The Return

“Who are you?” Emily asked the strange man standing in the hallway outside her open bedroom door. He was a tall thin shadow. She couldn’t see his face, only the dark outline of his oval-shaped head. She saw his dark hand reach up to his face, and place a long, black finger to his mouth. “Shhh,” she heard. Then, speaking just above a whisper, he said, “I’m glad you’re finally awake.”

The knocking on the wall behind her bed had woken her. This wasn’t the first night she had been wakened by the knock. It had been happening for many nights, though Emily wasn’t sure exactly how many. But, if she had to pick a specific night when it first began, she would say it happened right around her fourth birthday, when her daddy had come back from his long trip to South Africa.

When Emily heard the knocking the next night, it wasn’t as loud, more like a tap. And she heard it again the next night, and the next, always right before she was about to fall asleep, like some bully behind the walls was doing it purposefully, knowing just the right time to rap. One, two, three times. And then it would stop. Emily wasn’t scared from the knocking—she had accepted Nanny’s explanation about her dreams. And Emily did dream. Awful dreams, about snakes and monsters. She dreamed about her daddy running away, and her yelling out for help. She dreamed about a tall lady with green eyes like her daddy’s. The lady was the snake, and she lived under a big house that also had green eyes.

A few months later, the tapping was followed by a scratching, and a muffled voice whispering her name. “Emily,” the voice whispered. “Let me out.”

Emily hadn’t recognized her daddy the night he came home from South Africa. He’d been gone a long time. Maybe too long, thought Emily, and she hadn’t wanted to run into his arms like she’d been so eager to do whenever he came back from his other long trips. He was skinnier, and hunched over. His hair had turned darker and messier. But the worst thing was his eyes. There were dark circles underneath them. And they were a bright, sickly greenish color, like something she’d seen the chauffer cough up and spit out last time he drove Emily to preschool.

Mommy said Daddy was sick. That he must have caught something over there. He coughed a lot. His nose ran. And he didn’t smell like her daddy. Her daddy smelled so good that she used to nuzzle in his arms and stay there, sniffing. His shirts smelled like the white towels in her bathroom, his hair fresh like outside, and his neck spicy and warm. Her nanny said he smelled expensive.

The night he came home, her mommy had allowed her to stay up past bedtime. Emily wanted to see him walk through the door with exotic presents that he had brought back for her piled in his arms. The chauffer called to say he had arrived, and that Daddy was on his way up on the elevator. And the staff had gathered in the foyer in front of the winding staircase, along with her nanny. Nanny Annie. Her first name was Annie, and it sounded like a silly rhyme, so they just called her, Nanny.

Mommy was dressed up pretty in her high heels, and Emily wore her birthday dress with the red bow around her waist and her red sparkly shoes.

The elevator door opened. Her daddy stood there in a long black coat with a weak smile on his darkened face. Instead of packages with bows, he held a big, ugly book in his arms. The doorman clamored in behind him, wheeling suitcases onto the marble foyer, and headed back out the door, slamming it shut behind him, as if he was in some sort of a hurry.  

“Hello everyone,” her daddy said with a nod.

“Is that for me?” Emily asked. Her daddy’s eyes became smaller, like they did whenever he had an argument on the phone with one of his business men, and he clutched the book to his chest. “No,” he said in a voice she did not recognize.

Her mommy walked up to him, then took a step back. “William?”

“I’m tired,” he said. “Long flight. I just want to go to bed.” And he strolled past everyone toward the staircase. He had one foot on the step when her mommy yelled, “William!” He turned to her.

Mommy said in a lower voice, “Can you at least say hello to your daughter?”

A look came over his face as if he had suddenly remembered something. He smiled. “Come here darling,” he said, stepping back down onto the foyer. He placed the book gently on the lower step. “Give your dad a hug.”

Emily hesitated. Her mother nudged her forward. Emily’s shoes tapped loudly across the marble, and she walked slowly into his open arms. Her daddy smelled like something spoiled from the refrigerator. “I’ll give you your gift tomorrow, Emily,” he whispered into her ear. “I’m sorry that I don’t have it right now.”

“Am I still your little peanut?” she asked him as he hugged her tight. Peanut was his pet name for Emily. She couldn’t remember the last time he had ever used her name, Emily.

“Of course, you are,” he said, then he released her, dabbed his running nose with a crumbled tissue he had balled in his hand, and pulled himself along the banister, up the spiral staircase.

No one said anything about her daddy. The suitcases were handed over to Mr. Jonas, the butler. Edna, the housekeeper, headed down the hall. Nanny took Emily by the hand. “Come along, Emily. Time for bed.”

“Mommy?” Emily asked, looking up at her mother standing alone in the foyer, staring up at the staircase. Nanny tugged on her hand. Her mommy sighed, then glanced over at Emily. “Go to bed, darling. You have a big day tomorrow.”

“Will Daddy be at my birthday party?” Emily asked.

Margo smiled at first. “Of course, he will.” Then her smile faded. “I hope he will,” she said. She waved Emily over to her. Nanny let go of Emily’s hand, and she ran to her mother. Mommy knelt and said, “I think Daddy might be ill. So, we’ll have to give the doctor a call, and maybe Daddy will need some rest. Lots of rest. But he will definitely see you tomorrow on your big day. All right?” Emily nodded. “Okay, my love.” She gave Emily a big hug. Emily breathed her mother in, glad to replace the scent of her daddy that had been lingering in her nose. “Now off to bed with you. Nanny will hang your dress, and you’ll put it back on tomorrow, okay? Goodnight.”

Emily was awakened by a knock. One loud knock. She sat up. “Nanny?” But no one was at her door, which always stood open. Emily was a little afraid of the dark. Just a little, she told her mommy and her daddy, and Nanny. Emily looked around, wondering if what she heard had been a knock. Maybe something fell off a shelf. Or maybe the sound came from down the hall. She had to go potty, so she climbed out of her bed to use the toilet. Even though the house was mostly dark, there was a dim nightlight in her bedroom. Emily’s bathroom light was kept on, the door cracked open. She looked around. Saw nothing. Just as she was about to doze off, she heard the sound again. Emily’s eyes popped open and she sucked in her breath. Another loud rap came from the wall directly behind her bed. Then another, as if something was trying to bust though. Emily’s body tensed and hot shivers ran up her back and neck and scalp. She grasped her covers tight.

“NAAANNEEEEEE!” she screamed. Emily screamed out for nanny over and over until the woman finally appeared at her door. A thick robe was cinched tight across her small waist, her long dark hair was out of its bun, and her funny bunny slippers were on the wrong feet.

“Good heavens, Emily. What’s the matter?”

“There’s a noise coming from behind my bed,” Emily whined.

Nanny’s wide eyes narrowed. “What kind of noise?” she asked with a sigh.

Emily sat up and scooted forward. “It sounds like something is in the wall.”

Nanny walked over to the bed. “Emily, there’s nothing in these walls. But I tell you what, we’ll let Mr. Jonas know first thing tomorrow, okay?”

“Will you sleep with me?” Emily asked. “Like you used to?”

“Oh, Emily,” Nanny said as she cocked her head. She sat on the edge of Emily’s bed. “Remember why we moved my bed out of your room?”

Emily nodded. “Because I’m a big girl now, and big girls have their own room.”

“That’s right. You are a big girl. And tomorrow you turn four years old. I’m right next door. See how fast I came in here when you called?”

Emily didn’t nod at that. It didn’t seem to her that Nanny came fast enough.

“I bet what you heard was the wall settling. They do that, you know, in these older New York homes.”

“Did you hear it?” Emily asked.

Nanny shook her head. She smiled and said, “It’s normal, Emily. Houses make noise.”

“How come I never heard it before?”

“Well, I don’t know sweetie. Maybe you just never noticed it before. Maybe it just seems louder because you’ve got an exciting day ahead of you, or because of the excitement of your daddy coming home. Or, maybe it was just something that happened once and won’t happen again. For a long time.”

Maybe, thought Emily.