says looking down on her as he looks and waits.
Miracle gets fidgety and begins to shake her hands rapidly calming down her heart rate. Maxwell sees them staring from a distance as he thinks up a plan to get me outside. He looks at the officers as he licks his lips and talks calmly through the door. He digs his hands in his pockets rocking back and forth as he takes a breath.
"Sir I think we should-" she says, but the captain cuts her off.
"I said NO! Lieutenant Simmons; now wait until I say go," he says sounding aggravated. The rest of the team watches them as they figure out a strategy. Miracle, on the other hand, waits patiently tapping her foot while hands are in pockets looking at what Maxwell will do next. About an hour passes and nothing happens. Maxwell just stood by the door smiling weirdly rocking back and forth. Lieutenant Simmons stares at him waiting for him to fuck up. Camille and Zoey go into the room while Oliver watches the door with me still in his arms.
"Oliver maybe you should sit down. You’ve been standing for hours. Your feet must be killing you." I say in a soft tone.
He lets go of me and cups his hand on my face and looks at me. He rubs the bruises and sees the pain in my eyes as I try to hold back the tears. My heart couldn’t stop pounding for I was more than terrified for what Maxwell was going to do next. I blamed myself for everything. I should have just left when I found out he was married. Weeks and weeks of torment and name calling wasn’t worth it. I didn’t know what became of me when he told me he loved me. Thing is; I wasn’t 100% sure I kissed him back maybe that’s why he’s this way.
"This isn’t your fault Queenie. He shouldn’t have put his hands on you, to begin with. You’re too precious to be torn apart by that... that monster." he says to me as he hugs me tightly. I hug him back and weep in his arms.
"I provoked him, Oliver. I knew I should’ve just listened to him when he told me he was married. I should’ve snooped around his office." I say as I cry some more.
"No, no it’s not-" he says as he stops in amazement after realizing something.
"Queenie, he’s MARRIED!" he roars.
I shake my head in shame after thinking about it some more and cry hysterically. Camille and Zoey come out of the room and see what’s going on while Oliver paces back and forth with one hand over his head in shock about what I just said. I didn’t speak a word as I ran into my old room and lay across on the bed weeping.
"DAMN IT!" I shouted as Camille, Zoey, Oliver, and the police officers heard it. Lieutenant Simmons jumped insight of someone in danger or possibly hurt, but captain Cross stopped her before she could do anything. Maxwell was sitting on the floor with his back against the wall looking over at Lieutenant Simmons pissing her off even further as he laughed in amusement.
"I’m going to hurt that son of a bitch, I swear to GOD!" mumbles Lt. Simmons as she grows angrier.
Her captain looks over at her and tries to calm her as her temper gets the best of her. The captain gives an order to pack it up as it seems that Maxwell wasn’t doing anything dangerous nor harmful. All the other officers leave the building while Miracle wouldn’t follow protocol. She looks over at him while he mocks her and before she goes, she rushes over to him and slams him to the wall threatening his life.
"If you ever, hurt her again. I swear you’ll be pissing blood from your ass for two weeks" she says in a grave tone of voice. Maxwell laughs it off. Miracle ignores the captain as he repeatedly calls her name shouting it down the hallway as he walks up to her.
"LIEUTENANT SIMMONS BACK AWAY FROM MR. ROSEMAN THIS INSTANT!" he shouts. She ignores him a second time as she continues to threaten him.
"LIEUTENANT SIMMONS LET HIM GO NOW THAT’S AN ORDER!" Captain Cross shouts even louder to get her attention.
Miracle looks at Maxwell who doesn’t seem to care what happens as she lowers him down from the wall and let’s go of him. A few minutes pass after everyone leaves, and Oliver knocks on my door to see if I was alright. He sees me laying on the bed with my sketch pad in hand drawing to calm my nerves as I draw a picture of Lt. Simmons to distract me from this mess I put everyone in. Oliver sits next to me to keep me calm as he rubs my shoulder. I look at him for he was the only person I trusted. Let me rephrase that. Oliver was the single man I believed.
Once everyone left, and things began to cool down I came out of the room with my drawing in hand. Maxwell was still waiting for me to go for it was late. I wanted to sleep and rest my head.
Oliver insisted I stay with him for a while until he was put in his proper place. Lieutenant Simmons pulled the captain aside and asked if she could use her car to keep an eye on things. She apologized to him as she told him she had this feeling that I just wasn’t safe and needed extra protection. Captain Cross wasn’t pleased with the way she handled things, but allowed her to stay behind, but only if Richard Stansfield joined her. She nodded as Richard joined her on the watch. She texted me to let me know what was going on. I replied minutes later as I looked outside the window. She kept her lights on to let me know where she was.
Maxwell had fallen asleep in the hallway so, for me to leave without him knowing I’d had to be very careful and quiet. All Oliver had to do was sneak me to the elevator and get me to safety. I took off my shoes because they would make the most noise and since Oliver could bench press 360, he was able to carry me without him or me being noticed by Maxwell. Zoey opened the door quietly and peaked outside the hallway to see where Maxwell was as she saw him sleeping on the floor next to the door. She gave the okay as Oliver picked me up and carried me towards the elevator. He kept my phone on silent and in his back pocket so that way it wouldn’t get damaged.
We were able to make it towards the elevator as I pressed the button for it to open. Oliver checked and kept an eye on Maxwell who slept like a log as the elevator doors opened. He stepped inside as the doors made a sound that woke Maxwell up. Oliver placed me down gently and repeatedly pressed on the number 4 button to see if the doors would close faster as Maxwell got up off the ground and sped towards us. I clenched onto Oliver’s arm as my heart rate increased. Maxwell was getting closer as I saw my life flash before me.
"Hurry Oliver!" I cried out.
He looked at me and finally the doors ended as we heard the screams and loud bagging from Maxwell as the elevator went down. I looked at Oliver as we waited for his floor to ding. Silence filled the space between us. He glanced at me a couple of times as I stayed quiet. I looked at him for I wanted to thank him. We finally made it to his floor and got off. He stepped out as my body froze up. He stopped it and waited for me to step out.
"Take my hand Queenie. It’s alright I’m not going to hurt you," he says as he extends his hand out.
I look down at it for all I could see is him. Maxwell’s hands around my body and neck as he tries to find ways to hurt me. "It’s okay Queenie. You can trust me to remember," he says as he waits for me. My hands shake as so my body for I couldn’t move. I want to take a step, but I can feel him down my back haunting me; holding me back as I try to utter a sentence. Miracle was still outside in the car waiting for any signs of disturbance when she glanced at her phone and saw a text message from me, but it wasn’t. She stood up and then a call came through.
"Hello! Queenie," she says sounding frantic.
"Hello Lieutenant Simmons; this is Oliver. I’m a friend of Queenie," he says sounding nervous.
It turns out I had fainted on the elevator floor, and I needed assistant right away. I’ve been feeling sick for the past week and a half; not to mention stress; not too long after Miracle rushed to my need and called for backup as the ambulance arrived.
Oh lord, please don’t tell me what I think it is...
Chapter. 15
Lieutenant Simmons carried me downstairs as Oliver followed directly behind her. She placed me in the back of the ambulance as Oliver and Lieutenant Simmons followed them to the hospital where I was admitted in and put through a lot of testing to figure out what was wrong. Oliver stayed by my side as Lieutenant Simmons talked to one of my doctors to see what the problem was. I had awoken moments later with Oliver holding my weak hand sitting by the hospital bed all worried and scared if something happened. I sat up a little to settle my stomach for I thought I was about to vomit. Oliver stood up still holding on to my hand giving me the stare.
"Harlee-" says the doctor as he walks in with my chart as Lieutenant Simmons waits just outside the room.
I ignore the doctor as he talks about me in a language that I don’t understand as I see Lieutenant Simmons back block the door. I look and observe at all the mechanics around me as I start to feel uncomfortable and crowded. I cringed at the sound of my name as Dr. Goodman uttered it. I squeezed tightly on the sheets and bit my bottom lip. He kept talking as he didn’t make any eye contact. He pushed up his glasses as they almost fell off. All I could think about was how Lieutenant Simmons saved my life. If it weren’t for her I would be in a coma, or worse dead.
It turns out when I fainted I hadn’t eaten anything within hours. Dr. Goodman also said that I was starting to feel nauseous because it’s flu season and that I needed to get my annual flu shot. Oliver and I thought it was because I was pregnant. Thank GOD! I dodged that bullet; otherwise how else was I going to explain that to Maxwell. If he weren’t thinking about killing me now, he’d have a reason too.
The doctor left minutes later as Oliver went to get something to eat. I was left in the room to think long and hard about what I was going to do next. Lieutenant Simmons was standing outside my door as I asked the nurse to bring her in. She nodded as she asked if she’d keep me company. Lt. Simmons hesitated for she never left her post while on the clock and came in any way. The nurse went moments later as Lieutenant Simmons sat down next to me. Oliver came in with a sub sandwich and a bag of chips as the nurse closed the door to give me privacy. He watched us through the small glass space as he ate one chip slowly at a time.
"You didn’t have to stay," I said looking her way.
"No worries Harlee it’s my job to serve and protect. I served now it’s time to protect," says Lieutenant Simmons with a smile.
She lays back in the chair and looks at me as I start to cough. She jumps up as I cover my mouth with my hand and sit up to get comfortable. I look at her as she does just about everything to keep me safe. She stroked her hair back away from her face as I could tell she was nervous. She knocked over the water on the little tray as she poured me a cup and handed it to me. I laughed under my breath for it looked like she was trying too hard to impress me.
"Are you always this nervous around girls; Lieutenant Simmons?" I asked as I helped clean up the water.
She looked at me and chuckled under her breath as she gazed into my eyes. I bit the side of my bottom lip as I began to blush. The feeling I was expressing came back in between my thighs for I couldn’t stop smiling.
"No; not to the women I like," she says as she sat down in the chair next to the hospital bed.
There it goes again...
The feeling between my thighs began to increase in pleasure as I tried my best to keep still. Why is she so attractive? Why am I feeling this way? Stop it Queenie. I tell myself giving Lieutenant Simmons eye contact. Not long after, Camille and Zoey rushed in as they met with Oliver to see how I was doing. He stopped them by the door as they looked and saw me talking with Lieutenant Simmons who had a smile on her face as she and I talked about nothing.
"Oliver can we go in and see her?" says Camille as she looks at Zoey then through the door, and back at Oliver.
I glance at the door as I see Oliver talking with Camille and Zoey. Lieutenant Simmons looks over her shoulder as she leaves the room and talks with them. She runs her fingers through her hair as she shakes the front of it as she licks her lips placing her hands on her belt. Seeing her walk away made my nerves settle a little. Every time she’s close to me, or even touch my hand my heart pounds with the anxiety and anticipation of wanting her to handcuff me to the bed and lick me from head to toe.
"Harlee, is alright the doctor told us she had fainted due to lack of eating, and nausea’s due to-" says Lieutenant Simmons but Camille cuts her off.
"Pregnant! she’s pregnant.... oh my god pregnant by that monster ROSEMAN...." she says lowering her voice then raises her eyebrow looking through the glass staring at me.
"What!" says Zoey and Oliver with a surprised look on their faces. Lieutenant Simmons chuckles under her breath looking back at me.
"No, she’s not pregnant. There’s the flu going around, and she caught it, along with stress," she says to them as Camille calms down. Zoey looked through her phone as she got a message and told Camille she couldn’t stay long and went home. Lieutenant Simmons gave the okay for Camille to see me. She and Oliver walked through the door as Lieutenant Simmons stayed behind.
"Sweetness, are you okay? Zoey and I are worried about you" she says sounding all frantic and scared.
I pat her hand that rested on top of mine as I tried to calm her down. Oliver stood in silence and looked at me as I glanced at him. He didn’t say much for he couldn’t think of the right words to say. Camille and Oliver stayed until visiting hours were over. I hugged them both as I said my goodbyes for the night. The doctor discharged me a few minutes later as Lieutenant Simmons insisted I stay with her.
"Lieutenant, I can’t do that," I say as I gather my things.
"No, I insist you stay with me. It’s alright; I have a guest room that you can stay in until we... I’m sorry until you get settled." says Lieutenant Simmons as she helps me gather the last of my things.
Our bodies touched as we crossed passed by each other. I could feel her breathing down my neck as she chuckles. She and I leave the hospital and get into her car as she drives off to her house.
"Are you sure Lieutenant Simmons, I mean I don’t even know you like that for you to-" I say as she cuts me off.
She turns her head and looks at me with one hand on the steering wheel and flashes a smile. Oh my god; she has perfect teeth. I get distracted by her appearance as she tries to grasp my attention. Get it together Queenie stops acting like a fool! I say to myself as I turn my head to the side and widen my eyes.
"No, you’re okay, I promise you. Think of it as a favor. It’s my job as a police officer and a lieutenant to..." she says as I look at her.
"Serve and Protect." we both say at the same time as I smile a little.
"Exactly," says Lieutenant Simmons as she pulls into the station to talk with the chief.
"I’ll be right back. I have to talk to the chief and update him on our situation," she says as she turns off the car and gets out leaving me inside. She came back moments later all stressed out and upset for she had paperwork to fill out from home. I didn’t say anything as I watched her get inside and drove off. I held onto my things along with my phone that was in between my legs so that way I wouldn’t lose it or break it. It vibrated as I received a message from Maxwell. I bit the corner of my lip to keep still.
Maxwell
Queenie, please pick up. I need to talk to you. I’m sorry. Baby, I love you. Please find it in your heart to forgive me.
I glanced at the message as Lieutenant Simmons tried to calm down and thought about replying to his word as several more came in. Lieutenant Simmons glanced my way as I looked at the screen.
"Is everything alright Harlee?" she says as she pulls into the driveway and parks her car. She turns off the engine and waits for me to say something.
"Oh, umm... everything’s fine. It’s just my mom checking in on me to see if I was okay." I say as I bit harder on my bottom lip because I just lied through my teeth.
Lieutenant Simmons looks at me weird as she chuckles and gets out the car while I replied to Maxwell.
Leave me ALONE! I pressed sent as I waited for my nerves to settle.
"You comin’ or what?" says Lieutenant Simmons as she carries my bags to her front stoop.
I look up at her as I turn off my phone and get out the car. Something was telling me this wasn’t right, and that’s my gut. My gut is always right, but who am I going to deny that she was only doing her job. It’s not like Maxwell knows where I am; right?
Right?
Chapter. 16
Just when I thought things for me couldn’t get any worse: When Lieutenant Simmons opened the door to her house her girlfriend or should I say fiancé, Charlotte was waiting for her to come home. She set my bags down by the door as the two of them argued over me once Charlotte laid eyes on me. She smacked her lips in disgust at my appearance, and then I slapped Lieutenant Simmons in the face, but she caught her arm before she could even make contact. I watched as the two or should I saw Charlotte yell and screamed at Lieutenant Simmons as I stayed silent. It was very uncomfortable.
Her name was Charlotte Bonclair her father owned a company up on the upper east side selling beauty products that made you look ten times younger or what I’ve heard. Lieutenant Simmons stood to be about 5 foot 4 inches, and Charlotte Bonclair was my height, she was slim, pretty skin tone lighter than mine and she was about two years older than me. She had a BA in business for you could tell she was smart. She wore glasses and had exquisite taste in clothes that made her look professional. You’d think she’d had class at least by her demeanor, but she did not. She wore her hair down to look casual, and either up in a ponytail or a bun while at work. She works for a law firm north side of here and makes good money. I hope she doesn’t know Maxwell, or else we’d both be in deep shit. I say to myself as she makes eye contact with me.
She eventually left upset and walked out the door as she gave one good look at me. Lieutenant Simmons didn’t look very happy for when she sighed and sat on the couch with a stressed out, but tired-some look on her face. I held onto my bag and cellphone as I stood quietly by the door. She stared at me and smiled a little. I’m beginning to feel whenever she looks at me her problems and stress seem to melt away. That made me feel less tense as I walked towards her.
"How long have you known Charlotte?" I said to her as I sat down.
Lieutenant Simmons looks at me as she takes off top walking towards the bedroom as she grabs a shirt to put on.
"About 12 years; well for me at least," she says as she grabs a water bottle from the fridge. She glances over at me as she asked if I wanted one. I shook my head as she handed me hers then grabbed one for herself. She leaned her shoulder against the wall as she opened the bottle and drank from it. I kept mine clenched tightly to my chest.
12 years, that’s a long time that practically marriage.
I thought to myself as my eyes widen away from her as I felt about Maxwell and his wife, Alexandria. I rushed to open the bottle as I could reminisce about the time I spilled water all over my dress the one Maxwell bought me.
"12 years?" I say as I slowly placed the rim to my mouth and took a sip.
The water felt refreshing as it slid down my throat as I drank some more. I drank it to the halfway mark as I placed it on the floor next to my feet. Lieutenant Simmons chuckled under her breath as she shook her head back and forth. I stumbled under my breath for I was tongue-tied again. My heart raced, and palms sweat for I felt I was in a movie answering a hard question. Lieutenant Simmons never broke eye contact for she was waiting for me to respond. She had somewhat asked me a problem as I zoned out for my mind was spinning with thoughts of Maxwell coming back and hurting me. You brought this on yourself... says myself conscious mind as I distracted myself by looking around the room studying Lieutenant Simmons memories and many trophies from when she was younger.
"Harlee, are you alright?" she says to me as I snap back into focus.
"Y-Yeah; I’m okay. Just tired." I say feeling ashamed and an ounce of regret.
She nodded and looked at the time for it was only 9:45 pm and she had to be at work early, so she grabbed my things and walked me to the guest room where I’d be staying. It had almost everything. It had a bed, a bathroom with a shower; all it needed was a touch of TLC. She placed my bags on the couch and walked towards me by the door.
"My room is down the hallway to your right; if you need anything," she said as she walked out the room. I nodded and smiled as she yelled good night.
"Night," I said back as I turned on the light and closed the door admiring the navy-blue paint on the walls.
I gathered my nightwear and hoped in the shower as I sang. Lieutenant Simmons came in with a few extra blankets for it gets cold in the room as she heard me sing. She smiled and waited as I got out with the towel wrapped around my body as I came out with my nightwear in hand. She looked at me as I was surprised to see her standing there in her nightwear which just consist of black and blue basketball shorts and a black T-Shirt with her hair slick back. I became aroused just looking at her.
"Here are extra blankets for you if you get cold," she says as she leaves the room.
"Thanks," I said with a smirk.
I got dressed for bed as I turned on the lamp light to set the blankets down. I tried sleeping through the night as I tossed and turned on the couch. It was comfortable, but rough as I got fed up. It was around 3:00 in the morning as I tried to think of something to do. All I could think about doing was paint. I picked up my phone and turned it on as several messages came in from Maxwell.
Maxwell
Baby, please pick up the phone
Baby, I’m sorry I should never have hit you...
Queenie, you are my queen; don’t do this...
I won’t do it again... I love you.
And those were the ones I read. There were over 300 messages from him as I became more and more anxious and afraid. Through the middle of them the ones that I understand they became more violent and aggressive. I could hear the intense music play in the back of my mind as I scrolled and read them all as my heart began to pound. Soon after; there was a knock on my door as I jumped in terror as my phone hit the bed. It was Lieutenant Simmons checking in on me as I was starting to sweat a little on my forehead. I quickly turned off my phone and hid it from her as she sat at the edge of the bed.
"Hey, Harlee- are you sure you’re alright," she says sincerely.
I look at her then away for a moment as I began to fidget with my hands to distract me from her eyes. She reached out and touched my hands as I quickly pulled away.
"It-It’s Queenie," I say in a soft voice as I hung my head down low not making eye contact.
"What?" she says as she leans in closer to hear me better.
I don’t say anything for I was afraid of what was going to happen if Maxwell found me. I placed my hair behind my ear as I lifted my head up.
"I prefer Queenie Lieutenant Simm-" I said again with no hesitation then looked away, but she cuts me off. I bit the side of my lip as she smiled and grinned slightly.
"Oh, I see; okay Queenie," she says as she mocks me.
Did she mock me? I thought to myself as I look at her with one eyebrow raised. She laughs a little getting me to smile slightly and holds my hand. I look down at her for it seems we had a connection. I don’t even know this woman, and already we have feelings for each other, or it might be because I’m vulnerable, and I need a distraction. Maybe it’s both. Couldn’t it be, right?
"I’m sorry Queenie. I- I just find your beauty to be intoxicating" she says as we share a gaze.
I don’t know if that was meant as a compliment, or she was insulting me. Whichever; it made me blush a little.
"How rude of me. I don’t mean to insult you in any way Queenie," she says as she stumbles over her words as she gets up. Our hand’s touch as I look at her still she slowly sits back down and notices the pain I’m expressing.
"Lieutenant-" I say as she shushes me.
"Call me Miracle," she says as she moves in closer.
"Okay; Miracle," I say as I blush a little biting the bottom of my lip.
She smiles back at me as my nerves begin to settle a little. She ran her fingers through her hair as I could have sworn we were about to kiss. I’ve never kissed a woman before!" I thought as my mind was racing with so many thoughts and questions. I was a mess and falling about. I had so much on my plate to even think about. I’m trying to figure out my life while dealing with this Maxwell situation, and now THIS!; this was too much for me to handle right now, and I wasn’t even sure if I liked the same sex. Don’t get me wrong Miracle’s attractive and I think I feel something for her, but this is too fast. I just met her... can’t we slow things down before jumping into bed together? Maybe I have become vulnerable? With everything going on and all; or perhaps I’m just jumping to conclusions.
"What about Charlotte?" I said sounding confused and unsure.
"What?" she says sounding even more confused.
"Nothing..." I say as I try to laugh it off as it began to feel awkward between us.
A lot of crazy thoughts race through my head for I had so many questions as I just stared at her. She licked her lips as I imagined our lips pressed together as she’d lower me down gently teaching me a thing or two about the female anatomy. She was much older than me; around Maxwell’s age but a few years younger. She smiled at me slightly as she got up and almost left the room. I called out to her before she turned the doorknob.
She turned around as the door made a creaking sound and looked at me for I could hear my heart take over and explore right in front of her. She called out to me as she walked closer to the foot of the bed.
"Yes..." she says slowly.
I look at her as I get lost in the moment and forget what I’m about to say. Without thinking I uttered the words stay as she looked at me without saying anything.
"Stay," I say as none of us say a word.
"Please stay Miracle," I say as I lick my lips slowly.
"Okay," she says.
She stares at me as she moves closer to the edge of the bed and licks her lips. I motion the bed sheets back as she sits and lays back on that side of the bed. We stare at each other for a part of me feels this would turn out bad, and the other part didn’t care about the outcome. I just wanted protection and to feel safe for the night, and Miracle was the right person for the job.
We fell asleep in each other arms as I finally felt safe for the first time. All the stress and worries melted away as Miracle kept sure nothing would happen to me.
Chapter. 17
It’s crazy how we as individuals interact with others. I mean we follow our peers instead of leading our hearts. Guiding our minds on the right path so that we don’t be lead astray. It should be easy for us for those of color, but you’re wrong. We’d instead treat strangers with respect and call them family, but when it comes to our own, we treat them like trash. We disrespect them, fight with them, argue, bicker, stab in the back; betrayal our bloodline of Kings and Queens of our generation of color. If that was the case, why don’t we just go back to slavery, and be sold like we’re pieces of property to the white man himself? Traditional that kind of stuff works, but times have changed, and everything around it has developed to the private eye we seem to know existed until now.
Whatever you want to call it; it’s been done, and that the norm these days we seem to treat those that aren’t like family to us we give them praise and respect them, but for our family, our own flesh we push them down because at the end of the day they’ll show us, unconditional love,; but what if said for our families the "unconditional love" runs dry? What are we going to do then? Where are you going to go? Who are we going to turn to?
We were taught: when we were little always to follow our hearts no matter how dangerous, or risky, it may be. We were also told that we could be anything we wanted to be as a kid; as we grew older in our teen years we were told the same thing if it pays well, and as a kid back then you weren’t too worried about the expectations are shown to us, but as we got older expectations are all that matter now. It’s like our life is a canvas and there are many different varieties of paint, and all we must do is push ourselves to do better. When is it time to realize that we all matter? A simple thank you, or smile would make someone’s day instead of them going home and overdosing.
People these days are more worried and more concerned about how many followers do I have? Or who likes me? When all they have to do is look in the mirror and see whoever’s looking back at them. That’s who matters. That’s who’s important.
Being black isn’t an easy job for a person of my stamina. Especially, if you’re female like me. When I hear the word, black being uttered from someone of different ethnicity or color I cringe at the sight of it and shake at the thought of what they think and say about us. Being black wasn’t a chose we were given growing up. It was passed down to us by our ancestors before us. Back then, Black men and women like myself are scrutinized and stripped bare ass naked to the bone by the way they looked, talked, and dressed.
Now, there are two different sides of "black" you have the haves, and the have-nots, which by the way didn’t make it anymore better because the haves flaunted their money to those that didn’t show loyalty from the start trying to "impress the white man" never had to work a day in their life to appreciate the good their ancestors had to overcome; while the have-nots those were the ones working their asses off just to get food on the table or clothes on their backs to survive.
A few weeks later:
I arose from my slumber as the room was dark and gloomy. When I sat up, I noticed Miracle was nowhere to be found. She’s been sleeping next to my side for a few weeks now just making sure I’m safe. We’ve grown to trust each other and become good friends. She had left a note next to the side of the bed explaining that she had to get up early for work and that there’s food in the kitchen; so, make yourself at home and she’d be back by five in the afternoon. I smiled slightly as I looked over at the clock on the nightstand that read 6::45 AM. I got up and opened the curtains as I looked up at the clouds. "Damn, looks like it’s going to rain," I thought to myself as I made a face. Still; in my nightwear, I decided to soak under the hot water in the shower to wash the stress away. Believe it or not, Maxwell was on my mind as the hot water hit my face as I ran my hands through my hair and closed my eyes. I wondered if he was okay.
I got out and wore a tank top and my Riverside sweater that hung to the side and my sweatpants to match. I tied my hair up in a ponytail as I looked at myself in the mirror as some of my bruises and scares started to heal up as I touched my face. I turned on my phone to see if anyone else had left any messages besides Maxwell as several more came in at once from him. I ignored them all, and even his voicemail he’d left me as a message from Camille came through.
Camille
Bringing your car later today, so you’ll have a way of getting to work.
Shit, I forgot about the Bumblebee Burger Shack... I thought to myself as I replied to Camille’s message.
Note to self: Remind me to quit Bumblebee Burger later today. I thought as I wrote it down in my memos on my phone.
I walked out of the room with my phone in hand as I scratched the side of my hair and entered the kitchen looking around for something to eat. I looked at the time for it now read 8:30 and decided to cook me eggs and bacon with toast. I text Camille to let her know I missed her and that she could bring the car around by noonish, and like that after taking a nap she let me know she was here after sending her Miracle’s address she dropped it off. Little did we know she was being followed by a man in a Blue SUV with a red hoodie on. He had dark shade glasses that covered his face, so he was unrecognizable.
Camille parked the car on the sidewalk and got out carefully after looking both ways. The man across the street that wore the red hoodie got out the blue SUV and took his time crossing the road as he bumped into Camille. I watched from the window as I ran to her. The man in the red hoodie recognized me as I called out to her. He immediately took his shades off and saw me stare at him. It was him, Maxwell.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE DOING HERE? I thought as I stopped and froze in place staring directly at me. My hands began to twitch as he approached me slowly talking with his hands like a crazy man on speed. I backed up and tried to run towards Camille as he chased after me.
"Queenie, wait! I need to talk to you!" he shouted.
"Get away from me!" I yelled.
He grabbed me from behind as we both went down. I hustled him off me as he got on top holding my wrist together as Camille’s hand was shaking as she called 911.
"Pick up please!" she says as she starts to pace back and forth still in shock. Maxwell punched me in the face as I was knocked out cold to shush me from the screams. Camille’s hands began to twitch even faster than before; before someone picked up.
"911 what seems to be the emergency?" says the dispatcher.
"Y-Yes please can you help; my friend seems to be knocked out cold," says Camille all frantic and nervous.
"Is she breathing ma’am?" says the dispatcher trying to listen in clearly.
As Camille explains the situation to the dispatcher, she contacts the nearest police station and the ambulance to the location Cami gave. Maxwell sees Camille from a distance as she hangs up the phone; he chases her as she tries to escape. She trips over a bolder and falls to the ground face first on the grass. He continues to run after her and turns her over getting on top of her laughing hysterically.
"Bitch, you thought you could outrun me!" he says as he laughs some more.
She struggled to try to get him off her, but he was too strong. He forced her hands down as he looked at her all evil and smiled at her that made her uncomfortable.
"Get off of me ASSHOLE!" she screamed.
"You’re going to pay for what you did BITCH!" Maxwell says as he gets louder with her.
A few seconds later police cars pull up to the house as I wake up slowly rubbing my head trying to piece everything together. Everything’s a blur as I hear and could barely see red and blue colors for when I tried getting up off the ground I stumbled as I heard shouting from a distance. One of the police officers came to my rescue as he caught me in his arms and carried me to the ambulance as we walked there together. As I came too some more, Camille was right by my side as I heard another familiar voice. It was Miracle. She was rustling up with Maxwell as she pushed his face on the car and placed handcuffs on him as he looked at me getting into the police car. She then saw us and walked over to check to see if we were alright. Camille saw the way I smiled as she approached us both looking at one of the police cars driving off.
"Are you ladies alright?" she says as she looks at Camille, then at me. Camille shook her head and licked her lips as Miracle turned and saw my face and mouth busted open. One of the EMTs stitched my face up as she smiled a little at me.
"Yeah- we’re alright Lieutenant," says Camille as she rubs my shoulder to calm me down.
I shook my head in silence and didn’t speak a word for everyone had gone home and about their business later on during the day. One of the officers; officer Blanch offered to take Camille home as Miracle left with them but returned two hours later to keep me company. I had made a nap after taking a hot shower to settle my nerves and calm down. Miracle knocked on the door to check on me for I was letting Camille know I was alright. I turned off my phone as she stepped in the room with her uniform still on as she stood by the door.
"Hey, I was just checking in on you to see how you’re holding up," she says as she looks at me.
I shook my head as she stepped in further and took off her hat and the top of her uniform. She had another shirt underneath as she sat at the edge of the bed. I laid my head gently on her lap as she looked down at me and stroked my hair gently.
"Where’s Maxwell?" I said as I got up and looked at her.
She didn’t utter a word for she could see the pain in my eyes and sighed deeply. She ran her hand through her hair and shook it as I waited for her to answer.
"Miracle..." I said softly.
She looked up at me and gripped hold of my hand looking down at the ground.
"Locked up for a few days," she said.
I looked at her as I ran my hand slowly through the top of her hair as she bit onto her bottom lip with her eyes closed. It started drizzling as I gently gripped onto the back of her hair. She moaned slightly for I knew what we were going was wrong; especially, me. Even though I’ve grown to trust Miracle within the past few weeks really, I feel like I can trust her, and I feel safe with her around. She had her eyes closed tightly and gripped my waist making the inside of my legs feel with warmth and sexual pleasure. I wrapped my arms around her neck tilting my head back as she moaned the name Charlotte. I didn’t think anything of it for I didn’t want to be Queenie. Being someone else even though it was her fiancée I didn’t care. I tilted my head back as she felt up my body.
"Y-Yes, right there..." I moaned.
Miracle kept going touching my body in the right places as I moaned softly. When she realized it was me; she stopped and felt terrible for she wasn’t a cheater and she didn’t want to cause any trouble. I told her I understood, and we parted ways for the night.
For the next six weeks, I didn’t realize what was to come.
Chapter. 18
Pull me closer and never let me go, for I was once yours to love in another life. Grip me by the waist and tell me I’m yours forever. Hold me tight and whisper in my ear all the sweet loving promises of forever. Tell me I’m beautiful on my bad days. Kiss me as you mean it. Make me crave you. Make me believe I’m beautiful. It’s told that when you kiss someone, you can tell a lot about them within the first few seconds. When I first kissed Maxwell I could say he was powerful, and he took control, and he wasn’t afraid to show either. He was dominant and handled any situation that came his way; but with Miracle when she kissed me, I could tell she was caring, loving and protected those she truly cared about. I’ve only known her for a few weeks, but those few weeks turned into something I’d sure remember.
"Marisol...I," I say as I moan clenching tightly on her shoulders.
She looked at me as she stood up slowly gazing into my eyes. She rubbed my shoulders to relax me as my body felt weak as I sighed wanting her to take me. I felt a warm sensational feeling in between my legs and in between my thighs as she rubbed my ass. What was happening to me? I thought as she continued. She ran her fingers through my hair as she cupped my face. I looked up at her as it seemed the look in her eyes said otherwise. She was exhausted from a long night’s shift at the station, and I didn’t want her to do anything she’d regret sooner or later.
"Miracle," I say as I push her away as she leans in to kiss me. She swings me around in her arms as I fall back on the bed as she lands on top of me. She didn’t kiss me for she just fell asleep. I carefully got up and got dressed in the bathroom of my nightwear as I slept on my side of the bed. The next morning was pretty much a blur for when I woke she had gone and rested the remainder of the night in her room. It was Saturday; which meant she had the day off. When the sun arose, I got dressed as usual and drove to Camille’s apartment.
She greeted me with a tight embrace as she wept a little. "I thought you died" she whispered as she let go. She invited me inside as we caught up with one another in what was going on. We sat on the couch as she told me about Jason Andrews, a guy she met when on her afternoon run three days after the attack Maxwell caused. She said to me a lot about him and how they hit it off right away.
"So..." she says giving me a look.
"What?" I say.
"So, tell me about Marisol the cop!" she says with a smirk on her face prying information out of me.
"There’s nothing to tell Camille," I say as I raise my eyebrow up at her.
"Bullshit," she says as she laughs.
I look at her as she gets up and heads over to her room to hand me something. She gives me a small package with my name on it.
I looked at her then the package.
"What’s this Cami?" I asked glaring at her.
"Open it and find out," she says with a smile and sits next to me.
I examined the small package as I opened it with the intent of it attacking me as if I had enough to deal with it already. The small gift turned out to be a picture of Camille’s mother who passed away when she was six and me by her side when Cami and I were little. I cried a little as I admired her mother underneath a tree in the shade during the springtime. I turned to her as she began to tear up as we hugged tightly.
"I miss her" she whispered.
"I miss her too," I said as I held back my tears.
She let go of me as she whipped the few tears left as her phone rang. It was Jason who called to see if he could come by for a while before heading to work. Just the way she lights up when he calls she seems to like him. I stayed quiet as she hung up the phone and smiled widely as she got up and headed to her room. She looked my way as she saw I was a little sad and gripped me by the hand as she walked me into her room.
"What’s the matter love?" she says sounding concerned looking through her wardrobe.
"Nothing, it’s just-" I say as I stumbled over my words trying to find the right words to say placing my hair behind my ear.
Camille smacks her hips as she placed both hands on her hips looking at me sideways. I looked at my phone trying not to make eye contact as she took my phone away from me. I wanted to take it from her as she places it in her drawer.
"Tell me what’s eating you, Harlee," she says as I make a face.
"Cami, it’s Queenie; you know that!" I say as I correct her.
"I don’t care if you’re name was Tyrannosaurus Rex! it’s Harlee today!" she says with a little bit of tone in her voice.
I look her way as she finds an outfit and undress in front of me.
"How do I look?" she says with a smile as she turns around as I look at her. She walks to her mirror as she fixes up her hair and puts on lipstick.
A few minutes later; Jason showed up as I was getting ready to leave. I hugged Camille goodbye as I grabbed the picture and drove home. It was 3:00 in the afternoon as I opened the door to Miracles’ home. There stood Charlotte and Miracle snuggled up together on the couch as I saw them from a distance. Miracle saw me as I walked through the kitchen to get to my room. She spotted me as she got up as she sprinted up and walked towards me. Charlotte looked and watched her leave. With me; before I left Camille’s, I had gathered a few of my paint supplies and a few canvases to pass the time. I struggled a little as I tried to carry them. Miracle came up behind me and helped as I opened the door to the room.
"Careful there Queenie," she says as she picks one up off the floor. I look around me as I see her holding one of the canvases as we walk in the room together.
"I got it thanks," I said with a side smirk.
She placed the one she had on the bed as she went back into the living room to keep Charlotte company. As I was setting up, I heard shouting in the living room. I peeked out the door a little as I saw Miracle and Charlotte arguing over me.
I honestly don’t know how Miracle puts up with this... with her.
I thought as closed the door and went back to painting. The shouting between the two got louder; more so; Charlotte; as I could hear her say the words: "Fuck You, Miracle, I’m done!" as the ring she wore throwing it at Miracle as she catches it; then suddenly Charlotte slams the door as I shudder and shake my head.
I began painting for I heard Miracle in the living room sigh in disappointment as she sat on the couch. I stepped out of my room as I watched her sulk in sadness. She had the ring in her hand as she tossed it to the ground. I jumped a little as I dropped the water I needed on the floor as the glass shattered everywhere. Miracle heard it and ran to the kitchen to see if everything was okay.
"Are you alright!" she said as she ran into the kitchen looking down at me as I picked up the broken glass.
I nodded as I continued to pick up the pieces. I cut my finger on one of the sharp glass as she kneeled to assistant me and grabbed the first aid kit from the closet.
"Shit!" I mumbled as I tried to stop the bleeding.
She stood me up and walked me towards the sink as she got out the band-aid and gauze, and applied pressure to stop the bleeding as I watched her. Once she finished; she cleaned up the mess as I went back into the room to paint. I placed my hair behind my ear as I went about my business. I felt sad for Miracle that her engagement was over. I painted the rest of the night as I tried to focus on my situation with Maxwell. I grew angrier just thinking about him in general.
Not too long after; Miracle knocked on the door as she came in. I turned my head and body around as I saw her standing by the door with her hands in her pockets.
"Sorry, about the glass earlier," I said as I placed the paintbrush down and folded my arms looking at her then my feet.
She shook her head and told me not to worry; as she walked towards me licking her lips. I started to feel that sensation in my legs again as I tried to keep still. She saw the painting as we talked amongst ourselves trying to keep our minds off of her Charlotte and Maxwell. We mostly talked about my portrait of a little boy looking up at the stars with his father by his side. She liked the details and colors as it captured a certain crowd.
"Harlee...." she says as I stop what I’m doing and looks at her.
"Y-Yes?" I say as she moved in closer to me placing her hand on my shoulder rubbing it up and down.
She didn’t say much as she stared at me and then the painting. I could tell something was troubling her, but I didn’t want to push it, nor pry it out of her. She cupped my face and smiled a little. The bruises and scars on my face started to clear up as I turned away. I walked across the room as I folded my arms looking out the window and didn’t say anything.
"Queenie..." she says softly as she licks her lips slowly.
She walks over to me and wraps her arms around me tightly as I rest my head on her chest. What is happening? I say to myself as my mind must have a million and more questions in my head. She turns me around as our eyes share a gaze. I lick my lips as my heart begins to race ten times faster than before.
"Harlee..." she says softly.
"Marisol...." I say as I take a breath.
Before you knew it, she kissed me so softly and gently I felt my toes curl and spine straighten up as my eyes fluttered and muscles relax as our lips pressed together as she wrapped her arms around me making me feel safe.
What have I gotten myself into......
Chapter. 19
I.... kissed a girl, and I like it. She.... her lips, was so soft, I didn’t want to pull away. I knew that if we took it further, she’d regret it and not want to do anything or be bothered with me. Sure, it’s been a whole month, and I’ve grown to trust her in a way that it’s comfortable for us to interact with each other, but this was wrong. Did this make me gay? Was I now becoming a lesbian? Couldn’t I be, right? Her lips were still pressed hard against mine as her hands clasped tightly against my hip that made me feel a certain way. What was going on! I thought as my eyes widen widely as they slowly closed again. I gasp as she wrapped her arm around my body that sent chills down my spine down between my legs.
Oh, God!
She backed me up against the wall having me cornered as she pulled away placing her hands above me as I looked up. Lord Jesus! I thought as I swallowed and couldn’t find the right words to say. Definity something worth crossing off my bucket list. She moved closer and lifted up my chin as I still couldn’t talk. She felt me up as she cupped my breast as I watched her motions. My hand gripped onto hers as I pushed it away.
"What’s wrong?" she says as she stares at me.
I didn’t say anything for a while as I gazed into her eyes. I wanted her to kiss me again, but I didn’t want to make the same mistake with her as I did with Maxwell. When Maxwell would be too busy, I’d paint and distract myself from the feelings I’d experience, but Marisol makes it so hard. I’ve overstayed my welcome in her guest room, she and Charlotte have called it quits, and that’s all because of me. Maxwell is in lockup for god knows how long, and... I don’t know what to do. What does this mean exactly? Apart of me still doesn’t know what I like. I haven’t necessarily lived yet. I haven’t been able to come to terms with why Maxwell did what he did, and I don’t know what I like, or don’t like. I mean I know I love to paint, and I know I want one of my pieces to feature in an art gallery, but with myself. I’m not sure if I want to be just contempt with all of this.
All I know is that I loved being kissed by her.
"What about Charlotte?" I said to her as she backs away giving me space.
She touched her forehead and sighed deeply as she sat at the edge of the bed.
"What about her Harlee?" she says sighing deeply.
"Isn’t she your fiancé?" I say walking towards her.
"Yeah... she is" she grunts this time and falls back placing the hands on top of her face.
I looked at her and waited for her to talk, but she just laid there. Saying nothing I didn’t have a good feeling as I grabbed my bags and walked out of the room. She chased after me as my hand grip the doorknob she gripped onto my wrist.
"Wait, Harlee!" she says as I take in a breath.
My back was turned to her as she let go of me. She moved in closer and kissed my neck as I fluttered my eyes repeatedly feeling so warm and the chills turned into goosebumps as she ran her hands up my arms. I turned around and faced her with my head down.
"Don’t... Marisol." I said sounding sad.
She lifted my head as our eyes met. I wanted her to kiss me again, but I didn’t want to sound desperate. I had a lot to think about with everything going on I didn’t know what to do. She stared at me until I let go and went out of the room as she followed behind. I closed my eyes tightly for images of Maxwell and Marisol replayed in my head like a broken record player. When I made it to the door, she called out to me so loud it echoed the whole house. My hand was on the doorknob as I took in a breath.
"Harlee...." she says.
I didn’t want to turn around and face her for she’d see the tears on my face and pain in my eyes. Is this what it’s like when you like someone? I thought to myself as I hesitated to turn the doorknob. My heart was beating ten times as fast for I couldn’t move a muscle even if I wanted too.
"Harlee..." she voiced.
I hung my head down low and dashed out the door and to my car where I managed to open the door and get in. My hands were shaking with nerves as I couldn’t put the key into the ignition. I took a huge breath and closed my eyes. When the key went in, I turned on the radio and looked in the mirror in front of me, but Marisol knocked on the window next to me that made me jump a little. She called out to me for I looked at her and didn’t say a word.
"Harlee, let me talk to you. Open the door," she says looking at me as I stare at her.
She looks at me and waits for I just sat there in the car frozen from the sight of her. I didn’t know what to do. My body stood still as I just sat there.
"Open the door Harlee," she says again but louder than before.
She sighed and placed her hands on her hips as she looked around to see if anyone would notice. I gave it some thought as I finally was able to feel my heartbeat. I took another breath and opened the passenger side door. She saw and sprinted to the other side and got in. I looked at her as she locked her hand looking at me.
"Har- I mean Queenie; what’s gotten into you?" she says as she turns and looks my way.
I place my hair behind my ear and stare in the opposite direction as I see a lady walking her dog on the sidewalk listening to music. She calls out to me as I look at her.
"Talk to me Queenie; you can trust me," she says as she places her hand on top of mine and rubs it gently. I start to feel a certain way and pull away from her as I give her a look of doubt.
"Can I though?" I said softly.
"Yes, you can; what made you think you couldn’t?" she said sounding keen.
She faced me raising her eyebrow and rubbed my hand. I looked at her as my facial expression changed, and I cried a little. I pulled away as she stroked my shoulders embracing me in her arms. I hugged her back resting my head on her shoulder as I cried softly some more. Once she let go, she stared at me and waited for me to talk. I stayed silent for a while until I had enough courage to speak. I was afraid. I couldn’t move.
She touched my shoulder as I jerked away feeling unpleasant and uncomfortable at the least. I wanted her to know how I felt about her, but I didn’t want to sound distraught. I placed my hands on the steering wheel and frowned. "Get out!" I yelled as I squeezed on tightly onto the wheel turning my head sideways. "Get out!" I said but louder as she looked at me with a confused look. She got out the car as I slammed on the gas and drove away crying in fear of what’s become of my life so far.
I let down the windows as the breeze was hitting my face as my hair blew in the wind with it. I passed by Camille’s apartment for I didn’t want her to convince me why I made a dumb decision about well everything; with Maxwell, Marisol... Oliver, hell my life for Christ sake. I let the road take me wherever for all I wanted to do was scream. Things haven’t been the same since I met Maxwell and I miss painting and believe it or not I lost my dad. I haven’t seen him since my parents split up and I needed to see how he’s been.
After my parents’ divorce, my father moved to another state: Philadelphia; to start over and possibly move on from my mother who he loved to death. Once he settled in after a few months, he called me up forgave me for the things he said to me, but that made me feel and think about my mother and how I can’t seem to forgive her. It’s a shame because when I was little, I would hate my mother for leaving my dad the way she did and resent her for all her wrongdoings. Just thinking about it now makes me a fool because during, the time when I was abusing drugs and alcohol I wanted to not forgive her for hurting the man she thought she loved. Now, I can’t seem to forgive her after all these years.
He then moved closer to be around me which made me happy because that’s when he met Katerina O’ Riley from Brooklyn, NY. I met her one summer when my dad came to visit. He seemed happy with her, and I liked her. She made him happy. They moved in together after being together for two years. A call came through my phone as I was on the highway driving to Brooklyn since I was around. It was Marisol. I glanced at it as it continued to vibrate and ring at the same time as I was driving and didn’t want to get in an accident.
It rang a few more times as I adjusted myself trying to keep the focus on the road. I turned the radio on to keep my mind at ease and calm my nerves. I bit the side of my lip because there was a traffic jam on Route 70 and I needed to merge into another lane. The time read 4:30 pm as I thought to myself of course "rush hour" I looked out the window as I stuck my head out and saw dozens of cars lined up front and back, so there was no way I could move. "I’m going to be here for at least an hour," I thought as I sighed deeply.
I was in a tight situation, so I turned down the radio and grabbed my phone as I received 12 text messages from Marisol, and Camille. I rolled my eyes in frustration as to why Miracle would even consider contacting Camille when all she does is worry about me. It pissed me off for sure. Another text appeared from Oliver as I smiled a little. Traffic was still slow as no cars seemed to move. I texted Oliver back and gave him a smiley face along with my message. About an hour and a half past and I were able to exit the "traffic catastrophe" as I rolled my eyes and proceeded to merge.
It was getting dark as I pulled into my dad’s garage when I stepped out I could see a blue Prius. On the sidewalk was a white Toyota Corolla 2011 that belonged to Katerina; but surprisingly, there was a car seat in the back. My dad drove a silver 4X4 Range Rover 2000. "The only person I knew with a blue Prius was my mom." I thought as I grabbed my phone and other belongings and rang the doorbell confused.
"What was going on!"
I was about to turn back around and walk to my car as I rang twice, but no one answered the door. My back was turned as I heard a familiar voice say my name. When I turned around it was Katerina and.... my mother laughing and talking to each other. I looked at them as I began to feel sick to my stomach and confused about what was happening. My dad came minutes later kissing Katerina on her cheek and hugged mom like... like they were friends. I couldn’t believe what was happening.
"Why Harlee, don’t just stand there give your mother a hug," says Katerina as she places her hand on her stomach.
I must have missed something the last time my father and I talked. Katerina pregnant, my father and mother in the same room since the divorce, and well my mom-friendly? "What," I thought to myself as I widen my eyes still in shock more amazed. My mother Willow wraps her arms around me hugging me as she smiles and pats my back. I stand there looking at her all confused. The shades cover my face from the buries still left on my eye. I hug my mom as she let go.
"Willow, stop hovering her Harlee’s not a kid anymore. says my father as he looks at me then my mom who was straightening my lipstick and analyses my flare dress with a black jacket as she straightened that too.
"Oh, Michael stop that. I haven’t since her in so long. I’m just so happy to see her." says Willow sounding all happy and excited. She tried to take off my shades as I pulled away.
"Mom, what are you doing here?" I said as I faced her.
She sighed and checked her phone ignoring my question. I asked her again, and she said she dropped by to give Katerina a few baby clothes as I turned in Katerina’s direction. She also said she wasn’t staying long for she had to drop off the boys to soccer practice. She hugged Katerina and me and waved goodbye as she got in her Prius and drove off.
I watched her drive off as my dad asked what I was doing here. I merely forgot as he invited me in. Katerina greeted me with a hug as I looked at her. "She looked to be about seven months" my eyes widened in the sight of seeing her stomach. Katerina stands to be about 4’11 in height, and she has green eyes and grinner’s hair long that falls to her back. She giggled as I kept staring at her stomach.
"I’m sorry, it’s just... I didn’t know you were." I say as I place my hand on my forehead.
Katerina sits on the couch with her hand on her belly as my dad helps her. He looks at me as I sit in silence.
"Is everything okay pudding?" he tells me as I look around the living room.
I look his way as I shake my head. Katerina studies me as she smiles.
"How many months are you?" I say sounding curious.
"5 to 6 months," says, Katerina, as my dad sits next to her handing me lemonade.
"Thanks," I say with a smile as I take a sip and set it on the table.
My eyes widened once more as I look at her then my dad. I take off my shades as the attention goes straight to me and off Katerina.
"Harlee... dear, what happened to your face?" Katerina says as she gives a concerned look.
My father does the same as he begins to grow agitated. I stayed silent and drank some more of my lemonade as the tension in the room got awkward.
"That’s what I came here to talk to you about."
Chapter. 20
I didn’t mean to hurt her. I loved Harlee more than anything. When I met her, I knew she’d be special? You know that feeling you get inside when you like someone and it just won’t go away, or you can’t shake that feeling inside when you see that person smile. That’s the feeling I feel for Harlee. While getting to know her all those months; yes, I do admit I was married at the time to Alexandria, and we have a three-year-old together, but I had problems with and in my marriage, to begin with, way before Harlee even came in the picture. No one’s perfect, and neither was she. Harlee had her troubles and doubts with me, her friends, and with herself.
We started out as friends, but as the friendship progressed I saw something in her that Alexandria lacked: a kind heart. My wife Alexandria Rivers-Morris and I met our third year in grad school and fell in love right away. She went to school to get her bachelor’s degree in business marketing; as for me, I got my master’s in communications. After grad; my father Andrew and mother Lynette split up and went their separate ways. It was hard on me, and I had an awful first year as co-CEO at my father’s company, but Alexandria helped me through it. You could say Alexandria, and I were high school sweethearts all the way up until graduation in college, so when I made CEO officially, I proposed to her and she was thrilled. By that time, we had known and dated each other for five years, so it was time. We tried getting pregnant, but every time we’d come close, or she’d come close she’d miss carrying.
We had been married for ten years and had stopped trying to get pregnant because of all the meetings and late-night stays at the office. Not to mention she and I’d be too busy with the schedules we barely even saw each other and drifted apart from each other as well. On our wedding anniversary I decided to surprise her and take her out to eat later that night we decided to try one more time and two weeks later she and I were blessed with our daughter Rain-Marie Roseman.
Now that’s she’s three; Alexandria decided to move back to the islands while I stayed behind to finish up a project my father and I were working on together. Alexandria agreed to leave me and take Rain-Marie since her and I didn’t quite love one another anymore. I was lonely without my wife and daughter by myself every chance I got to look at all the beautiful memories we shared together, and it was hard to readjust to everything and everyone. It was lonely living in a big mansion, and sleeping in a king size bed, but that had all changed when I met Harlee Ramirez.
She was so beautiful, an intelligent woman I had ever seen in my life. I had viewed her around the town a few times but never dared to talk to her, but one day I saw her jogging in the park I built up the strength to speak with her, and that’s where she and I started talking more. She told me about her life and how her parents split up when she was young and how she loved to paint. I knew I had to have her. Within two months we were dating, and the relationship between Harlee and I started out as pleasant, but as the months went by, she started noticing a change in my behavior.
She had told me once before that she had never been intimate before with anyone ever which I respected and told her: whenever you’re ready to let me know. A few months later she was ready, and the sex between Harlee and I was better than I expected even for her, but she ran out once it was over I didn’t know what it was. I thought I scared her away. When she found out about the marriage, she was heartbroken. She never confronted me about it, but I remember I invited her out for a special dinner and she didn’t want to go. Maybe it was because she was sick and didn’t want to be bothered, but when I came to see her, she still didn’t want anything to do with me. When I went home that night, I had to figure out what could I have done that she didn’t want to be bothered, and that’s when it hit me. She knew I was married.
When I told her about it, she stayed with me, but what changed in our relationship was it got physical. During the time I was married to Alexandria I had put my hands on her a few times, but that was by accident. Relationships aren’t always perfect. There are times when Alexandria and I would argue and Harlee, and I would say a few words back and forth. No one’s perfect. What got Harlee irate was the fact she couldn’t be around me knowing what she knew about Alexandria and me.
I would beg and plead her to talk to me and tell me herself, but she just wouldn’t. I have a terrible temper that I’m not proud of, so one day I hit her, and that just became the norm for Harlee. I felt horrible inside knowing what I was doing wasn’t okay. I tried to control it, but Harlee makes it so hard. What she knew about me knowing that I lied to her and kept telling her what she wanted to hear wasn’t right nor okay. I abused her and hurt her.
She called the police on me because of how bad it got between us, and I spent one night in lockup. I’ll admit I was mad and wanted to talk to her about it, but it just kept getting worse. Every time I’d try and talk to her, she and her friends would threaten and call the police, and I’d be back up in jail. It sucked being away from her, and I missed being around her. She had moved on from me and was being protected by a police officer.... female. Her name was Marisol Renée Simmons. Saying her name makes my insides quiver with the desire of wanting to hurt her. She’s been a police officer for over ten years and seeing her with Harlee made me want to destroy. I’d do just about anything to get her back.
"Anything......" Maxwell closes his eyes as he takes in a breath thinking of a memory of her.
"I love you Harlee," he says to her as he touches her face.
"I love..." she says as he opens his eyes as the memory fades.
Now I think about if she ever did love me? Or was it all a ruse?
I know she had trouble identifying herself as an individual, but that doesn’t make it right to play with someone’s emotions if they’re genuinely invested in you. She loved to paint, and I enjoyed watching her stroke her paintbrush on the canvas as it soothed her soul. Now I barely see her paint. I was released from jail after being put back in it for the sixth time as I’d try to stay clear from Harlee. She doesn’t know that I watch her when she’s sleep or watches her from across the way when she’s with her. I know she doesn’t think of me when she’s with the people that love her and care for her... but I still do.
I still do.
I want her to know that, but she’s afraid of me. I can tell when she closes her eyes I know she thinks of me and I want her to know that I’ve changed. Wish there was a way to make it up to her somehow... I want her to know that I want to make it better between us, make it work...
I want her to be the next Mrs. Roseman.
Will she say yes? Or will she turn away?
I hope not...
Chapter. 21
My father was unhappy to hear that Maxwell put his hands on me. Katerina had this look on her face that made me want to cry inside knowing that I hurt them both for even allowing such a thing. When I told my father that he was married and that I still stayed; he couldn’t bear to also look at me. He was disappointed in me that I would even consider being with a man that’s well... MARRIED! I don’t blame him; me neither.
The drive back to Marisol’s house was nothing that I haven’t experienced already. Around 11:45 pm is when I walked into the house, and Marisol was sitting on the couch watching TV, or so I thought. She wasn’t in the living room, nor was she in the kitchen. I turned off the TV when I heard moans coming from her place. I was too tired to care who it was, or what she was doing so I went to bed and called it a night. I couldn’t sleep or settle my frantic nerves for I still had feelings for Maxwell. I missed him so much; it tore me apart to see locked up. I sat up on my bed and grabbed my phone and thought about texting him.
To: Maxwell
Hey, I’m sorry for what I did, and I didn’t want to cause any trouble than I already have. I’m ready to talk if you’ll have me. I’m sorry for the turmoil I’ve caused you.
XOXO Queenie
When I pressed, send I waited a few minutes to see if he’d reply. I frowned when I didn’t get a text back and went back to sleep. I kept my ringer on vibrate with the sound down a little so that it wouldn’t wake up Marisol. This feeling I had in my stomach was telling me to stop, and stop playing his games, but I can’t seem to shake him. He was my first. You can’t just forget your first, and he wasn’t always like this. I craved him, and... I missed the way he’d hold me at night. That night Marisol stayed in the room and kept me close made me think of how much I bought this on myself.
Fifteen minutes later I received a message from him. My eyes lit up, and my mouth curled up on the sides as I saw his name. I picked up my phone and pulled the covers closer to my body to keep warm as I laid in bed.
To: Queenie
From: Maxwell
I’m so glad you’re willing to listen. I am sorry for the things I did to you. Queenie, I never meant to hurt you, you are my world. I’m sorry for not telling you the whole truth you deserve better than that. You deserve better than me. I’ve missed you so much. Please meet me at our spot tomorrow night at 9:00 pm sharp. I’ve got a surprise for you.
XOXO Maxwell
I replied to him letting him know that I couldn’t wait to see him and also wondered to myself "What was this surprise he had for me?" I went to bed finally and couldn’t wait until morning, but that didn’t last long because I couldn’t sleep. I got up and grabbed my supplies and a fresh canvas as I pained what seemed to be a masterpiece, and it was. I grabbed a long horizontal cloth and painted a picture of me standing in the middle with my arms wrapped around my body as Miracle and Maxwell held over me watching me from above. It wasn’t like the angel and devil concept, but as I added more detail to it made it look like it. I called it: Torn between Love, and Lust.
Later that evening I painted a few more paintings. I took a peek outside my door as I saw her escort a woman; who wasn’t Charlotte that was leaving the front door. Marisol had on basketball shorts and her hair in a ponytail straight down her back, and a tank top meant for men. The woman that was leaving wore a yellow flare dress and sandals, and her hair was frizzy with bobby pins pinned on the sides. I didn’t want Marisol or the woman to see me as I closed the door a little but was still able to see what she was doing. She had hugged her tightly and kissed her on the cheek as she said her name. "Priscilla"
"She’s so beautiful," I thought to myself as I closed the door to my room before Marisol recognized me. When she finally left, I came out of the place as I tried my best not to have her notice me, but she did. We made eye contact as she rushed over to me and called my name. I ignored her as I walked to the kitchen to grab water for my paint brushes. I rubbed the back of my neck as my arm blocked her view as I tried not to look her way.
"Queenie, I need to talk to you," she says as she blocked my way to the sink.
"I don’t want to talk about it, Marisol. There’s nothing you can say." I say in a low voice.
"Queenie please we have to talk about the kiss." she pleaded as she touched the side of my waist.
I gasped and closed my eyes as her fingertips pressed down on my hipbone having me bite my lip hard and moan a little. I imagined her pushing me against the refrigerator pressing her lips against mine as I grip the back of her hair as she holds me up with her arms kissing my neck then collarbone sending chills in between my legs. "What’s happening to me?" "I can’t feel this way."
"Queenie!" she yelled trying to get my attention.
"Marisol, I have nothing to say to you." I voiced.
She blocked my path once again as I moved and continued to prevent me until I was willing to talk to her.
"Fine!" I grunted. I looked at her as I folded my arms and stared at her while I rolled my eyes. She and I walked to the living room and sat down across from each other as I listened to her explain.
"Queenie. I’m sorry for kissing you and making you feel uncomfortable. It was wrong of me to have done that knowing both our situations." she says as I give her a looking raising up my eyebrow then relaxed my face as she continued talking.
"Then why did you do it? I said softly putting my hair behind my ear.
Miracle looked at me as she turned her head away looking at the floor as she rubbed her mouth downward staying silent. I gripped her by the hand as she looked up at me.
"Honestly, Queenie I don’t know. I thought if I kissed you that I could get over her, but a part of me feels like I’ve lost myself," she says as she lets go of my hand.
"By her you mean... Charlotte?" I say as I try to make eye contact. She shakes her head and agrees.
"Do you miss her?" I said.
"A little..." she said softly.
"It’ll get better Marisol. Trust me." I said trying to cheer her up. She looked at me and smiled a little.
"I am sorry for kissing you though. I’m supposed to keep it professional and do my job as a lieutenant to keep you safe, and I failed you," she says as she gets up pacing back and forth shaking her head while keeping it down.
"No, you didn’t, if anyone should be sorry it’s me, Marisol. If it wasn’t for all my Maxwell drama and if you weren’t there to save me from the chaos I’d be better off dead." I say as I rush to her trying to calm her down.
"Thanks, that means a lot," she says with a side smirk.
For some strange reason, the look on her face made me feel sorry for her, and I hugged her. Not too long after my phone rang. It was Maxwell calling; she recognized the name, and she grew angry inside. I saw the look in her eyes then glanced at my phone. I let go of her grabbed my phone as I ignored the call. She still looked angry. I had crossed the line this time.
"You’re... you’re talking to him again?" she says as she looks at me in total disgust.
"I can explain please," I say as I touch her arm as she pulls away.
"You’re TALKING TO HIM HARLEE!" she says as she raises her voice. He calls again as we both look at the "caller ID" that read the name Maxwell as I ignored it for the second time.
I couldn’t find the right words to say for whatever I assume would have been the wrong answer to give her. She looked at me as she balled up her fist trying not to hurt me. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath to calm down.
"Queenie..." she muttered in a low tone.
I became more nervous as she just stood there. She was disappointed in me for I had nothing to say that lead me to lose her trust. I grabbed my phone and bag as I walked out the door and to my car to meet him. I turned around and looked at her for I could tell I crushed her.
"I’m sorry Marisol," I said as I rushed out the door and to my car as I drove off.
I texted Maxwell and told him to meet me at our spot early for it was only 5:15 pm.
The spot is known as the "The Calhoun Cabin" were Maxwell proposed to his wife, Alexandria. They were young and in love back then; from what I’ve heard from him since reconnecting was that she left him and took their daughter back to the Islands. The Calhoun was about a three-hour drive east of here and since I had time to kill I thought to myself why not.
When I arrived at the cabin, I could see Maxwell’s car parked up on the stone sidewalk. When I stepped out of the car, I could smell the aroma of seafood and duck. I thought to myself as I grabbed my belongings " he probably has one of his chefs Quinton, and Allison prepares us a five-course meal; along with a bottle of champagne."
Although; I still don’t know why he said to meet here... at The Calhoun?
As I walked inside, I closed my eyes and took a sniff of the delicious food permeating throughout the room. I looked around to see if Maxwell was here as I placed my bags and cell phone down on the table. The heels I was wearing made an echo as I walked in slowly into the kitchen. There I saw Quinton chopping up green peppers, and onions as he placed them in a pan as they sizzled; and Allison who was preparing the seafood duck. I smiled slightly as Allison looked up and smiled. Quinton noticed as he put his hand up and acknowledged me as I made my way to the kitchen counter.
"This smells divine," I said with a smile as I place my hands on the counter sniffing some more.
The two chefs smiled as Allison said thanks.
"Has any of you seen Maxwell?" I mentioned. Quinton shook his head as Allison did the same.
"Oh, I thought I saw his car out front," I added.
"I can call him to see where he is for you Miss. Harlee?" suggested Allison as she washed her hands of food and bacteria. I shook my head as I smiled at her as she grabbed the phone and pressed 6 to get ahold of him.
"In the meantime; would you like a bottle of "Screaming Eagle Cabernet 1992" Quinton recommended.
My eyes widened as he pulled out the bottle of wine and showed me. I thought to myself: that bottle cost more than my art supplies. What exactly is Maxwell planning? I shook my head as he got a glass and poured me some.
I took a sip as I admired the rich taste and quality it had to offer. Not too long after when Allison tried to get ahold of Maxwell; he had come around the back as I took another sip. I set my glass on the counter as I went to check it out. I place my hand on Allison’s shoulder as she hung up the phone and looked out back and saw Maxwell arguing with some woman; who was his mother. I kept myself hidden as the exchanged words back and forth trying not to be noticed; when suddenly I got spotted by her.
His mother looked at me as Maxwell turned around placing his hand on his forehead as he sighed deeply, as he then looked at me. I didn’t know what to say as I just stood still and said nothing. Reason being, was because that wine was robust, and I only took two sips which made me tipsy a little. I felt so embarrassed and ashamed that I had to meet Mrs. Roseman like this.
This was going to be a long night.
Chapter. 22
What was I to think? What was I to do? His mother? Here? I came behind the door and walked up to them without saying anything that would give away anything promiscuous about my character. His mother stuck her nose up at me as if I had no class or respect for the wealthy like herself. Her name was: Lynette Chamberlain-Roseman or just Chamberlain; after the divorce of Andrew Roseman. She owned about 75% of the company Roseman Enterprises Maxwell was CEO of. I could tell she didn’t like me for she knew I was only with her son for his money, and to be quite honest and fair I didn’t think he had a lot of money until he told me.
Lynette Chamberlain; of the Chambertins came from healthy stock from her grandparents’ inheritance. She was considered middle class until she met Andrew who came from money. The two eventually, met and fell in love; got married and had four beautiful children together. Of course, Maxwell was the oldest; but alongside him was his brother Fletcher, Adam, and Lynnease who all took their mother’s maiden name; except for Maxwell who kept Roseman to honor his father’s legacy. Lynette Chamberlain was one of those women you didn’t want to get in the crossfire with. She was smart, witty and knew what she wanted. She was a businesswoman like Maxwell and Andrew but was ten steps ahead of everyone; including me. She knew my type, the people I hung around with, and by looking at me, I could tell she was displeased in my appearance.
I quietly stood aside, Maxwell as he stared at me than his mother. She eyed me up and down as her presence around me made me feel uncomfortable and overbearing. Even with just the three of us standing out in the open I could feel my throat tighten up as she spoke. I looked over at Maxwell for he wasn’t acting himself. He was nervous and anxious about his mother showing up unannounced when it was just supposed to be the two of us. I held him by the hand to settle him as he kissed me on the forehead. I smiled as we walked into the living room to discuss business. She looked at both of us as she sat down on the couch as she studied my face some more.
"What happened to your face dear?" she says as she sets her purse on the floor close to her.
Maxwell stays silent while I look his way. He clears his throat while rubbing his nose. Lynette waits patiently for me to respond. I place my hair behind my ear to distract myself from making eye contact.
"I uh.... hit a wall carrying boxes for my friend Camille," I said as I bit the side of my lip trying not to give away the truth.
Maxwell looked my way as he placed his arm around me squeezing my shoulder slightly while smiling trying not to let his mother know the truth. She looks me up and down and sees more bruises like the one on my face all over my arms, legs, and parts of my body; as I try to calm down. Maxwell lets go of me and gets up and walks to the kitchen.
Lynette looks at me as I try to speak, but she cuts me off.
"So, Mrs. Chambertin..." I say, but she puts up her hand to cut me off.
"Sweetheart; I’m not naïve. I know what’s going on here," she says calmly.
"You do?" I said nervously.
She shook her head yes as she turns her head towards the kitchen seeing Maxwell on the phone. As soon as she turned her head around, she saw me within my head down not saying anything as I was playing with my fingernails. I look up at her as she gets up and walks towards me. She grabs her purse off the floor and grabs my hand as we walk towards the bathroom.
"Follow me, dear," she says as we walk to the bathroom.
"Name’s Harlee Mrs-" I said as she corrects me.
"Call me Lynette Harlee," she says as she smiles.
"Lynette..." I said quietly.
As we made our way into the bathroom, she puts me in front of the mirror as she grabs a small towel and dabs it with warm water and places it on my eye and dabs gently. She pulls my hair back and then touches my neck that had the bruises as well. Her face expression changed as she then examined my body that had more of them scattered all around. I looked at her for I know she knew who did this, and lying about it wasn’t helping me.
"How long?" she says in a soft tone.
I turn her way and look at her then my bruises. She rubs my face as I flinch away.
"Dear lord Harlee...." she says as her voice raises giving me that look my mother gives me when I’ve done something wrong.
"That long?" she says trying to make eye contact with me.
I turn away from her and fold my arms with my head hung low.
"Harlee look at me; how long has my son been hitting you?" she asked with the tone in her voice.
It takes me a while to look at her when I was frightened by Maxwell as he knocked on the door. Lynette stayed silent to be had informed us dinner was ready. He saw his mother and I standing in the bathroom with a wet towel in his mother’s hand and me; trying to button up my top as he and I made eye contact. He breathed profoundly holding onto the wall as he smiled slightly.
"Coming mother?" he uttered.
His mother looked at me as I looked at him as she followed him to the dining room where the table was set. I picked up as much as I could out the bathroom and threw what I could away as he came back and cornered me against the wall.
"I swear Queenie; if you said anything to my mother about those-" he said as I cut him off.
"I didn’t I swear... Maxwell, I didn’t." I said nervously as my heart began to race.
He looked me in the eyes and demanded I keep my mouth shut and not say anything to his mother as we walked towards the dining room where Lynette sat, and Allison and Quinton were placing down the essentials for dinner. I sat down at the table as Lynette requested I sit next to her. I look at Maxwell who stared at me as I sat down next to her. She kept a close eye on her son as he sat across from me.
"So, when were you going to tell me about Harlee son?" says Lynette as she picks up her wine glass and takes a sip.
I stared at Maxwell for he looked up at both of us and smiled. He picked up his fork and knife as she and I did the same as we all ate the food that was prepared for us. He didn’t say much as we all talked amongst ourselves at the table. I studied and admired Mrs. Chamberlain’s character as she knew what was going on between her son and me.
"Well when were you going to tell me Adam was buying me out the company for over a quarter of a million dollars?" says Maxwell with base in his voice.
His mother rolled her eyes and placed her fork and napkin on the table as I watched.
"So; you’re mad at me for not telling you about the settlement?" she says to him.
I sat in my seat for I was beginning to think that this wasn’t about me anymore that this was about: Maxwell company tanking in profit. The two start to get loud as Allison and Quinton come in minutes later to take the plates away. I had them my plate as I take a sip of wine.
"Mother, you could have at least talked to me about the merger," Maxwell says as he sighs in disbelief.
"Son; this is absurd. You’re acting like a child," she says as she walks towards the living room.
She gestures me to follow as I get up and walk behind her. Maxwell got louder and became frustrated.
"I’m acting like a child mother." he voiced walking towards her.
"Yes, you spend the company’s money on stuff that doesn’t pertain to the growth of your fathers’ company. You spend it on women, clubs, and god knows what else on Harlee" she says as she points in my direction.
I take another sip of wine as I watch Maxwell grow even angrier.
"Harlee has nothing to do with this mother. Leave her name out of your mouth; you know, I believe you let Adam merge with us because you always favorited him over Fletcher and I. Adam was your favorite son; and whenever he’d ask for money or a favor like being a part of Roseman Enterprises.... he doesn’t go to dad; because he knows dads going to say no; no, he goes to mommy... because he knows mommy’s going to say yes. What’s next you’re going to make Adam CEO and vote me out half of the company too? Or have him take EVERYTHING I’VE WORKED for?" Maxwell says as he gets extremely loud.
"Maxwell now that’s enough," Lynette says as she grabs her things and heads for the door. Maxwell follows her.
"What Lynette; you’re afraid to admit that I’m r-" he says, but Lynette slaps him in the face looking him in the eyes.
"You know why I didn’t give you the merger Maxwell; it’s because of your irresponsible and selfish. If we made you merge with Goldman, you’d blow away a quarter of a million in 2 days on women. Your father was right." she says looking after disappointment.
"Get out," Maxwell muttered.
"GET OUT!" he shouted as he got up in his mother’s face.
She kept her composure as she got even closer. Eyed him down like a hawk and not for a second blink.
"Or you’ll what... hit me, like you’ve been doing to Harlee? Yeah, I’m not a dumb son. I thought we taught you better than that not to hit women.... but I guess not. She said provoking him to react.
Maxwell stands there huffing and puffing through his nose not saying a word as he turns and looks my way with fear in his eyes.
"You TOLD her Harlee!" he shouts.
"N-No...." I muttered scared for my life as he stepped to me.
"Son; she didn’t have to tell me I knew just by looking at her," Lynette says to him as he turns around and faces her.
"Harlee gets out while you still can.... ask about why Alexandria left," she says as Maxwell stands in between us. I look up to him as I could see his veins pop from his neck. I stayed silently scared of what to say and do.
Lynette; his mother grabs her coat and heads for the door as she closes it behind her. Maxwell stands there for a few moments collecting his thoughts as he tries to calm down. I, still standing behind him, fold my arms with this confused look on my face as he looks at me. He comes closer to me as I finally have enough courage to say something.
"What happened to you and your wife, Alexandria?" I say.
"Harlee.... come on I told you what happens-" he says as I cut him off with my hand in front of his face.
"Don’t!" I said irately.
I looked him in the eyes as he stared at me like I lost my mind or worse. My heart was pounding so loudly that it was clouding my thoughts. I stared at him with my eyes squinted tightly, and arms crossed he tried to get me to change the subject.
"Tell me what happened, and the truth this time." I voiced.
"I didn’t bring you here to talk about Alexandria or my mother for that matter." He says as he sighs deeply.
"Don’t do this Maxwell; you always do this," I said sounding confused more than ever.
I looked at him with one eyebrow raised and was curious to know what he was up to. He changed the subject, and I forgot what I was even mad about. I hated this feeling knowing what I know and about what his mom told me in the bathroom. I wasn’t sure how to handle this, but I know I wasn’t going to let him change me.
Maxwell sighed deeply placing his hand on his mouth as I just stood there not saying a word.
"I’ll tell you everything you want to know, but first," he says to me as I inhaled through my nose slowly as we stared at each other.
I checked my phone for Marisol had called me and left several messages wanting me to come back. I turned off my phone as I saw Maxwell on one knee with a box in his hand as he stared at me directly. I gasped as he opened the box.
In the box was a ring. Not just any ring an engagement ring. It was nine carrot silver O’Riley addition. That cost more than Bumblebee Burger Shacks salary put together. I stared and admired it as he licked his lips and waits for me to say something.
"Will you do me the honor Harlee Quinzel Ramirez; in becoming my wife?" he says as I look at him and then the ring then back at him.
I didn’t know what to say or do.
My mind was everywhere. I stood there for a moment stuck on what to say.
What was I to do?
Chapter. 23
A few weeks had passed by, and I still had the ring Maxwell gave me. Miracle and I have been getting close after I came in that night back from the cabin. Miracle had surprised me with a locket that had my name inside it and a picture of her and I that week we went to the park. So far, no one knows that I’m engaged to Maxwell and I’d like to keep it that way. Some days I try not to think of Maxwell nor being his wife for that matter. Other days when I’m with him, I tend to feel uncomfortable and nervous because I never know what he’s going to do to me. There are days when he and I are lovely, and there are other days where it gets a little out of hand. He continues to beat me and abuse me and acts as if I’m worthless. I cover up the bruises that appear when I’m around my friends and Miracle. I can’t escape his embrace even if I tried.
Being around Miracle has changed my life for the better; I think...
I don’t know if I’m a lesbian quite yet, but I do know that when I’m around her, I smile and few happy. I know that she won’t judge me for doing what I love and just being free. I started painting again and getting better at it. She and Charlotte talk, but as to getting back with her, that’s still undecided now. They are still good friends and will always love each other no matter what. When Marisol gave me the locket, my eyes lit up in amazement and filled with tears of joy. I never take it off. I try very hard keeping it hidden from Maxwell when I’m around him. If he asks, I say: it’s a gift my dad gave me. He lets it slide from time to time. I feel an ounce of regret speaking yes to him.
I couldn’t believe it. Maxwell proposing to me? This can’t be real? This must be a dream? This wasn’t making any sense at all. I looked at him, then back at the ring. He was still on his knees as I couldn’t think of what to say: I mean if I say yes; then that means I’ll be his forever to control and manipulate, and abuse, but if I say no he’ll be heartbroken and angrier than ever. Not to mention Camille, Oliver, Zoey, and Marisol... Marisol’s going to hate me. I thought to myself as I studied the ring some more.
He got up off the floor taking the ring out of the box as he stepped closer to me and touched my hands. I looked at him for I was afraid to commit to someone who doesn’t love me. I don’t even know if I want this??? I thought as I closed my eyes picturing being his forever. Allison and Quinton came out of the kitchen watching us from a distance as I still couldn’t make up my mind. I took a breath and said yes. Oh boy, why did I say yes? I thought as I bit the corner of my bottom lip as he placed it on my left hand. Allison couldn’t stop crying with tears of joy as she covered of mouth and smiled with her eyes. I, on the other hand, couldn’t believe that I said yes.
I studied the ring as it sparked and glowed from the angle I had my hand. I thought of all the possibilities of hiding it from my friends, my mom, and dad, Katerina.... and Marisol. What is she going to think of me now that I’m engaged to my abuser?
We walk back into his house as he turns on the light. Pork-chop rushes up to us barking and jumping around like he hadn’t seen us. I miss Pork-chop he was always willing to protect me from any danger. I greeted him with a rub behind the ear and a hug as I bent down and gave him one. Maxwell carried my things from the car to our old room where I’d be staying apparently; as I went to the bathroom to settle in for the night. I began to get a migraine as I looked in the mirror as it started pounding the side of my left eye. I placed my hand over it to apply pressure as it got worse.
"Maxwell..." I said softly
"Yes; Harlee," he says to me in a tone so sweet I forget what to say next as he entered the bathroom. He stood by the entrance as I watched him.
"Can we talk about this?" I said as I rethink my decision.
He looks at me for if he was about to hit me; instead, he rushed over to me as I almost fell to the floor. Luckily; he was able to catch me in his arms as I fell back. "I got you," he said as he swooped me up in his arms and carried me to the bed. I awake moments later with Maxwell hovered over me placing a wet rag on my forehead head. He smiled at me as I sat up.
"Are you okay?" he says.
"Maxwell.... what happened?" I said looking around the room.
"Harlee, I’ve been doing some thinking, and I know the pain I’ve caused you I shouldn’t have nor did I intend to hurt you like that. All I’m trying to say is... I love you." he says to me as he kneels to my level and holds my hand as I try to figure out what happened.
"Maxwell?" I said in a soft tone.
He placed his finger on my lips shushing me as he kissed me as he held the side of my face. I closed my eyes as our lips pressed together as I held his hand against my face as we took a breath and as he cupped my breast with his other hand I gasped softly as he said my name. I moaned his name as he looked at me. I couldn’t understand what was going on as I asked him.
"Maxwell, what’s happening?" I said to him for the fourth time.
"You fainted," he says as he looked at me.
I place my hand on my head as I saw the ring still on my finger.
I took a deep breath as I got up out of bed and walked to the bathroom. Maxwell followed behind. He wrapped his arms around me as I melted in his arms. Couldn’t I say "I love you" back to him? Why couldn’t I repeat it? I mean yeah, he’s hit me several times, but why is this any different? I let go of him as I made it outside to my car.
"Where you are going?" he says as he follows me.
"I-I need some air," I replied as I drove away.
I needed to get away from all this craziness, all this madness, all this... this chaos. The thought of saying yes to Maxwell made my stomach turn and want to throw up my lunch. Camille and the rest of them are going to chew me into pieces. Why did you say yes Harlee; after all, he’s done to you this past year? Why would you want to marry him? I said to myself as I let down the windows and made a sharp left turn into my lane. A call came through my phone as I jumped as one guy behind me yelled and flipped his finger up at me.
Luckily, I was at a red light as I grabbed my phone it was Camille. I answered it as she sounded upset. I told her I’m five minutes away as I proceeded straight as the light finally turned green. When I made it to her house, I parked on the sidewalk as I took off the ring and placed it somewhere inside my car so that way I don’t get chewed out by my friends. When I got out, I noticed Marisol’s’ car parked in front of mine as I rang the buzzer. My heart was pounding ten times faster as I looked behind me looking at Marisol’s’ vehicle. I felt the door unlock ad it buzzed as Camille let me up.
As I made it up to her floor, Marisol opened the door as I just stood there in silence as she stares at me.
"How’d you know it was-" I said as I saw her stare at me holding onto the door.
"I saw you come up and figured I’d save you some time," she says to me as I walk inside. She closed the door behind me as I grew confused about what was going on. Camille and Marisol looked at me as I sat down on the couch.
Something; tells me Marisol told Camille about Maxwell.
Meaning; I’m in deep shit...
"Queenie...." says Camille as she looks at me then at Marisol who had her arms crossed who looked at me.
My heart started pounding out its chest as my palms started sweating. I couldn’t stand the thousands of eyes staring me down, or maybe I was growing paranoid by just the silence in the room. I tried not making eye contact with Marisol who just stood behind me. It was like she wanted me to admit going seeing Maxwell. I couldn’t forgive myself for saying yes to him... to that monster.
"Before you say anything else; I just wanted to say..." I said as I hesitated.
Marisol and Camille looked at themselves then at me as I took in a deep breath.
"Say what? Queenie?" says, Camille, as she makes a face.
I shake my head and tell her it’s nothing as I look Marisol’s way. No one says anything as I act more paranoid than ever.
"Harlee are you sure you’re alright? You’re acting strange," says Marisol as she sits on the couch next to me.
I turn her way and look at her as she rubs my back. I widened my eyes as I bit the side of my bottom lip as my heart rate increased times ten. Camille started to worry as she got up to give me some water. I honestly don’t know what’s happening to me, or why I’m acting so paranoid. I pressed my hands together and squeezed them tightly as the thought of being his forever scared me and sent me into a panic attack. I couldn’t talk nor take a single breath as I tried to gasp for air. I held onto my chest and squeezed onto the couch trying to push a sentence out but nothing.... nothing came out.
My eyes widened as I was choking on my lungs trying to breathe. I fainted and fell unconscious as Marisol tried to revive me. Camille dropped the glass of water on the floor as she rushed over to Marisol and I covered her mouth with her hands as she began to make a sad face. Marisol did CPR on me as I just laid there when that didn’t work Camille’s hands started shaking as she called her boyfriend who worked as an EMT at Grace Memorial Hospital. He was able to get to us within five minutes. Marisol carried me in the back of the ambulance as she and Camille hoped in my car while Marisol drove full speed behind the ambulance.
Camille didn’t say anything to Marisol when she found the engagement ring Maxwell gave me and stayed silent the whole ride to the hospital. I laid there hooked up to a machine with Marisol asleep in the chair next to me slumped back with her hand in her holster. My mouth was parched and dry as I turned over and saw Camille standing over me as if she was going to smother me with a pillow. The look on her face confirmed it as she crossed her arms and eyed me like a hawk ready to eat its prey.
I sat up a little trying not to wake up Marisol as she squirmed around in her seat. Camille and I looked as I wanted to prepare myself for the lecture I was about to receive from Camille on Maxwell. Marisol woke up minutes later as she saw Camille’s face and my expression. She stood up as she rubbed her eyes. Camille still had her arms crossed staring me down. I was starting to feel scared, and I didn’t know what to say or did for I couldn’t figure out why she was acting this way.
"What’s going on?" Marisol said as she yawned.
Camille looked at me as I shrugged my shoulders as to what myself. Camille didn’t respond as she just continued to stare. I’ve never seen her this upset before. Sure, when it comes between her and I tend not to worry for we’d always work it out. I played it cool as I took a deep breath while Marisol went to get an update on how I was doing and why it took forever for the doctor to show. When she left the room and closed the door behind her, I bit my bottom lip nervously as Camille looked my way. She hunched over me, and I saw anger in her eyes. I was frightened and sad for I knew what it was about and why.
"Care to explain this!" she voiced as she pulled out my engagement ring and flaunted it up in the air dangling it with her index finger as I stared at it.
"Where did you get that!" I said panicking trying to grab it from her, but she pulled away.
"No, don’t do that Queenie. Don’t play the innocent victim here; what is this?" she said as she demanded to know.
"Don’t tell me this is what I think it is...." she shouted looking at it. I shook my head and said yes quietly as I looked down.
"Harlee Quinzel Ramirez; please tell me this isn’t an engagement ring that Max-well gave you," she said in total disgust with trying to throw up.
"It is..." I mumbled.
"What was that?" she says in a sassy tone cupping her eye trying to hear me better.
"IT IS! Okay, Camille." I said as I raised my voice.
Camille opened her mouth widely in disgust and placed the ring down on the little table next to the tray as she tried so hard to calm down. I looked at her as she sat down in the chair trying to figure out what to say or do. I could tell she was disappointed in me and who wouldn’t blame her I’m disgusted in myself for even thinking Maxwell would ever want me; matter of fact even think about me becoming his wife. A few minutes later Marisol came in with the doctor as she explained to me what happened. Marisol saw that Camille and I weren’t talking to each other as the doctor gave the okay for me to go home.
Camille left a few moments later after the doctor and called her boyfriend to take her home.
"Wait where you are going Camille?" says Miracle as she catches up to her as she hangs up the phone.
"Home Marisol; I can’t stay here and handle this... Harlee," she says as she takes a breath and looks down at the floor. Her phone goes off, and it’s her boyfriend telling her through text that he’s outside.
"I gotta go, Marisol. I can’t I’m sorry." Sage says as she walks away and heads out to the car.
"Camille wait!... what’s going on," she says as she goes after her.
As the car drives in the opposite direction Miracle sees a man holding a Bouquet of flowers as he proceeds strictly to the entrance. It was Maxwell as she sees Marisol and walks past her into the direction of where Harlee’s room is. Marisol grips onto her gun in the holster and proceeds to chase him as she catches up to him and tackles him towards the ground not too far from Harlee’s room where she sees and gets up as she stands by the door. People around them start to pull out their phones and record Maxwell being arrested by Marisol as she tightens the cuffs on him; while they talk amongst themselves.
"Get off of me, you’re hurting me," says Maxwell as Marisol helps him up. Queenie sees what’s happening as they stare at each other.
"What the hell are you doing here Maxwell you have a restraining order that specifies: you’re not supposed to be within 500 feet away from Miss Ramirez. What’s going on here?" she says as she looks at Harlee then at Maxwell who keeps silent.
"I-I-I can explain that," I say as people around us still record.
"What no; Harlee this isn’t your fault there’s no need to explain-" says Marisol as she looks at me as she faces expression changes.
People around us still record what’s happening as I have trouble getting what I want to say out. I look at Marisol who’s confused and doesn’t know what’s going on as I close my eyes and play with the tip of my fingernails.
"Maxwell and I; well you see... Marisol...we...... we’re engaged." I say as I stumble over my words while looking at the ground. Everyone around us makes a sound that’s so shocking Marisol doesn’t know what to say or do.
"Engaged..." Marisol says looking down at the ground.
"Engaged...." she says again but softly.
"Yes, I tried to tell you but-" I say as I try to walk up towards her, but she backs away and doesn’t look at me.
"Miracle; let me explain please," I begged with tears in my eyes.
She doesn’t say anything to me as she tells everyone to disband and go on with their lives as they do a go their ways. She takes the handcuffs off Maxwell and heads for the exit door. I follow after her as I gripped onto her wrist.
"Marisol wait please let me explain." I pleaded as she looked at me.
"I just have one question Queenie," she says to me as she takes in a deep breath.
I stared at her trying not to break down crying as I held on tightly to the locket she gave me.
"Did you say yes to him?" she says quietly looking directly into my eyes.
"Y-Yes..." I said softly as I could feel her heart shatter into a million pieces.
She didn’t say anything as she walked around from me and into her car and drove off. I called out to her with tears in my eyes.
What have I done...
Chapter. 24
Camille didn’t want anything to do with me after she found out about me being engaged to Maxwell; neither did Marisol for that matter. I gathered my stuff from Marisol’s’ guest room which was outside on the grass. I was devastated and guilty for betraying her the way I did. I didn’t want her to find out this way; I wanted more, so I thought; if I told her when I was ready, she’d be more understanding about how I felt. It’s not like I could say no; Maxwell would have beaten me to death, and I’d be to blame if I broke his heart. I feel like he’s changed in the last six months now.... at least he’s trying to be a better man. I’m not making excuses for him; I’m just merely stating that; maybe this is a good chance he needed.
As I grabbed my belongings and placed them in the back of my car, I noticed out the side of my peripheral vision Charlotte. She had pulled into the driveway of Marisol’s’ garage as she investigated the mirror placing on her lip balm as she saw me stare directly at her. She smirked a little as she got out the car still eying me down as if I stole the last of the gram crackers. I rolled my eyes in disgust at her appearance as she rang the doorbell to Marisol’s’ home. She answered it as she too took a glance my way as she embraced Charlotte tightly in her arms and kissed her passionately on the lips. I tried not to let it bother me as much as I turned the opposite way.
"Better luck next time sweetie," Charlotte says with a laugh as I drove off.
I was frustrated with myself as tears flowed down my cheek. I didn’t want to go back to Maxwell’s nor did I want to be reminded of what I got into dealing with this mess. I drove around all night trying to keep my mind at ease. I slept in my clothes and car as I pulled into the park. I was awakened by a loud bang outside as it was Maxwell who was wearing a hoodie trying to look inside to see if it was indeed me. I saw his face covered and dripping wet when I realized it had rained.
"Get out the car Queenie," he shouted as I sat up in the car.
I had shaken my head for I heard the loud thunder and was frightened. He sighed deeply and looked around to see if anyone would notice.
"At least; let me in?" he asked as I unlocked the door.
He immediately came in and sat next to me in the passenger seat and was shivering from the cold and rain. He looked at me as I didn’t say anything. He touched my hand and asked if I was alright. I didn’t know how I was feeling. I mean I practically lost everything and everyone I cared for. Nothing was making any sense anymore, and my world was about to change because I’m now engaged.
He turned and looked at me as he looked in the backseat of my car and saw how I was living. He shook his head and grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around me to keep me warm. I looked at him and tried to figure out what the hell happen the last six months I haven’t seen him. He started taking care of his responsibilities and carrying about me. It was strange no doubt, but I worried what his deal was? He grasped the side of my cheek and smiled as I pulled away and tried to keep warm.
"Thanks..." I mumbled as I looked down not making eye contact.
He sighed deeply and took off his hoodie and shirt that was soaked from the rain. I looked away and out the window trying not to pay any attention towards him as he put on another sweater. The shower was heavy, and the thunder was loud as I heard the lightning strike.
"Queenie what? why are you here?" Maxwell says as he looks at me. I stayed silent as I hung my head down low.
I looked up in the direction of the wheel as I licked my lips.
"This is where we met," I said quietly as Maxwell looked in the same direction.
He didn’t say anything else as I rested my head on his shoulder as he held me in his arms. The next thing I know is: I’m back at his house in clean clothes and the guest bedroom as I arose. I touched my forehead as Maxwell came in with two cups of herbal tea. He handed me a cup as I grasped it with both hands and took a sip as I stared at him.
"What happened?" I asked.
"You fell asleep, and I drove you to my house because you started talking in your sleep about something; so, I drove you here," he explained.
I smiled a little as I took another sip.
I didn’t say anything after a while as he got up and left the room. His hand touched the wall as I called out to him. He turned his head around as we made eye contact.
"Don’t go..." I said quietly as I looked down at the floor as I slowly got up from the bed and walked toward him. He looked at me as our hands locked. I gasped as I took a deep breath.
I missed his touch; I lost everything...
My right hand slowly felt up his chest as my palm pressed down gently on his chest as he wrapped his one arm around my waist and his other hand gently stroking up on my arm slowly moving upward towards my hand resting on his chest. I held in my moans as he picked me up as my legs wrapped around him as my arms wrapped around his neck. He walked towards the bed and laid me down as he kissed my throat making me want him. I curled my toes wishing him to do more.
We both wanted more...
He got on top of me as he pressed his lips against mine as I gripped the back of neck kissing him back passionately. I wrapped my leg around his waist as he picked me up as he sat on the edge of the bed holding me wrapping his arms up and down my body as we continue to kiss.
He pulls away slowly and looks at me as he strokes my hair back and smiles. I take short breaths and stare at him then the ring on my left hand.
"What’s the matter Harlee?" he says as he looks at me.
I stare at the ring while Marisol stays on my mind. I get off him as I turn my back to him. I sob and cover my face with both hands. He gets up and walks up behind me and holds me. I turn around facing him as he lifts up seeing the look on my face. He kisses me slowly as I close my eyes slowly and moan. I had so much on my mind that when he kisses me everything doesn’t matter. I forget for just a short moment. I had Marisol on my mind as he continued to kiss me. I’d replace him with her every time he’d kiss me in places I know she’d increase the pleasure.
"It’s nothing..." I said as our lips pulled apart.
I closed my eyes and saw Marisol kiss me on my lips as she touched my face as the feeling in between my legs increased in pleasure. I squeezed on Maxwell’s forearms as I tried to control my urges. As I opened my eyes, Maxwell took me backhand as I bit the side of my bottom lip as we walked to the master bedroom. He stood me in the middle of the room as I instantly kissed him as he kisses back having me on my toes as they curled upward.
He wrapped his arms as I did mine around his chest as he picked me up undressing me as my clothes hit the floor. He placed me on the bed as he took off his shirt quickly and tossed it on the other side of the storey has it land near the hallway. I rubbed his chest with the intention of feeling every inch of him as he came back down kissing my neck and collarbone having me feel the sensation of pleasure colt through me like electricity as they’d touch. He thrust his bulge into my pelvis having me grip tighter on his forearms arching my head and back. I moaned indicating how I loved it as we grunted as he kept kissing certain parts of my body he knew that would excite me.
Maxwell lifted my leg and wrapped it around his waist for support as he picked me up as we switched positions. He had me on top as his fingers brushed through my hair as he kissed me thrusting his bulge harder inside me. I gasped as I tilted my head back increasing the pleasure to intensify.
"More!" I moaned.
"Like that?" he replied as he kept moving his hip up and down.
I couldn’t hold it together as I let him take me and do what he pleases. God, this man has the magic touch...! I thought to myself as he kept going. I didn’t want him to stop. My moans increased as his bulge made me soak through my panties. He had taken them off without me knowing and tossed them aside. He looked at me as he smacked my ass: as if I like it like that; and to be honest, I did.
"Do it again," I demanded as I slowly began to grind on him.
He looked at me as if I was a different person; as if I wasn’t Harlee. Truth is: I wasn’t... I don’t know what gotten over me to where sex this good felt pleasurable, enjoyable.... sexy.
"You want it?" he said to me as we gazed into each other eyes.
"Yes...." I whimpered like a little school girl wanting to be punished.
He smacked my ass harder this time as a sign of I’m going to destroy your insides with my cock. As he gave me that stare, he prepared himself. I got off him as he took the rest of his clothes off as I did the same and threw them wherever. My body wanted me to attack him and do all the dirty things all at once, but all I could do was lick my lips and do what was told of me. I had the urge to destroy him as much as he did me. We wanted each other; we missed each other.... we.... loved each other...
Maxwell looked at me as if I hadn’t done this before as I stared directly at it. He held it in his hands and looked at me as if this was my first time. I was scared for sure, but I wasn’t about to let this ruin me. I laid on my back as he climbed on top of me as he slowly thrust inside me. Right then and there; I felt his thick bulge explore the wetness of my pussy as he went in and out. I gripped onto him as he proceeded to go faster. He looked at me as I arched my back towards the ceiling gasping letting him know how well it feels.
My moans were so soft and sweet every breath I took made him pound the inside of me harder and deeper. He gripped onto my thigh as he held it close to him and went faster. I moaned his name loudly we made the bedrock and the pictures tilt to one side. I closed my eyes and bit the bottom of my lip as he kept going. He felt so good inside me; I squeezed tightly indicating I didn’t want him to let go. His bulge down below grew bigger as my toes curled up like the back of my hairs in the summer.
"God! You’re an incredible baby..." I moaned as I gripped onto the sheets.
"You like that baby," he grunted as he went even faster.
I shook my head yes as I moaned covering my mouth. He pulled it away and pinned them down as he stared at me giving me that look.
"Oh no, I want to hear those sweet seductive moans baby girl," he says as he licked his lips and kissed mine. I moan so loudly I flipped him over having me on top riding him as he held on tightly onto my waist. I couldn’t stop riding him as I felt a tingling sensation down below indicating I had reached my climax. I was having an orgasm as I went faster. He held onto my body wrapped every inch of me with his and breathing through his nose panting and grunting. We were so loud that the neighbors could hear us outside the home as my moans echoed through the house. Moments later we had climaxed. He came inside me as I felt him fill me up like Thanksgiving turkey. I clenched on tightly to his shoulders as we laid their next to each other.
A half hour past and we were in bed with the covers all which way panting for our breaths. He turned his head and looked at me as I had my hand on my forehead still thinking about Marisol, and how I betrayed her trust. She must hate me; I hate me. I needed to make things right but how? I looked over at Maxwell who fell asleep two minutes later and tip-toed out of bed and into the shower. I took a quick one, so that way I wouldn’t wake him got dressed and kissed him on his forehead as I left the engagement ring on the nightstand. I had made up my mind.
I left his house and drove straight to Marisol’s’ place where Charlotte’s car still parked in the driveway. Before I stepped out, I closed my eyes and thought about how I was going to approach the situation. I fiddled with my left ring finger as I was that I wasn’t wearing the ring anymore as I felt uneasy. Like I was going to throw up or something. I looked over to Marisol’s house and saw Charlotte leaving as the two kissed and parted ways.
What are you doing?
Are you crazy?
Harlee, you know better than this; she’s a cop. She can have you arrested for trespassing.... don’t do this!
I told myself sad I bit my lip and looking in that direction thinking of many ways to talk myself out of it. I turned her way again as I saw Charlotte drive off in the opposite direction. Marisol waited for her to leave as I watched, but she spotted me lurking. She caught my eye as we looked at each other and that’s when I panicked. I tried starting the car up as my key wouldn’t fit in the ignition. I was too late as she knocked on my window door on the passenger side.
"What are you doing here?" she said as she looked at me and sighed as I rolled down the window a little.
I didn’t have the right words to say as I shrugged my shoulders as she got in on the passenger side. She stared at me until I responded.
"Can we talk... inside?" I said to her as she sighed and looked at me.
Chapter. 25
Marisol looks at me and sighs again as she gets out the car and heads back inside. I get out my side and rush over to her as I grab her by the arm. She stops and looks at me as I let her go and stand there as my heart beats faster than expected. She looked at me and didn’t say anything as she waited for me to say something. I couldn’t think of anything to say that could change her mind. I felt terrible for what I did to her, and to Camille. I’ve done some messed up stuff over the years, but this tops everything. She grabbed me by the hand and held it as I lifted my chin and looked her in the eyes. She hugged me, and for a moment I felt safe again. While around Maxwell I felt tenser and I could barely speak or utter a sentence, with Marisol I know how I think, and I know she’d protect me. I stayed in her embrace a little while longer to understand what it felt like to be loved by the right person.
My head filled with a lot of thoughts and questions about everything that has happened in the past year. It hurts to think about Maxwell and what he’s done to me, and I hate the feeling of cutting those I care about most. I didn’t know how to make it right. I want to make it right, but how?
She let go of me as she placed her hands on the hip as she sighed. I looked at the ground because the way I was feeling I wanted to find the words to say and I wanted her to forgive me. Sorry wasn’t going to cut it. She lifted up my chin as we gazed into each other eyes. She embraced my face with her hand as I closed my eyes and touched her hand. She pulled me closer to her and pressed her lips against mine and kissed me passionately my eyes widened as a sign of confusion. I didn’t know what was happening she held me in her arms with our lips still pressed together as my body gave in. Our lips pulled apart slowly as she smiled slightly.
"Don’t blame yourself Harlee," she says as she lets go of my hand.
"But-" I said as she cut me off.
"It’s not your fault Harlee, I understand," she said to me as she headed back inside as I follow behind.
Once I came inside, I looked at her as she went into the kitchen. Something wasn’t right as I went into the kitchen to look for her. She was leaning on the wall as I came in. Awkward I thought to myself as I raised up my eyebrow at her. She called out to me as I still was in a daze. I heard my name being called again as I snapped back into focus and realized we were always outside.
"What do you want Harlee?" she said in a sharp tone looking down on me like a five-year-old with her hand on her belt.
"I-I-I want to apologize Miracle for...." I say as I stumble over my words. She cuts me off as she stares intensely into my eyes.
"It’s Lieutenant Simmons Harlee; I can have you arrested for trespassing," she barked.
"I just want to-" I said as she walks away from me and goes inside.
"Go HOME!" she yelled as I just stood there.
I walk back to my car and get in it as I sob and become frustrated at the fact that I did this.... all of this. Nothing I say or do will make up for the fact that I betrayed her trust.
Stupid, stupid Harlee... Ignorant, ignorant Maxwell... Crazy, foolish life...
I say to myself as I bang my hand on the steering wheel sobbing some more. I take a deep breath and start my car as I drive over to Camille’s apartment to see if there’s any way she’d forgive me. When I arrived at her residence, I took a minute to myself to get my words together and how everything was going to play out. Camille from what I know isn’t talking to me because of a dumb decision I made in saying yes to Maxwell’s proposal; but she’s been my best friend since I can remember, so I hope she’ll forgive me. As I got out the car and rang her buzzer, I placed my hand on the doorknob patiently waiting for her to buzz me up, and soon I heard a buzz as I smiled slightly and headed up to her floor.
I stood in front of the door waiting for the right time to knock when Jamison opened it with a towel wrapped around his waist. I didn’t say anything for when we both looked at each other as he invited me in. As I stepped inside, he closed the door behind him.
"Is Camille home?" I said patiently waiting to stand in the middle of the room.
He didn’t say anything for a while as he looked at me still soaking wet from the water on his body. I tried looking away not staring at his abs, but he made it remotely impossible.
"You must be Katie?" he said as I tensed up.
I shook my head no as I looked around the room of the apartment. Everything was different from the last time I came. The room had more stuff, and there was a divider separating the living room from the kitchen. There were tiled floors in each section, and as I looked around some more, I noticed my old room now worked out room.
"I’m Harlee, Camille’s friend," I said to him as I extended my hand out as he shook it.
"Jamison Paul" he replied with a smile.
I smiled slightly as I sat on the couch. He looked to be older than Camille explained. He removed himself from the living room as he went to change clothes. I just sat there waiting for Camille to arrive. He came back moments later as he placed a shirt over his head and walked straight to the kitchen.
"Camille’s at work right now; she should be home soon," he said as I looked behind me, but all I could see was the divider.
I got up and walked into the kitchen and sat down on one of the chairs as he poured himself something to drink.
"Would you like something to drink?" he said as he offered.
I smiled politely and shook my head no, for I wasn’t planning on staying long. He sat across from me as we struck up a conversation about Camille and other exciting things. Jamison told me he met Camille on the run in the park and how he helped her out because she seemed to be distraught and uncomfortable. The two of them hit it off right away and started spending more time with each other. I was happy that Camille found someone other than Demetrius.
Jamison’s twenty-eight and is going to school to get his masters in Sociology. I started telling stories about Camille and I as I saw her walk through the door. She didn’t recognize me at first, but I can say she sensed it.
When our eyes met, she smiled lightly not trying to cause a scene and walked over to Jamison as he kissed her. I sat there staring at them as she eyed me down. I can tell that she’s still mad at me for what I did. I might need that drink after all... I thought as I got up and hugged her.
She tried to keep her composure as we let go and stared at each other. Jamison kissed her as she asked what I was doing here as she whispered in his ear. He shrugged his shoulders as he left out the apartment downstairs to his car because he forgot. Camille closed the door as I stood in the middle of the room waiting for her to say something. As she turned around and looked at me I could tell she didn’t want to talk to me; who wouldn’t blame her I wouldn’t either.
"What is it you want Harlee?" she says to me in a tone so foul it sent chills down my spine.
"I wanted.." I say as I mumbled looking down at the floor.
"You wanted to what Harlee? "Invite me" to your wedding; that’s going to lead to your grave, well let me save YOU some time and tell you: NO THANK YOU!" she says as she raises her voice stepping closer to me giving me that stare.
"That’s not what-" I said as she cuts me off.
"You can forget it Harlee!" she voiced as she walked away.
I stayed silent for a moment until she went into her room and locked the door. I stood outside the room with my back turned and closed my eyes remembering all the silly things Cami and I did when we were younger and how we’d laugh and talk about it once we got older. I placed my hand on her door as Jamison walked in and saw me talking through the door. Camille was still standing on the other side with her palm pressed against it as she could feel my hand against it.
"I know you don’t want to talk to me right now Camille; but do you remember that one summer during Travis’s birthday party when was eight and how he pushed your face on the cake and then Jeremiah Pratt made fun of you for calling you piggy?" I said loudly enough for her to hear me.
She didn’t say anything after, but I could tell she was listening.
"Who was there for you when David embarrassed you at Katie’s roller derby?" I said.
She smiled and laughed a little as Jamison did the same.
"You were..." she said as she thought about it and laughed some more.
"Look Camille; you’re my best friend, and I would move heaven and earth for you. I know I’ve made some dumb decisions over the years, but that’s how I am, and you were always there for me no matter what. I know you don’t like Maxwell, and he did what he did to me, and that’s not forgivable, but you’re like a sister to me, and I can’t be myself without you by my side..." I say loud enough for her to hear me and understand.
She doesn’t say anything for a while as she places her hand over the doorknob and turns it slightly as I wait for her. My heart was pounding so much that I couldn’t hear myself think of what to say. Nothing was making sense anymore, and I felt utterly hopeless that I was alone. I didn’t have anyone by my side. I felt ashamed that I got myself into this mess to being with and now I don’t know what to do.
I waited a few more seconds for Camille to open her door and I stared and looked back at Jamison who just stayed quiet. He looked at me and then the door to see if she’d come out. I hung my head low and pressed my hand against the door once more and head too as I took in a breath. I closed my eyes and pictured the last time she and I were ever happy.
"I... love you, Camille," I said in a low tone as I walked away slowly.
As I made it to the door, I looked at Jamison who hugged me tightly and told me to "take care" as my hands wrapped around the doorknob. Camille came out minutes later and stood by her door with her arms crossed smiling slightly.
"I love you too Queenie..." she says as she rushes over to me and hugs me from behind.
I turn around and face her as I embrace her tightly and stay in her embrace longer than a minute as we both sobbed hysterically.
"I’m so sorry Cami for putting you through this. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen." I say still in her arms.
"I’m sorry to Queenie. I should have let you explain instead of walking out as I did," she says crying in my arms. Jamison looks at us as he backs away slowly towards Camille’s bedroom to give us "us" time.
As she and I let go; I wipe the tears from my eyes as she did the same and smiles as we hug once more.
"I thought you were mad at me?" I said as I took in a deep breath.
"Well, I was; but I can never stay mad at you. You’re like my sister," she says still wiping the tears from her face.
We hug once again as more tears flow and when we let go, we stared at each other like two lovebirds in a nest.
"I missed you," I said in a soft tone.
"I missed you too," she replied.
We ended up talking until two o’clock in the morning as I explained to her that I decided not to accept his proposal and how it made me feel like I was betraying those that I cared about the most. She asked where I was staying, and once I told her I was sleeping in my car with my art supplies, she offered my room back.
I was glad to be back home living with Camille. All I have to do is tell Maxwell is no on his proposal. Hope he doesn’t take it the wrong way.
Chapter. 26
It was four o’clock in the morning, and I wasn’t sleeping all throughout the night. I was tossing and turning trying to get my mind off the engagement. I had this dream that turned into a nightmare, and when I woke up, my hands were shaking from the thought of what I dreamt. It was Maxwell and I getting married; me walking down the aisle with people staring at me as I made my way up to him. The preacher smiled as did Maxwell then all of a sudden; Maxwell gripped me by the throat and whispered in my ears telling me I belonged to him, and that I’m never going to leave; if I do it’ll be through death.
The dream scared me too much that I couldn’t even go back to sleep. I was terrified to even close my eyes. I sat up in my bed and looked to my left and saw my phone buzz several times as text messages from Maxwell appeared. I picked it up and read them.
Maxwell
Queenie, my love, are you alright?
Queenie, please come home so we can talk about this.
Queenie, please answer. Come back.
Harlee if I scared you away I didn’t mean to upset you.
Harlee.....
Harlee..... please
I hesitated only for a moment to want to delete the messages he sent as I looked up out the window as the sun grazed over the city. I placed my phone down and got up as I went to the bathroom. The door creaked a little as Camille and Jamison were still fast asleep. I didn’t want to wake them as I tiptoed across the living room and made it to the bathroom. I closed the door behind me as I looked in the mirror and saw myself; or what I’ve become. I hated being his mule every second; he needed something. I didn’t like what I was becoming. I was turning into someone I didn’t recognize.
I ran my fingers through my long soft silky hair as I touched my face with the other. A tear fell slowly down my cheek as I placed my hand gently on it as it stopped. Still looking at myself in the mirror; I opened up the medicine cabinet and saw all of Camille’s perceptions from the time she tried to kill herself along with Jamison’s things. There were small scissors in the front as I picked them up and turned on the water slightly. I stared at the visible bruises on my face from the night before Maxwell punched me. I hated giving into a man that says he loves me but doesn’t and proves it just by abusing me. I didn’t want that for myself anymore. I couldn’t take it. I hated it. I wanted it to stop. I needed him to know that I can’t anymore.
I needed to tell him it was over...
I placed the scissors down on the sink as I ran my fingers through the warm water and began to wet my hair. I dumped the end and ran my fingers through my hair as I looked for a ponytail holder and tied my hair up.
No more
I thought to myself as I grabbed ahold of the scissors and began to cut the ends of my hair off making it shorter like before. The terms of my hair started to fall to the floor as I began to cut some more. I looked in the mirror again to remind myself of who I am as a person and that no man was going to change me. I wanted to be myself and love myself and not have Maxwell change me because of who he is. I was Harlee Quinzel Ramirez; I wasn’t a puppy to a dog that says he loves me but doesn’t. I wanted my old life back, and I needed to stop making excuses for him. I placed the scissors down on the sink and turned down the water a little as I saw myself in the mirror scrunching up the back of my hair with some of the water left on my hands as I smiled.
I still had the locket Marisol gave me as I squeezed on it tightly as I opened it and looked at it. I smirked a little as I closed it and closed my eyes picturing her in my mind. I wanted to go to her and beg for her forgiveness, or do just about anything just to tell her she was right about it all, about everything... I looked out the window in the bathroom and saw the sun beaming down on the windows through Camille’s apartment. I turned on the shower head a little to see if Camille or Jamison would hear me. Surprisingly; they did not as I took a long hot shower. I hopped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist as I did another around my hair. I opened the door a little and peeked out to see if anyone would see me.
When the coast was clear, I tiptoed back in my room and got dressed quietly. I placed on my black and white panties and tied my hair in a messy bun, but that just fell apart. I grabbed a red T-Shirt and placed it over my head and black jeans as I put one leg in at a time. Alongside that; I grabbed my phone, handbag, and keys and quickly bolted for the door. I left without waking anyone up and drove to Marisol’s. I adjusted my hair in the mirror and fixed it up a bit as I applied chapstick on and focused on the road. I took the highway to her house because I figured it would save me some time on what I wanted to say to her. It’s been over a month, and I don’t know if she’d talk to me.
When I pulled in her driveway, I sat in my car waiting for my nerves to settle before I rang her bell. A million thoughts ran through my mind as I tried to play it cool and trying not to embarrass myself. When I got out the car and walked up to the door my heart raced, and the door seemed farther away than it actually was. I rang her bell and waited patiently for her to open the door and when she did all I could hear was the beating of my heart.
"Harlee; what are you doing here?" she says in a voice so soft I couldn’t bear to respond.
"Can I talk to-" I said softly as I looked down at the ground.
Marisol stood there with folded arms and a stare so angry I was frozen where I was standing barely able to move or look up at her. She turned her head to the side as a voice beamed throughout her house as she closed the door behind her. I was able to look up at her for a moment as I tucked my hair behind my ear and sniffled as I began to weep. She rushed over to me and held me close in her arms. I cried profusely as my eyes watered and mascara running down my cheek. She kept me in her embrace as I calmed down then and only then is when she looked at me.
"I’m sorry..." I said
That was all I could say to her as the rest of the words wouldn’t come out right. I closed my eyes tightly trying not to replay that day in my head as I hit the side of it. Marisol grabbed me by the hands trying to get me to open my eyes and when I did our eyes shared a passionate gaze. She ran her fingers through my hair as she was shocked to see I changed styles. I wanted to tell her how I felt, but as I opened my mouth, Charlotte opened the door and walked up to Marisol wrapping her arms around her. With tears down my cheek and eyes red and puffy I could tell what was going on. I was being pushed aside.... forgotten.
"Now’s not a good time sweetie," says Charlotte as she eyed me up and down with her eyes giving me an awful glare.
I looked up at them as I knew what was happening, but didn’t say anything. Marisol looked at Charlotte in a displeasing manner and sighed as she told her to go back inside. I watched as she went back into the house and rushed to my car. Marisol gripped me by the wrist and stopped me before I grabbed ahold of my keys. My hands were shaking, and mouth quivering with everything I wanted to say but didn’t. I brushed her off me and stumbled towards my car painting in short, uneven breaths as I fought back my tears.
Marisol stopped me again, but this time saying my name.
"Harlee!" she demanded.
I placed my hand on the door handle as I sniffed and forcefully brushed away a tear as I turned around. She repeated my name as I tried not letting my fears get the best of me as Marisol brushed up against me as I felt what felt like a bulge in between her jeans.
Was that an...
I thought as I tried not to stay off topic. I turned around and faced her for she had me pinned up against my car as I felt her ejection in her jeans as she stepped closer to me.
What was happening?
I thought as millions of questions formed my mind.
"Harlee..." she muttered underneath her breath as she sighed deeply.
She placed her palm on my cheek as I closed my eyes and touched her hand and said her name. Millions of questions and thoughts ran through my mind as I tried piecing together information that was unclear to me. She closed her eyes and gripped my face once more as she leaned in and kissed me gently. I didn’t know what to think or say at this point because I had lots of questions I wanted to ask that seemed unanswered.
"Harlee..." she said again in one single breath.
"Miracle..." I replied back anxiously waiting for her response.
Miracle lets go of me as Charlotte came out of the house and got in her car and drove away. She stared at me sinisterly flipping me off as she drove in the opposite direction. Miracle waited until she left and looked at me. I, on the other hand, was still confused about what was happening and why? She invited me in as she closed the door behind her as I stepped inside. I looked at her as she looked down at the ground and didn’t speak. The room was silent for a moment as I sat down on the couch recollecting my thoughts.
"Miracle; what just happened... I mean I didn’t know, how could I have known you have a... why was Charlotte here.... why did I even come here-" I said sounding shaky as my breaths sounded uneven.
Miracle just stared at me and waited for me to catch a breath.
"I’ll explain everything Harlee just breathe," she said calmly.
She walked over to me with both hands by her side and sat at the edge of the couch. She looked at me and studied my eyes as she touched my soft face and ran her fingers through my hair once more. She didn’t seem upset at me for what happened with Maxwell and me, and I didn’t want to tell her by ruining this moment.
She, she missed me... I could tell.
I could tell by the look she gave me as she leaned in a kissed me again. Her soft lips crashed into mine as we shared a breath. I wrapped my arms around her neck as she picked me and swooped me around her as I climbed on top. With our lips still together she thrust her tongue into my mouth gripping my hipbone pressing hard making me want her even more. Best believe I had questions, and they needed answers, but for now, I didn’t want to ruin this moment.
I held onto her tightly as she picked me up and carried me to her bedroom. Our lips pulled apart as she kissed my neck as I gasped letting her take me. What was happening? Why was this happening? Why now of all things? I needed answers? I thought to myself as she placed me on the bed gently kissing all over my body in the right places. I let out a sweet seductive moan as I held her head down as she kissed my navel down to my thighs. I sighed and bit the side of my lip indicating I wanted to be kissed there again.
Oh god! I needed to be kissed there again
"Yes!" I muttered as I arched my back.
"Like that Queenie?" she asked. She looked up at me.
"Yes!" I said as I nodded biting harder on my lips.
She did exactly that. She kissed me in the exact same spot as I arched my back all the way up moaning her name as she crawled on top of me kissing me in places that made my body want to explode in excitement. I opened my legs a bit as she came in between them kissing my collarbone and bottom lips. She held me up as she wrapped her arms around my core still panting trying to breathe as every touch was invigorating all my senses to come to life. I wanted to do things to her, dirty words, unspeakable things..... I tried to ride her until her body went numb or until my legs gave out, but instead, she stopped.
Why did she stop?
"We need to talk Harlee," she said softly.
I sat up on the bed folded my hands starting at her giving her a look to let her know I’m listening as I touched her shoulder. I looked at her as she did the same and took a breath before she spoke. I was scared to know what about as I sat there in silence wondering what it could possibly be.
Chapter. 27
Sometimes loving someone for who they are is harder than it seems. We go around with our significant others loving them for their flaws and wrongdoings when all we have to do is look in the mirror. Life wasn’t meant to be easy; we as humans were expected to make mistakes and soon learn from them. We have our friends and family guide us in the right direction to teach us how to be a better person no matter the circumstances. The world nowadays has changed and has shown us the true meaning of acceptance. There are people different from us that can teach us a thing or two about how to love better, treat others with respect and know that it’s okay. Instead, the world feeds on hatred and negativity that we are so wrapped up in the bad that we don’t see the good in others have to offer us; especially for blacks like myself.
It’s better to hate and commit all kinds of crimes instead of knowing who you indeed are by hurting those you love. It’s not those around us we see every day or our peers we’ve grown close too; it’s ourselves because of them we can’t be honest. We as people in America are hurting from what we are influenced by daily. People are dying for being different and speaking out for what they believe in, and those that want to make a difference are too damn scared to speak out on it. Change has to come from within ourselves, we have to have the strength to say no more.
Marisol looked at me as I sat upright on the bed. I bit my bottom lip afraid of what she was going to say next. She caressed my face with her palm as I sighed in desperation in wanting to know what she was going to say. It was agonizing waiting for her to speak when all she did was stare at me. It made me feel uncomfortable as I squirmed to adjust my feet a little. I placed my hair behind my ear as I looked down at my hands. I started peeling off the fingernail as I grew tense. She didn’t speak for a long while as she licked her lips just staring into my eyes.
I had to know what she thought because the vein that appeared on the left side of my forehead started to pulsate every time my heart rate increased. I bit the bottom of my lip once more as I closed my eyes and took in a breath. I could tell that she wanted to say something to me, but she was tense as well, as she began to look down at her hands and fidget with them.
Right now, at this moment, I wanted to take Miracle and pin her down on the bed as I climbed on top moving my hips up and down, having her sigh in desire as I kiss her soft lips making her forget about everything; but I knew none of that could be done; for she was still mad at me. Sure, it’s been a month since the incident with Maxwell and her temper’s cooled down, but just looking her in her eyes as we shared a gaze didn’t mean she forgave me. No, I wanted to hear her say it. I needed to listen to her tell it so I would have a sense of clarity.
"Maris...Miracle" I said softly hoping she’d look up at me, and she did.
"Harlee," she said to me as she gripped my hands and held them.
"Why’d you come back?" she says as she faces me taking off her police uniform putting on a fresh pair of clothes.
"You," I said quietly fidgeting with nails trying not to make eye contact.
"Me!" she said shockingly.
I nodded as I looked down at my hands again.
I got up off the bed as I walked up behind her wrapping my arms around her torso as I rested my head on her back. She turned around slowly and saw me as we looked into each other’s eyes. She frowned at me and brushed my arms back as I looked at her. I didn’t know what was going on with her as I grew angry with the thought of her not wanting what we both were thinking.
"What’s the matter with you?" I growled lowering my eyebrows at her puffing my nostrils as they moved up and down as I let out a breath.
"Nothing..." she muttered.
She placed her hand on her forehead and sighed deeply as she walked over to the bed and sat at the edge of it. I followed her as I sat next to her. She looked up at me with the intention to speak, but all she did was blink. I sat closer to her as I rested my head on her shoulder as she brushed my hair away from my face. I wish we could share moments like this forever and not have to worry about my problems, but it’s not that simple. I sat up as she laid back looking up at the patterns on the ceiling. I put next to her looking up.
We sat in silence the whole night as I could hear my heart beat increase.
Bum.... bum Bum... bum
Were the sounds of our hearts pounding together in unison? I sucked in a breath to hear hers: hers was beating faster than mine. I couldn’t tell if it was because of the nerves or just me being beside her. I laid next to her and rested my head on her chest as I fell asleep. I could tell she didn’t mind for she was tired of the fighting and the secretary.
If you ask me; so was I.
I hated it too not being able to talk to her when I’m down. I’ve wanted to tell her how I was feeling, how I was dealing with all of this and tell her this wasn’t easy for me; for me to come here and face her, telling her how I feel about her, how I feel about Maxwell; how I think about all of it. I stared at her for she had closed her eyes and fell asleep.
I woke up in the middle of the night still in Marisol’s arms as she was knocked out. I put my finger up by her nose to feel her breath as she let out one. She was sleeping on her back as I tried getting up without waking her. I managed to get up and walk across the room and grabbed ahold of her bedroom door as my hand grasped it to open it. It made a creaking sound as I turned my head to see if she’d wake. She moved slightly as I opened it again, this time she opened her eyes and sat up rubbing them. I closed the door as I stood still. My heart began to race as she stood up.
"Queenie, what? Where are you going?" she says as gets up and walks towards me.
I didn’t say anything as I stared at her nervously as my hands began to shake. She faced me as she gripped my hand and locked it with hers. Our eyes met as I blinked a few times. Her other hand slowly rubbed up against my shoulder as she didn’t keep her eyes off me. My heart was racing so fast I couldn’t even move an inch. I licked my lips slowly as I studied her with my eyes. I wanted her. I thought as I pulled my hand from hers. She looked down at my hand as I stepped back.
Why am I acting like this with her?
She stepped closer to me as my back hit the door. Our bodies almost touched as she leaned in closer. I thought our lips were going to feel for she was only inches away from mine. She sighed and gazed into my eyes as I blinked again. I don’t know what to do for I was making the situation worse. I closed my eyes and breathed through my nose. She gripped hold of my hand and called out my name as she licked her lips.
"Queenie..." she said softly.
"Yes..." I said as I lifted my head.
She didn’t say anything else for she didn’t have to, her eyes told the rest. I looked deeply into them as I smiled. I tugged my hair behind my ear as I laughed some more. There was nothing else to be said as she let go of my hand and stepped back. I walked toward her and gripped her hand as she looked down. I shook my head as I tried to speak, but nothing was coming out.
"I’m sorry for the way I acted towards you. You don’t deserve that," she said to me as I gave her a look and frowned.
"No, if anyone is sorry it should be me. I should have listened to you and Camille about Maxwell, and I was so caught up in his games; I didn’t realize who he truly was becoming." I said to her as she listened to me.
"It’s my fault for going back to him." I continued as I looked down at the ground.
"No, it does not love; none of this is your fault. I shouldn’t have walked out on you the way I did, and for that, I apologize," she says to me as she lifted up my chin and kissed me softly.
I closed my eyes as our lips pressed together. A tear fell from my cheek as she wrapped her arms around me and didn’t let go. My body melted in with hers as her tongue thrust inside my mouth kissing me passionately as I kissed back.
God!, she smelled so good. I was about to burst through my pants if she touched me again. I’m going to lose it.
Our lips pulled apart as she smiled at me. I hugged her and stayed in her embrace for a little while longer. She hugged me back as I let go. She looked at me as she stroked my hair with her fingers. She liked the new style as she smiled and looked at me. Marisol frowned and walked out the room into the kitchen as I followed her. I gripped her by the hand as she turned and saw me.
"Are you sure you’re alright?" I said sounding concerned.
"No..." she said as her voice fades.
I gripped her by the hands and gazed into her eyes as we didn’t say anything for a while.
"What is it you wanted to talk to me about Miracle?" I said.
"There’s something I need to tell you," she said as she cleared her throat.
"What is it," I said.
She looked up at me and didn’t say anything once again as I grew curious to know what is it that was eating her alive. I held on to her hand tightly as I bobbed my leg up and down and grew anxious waiting for her to speak.
"What is it, Marisol?" I said anxiously.
"I’m transgender..." she says as she looks at me.
I didn’t say anything as I let her hand go and stared at her.
I stood back speechless as I walked past her in the hallway making my way towards the living room trying to figure out what she said. She followed behind me with her head down and waited for me to respond. My mind had so much going on already and this... now, this? I sat at the edge of the chair and placed my hands on my forehead. When I was able to wrap my head around the craziness of my life, I lifted my chin up and faced her. She was not only a few inches away from me but leaning against the wall with her hands in her pockets still waiting for me to say something.
Anything...
"I... I... I can’t." I said throwing my hands up in the air waving them around slowly trying to grasp everything.
Marisol looked at me as she stepped towards me trying to explain and that’s when I looked down at her pants.
"So, you have a..." I hesitated on that last one as I pointed down towards her crotch.
She nodded in disbelief.
"Yes, I do," she mumbled.
My mind couldn’t fathom the information, let alone look at her in that way. I stayed with her for over a month... I was a guest in her house. How come this never came up in the conversations we shared? I took a breath and stood still as I bit the side of my lips.
"Why didn’t you tell me about this before?" I said to her.
"I didn’t know how’d you respond at first, and then when I kissed you... I didn’t expect things too-" she said in a frantic tone trying not to look at me.
"Be complicated?" I said as I walked toward her. She nodded.
"Are you angry with me Queenie?" she said walking towards me slowly.
I shook my head no as I studied her some more.
"I’m not mad Miracle, I’m just confused... and-" I couldn’t bear to speak for I saw the bulge in her pants extend outward. I looked down and saw it get bigger as she saw the look on my face and looked down.
"FUCK!" she growled as she placed her hand over her head and punched the wall.
She didn’t leave a hole in the wall just a small dent as she un-balled her fist looking up at me. I jumped a little trying not to speak or make things worse. I tried not paying attention to her bulge as it hardened. I bit my lip as she hung her head down low.
"Go!" she commanded as I stood there.
"No!" I said as my voice fades.
"GO!" she shouted. I don’t want to hurt you." she voiced out.
I backed up against the wall as she came forward. The room was quite as she huffed and puffed a few times as her chest began to rise and then fall.
"No..." I said again.
My chest began to rise and fall symmetrical to hers as she didn’t do anything. She eyed me up and down as I touched her hand to calm her down. Her breaths were uneven as her hands began to shake, that’s when it happened; she pushed me against the wall and kissed me again. My eyes widened as our lips crashed as she lifted me up with both hands and held me up with her hips as I was able to let out a sigh. I tilted my head back giving in to all she offered. I bit my lip hard, harder as she grunted moving her hip against my pelvis making my body throb and ache with desire. I felt her hardened and tighten as I wrapped my arms around her neck as she did the same but around my body as she carried me to the couch.
She laid me down looking down at my body as she took off her shirt and tossed it to the side. I watched her as she tied up her hair and kissed my collarbone. I let out a breath as I gripped onto her forearm and I studied the tattoos that made her look irresistible. She kissed my body all over making me weak and frail as I sighed heavily. She then carried me to the bedroom and placed me down gently as I caressed her head as she kissed my breast sucking on my nipples as they hardened. I gripped onto the pillow behind me as she kissed the sides of my body then my navel; cupping one hand in my boobs with the other.
I parted my legs a little as she unzipped my pants and threw those to the side. I sighed moaning as she kissed my thighs making me squirm. She saw the underwear I wore as she traced the pattern of the lace with the tip of her middle finger. I tightened my grip on the pillow as she kissed all over the sides of my legs from the inside. By now, I was wet just from the feel of her soft lips on the outer sides of my pussy making my clit throb with longing for her tongue to explore the insides of my wet walls. She used one of her hands to toy with the sides of my underwear as she moaned and bit her lip. She could tell I wanted this, and she did too.
"I want to taste you Queenie" she grunted as I looked at her toying with the string of my underwear.
"Then do it," I said as I let out a moan.
She looked up at me as she smiled sinisterly for I thought she’d do actually that, but she didn’t and kissed me from where she was licking up slowly with her tongue making me crave her badly as she kissed my lips. I sat up as she stopped and looked at me. I gathered my pants and put them on as I walked back toward her. She looked distraught and upset for and didn’t say anything. Meanwhile, my body was bursting with sexual frustration as I bobbed my leg trying to stay calm.
Not again...
Chapter. 28
I left Miracles’ house after she had explained her situation. She embraced me in her arms as I let go and went to my car. As I started up the engine and put my car in drive, I couldn’t get Marisol’s lips or touch for that matter out my mind. She had my body feeling things I didn’t even know existed. My heart pounded as I exhaled breath and turned into Camille’s driveway as I noticed another car next to hers it was a 2001 Corvette Black with leather seats inside. I don’t know anyone one with that kind of car; I mean I know Maxwell drove a red BMW 2006 addition, sometimes he’d have Todd drive the limo, but that’s on special occasions; but this, this car wasn’t his. Camille drove a Toyota Camry, and Zoey a Mercedes, but this stumped me.
As I opened the door for the apartment, I saw Camille sitting on the couch with a woman I haven’t seen before. Her back was turned to me as I saw her face when she turned around. She had beautiful silky soft skin, eyes dark brown with a tint of tan. Her hair black, long down her back straight almost as she tucked it gently behind her ear. Her lips were puckered both equal and smooth like her appearance. She was slim thick around the hips just a little as she got up and walked toward me in a firm, proud stance. I stood there admiring her beauty. She rose to be around 5’6 seven if you don’t count the high heels she wore as they clicked across the wooden floor. She never broke her gaze from mine as I clenched on tightly to my phone and belongings.
She faced me for we were inches apart from each other; if I let out a breath, our lips could touch. She was black of course but looked to be of African descent. Chocolate; rich dark chocolate skin gleamed from the side of her face as she turned it. Camille watched us from the couch as she grabbed her wine glass from the table and took a sip of it never taking her eyes off us. I looked a mess and had Marisol’s scent all over me. I brushed my hair behind my ear and looked down at the floor. This person, this woman in front of me; whoever she was she was impeccably beautiful. She blinked at me as I stood there, frozen unable to move a muscle. I breathed through my nose to slow down my heartbeat that was beating faster than usual when I’m nervous. I studied her features some more as I frowned.
Even her tits stood up right!
I frowned in the sight of them as I stared at mine. She didn’t say anything as she circled around me nodding her head up and down as she circled back to me. She noticed the slight bruises on my face as I tried not to show any weakness.
"You too hon," she said as she spoke with a thick accent I couldn’t quite understand.
She spoke English for sure, but her English sounded broken, and her accent was all I could make of it. I covered my bruises as I walked past her and to the kitchen counter where I sat down in the chair and ruffled my hair up a bit after taking off my shoes. I didn’t know what was going on as I turned Camille’s way by the time I looked at her again she had finished her glass got up and poured another.
"I do not hear to start any trouble with you Harlee, I just wanted to- " she said as I cut her off giving her a look.
"How do you know my name?" I said
She didn’t say anything after that as she took a breath and sighed. That’s when it hit me; I was talking to Maxwell’s wife... ex-wife: Alexandria. I widen my eyes. I grabbed a glass and poured me some wine filling it all the way up to the brim and drank it down as fast as I could. It was like I was looking at a ghost or something. I had so many unanswered questions roaming through my mind. I didn’t know what to think. I poured me another glass this time halfway as Camille looked at me like I’d seen a ghost or something.
"Girl, what’s gotten into you?" Camille voiced as she raised her eyebrow at me.
"How rude of me for not introducing myself to you earlier; I’m Alexandria Valentine; Maxwell’s ex-wife," she said.
Camille’s mouth widens so much as she turned and looked at me then at her as she finished off the last of the wine. She looked at me as she downed the last of it and placed it on the counter. I didn’t say anything for I was frozen, and my heart beat so loud I was choking on what I wanted to say, but nothing came out.
"You’re... his wife?" Camille said
"Ex-wife" Alexandria reassured her.
"Oh... my god!" I said quietly in a gasp.
I walked towards the couch with my glass still in hand with a little wine left as I blocked out everything and everyone around me. Camille called out to me as she saw I took her glass and rushed towards me as she gripped my wrist. Alexandria stood there waiting patiently as Camille then gripped the sides of my shoulders.
"Harlee... snap out of it!" she yelled.
I looked at her as she says it a few more times. I finally came to a few minutes later as I turned to face Alexandria. She walked over towards the couch. She sat next to me as she positioned her body to meet me. Her legs crossed and her hands rested peacefully on her lap. I brushed my hair off my face and looked down at my hands as they shook nervously. I took a breath as she reached out to my side and covered it with hers. I looked up at her slowly as Camille gave us privacy. She went into her room to do god knows what as Alexandria looked into my eyes. She seemed to be younger than Maxwell. Maxwell’s in his late thirties, and she’s appeared to be 34 years of age. I looked down at her hands that told the truth about herself.
God!, she’s beautiful...
I thought to myself as I liked my lips slowly.
"Harlee, is it?" she said as she took a breath. I nodded.
"Yes..." I replied.
She looked me in the eyes and smiled slightly. My heart pounded with anticipation as I took in a breath as my chest rose and fell. She looked at my bruises as I saw her lurking my body and covered the visible ones.
"Didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable hon..." she said.
I disregarded her as she spoke; for I got lost in thought about what she said earlier. She had said; "you too hon" what did she mean by that? She caught my attention again for it seemed I had dazed off into my own thought and looked at her as I glanced at the somewhat scar on her wrist. She covered it quickly when she caught me staring.
"Sorry," I said as my voice fades.
She glared at me as he cupped her hand over mind as I looked down at my scar identical to her but fresher. I covered it up with my long sleeve and played with the tip of my fingernail trying to cut the silence. It didn’t work for neither of us spoke.
"Don’t be sorry, Harlee. You understand as well as I do what he’s capable of; Maxwell’s a mighty man," she says as she stares at me cupping her hand with mine as I looked up at her as she uttered his name in a single sharp breath. I flinched as our eyes met.
"How did you?" I said with a pause.
"Sweetheart, I wasn’t born yesterday. Anyone could tell just by those scars he’s been putting his hands on you," she said with a soft chuckle as she ran her fingers with my hair and cupped my cheek.
I frowned and looked down as I didn’t say anything for a long while. She lifted up my face and smiled as she continued.
"How did you?" I asked again raising up an eyebrow at her.
"I was married to Maxwell for twelve years, and you’re not the only woman to understand his control love," she said as I frowned and looked away.
She showed me several scars visible to the eye of where Maxwell hit, punched, and abused her. My eyes widened as she covered them back up and we sat in silence. I wrapped my mouth with my hand as a tear fell from my eye in shock of what I just witnessed. Her bruises and scars were over six years old for even glancing at the sight of what he did make my stomach churn and want to vomit.
"What made him..." I said as she cut me off.
"Stop?" she said intensely.
Alexandria closed her eyes and took in a long deep breath as she let it out slowly. I waited patiently for her response.
"Aubree; our daughter," she said.
"I had gotten pregnant during the abuse he endured while on top of me, forcing me to lay there in silence... as he..." she says but stops as she sobs in her hand trying not to think about it.
"Raped you?" I answered as my voice lowered. She nodded in agreeance. I reached over and placed my hand on top of her as she looked over at me.
"Yes," she says; her voice fades as silence filled the air around us.
"He’d... done say to me too." I whimpered as I began to sob in my own tears that fell from my cheeks.
She glanced up at me in shock for the raged boiled up in her burning lava erupting from a volcano. I felt sick to my stomach as we talked amongst ourselves about what to do. She went on about how they met, and what caused him to become such a monster.
She rubbed my shoulders as I told him how he and I met, and what he had done to gain his trust, and then how easy it was for him to take everything and everyone I cared about away from me. I felt at first like there was nothing to be done or stop the agonizing cries for help. Then it dawned on me; about what Lynette said: Ask Maxwell, about why Alexandria really left? Of course, he never explained to me why, so I figured asking her would be beneficial to me. I glanced up at her as we shared a gaze.
"What really happened between you two before you said: enough was enough?" I said as I tilted my head by the side.
She looked at me and couldn’t quite understand what I meant, so I rephrased the question.
"Why are you really leave him? I said.
She sighed deeply and turned me around to face her. Our hands touched together as we shared another gaze before she looked down at our hands.
"Harlee, it’s hard to explain in words," she said as she turned her head at me and bit the corner of her bottom lip.
I could tell she was holding back her tears as she bit down harder trying not to remember, but I pried it out of her the best way I could without making her feel tense.
"Please!" I urged as I squeezed tightly on her hands. She nodded as she took her time to explain.
A few moments passed by as I waited patiently for her to talk. My heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to burst into a million pieces as I held in a breath. My hands shaky, palms sweaty I couldn’t keep it together as I waited... waited... waited patiently. Then finally; she spoke.
"Once it came as a surprise I was pregnant with his baby I made a vow to myself that I’d protect Aubree from him. He promised he’d stop because a family was important to him and to me, but didn’t. He kept hitting me, abusing me, rapping me when he felt like it. When she was born; he still continued. I made excuses after excuses for him, but eventually, I ran out of things to say. When Aubree was two; he’d struck her with the back of his hand on her face. He was so angry and full of hate that I made myself promise to keep her safe; keep her safe from her father. I did what any mother would do. I packed a bag and-" she says as I cut her off.
Left..." I said as tears fell from my face for I was crying once again. She nodded.
I looked behind her and saw Camille standing there holding a bottle of water with her arms crossed as Alexandria turned and saw her.
"How much did you hear?" I asked.
"Enough.." she said with a smirk as she shrugged her shoulders. She walked back into her room and went to sleep as I hugged Alexandria tightly.
"Get out while you can Harlee before it’s too late," she said as she whispered in my ear.
I shook my head as we parted and walked her to the door. She hugged me once more as I closed the door behind me and went to bed.
Later that night I tossed and turned trying to fall asleep when I quickly ran to the bathroom and threw up. Camille rushed into the bathroom as her hands rested on the side walls as she stared at me with a look so shocking it scared her half to death. I got up from the floor and washed my hands as we walked into the kitchen. She poured a glass of water into easing my upset stomach as I took a sip. We sat across from each other as our eyes met. Her hand touched mine as she gave me a worried look.
"Are you alright Queenie?" she said as she poured herself a glass of water and took a sip as she sat back down.
I made a face as I rubbed my stomach.
"Maybe it was the wine..." I suggested as I took another sip.
Maybe...
"Maybe," she said as we parted ways. She gave me a tight squeeze and suggested I get some rest. As I made it back to my room and rested my head on my pillow; little did I know what was waiting for me as I closed my eyes and drifted into sleep.
Chapter. 29
The night was long. I spent the entire night throwing up and barely sleeping. I tossed and turned all through the night, hoping that I wasn’t pregnant with Maxwell’s baby. The talk with Alexandria made me question more about how Maxwell treats women. His own daughter? I challenged myself as I sit up in bed grabbing my sketch pad and pencils. I open up a new page and grab a sharpened pencil as I sketch only his face to the details of his eyes and mouth as I darken in the corners. It covered the whole page as his dark features glistened in some regions of his face. I sighed and signed my name at the bottom as I labeled it: Abuser.
I spent the rest of the morning drawing various versions of Maxwell until the sun arose from the window and beamed through the glass of the corner where I was sitting. I pulled up until two o’clock that afternoon. I heard a knock on my door as I glanced up at it. It was Camille in her pajamas: she wore short shorts pink with white stripes that molded her plump ass and a white tank top that also molded her with one of the straps dangling from her right shoulder as she held her mug we made back in fifth grade with a cute design all around it. It was multicolored polka dots and black lettering spelling out her name in hieroglyphics. Inside the mug was herbal tea with a dash of honey. She crossed her arms holding onto the cup in one hand leaning her back against the wall as she took a sip.
She walked toward me by the window as the sun pierced through the glass. I tried not to be bothered by it as I sketched focusing on my 18th drawing of Maxwell. I don’t know what it was that bothered me the most; the fact that Maxwell abused women, or he’d hurt his own daughter? Whatever it was, it made me sick to my stomach literally sick. Camille sat at the edge of the ledge where I was sitting with my legs folded as I continued on a new drawing. Eyes focused and fierce more so, frustrated as all my pencils were beaten down to the nub. She happened to look around her and see the drawings scattered across the floor as I tossed them. She picked up some as she placed her mug of herbal tea on the dresser and analyzed them as she covered her mouth with her free hand.
"My god Queenie," she said her voice barely audible.
I didn’t hear her as I drew lines darkening the shadows around Maxwell’s eyes holding back my tears as I tried to get this man, this abuser, this monster out my mind. I broke my pencil as it cracked in my hand. Camille just watched me as I looked for a new one. Sadly, that was my last pencil since all the others broke too.
"FUCK!" I muttered loudly covering my hands with my face as I wept in disbelief.
Camille rushed over to me and sat beside me as the look on her face said it all as I looked up at her. She tried her best to hold back her thoughts about all of this, but I know Camille, and she usually can’t hold back anything for much longer. She’s helped me with so much that I can’t repay my debt to her if I tried. She looked at me with a distraught face expression and embraced me in her arms as I laid my head in her lap. She gently stroked my short frizzy hair with her fingers as I stared at one of my paintings on the wall.
"What am I going to do" I grunted as I sat up looking at her.
"I don’t know hon, but one thing for sure you got to stop making excuses for him. He’s nothing to you," she said.
I looked at Camille as we sat in silence. Jamison knocked on the door as we looked at him come in. He had on a T-Shirt blue and some black dress pants. He had his hair slick back and styled as he walked towards Camille and kissed her on the forehead. She smiled as he too saw the drawings of Maxwell. I looked out the window trying not to make it evident that he was apparently on my mind. I was still in my clothes from the night before, and I needed a shower bad. I got up not making eye contact with Jamison and walked toward the bathroom as I closed the door behind me.
Something was definitely strange about me, and Camille scented it too. I didn’t know what was going on with me and I was afraid my nightmare of being pregnant was coming true.
I looked myself in the mirror of the bathroom as I tried to calm myself down. A knock startled me as I jumped and gripped on tightly to the sink. My hands were sweaty and heart beating so fast I felt like I was in a horror movie of some kind. They began to shake a little as I heard the knock once more. I turned my head as Camille leaned against it with her arms crossed listening in on what I was doing.
"Are you alright Queenie?" she yelled through the door as her brows lowered on her face.
I took in a deep breath and looked at the door as she waited patiently. It felt like a year had passed as I stared at the clock above the bathroom door.
"Yeah... I’m alright." I said back.
"You sure?" she said placing her hands on her hips scratching the tip of her nose.
She waited for me to answer as I walked over to the door and placed my hand on it. I rested my head on it as I took in yet another breath as I held in this one. I felt sick to my stomach as it seemed I was going to throw up again. The taste in my mouth was vile as it settled in my throat and made me want to pass out after throwing up everything. I held it back trying to peace words together letting Camille know not to worry.
"Yeah, I’m fi-" I said as some of the puke emerged from my throat and onto the floor.
Camille made a sound along with creating a face as I rushed over to the towel and threw up lots more as it came up. I made gagging noises to emphasize the amount of pain and vomiting I had to do. It was awful, and by the time I finished, I felt sweaty all over and cold. I was damn near pale in the face and wasn’t making any sense. Camille opened the door moments later saw me slumped over the floor holding onto the towel as the last bit of vomit left my mouth. She looked around and saw a small puddle of vomit right where she was standing as she stepped over it and grabbed me up off the cold floor.
My insides felt like they were burning from the inside out and I apparently had a fever of 102•F. By the time I got off the floor Camille helped me to the couch and placed an empty bucket with a trash bag inside it just in case I threw up again. Jamison had seen me laying there helpless and kissed Camille as he went onto work.
"Feel better," he said as he closed the door behind him.
I flagged him away as my eyes dozed off as I fell asleep. Hours later I awoke as I sat up on the couch. I placed my hand over my head, and it was warm. I felt the vomit raise up in my mouth as I grabbed the bucket and threw up multiple times as my stomach began to ache. Camille had gone off to work while I was in my slumber hours earlier, so that left me alone in the apartment. Another two hours later it was getting dark, and I needed to get some air. My stomach had settled, and I was throwing up as much as I left out the apartment and got into the car as I drove to Bumblebee Burger Shack to visit Camille, and possibly order some food a girl was starving.
When I arrived at the diner, Craig greeted everyone with a smile as he assigned me a seat. As he walked me to my table and handed me the menu, I looked around me and couldn’t help but notice a few changes. Instead of black and yellow striped wallpaper surrounding the diner, it was royal red covering all four walls making the place a little darker than before with pictures of when the area was established in 1852 up until now and had different reviews and food critics rating the site one of the best burgers in town. I couldn’t help but also notice the uniforms for all the employees.
The men had burgundy red dress shirts, and there name tags pinned on the left side of their uniforms, and the women looked way better and respectable. They also had burgundy red tops so fluffy at the shoulders others just a regular T-Shirt except for a black skirt or black dress pants, and the men had belts to hold them up. Along with black sneakers with traction so that way none of them would fall. I smiled at the thought of the improvements around after I had quit...
shit forgot to stop
I thought as I placed the tip of my nail on the edge of my teeth. I looked back and forth while looking down at the menu; although I didn’t need to watch since I already knew what was on there. I kept to myself as I waited for someone to take my order. I called out to Craig as he passed me with a tray of food he held steady with one hand. He stopped as he saw me and asked what I needed.
"Can I talk to Brandi by chance?" I asked as he raised his eyebrow at me in amazement.
"The manager Craig!" I emphasized bulging my eyes shaking my head back and forth.
He still had no idea who I was talking about since he seemed to be working here for a short while.
"I know who Brandi is ma’am; it’s just she doesn’t work here anymore after the new manager took over several months ago," he explained as he walked the tray of food to the table two rows behind me.
I was surprised and offended for the fact he just called me ma’am and new management? Why didn’t Camille tell me this? I placed my menu down as someone finally came over and took my order. He was Y’all, slim, looked to be about 18 or 19 maybe in his twenties, had light brown hair ginger perhaps pushed to the side, freckles on the tip of his nose, and wore glasses that shaped his face. He was slightly attractive and smiled every time someone spoke his name. He approached the table with a pad and pen and looked up at me. Gingers aren’t my time, but they sure are Zoeys as he waited for me to answer him. He had spoken his name as I spaced out not paying attention to him or what was around me.
"Names Travis, and I’ll be taking your order today. Care to hear what are the latest buzz for the specials we have going for today?" he said as he did a demonstration of jazz hands pointing at the buzz specials.
I glanced at him then the menu under the specials column and chuckled a little as I looked back at it. I looked at him as I shook my head.
"No thanks, water would be nice, and a little bumblebee cheeseburger as well please," I said as I folded the menu as he took it from me.
"Right this way ma’am," he says as he walks away. I nodded politely and turned my head to the side in embarrassment.
Seriously, there goes that word again ma’am. I am not that old! I mumbled to myself as he came back with a glass of water and set a straw aside next to it.
I stopped him and asked if Camille was present as he nodded. He came back moments later with her by his side as her face lit up. She sat down across from me and cupped both of my hands shaking them vigorously like a toddler wanting apple juice or a cookie that was too high up on a shelf.
"What are you doing here hon?" she said as she let go of my hands.
I looked at her as she saw me take a sip of my water for my mouth was dry and looked around trying to not make it about me for once.
"Camille, why didn’t you tell me about the improvements to this place?" I said with worry in my voice as I looked at her.
I knew she didn’t want to answer me for she looked away at the ground fidgeting with her nails looking down at the ground.
"Cami!" I demanded as she finally looked up at me with her light blue crystal eyes.
My bumblebee cheeseburger arrived as Travis set it on the table gently and looked at Camille giving her that "you better get back to work before the big boss finds out" she sprinted up from her seat and looked at me. I picked up some fries as she just stared at me.
"I got to get back to work Queenie. We’ll talk later when I get off in two hours." she whimpers as she skerries back to the kitchen to clock back in.
"Camille wait!" I called out only realizing I called attention to myself.
I ate my meal in silence the whole time as I finished two glasses of water. I couldn’t wait another half hour for Camille, so o got up and paid my bill. Travis was able to go get Connor the new manager as he assisted me while I paid the bill.
"Enjoy your meal?" Connor says as he pressed some buttons on the machine between us. I nodded as I smiled slightly looking behind me seeing Camille give and take orders.
"$10.45," he said as I handed him a $20.
He programmed the $20 into the machine as I expressed him to keep the change. He glanced up at me and recognized who I was. He called Travis’s name as he rushed over to him as he took over the register. Connor pulled me aside as I got my things together as we talked amongst ourselves.
"You must be Harlee?" he said as he pointed the finger at me.
I nodded as I said yes as he continued to talk.
Connor looked to be about 6’5 in height. African American with broad shoulders gentle but smooth dark brown eyes a little it of stubble with a strong chin smooth, silky skin and a voice so perfect the inside of your thighs will quiver with anticipation, and that’s what exactly happened. He looked into my eyes and spoke so smoothly that the inside of my thighs began to shake as my clit began to throb with anticipation of his lips in between my legs. I bounced my leg up and down as I crossed them together keeping my composure under wraps as I bit the bottom of my lip breathing through my nose. Speaking of my nose, the smell of grease and the aroma of various foods made me want to vomit after just eating.
"Are you alright miss?" he said to me as he placed his hand over mine. I shook my head fast as I pulled away. Before I spoke, he cut me off.
"You’re a friend of Camille’s, and she told me you use to work here when Brandi was under management. Trust me when I say that you have nothing to worry about," he says to me in a calm, soothing voice.
I was a little surprised to know all this when he spoke to me. My stomach settled down as he and I parted ways. As I stepped in my car and turned it on I instantly thought of Maxwell. I don’t know why this man was on my mind at all, but I needed to talk to him and fast. I left the diner and sped to his house before I threw up my dinner. I just ate at the restaurant and parked on the sidewalk. I got out of the car and walked up to his door as I rang the doorbell. I waited for him to come to the door as my knee bounced up and down shaking in anxiety and nervousness.
Come on Maxwell, answer the door
I thought as he opened the door and looked at me in amazement. He was standing there with a towel wrapped around his waist and a puzzled look in his eye as we shared a passionate gaze. He was wet of course as droplets of water glistened from his abdomen and onto the mat. We shared what seemed like hours of awkward silences as I folded my arms looking down at his bulge the towel didn’t seem to cover very well.
"Harlee!" he said sounding surprised as he stood up holding onto the towel wrapped around his waist so it wouldn’t fall.
I eyed him up and down as I began to shake for it was cold outside and I was freezing. My arms covered my stomach as he noticed then looked up at me.
"Can I come in?" I said as he invited me as he closed the door behind him.
Chapter. 30
I try to piece my life together and see if it makes any bit of sense. It doesn’t. To be honest, no one’s life makes any bit of knowledge. Life just tends to go on whether we like it or not. People want their lives to make sense because it’s them, but eventually, it all comes crashing down because someone better comes along and tries to steal the spotlight and make it all about them. Why? Not sure; but now decisions have to be made, and that complicates things. Some choices are right, and others not so good, but when someone like me has two people in their life and one of which you know is bad for you but you just can’t shake them because of all the awful things they’ve done to you and the other you don’t know if you have genuine feelings for... what do you do? Who do you choose? Do you wish to be alone, or do you have to be with someone because that’s how life works?
I knew to come to see Maxwell was terrible. I had a feeling deep; down telling me to turn the car around and drive over to Marisol but if I go to her; then I’d have to deal with a lot of unanswered questions, and contemplate whether or not I have some feelings for her after all, but I made the decision to come over to see Maxwell because there were some things we had to discuss. It was past midnight, and I knew it was going to be a long one especially since I had to face my biggest fear of possibly carrying his child. I’m never wrong when it comes to things like this. When I was younger, and when my mother remarried about a month into their marriage I knew she was pregnant, and she didn’t even know. I mean at least for me the signs are all there; I was throwing up 24/7, I can barely keep food down, and certain foods just want me to gag and vomit all over the place without a care in the world.
When my mom was pregnant with me, she’d be sick nonstop when she was pregnant with the twins she barely kept her favorite food down, and my mother loves her chicken fettuccine. I was pregnant for sure, and I knew it. Before I drove over to Maxwell’s I left the diner and bought a pregnancy test at a drug store after putting gas in my car and took the test in the bathroom or being drug store and it came up positive. I was scared and afraid of what he’d do if I told him. Would he abuse me and hurt our baby like he did with Alexandria and Aubree, or would he be there like a father-to-be and take care of us? I had this knot in the pit of my stomach telling me to just blurt it out and got it over with; you know you rip the band-aid off and face the consequences whichever comes first. I looked Maxwell in his eyes as they were soft, sweet and gentle. He gazed into my eyes as he went to go change into something more comfortable.
I looked around and saw his had changed up the place. There was more space in the living room than I remembered. He definitely got rid of the carpet that had blood stains in the corners of it, and the walls were there were big wholes were now covered and painted over like nothing ever happened. I looked down at the floor to where he’d rap me and beat me and then over to where he’d gave me a black eye to when he pushed me into the wall and cringed my face up as I felt chills rush through me like a winter storm during mid-January.
When he returned, he had on black sweatpants and a shirt that was big enough for the two of us. He sat down on the couch facing toward me as I walked toward him but stopped at the table between us made the tension expand times ten. I had my arms folded looking down at the wooden floor for I couldn’t find the strength to take another step. I had a million thoughts rush through my mind and all these awful memories of him. There were some good ones, but most of them ended with his hands around my neck. I tried not thinking about that and focused on the positive, as I was about to speak I placed my hand over my stomach and rubbed it back and forth as I stared into space picturing what Alexandria told me about how he hurt their daughter Aubree, and about if I told him being the father of our child what would he do to it and me?
One thing for sure I had to tell him he has a right to know after all, but not only do I have to think about myself I have to think about my unborn child. I stood in the middle of the living room for what felt like twenty minutes as I stared into space as I licked my lips trying to get the words out. He looked at me as he got up and touched my arm as I flinched away. I looked up at him as he seemed puzzled and perplexed about all of this. I made a colossal mistake in coming here. A huge mistake.
"Harlee..." he says to me looking at me as he rubs my arms.
Just the thought of him touching me made me want to gag. I couldn’t stand this man and to be completely honest I don’t even know if I love him. He calls out to me again as I come too and look up into his beautiful grey eyes. He smiled at me and embraced me in his arms as he asked what was wrong. I couldn’t find the right words to say to him, so I did the best way I knew how. I placed my hand on his chest as he let me go and stared him in the eyes. I licked my lips as he felt my chest rise up and then fall back down in slow deep breaths. I wanted to tell him I was pregnant, but instead, I said something way worse.
"Alexandria came by and told me everything, Maxwell. I know everything" I said as he looked at me.
"What?" he said in a soft tone.
"I know everything you did to your wife, and Aubree," I exclaimed.
"I’m sorry your ex-wife." I corrected myself as I folded my arms looking at him.
He looked at me puzzled and confused as he tried to think of what to say next but couldn’t as I continued. I backed away from him a few feet as he gripped me by the wrist. I thought he was going to strike me like he did Aubree, but he didn’t. He just looked at me with those soulful eyes of his. I jerked him away and squinted my eyes at him as I stepped back a few more feet.
"Harlee...." he called out.
"You’re own daughter?" I shouted.
"I can explain..." he pleased.
"You’re OWN DAUGHTER!" I voiced this time but louder.
He backed away and placed his hand on his forehead and didn’t say a word as I calmed down. I started to feel faint as I placed my hand on my stomach for the thousandth time. Maxwell noticed and put two and two together and figured it out. I didn’t have to tell him for he already knew.
"Harlee, I didn’t mean to-" he said as he looked down at my hand that was placed on my stomach.
"And now you’re..." he says in a whisper as I shake my head.
"Yes," I said my voice barely audible.
"Harlee..." he says to me as he tries to step forward.
"Don’t, Maxwell... I can’t." I mumbled.
"It’s over...." I muttered.
He looked at me as his face went from soft to worry in seconds. His brows were lowered and voice barely audible he backed up against the table as his heel hit it as it moved slightly. His mouth was hung low so low that if there were a bee of some kind flying around the room it would sting his tongue and he wouldn’t feel a thing. He didn’t say anything for a while as he was still in shock. I walked over to the opposite side of him and sat down facing him as I felt my stomach. He didn’t say anything or do anything. It was almost like he was lifeless.
"I’m sorry," I said in a whisper as I got up and kissed him softly on the forehead and walked towards the door.
I placed my hand on the doorknob, and for the first time in a long time, I felt free like a sixty-ton weight was finally lifted off my shoulders and finally breathe again. I didn’t care about Maxwell and what he was going to do to me. I cared more about my unborn child and the well being for myself.
"I can’t do this anymore, Mr. Roseman. I wish you luck in the future, and I wish you all the happiness in the world." I said as I opened the door and left closing it behind me as I walked to my car.
He called out to me as he sprinted up and ran outside. By the time he opened the door, I had pulled out his driveway and never looked back. I was free from him and made the decision to put myself first and my baby. He was hurt to see me go, but he knew it was for the best. I still had this weight dragging me down, and that was killing me inside because I still had to face Marisol in all this. Thinking about what Marisol said about who I choose; I chose me. I was happy with me, and that’s all that mattered.
I drove to Marisol’s house to tell her how I felt about her, and that she was right. This going back and forth was driving me insane, and now that I finally chose me I needed her to know that, and I wanted her to know too. As I parked on the sidewalk and got out of the car, I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I’m not alone. I walked up to her door and rang the bell as she answered it and gazed at me.
"Harlee?" she said.
"Hey, Marisol can I come in?" I said as I waited for her to respond.
She looked at me and opened the door indicating I can come inside as she closed the door behind her. I stood in the middle of the room as she and I glanced at one another as silence filled the room. I crossed my arms and saw she was in her nightwear. She had on black basketball shorts with the grey stripes on the side and a tank top orange that fitted her top half as she had her hair tied up in a high ponytail. I turned and looked at her door for she seemed to have company over and I ruined it by once again talking about my problems.
"Did I interrupt you?" I said as I pointed behind me at her bedroom door.
"No, I just have the light on. Har-lee, it’s late what are you doing here?" she said as she yawned rubbing the crust from her eyes.
I stayed in silence as I was in deep thought. I turned and faced her as she waited for me to say something. I began to feel ashamed for showing up so late and embarrassed for even being in front of her because of what I had on. I remembered I never had a chance to take a shower because of me throwing up constantly and having just ended things with Maxwell made my head spin all over the place. I dashed for the front door as she grabbed me gently by my forearm as our eyes met.
"Don’t go Harlee, please," she muttered.
She licked her lips as she let go of me as I tried to keep my composure. Nothing was making sense anymore. I completely forgot what I was going to say to her about how I felt and every time she stares at me I go nuts inside and start to feel the sensation in between my thighs. I immediately looked away from her trying to regain my focus.
I looked at her for my heart throbbed with the intention of kissing her. I wanted to grab her by the face and give her a big kiss right on the lips. I wanted to have my way with her. I tried to pin her against the wall and kiss her passionately as she wrapped her arms tightly around my body making me feel things deep inside having me crave her every breath. I wanted her to touch me in places to feel the intensity boil up inside me like hot lava. I needed to feel loved. I wanted her to pick me up and carry me to the bedroom place me gently on the bed as she kissed my chest, navel, and thighs. Then, I wanted her to undress me as she grinds on me slowly with her bulge pressed up against my stomach with our lips pressed together still as she has her way with me with the lights on, but sadly none of that happened.
Instead, I took a breath as I closed my eyes trying to find the right words to say. What I needed to say was important. It was vital for me to know that I come first, not only me but my unborn child.
"Marisol..." I said as I took a breath.
"Yes?" she said as she stepped closer to me gazing in my eyes.
What I wanted to say they never came out of my mouth. She stared at me and waited for me to respond, but I couldn’t speak. I held my stomach with one hand and my mouth with the other as I covered it. I felt the vomit settle onto my throat for I thought I was going to heave again, but all over Marisol’s living room floor, she looked tense as she leaned in to see if I was alright. I swallowed what little came up or was about to as I smiled slightly and said this instead.
"I choose me," I said.
She looked at me confused.
"What do you mean Harlee?" she said sounding puzzled with her arms crossed.
She stared at me not saying anything as I gripped her by the hands and smirked at her without trying to vomit on her nightwear. I started to feel dizzy as I began to wobble side to side losing my balance as she held onto me.
"Harlee...." she said as her voice began to fade.
I began seeing black dots everywhere and fainted into Miracles arms as she caught me before I got the ground. She carried me to the couch and waited until I awoke. About twenty minutes later I sit up as I see her with a cup of water and a warm rag. She handed me the cup and faced me as she rubbed my shoulder trying to make me feel at ease.
"Harlee are you alright?" she asked sounding concerned. I nodded as I took a sip of water.
"Yeah, I’m alright," I whispered with my head hung low grasping onto the cup.
I didn’t make eye contact for I knew if I looked at her she’d see the truth on my face and I couldn’t find the right words to explain everything, how I feel about her, about Maxwell and I being over, my unborn child. Everything. I took another sip of water as I took in one breath and held it as I slowly looked up at her.
Great another long night...
Chapter. 31
Indeed was it a long night. Long night for conversations, long night for fighting, and such other things. Marisol looked at me like always with those soulful brown eyes of hers and rubbed my forearm up and down gently as my nerves began to pump blood through its veins like an IV shooting up your arm without you knowing. I couldn’t express how I was feeling for my emotions were hidden away like being locked away thousands of years with no food or water. I looked up at her when I finally had enough strength to speak. I parted my lips as not a single sound could form a word. Not one. Why is this hard for me? I thought as I pulled away from her making my way to the couch.
"Harlee, what’s wrong?" she said with a whisper walking toward the couch as she sat down in the chair.
"I... I chose me." I said my voice barely audible.
"What?" she said looking more puzzled.
I didn’t answer right away as I thought hard on it some more as a slight smirk or a smile left my face. It curled up on one side as I looked her way. She was now sitting inches away from me with her hand on my knees as her head was turned slightly with her brows lowered. I set my body all the way around and placed both my hands on hers as she still looked befuddled.
"I chose me, Marisol, don’t you get it?" I said this time loud enough for her to hear me.
She shook her head in confusion as she turned her body to face me as her worry lines showed on her forehead. I sighed in desperation as I grunted. It ever past two o’clock in the morning and I was growing frustrated by the minute because it seems I was getting nowhere with this. I let go of her hand and got up off the couch as I headed for the door. She stopped me by gripping ahold of my wrist until I turned around to face her. I took in a deep breath as I sighed as she pulled me closer to her. She got up and met me as her brown eyes sparkled in the light of the lamp that apparently was on this whole time.
"Harlee, I don’t know what you’re talking about; but I have something important to talk to you about," she says as she grabs ahold of both my hands.
I closed my eyes as I took in a breath. Marisol saw my chest rise up and fall back down slowly as I exhaled through my nose. Once I opened them her lips were pressed against mine as she cupped my face with both hands. My eyes widened as her tongue threw into my mouth and butterflies danced around in my stomach as I clenched on tightly to both of her arms. She wrapped one hand around my body pulling me closer to her as I felt her chest expand on mine and her bulge hardened. I fluttered my eyes as I moaned softly kissing her back as I pulled my lips away from hers. She looked at me angrily with her eyes tightening almost as if she was about to close them.
"Harlee, what was that for?" she said to me.
"What was that? I voiced gesturing a hand motion between us.
"I thought..." she said as she hesitated.
I shook my head back and forth as she placed her hands on her hips looking at me as one of us tries to talk over the other. We both laugh as I cross my arms and thighs while biting down on my lip to keep my composure.
"Why are you here Harlee!" she said as she threw her hands in the air and sat down on the couch.
I didn’t answer right away as I collected my thoughts together glanced her way as I took in one huge breath. I closed my eyes counting backward from ten as I opened them. My hands began to shake erratically as my heart rate slows down.
"Remember weeks ago; I was standing outside your house, and you asked me to choose; between you or Maxwell?" I said.
She looked up at me with both hands on her knees as she took in a breath and held it in for a moment. She nodded as she gave me a look of uncertainty. She thought to herself as she then got up and headed to the kitchen. I followed her as she poured herself a cup of coffee and myself some tea. I could hear her open up a new bag of coffee grains as she poured them gently in her coffee pot. I studied her movements as she did the same for my tea and turned around looking at me with her arms folded. Once she finished making her coffee and my drink, she handed me a cup as we carried it back into the living room. We sat across from each other; her on the couch, and I sit in the chair as I pressed my lips to the cup and took a sip of my tea. She watched me the whole time as I drank some of it.
"Yeah, I remember Harlee. Why you ask?" she said as she took a sip of her coffee and placed it down on the coaster on the table. She placed another coaster aside hers as I put my cup down.
"I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since we last talked, and I..." I said as I placed my hand on my stomach trying to keep down the vomit.
She looks at me as I just stare into space moving closer to me. I run my hand away from her as the rush to the bathroom and throw up right by the entrance without making it to the toilet. Marisol rushes over to me placing her hand over my back rubbing it gently as vomit spreads throughout her bathroom entrance. She then rushes to the kitchen to grab towels and a bucket and runs over to me as she cleans up the mess as more puke come up. After a few moments pass, she looks at me as I try to explain to her what’s being going on since I saw her. She drops her jaw in amazement as I continue to demonstrate and why I showed up unannounced like a hoe in the church at her home.
"You’re pregnant?" she says as she covers her mouth with her hand. I nodded and didn’t say anything for a while.
"Does Maxwell know?" she said with her head hung low.
I look at her as my facial expression changes and shake my head slowly as I place my hand on my stomach.
"Yes..." I said giving her a look, but she saw worry and concern in my eyes.
I’m scared Marisol..." I say to her as I close my eyes fighting the tears away.
She pulls me in her arms rocking me back and forth shushing me as a barricade of tears rush through me like a waterfall and tells me everything’s going to be alright.
But was it though?
We talked until 4 o’clock in the morning as we parted ways once again. Turns out I didn’t really have to tell her how I felt about her for she already knew. She never really explained too much of the kiss she planted on me earlier for all that mattered now was my child. I hugged her once more as I walked over to my car and drove to Camille’s apartment. When I parked on the sidewalk and stepped out the car my body was in so much pain, I couldn’t believe I made it up six flights of stairs to her door. I could have taken the elevator, but unfortunately; it was out of order, and I wasn’t too worried about it. When I opened the door, Camille saw me as I sluggishly walked past her and into the bathroom for I needed a shower.
I hopped out of the shower after staying in it for 50 minutes and wrapped the towel around my body and hair as I walked sluggishly towards my room. Camille was already fast asleep as the living room light was off and the TV. I placed on my nightwear and fell asleep before the sun raised. I woke up around three o’clock that afternoon as a message appeared on my phone from Maxwell. I picked up my phone as I rubbed my face getting the crust from my eyes as I read it.
Maxwell
Miss. Harlee Ramirez;
I know things between us have been rough and I don’t mean to cause you any more pain than I already have. Please know that I’ll leave you alone since I know it’s for the best. I don’t want you to think anything worse of me. You probably hate me and never want to hear or see me again. I routined $200,000,000 to your account to help out with our unborn child. I didn’t mean to cause you this much pain, and I hope someday in the future you’ll forgive me. You are a fantastic artist and never stop believing in yourself.
XOXO Maxwell
I read the rest of the message as I covered my mouth as tears ran from my cheeks. I didn’t respond back because I figured why to bother. I was free. Free from the abuse, the lies, the marks, the nightmares. Free from him. I heard a knock on the door as it was Camille, Zoey, Jamison, and Penelope who seemed to be on bed rest for she was pregnant months ago. I hugged all of them as I pulled Camille to the side as I had to tell her the news about my pregnancy.
"Camille this isn’t going to be easy..." I am sad as I fidgeted with my fingers.
"What is it hon; you know you can tell me?" she says as she rubbed my shoulder.
Throughout all the time I was throwing up Camille thought I was sick from food poisoning or I was coming down with the flu. When I told her about me being pregnant with Maxwell’s baby her face went from excited to disappointed in seconds her smile turned into a frown immediately, and she wasn’t pleased about it.
Oh boy! Here we go again...
Chapter. 32
We are entitled to wear the crown that awakens all pleasure. Mother of the mirror, mother of abundance. It’s so easy for us to act like we don’t know what’s coming. The future we tend to want to believe never seems to amaze us with what we don’t know about ourselves. You have those that want a happy life. They dream of marriage, children a white picket fence with a dog. Others, like myself, try to keep themselves busy in other words bury themselves in their work. I love to paint, draw and create masterpieces with a pencil or paintbrush. Not only is it therapeutic, but it makes you believe in many possibilities and opportunities the world has to offer. Sad to say, life had a different plan for me when I found out I was carrying my abuser’s unborn child. It’s been only a week since I found out and when I told Camille, she was furious at first but came around just because my child didn’t ask to be brought in this world by a man like Maxwell.
Who was she kidding; neither was I...
"Pregnant..." she says as the words left her lips almost like being blown away by a cool breeze. I nodded as she saw the worry in my eyes.
"How far are you?" she added as Zoey and Jamison walked over to us.
"A week..." I mouthed.
Camille’s eyes widened as I swear for a second she was about to cry and knowing that I’m all filled up with emotions it wasn’t very wise for her to be tearing up for I’d be a waterfall full of unstoppable tears flowing down my cheeks. Zoey touched Camille’s shoulder as she glanced over at me. Jamison kissed and wrapped his arm around Camille’s waist as he too stared at me. I began to feel uncomfortable with all the stares and glares focusing on mead my heart began to race. I placed my hand on my stomach to calm it down as Zoey looked down in my direction. Her face lit up with excitement as our eyes met. I cracked a smile to show her a bit of acknowledgment as she smiled broadly from ear to ear and clapped her hands together squealing loudly. Everyone stopped what they were doing and faced us wondering what was going on.
Thanks a lot, Zoey!
I left the room as I went into the bathroom and looked into the mirror s I saw myself. Camille followed behind me and knocked on the door a few moments later. Even though I was free from Maxwell, I still felt incomplete with myself. Zoey came out a few seconds later to check on me and stayed by Camille’s side as the apartment doorbell rang. Camille went to go answer it, and it was Oliver with a rose petal in one hand and a card in the other. He walked in wearing skinny black jeans and a white polo shirt with a company logo of some kind. His hair was cut shorter and spiked up with lots of hair product, and he smelled of old spice and cinnamon rolls the kind your grandma would make.
He greeted Camille with a tight hug as did Zoey as he scammed the living room looking for me. Zoey pointed her fingers towards the bathroom door as Camille gestured it making a face. He walked towards the door as Zoey and Camille followed behind.
"Harlee; it’s me Oliver. Come on out sweetie we’re all worried about you!" he shouted through the door as he licked his lips.
I turned my head to the door as I heard his voice. I wanted to move, but my body wouldn’t budge. I took a few deep breaths as I reminded myself that everything’s alright and I’m going to get through this. I chose me... I decided me... I decided me. I chanted to myself as I closed my eyes placing my hand over my stomach.
"Hon; are you alright in there?" Zoey added as she cleared her throat.
It took a while before I replied as I walked over to the door and opened it. There I saw all my friends that mattered to me as I hugged them. I hugged Oliver last as he handed me the rose in his hand and kissed me on the cheek. I turned and faced them as I smiled rubbing my stomach.
"Yeah; I’ll be alright," I said.
8 months later:
It’s been about eights months, and I was huge. My stomach had stretched out the side of a basketball, my feet were swollen, and I felt like I had gained twenty pounds in the last three months prior because this baby was killing me. I was able to find my own place in Brooklyn after I sold all my paintings at an art exhibit down on 88th. One of my pictures was sold to a world-class painter whose previous boss claimed to be anonymous. It was sold for $500,000,000, and it was only worth about $1,000 at the least. Right away; I recognized who the anonymous buyer was by the dozens of white roses I got a week later and a card attached to it with his name signed at the bottom: Maxwell.
Maxwell
My dearest Harlee.
By the time you get these beautiful white roses, I’ll be across the world traveling across the Caribbean sailing and doing all kinds of beautiful things. I bought that painting worth that amount; not because I want you and our child to have a little cushion; but so that you know your painting is worth something special just like you. I am trying to become a better person it’s not going to happen overnight, but it’s a start in the right direction. Please know that I am terribly sorry for all the hurt I caused you while we were together. I wish you the best in your career as an artist, and you’ll make a great mother.
Sincerely, Maxwell T. Roseman
As I finished reading the car, I stood there for a moment as I placed the roses on the kitchen counter and placed my hand on my stomach. I began to tense up with the card still in hand as felt something wet trickle down my leg then all of a sudden my water broke as I started to panic. The baby was coming, and no one insight could take me to the hospital. I wobbled into my room where my phone was set on the nightstand as I carefully sat down and picked up my phone to see who to call. Camille was a no go because she had worked a double at Bumblebee Burger, Oliver couldn’t take me for he was at work as well, and Zoey was asleep at her apartment from working late at her job. I didn’t have much time for the pain was too much to bear, and it felt like my body was being split in two. I called the one person I could trust; Marisol.
"911 what’s your emergency?" says the dispatcher.
"Is Marisol Simmons available I need..." I say as I’m panicking and breathing rapidly holding onto my stomach.
The dispatcher sounded like a man as he kept saying ma’am over and over I could also hear a bunch of other people as he tried to get me to calm down.
"Ma’am are you alright?... ma’am?" he says to me talking through his headpiece.
The only thing that was keeping me calm right now and not screaming and yelling loudly was the sound of his voice; he was calm, and his voice was soothing as I continued to breathe. The pain was still there as I yelled through the phone. I placed the phone down next to me and put it on speaker as he requested and told me to keep breathing. I did as he instructed as he tried to pin my location.
"Wh-what’s... what’s your name sir?" I asked as I held onto my stomach.
"Charlie Hernandez ma’am; where is your location?" she said as I tried to remember it.
"113 Flatbush Avenue, hurry!" I screeched as the pain intensified.
He began to type in the address as I tried my best and waited for someone to come.i was able to knock a pillow on the floor as Charlie instructed me to sit on it and lay on the floor while still breathing.
"Okay miss, someone is on their way to you right now. Just keep breathing, and everything will be fine," he said.
"N-Names Harlee... call me Harlee." I instated as my breaths began to breathe and I passed out.
Charlie called out to me over and over as I laid there on the floor nearly dead and pale in the face. The next thing you know, I’m in a hospital bed and next to me put the most beautiful baby in the whole full world. The baby put in a bin wrapped around in a pink blanket as I sat up slowly on the bed.
I had a baby girl?
A nurse came in and checked my vitals as I looked over and saw her sleeping with her lip pouted and sucking on her thumb. The nurse was busy typing something on the keyboard when she noticed my smile. I couldn’t believe how perfect she was. With all that was going on with me, I didn’t even care about the drama. All that mattered to me was my baby girl. The nurse looked over and at as I laid back looking over at the door. I watched her direction and noticed her pink scrubs and the hospital logo on the upper left hand corner below her name tag: St. Grace Memorial Hospital. I smiled slightly as she took my temperature. When she released thermometer from my mouth and threw the plastic stick in the garbage, I saw her name tag that read: Sabrina.
"What’s her name?" she said to me as she documented my temperature in the computer while clicking several buttons.
I looked over to the bin and realized I never named her as Sabrina checked and listened to my heartbeat and documented that as well into the computer. Not too long after; Camille, Oliver, and my parents came in the room as the nurse left. Camille had balloons saying "ITS A GIRL" written on them. I was so distracted by my friends and family coming in that I never really answered her question.
I was overwhelmed by the number of people as they all looked at the baby and me. Oliver came over by my side and held my hand as I asked Camille to move the bin closer to me as I slowly picked up my baby and held her closer to me rocking her in my arms. I thought a lot about what the nurse said when she asked me what her name was as I smiled and thought of one. I pressed the call button as a nurse came in as I asked her to print out a birth certificate; she told me that there already was one on the side of the bin as she carefully removed it and handed it to me. Apparently; I had already named her without knowing it. I held onto the birth certificate as it had her first, middle, and last name and how much she weighed along with other information.
My mom and Noah had to go pick up the boys from school as she hugged and kissed me on my forehead and left. I hugged them back as they left the room. Camille couldn’t stop smiling as she asked if she could hold her goddaughter. I smiled and laughed softly as I slowly but carefully handed her over as she walked over by the window making baby noises acting all silly. A few minutes passed, and everyone had left. My baby was asleep in her bin as I was resting on the bed peacefully. Sabrina knocked quietly as she entered the room and saw me asleep. When I opened my eyes, she was standing over me as I tried my best not to wake up my daughter.
"Sorry to bother you, Miss. Ramirez; but someone by the name Lieutenant Marisol Simmons is here to see you," she said quietly.
I stood up with Amy back resting on the pillows as my eyes widened my daughter began to cry. The nurse handed me her for all she needed was a change. I asked Sabrina that she could come in as she nodded. Marisol came in holding a bag in one hand and her hat in the other. She was dressed in her uniform as I looked up and saw her sit next to me in the chair beside the bed as she smiled and set the bag next to all the other gifts.
"What are you doing here?" I asked as I finished putting on her diaper. She made faces at me as I picked her up and rocked her on my chest.
"I came to check on you and see how you were doing?" Marisol says as she smiles at my daughter who seems to like her as she smiled back widely.
I giggled as I looked up at Marisol who stood up and grabbed her gift from the rest and pulled it out and handed to me. It was a baby bunny she had bought at the gift shop downstairs as she gave it to me. She sat back down in the chair as she pushed her hair back and watched me change her clothes. It turns out that Marisol and Charlotte had ended their engagement and moved on. She says that Charlotte moved on to someone new and married a guy as I sat there and chuckled under my breath. I tried to keep my composure as I held my baby in my arms. I shook my head in disbelief as I ear content and finally happy now that I have my daughter.
"What’s her name?" she says as she looks at me.
"Charley," I whispered.
I handed over the birth certificate to Marisol as she read it and smiled.
Charley Jenellé Ramirez
Epilogue
5 years later
Being a parent isn’t natural. Especially a single mother. I have help from time to time having Camille being the godmother to Charley and Oliver buys almost anything for her while I continue to paint masterpieces and attend school for the arts.
Now that I chose me I am more happy with myself than ever. I hear from Marisol from time to time as she would come down on her days off and talk to me while Charley would play on the floor with her toys. I learned how to cook better foods and sold the car. Maxwell bought me for a better one with a backseat. I graduated from College with my masters in arts and began teaching my daughter a thing or two about paints. She’s five years old now and loves the life she’s living being herself. It’s not always easy raising her with the help I get, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
The money I received from Maxwell when she was born I used half of it as a cushion ant the rest I donated to a great cause for children with special needs. Not too long after Camille was expecting a baby of her own with Jamison. They married when Charley was around three and a half, and now they have a son a year younger than Charley. They named him Preston and him and Charley are inseparable just like Camille and me when we were there age.
Marisol made captain after three years and is more focused on her work. She met Lisa a secretary who was studying forensic science at a university Oliver attended, and those two hit it off right away. Sadly they didn’t last long after Lisa transferred to another university closer to home in Pennsylvania. Marisol was sad for a while until she and I became closer than ever. I was able to tell her how I felt as I invited her out for drinks. One thing leads to another, and well you know what happens when two people are drunk, and things get little heated clothes to start to come off, and things happened. She eventually found love with a girl named Erica a police officer in a different unit, and they seem happy together.
I now work at a high school and teach them art. I have to figure out some type of income to support Charley and I. She’s all I need in the world right now, and if I had to relieve my days of being abused and embarrassed by Maxwell, I would do it all over again just to be closer to my child. I was just packing my things up late one night as I was turning off all the lights in the building when I looked down at my screensaver and saw Camille had left me a message reminding me that she had fed Charley and she’s tucked in for the night.
I was made it to the parking lot I was accidentally bumped by a man in a suit who was carrying a briefcase as all of our belongings mixed in well with each other. I bent down to pick up my phone and papers as he proceeded to do the same. As our hands touched and I was able to gather all my things our eyes met. He was light skinned, tall about 6’7 had strong, broad shoulders tight biceps. Blueish-green eyes gentle enough that could melt your heart and soul a smile so beautiful the angels would sing. His hair was cut short in a style that shaped his face, and he had the softest hands it felt like a babies bottom smothered in baby oil and cocoa butter.
He stared into my eyes as I placed my hair behind my ear looking away at him. My heart was pounding so fast it’s like I almost forgot how to talk. He smiled at me and apologized for bumping into me.
By the looks of things, he could bump into me a thousand times.
"Miss. I’m terribly sorry for bumping into you like that. I didn’t mean to cause you any harm. He says with his hand on my shoulder handing me back the last of my things.
"Oh no, it’s no trouble. I wasn’t paying attention. I’ll watch where I’m going next time." I say as I look up at him.
The wind blows a little as my hair covers my face and parts of my mouth as I try to remove it. I walk past him as I take my car keys and open my door with just a push of a button. It clicks as I open the backseat placing the things inside. I stand still only for a moment as I take a breath. I close my eyes and count backward from ten. I hear a voice in the distance as also a chuckle.
"What’s your name?" he says as he shouts it across the parking lot smiling from ear to ear.
I step in my car and start the engine as I shaking my head chuckling for I felt embarrassed once again. I drove up closer to him as he climbed into his car as we seemed to be operating in the opposite direction.
"Harlee, Harlee Ramirez," I said as I smiled.
Our car windows inch apart from each other as he smiled showing parts of his top teeth. I smiled as I pulled my hair behind my ear. He can write something down as he then handed it to me. I took it as I raised up an eyebrow and scuffled under my breath.
"Nice to meet you Harlee. Name’s Spencer; maybe I could take you out for a cup of coffee, and we could get to know each other better?" he suggested as she glanced at me.
"Maybe..." I said with a smirk as I drove away.
Maybe, might just be sooner than you think; who knows.