(From Janae Davis’ point of view)

You know how everyone, like absolutely everybody after reading a romance novel says ‘it’s so obvious that they were going to end up together’ or ‘so predictable, the lead character passes away’ but when I wrote my story, I made sure to say it as I felt it. Most of you’ll know my name and fame but not all of you know the real Janae Davis, the bones and the blood shielded by this bright misleading exterior. There was a day when an angel walked into my life and handed me the key of luck. It was later that I realised that the lucky key gave me everything I wanted but not everything I needed. We are all works of fiction, but the pages that I ink are the little words inscribed on every corner of every bone in my body. Janae Davis, sensational singer by day, depressive poet by night. See, the funny thing here is that I did try living without the pain. The grief and agony became so much a part of me that I almost felt incomplete without it. My lyrics are fuelled by saltine tears and my voice with all the sadness the seven seas could sustain.

You might have felt love but I dove right into it from such a great height that it shattered everything from my heart to my soul. Ryan Cane, his name was Ryan Cane. I was signed to TL Records, the same company that held Ryan’s contract. We went on tour together and that’s where I understood the true meaning of hot and cold for he was that and everything in-between. He claimed to be in love with someone else and yet showed every bit of affection for me. I was left high and dry to an extent such that all my emotions were dedicated to him and him alone. I found myself in a very strange fix, my mind kept screaming the opposite of what my heart wanted to believe. ‘Maybe’ was one term that I couldn’t just keep basing my love theories on. My imagination of him was the exact opposite of the reality of him, but both had a single thing in common, my pores knowing his heat and fire. He was broken to the bones and more, and all I ever wanted to be was his plaster, something that would help him walk through this rain of ache. It was almost scandalous, the way I fell for him. He made me defy all the laws and by laws I had set down for my heart. A cage he shattered the day he walked into my life and even today, I didn’t feel the need to define what we were. All I needed to know was that his heart and mine had one beat. He was a storm of fresh rain in the middle of my choppy heat, fatal yet so romantic. I was wasted on his petrichor and this sense of liberty he instilled in me. He was my go to person, from a small cut to a large shout but little did I know that the end of the tour meant the end of our friendship.

He thought I was using him, those precise words still echo in the silent of my dreams. After spending almost eighteen hours in a total of two and a half months, how could he not see how much I loved him?

Three months I tried hard not to cry at the sound of his voice, which was pretty hard considering his songs dominated almost every radio station. I started working on my debut album while he was still on tour, but the label wanted him to do a feature in one of my songs. Now the thing here is that nobody knew what went down between him and me, but for once I didn’t want to feel like an option. We worked on a song I wrote and he pretended as if nothing was wrong, at all. If only this master of disguises could disguise his black heart. After and ebbing love I felt eloquent rage towards him, for everything he put me through. It’s not his fault entirely; I set myself up for heartbreak. So possibly, I am at a larger fault than him when it comes to collecting blame for the fresh bruises on my heart.

My debut album tops the charts and my manager sets me up on ‘dates’ with the very handsome television actor, Tyler Reed. We were in the presence of his almighty more often than I anticipated. One evening he meets me at the studio and pulls me to the rooftop, only to tell me he loves me. It was one of those proposals by the sunset that would make any girl swoon and what do I do? I smile, turn around and walk away. I do it not because I don’t love him, I do. I believe a part of me will always love him, but I possibly cannot let him think that it’s okay to play with my emotions as and when he likes. He was here today, but he will be gone the minute his ex will take him back. Ryan is a forever confused soul and to love him from afar is the best thing for me because as beautiful we may be together; we’re that much of a disaster. We both have issues, me with trust and him with girlfriends but yet we were so broken that I thought our cracks could weave magic together; I had never been more wrong. I didn’t provide him with an explanation, I just left after thanking him, for I found my truth, I found my soul in my undoing.