Chapter 1
Walter Bell was a writer. Not a successful one but he had great potential. By professional standards he was still very young considering it had been a year since he graduated college. He wrote short stories and published them in various magazines. He made just enough money to get by. He lived in the city and he adored it. The massive amounts of people (sometimes), the smell of fresh bread in the bakeries. He enjoyed walking in the park and admired all the vast, tall buildings. The only thing Walter Bell missed was someone to share all these experiences and moments with. Sure, he had his friends but he still felt alone. He did have someone once. He had dated the same girl all four years of college.
Just near graduation the relationship ended, his girlfriend, Lilly Fairchild, had become cold and distant to him. Walter's suspicions came true when Lilly confessed she had been unfaithful. Walter was devastated; he loved Lilly more than anything. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. It surprised Lilly; and Walter for that matter, when he forgave her and they tried to save the relationship. But it just wasn't enough and they never got back together. Even now Walter still thought about her. Her dazzling green eyes, her inviting smile, the way she looked at him. He often wondered what she was up to and if she was with anyone. Walter was blessed and thankful for his great friends, who would often be the ones to bring him out of this deep and dark stupor. There was Duncan, Walter's best friend. They went to college together and moved to the city and shared rent of the apartment they lived in. Duncan was a very talented musician and played in local venues and that's how he earned his money. Then there was Grace, Walter's “advisor”. She went to the same college and helped Walter through his hard time with Lilly. Walter couldn’t survive without them.
It was the end of summer and fall was just around the corner. It was in the evening and the air was crisp, the leaves moved off the trees with each gust of wind. Every evening, Walter spent his time at his favorite coffee shop, operated by Grace. She got the job after all three of them moved to the city. During the day, Grace worked as an editor of a respectable publishing company. At night she would unwind by serving coffee and listening to live music.
It was a Friday and every Friday was the cafe's open mic night. Performers did various covers of popular songs and some people even did some spoken word. Duncan was performing that night and closed the event. After several hours closing time came and everyone was gone. Duncan was packing up on stage while Walter and Grace talked.
“What are you guys doing this weekend?” Grace asked both of them.
“Nothing that I know of. Why?” Walter replied speaking for Duncan too.
“It won’t be that cold tomorrow so I'm going to the beach with a friend, want to come?” she asked sipping her cup of coffee.
“You’re setting me up?” Walter said it more like a statement.
“Yeah why not?” Grace remarked trying to help. “You always say you want to meet someone to get your mind off Lilly.”
Walter thought about it then gave in, “What's she like? Is she pretty?” he asked.
“Yes. Very” Grace quickly replied. Walter didn't say anything for a minute, “Does she have a big nose?” he asked
“Does it matter?” Grace replied annoyed.
“Does it matter?” Walter raised his voice; “Of course it matters!” he started to ramble,
“What if I fall in love with her, get married, and have kids. I don't want my kids to have elephant trunks. I wouldn't want my kids to be subject to Pinocchio jokes their whole life.” Grace stood up; she had had enough of Walter's tall tale, and said, “This is why you never meet anyone. You’re too picky!” She then went over to start cleaning the counters.
“It’s not my fault I have high standards!” Walter said getting the last word.
“What's going on?” Duncan asked when he finished packing up. He had been half listening to what was just said.
“We’re going to the beach tomorrow and I have someone I want Walter to meet.” Grace said while cleaning.
“Does she have a big nose?” Duncan asked supporting his friend but in a joking way. Grace stopped cleaning and threw the rag on the counter, “What is it with men and looks?”
“Here she goes again.” Walter rolled his eyes sensing another Grace rant. She ignored him and continued, “All you care about is the outside appearance. You never pay attention to the inside, you know, what really counts. Personality, honesty...when will you learn?”
“That's not true, Grace.” Walter replied disagreeing. “Lilly had natural inward beauty. I could gaze into the very depths of her soul,” he said recalling his love as he did quite often. “Very depths of her soul.” he repeated. “Oh that's good.” he then quickly wrote it down into a small notepad he always took with him.
“How’s the writer's block?” Grace asked concerned.
“Oh, no change.” Walter gave a slight frown. “Some ideas come and I get going but I never finish it.”
“Sounds like a good book for people with short attention spans.” Duncan’s joked referred to Walter's lack of a constant story theme.
“Yeah, ha ha.” Walter said not amused by the joke but he wasn't offended.
“I’m sorry.” Grace said, “There are some people at work who could help.”
Walter could tell Grace was sincere but he rejected her offer, “No thanks.” he replied. “Corporate people intimidate me and I break out into a rash.” Both Grace and Duncan rolled their eyes and walked out of the coffee shop. Walter followed closely behind,
“What time are we meeting?” Duncan asked.
“Eleven at my place. We'll take my friend's car and then make our way to the beach.” Grace said, they said their goodbyes and Grace headed down the stairs into the subway station. “You nervous?” Duncan asked.
“Assuming you’re referring to tomorrow then, yes I am nervous.” Walter replied scratching his head.
“It’s just a girl. Nothing to worry about. I think we’re far past the cootie stage by now.” Duncan was trying to instill some confidence in him.
“It's my fear of rejection.” replied Walter as they walked.
Duncan was puzzled, “Then how did you end up with, Lilly?” he said bluntly.
“I found out she liked me remember?” Walter replied defending himself, he then thought about the time when he and Lilly first met. “Then as they say, the rest is history.”
They entered their place and starting heading up the stairs. “All I can say is just be you.” Duncan said as they reached their apartment door.
“That’s the problem.” Walter rejected the help. “I have no good charms, nothing that girls find interesting.”
“Then how did you and Lilly ever get along?” Duncan asked extremely amused by Walter's contradictions.
“We had real chemistry.” Walter said but then got back to his main point, “As I was saying... I try to portray something I'm not and then....”
“Then what?” Duncan asked hoping Walter would hurry up.
“I run out of lines.” Walter said causally. Duncan sat down trying one last time tonight to help.
“Walter, if you’re not yourself how will this girl tomorrow know who you really are?”
Walter sat down at his desk by the window overlooking the city below their fourth floor apartment. “I know, Duncan, you’re right.” he said finally agreeing with him. “I’m going to try my best. I really want to try and forget about Lilly. It's really pathetic, it's been a year.” Duncan nodded and went into his bedroom to put his guitar equipment away. “I’m going to bed.” Duncan called from his room. “We need to get up a little early.”
“Alright, good night.” Walter said back. He usually stayed up late. He was trying to write a novel, something he had never done before. Walter was gifted with a very creative imagination. He could pull together a convincing story from a variety of subjects. He wanted to write something that was real. He wanted it to be humorous but also have a good dramatic hook. “Sort of like Shakespeare’s comedies.” He would explain to the other writers he socialized with whenever he got around to publishing a short story. But he it was more than that. He aspired to be a Fitzgerald, a Hemingway, a visionary. Walter wanted to write the next great American novel. He had pages and pages of thoughts and themes in his notepad. It was worn out and falling apart but Walter liked it and would never consider getting a new notepad. It was a beautiful worn born leather notebook, with a small strapped he had to wrap around a few times before looping it shut.
Every night he would go through the day's ideas. “Carnival.” he said aloud. “A fairy godmother and her dashing son.” He laughed to himself. “A Disney movie is what that sounds like.” He then quickly scratched out those farfetched ideas. “Something real.” he said to himself as he thought about it. “I could gaze into the very depths of her soul.” Walter repeated that phrase that he said in the coffee shop. He was very proud of what he came up with and how true it pertained to his relationship with Lilly. Nights for him were a difficult time. It was when he thought of her the most. At college, they would walk around campus, hand in hand. They would talk about all sorts of things and of their future. Lilly wanted to travel the world and get further education in a foreign country.
Walter supported Lilly in her goals and was even willing to go with her. But then all that didn't matter anymore: their goals, their commitments, it all became broken. The last he heard about her after graduation was that she spent the summer in Africa. She was doing an internship at a village hospital as a nurse. Walter was happy for her and glad that she was doing some good somewhere. At the same time he still held on to that longing to be with her. She had a strong impact on his life and Walter was convinced he would fine no one better. He sighed thinking about good memories that now felt like a disease, deep in his body. He had given up on creating a story that night. He needed his rest if he was going to enjoy himself at the beach. Walter was looking forward to it. He liked meeting new people and spending time with his good friends cheered him up. He poured himself a glass of water then headed for bed.