The Brass Wheel
Not so long ago, it happened. It happened in a place as much like as any other. So close, you almost couldn’t tell the difference.
The place was almost ordinary, but it was special too. It was a place where imagination leaked, where any possibility was possible, a place where dreams were said to have come true.
In this place, there sat a girl. She was a very special little girl, a girl who didn’t always like to be looked at, though she always liked the way she looked. Her name was Goldie Locks. She was like the Goldie Locks from the other story, but she was not the Goldie Locks from the other story.
Not so long ago, in this place where imagination sometimes leaks, Goldie Locks was sitting, quiet and quite still.
Goldie Locks sat. She sat to think, and she thought about thinking. She wanted to know how long she could sit without getting bored, and what if she sat so long that her bottom went numb? That can happen you know? It’s called the numb bottom from too much sitting effect. That’s what Pink Doggy calls it, and nobody spends more time sitting than Pink Doggy.
Anyway, if you’ve never had the numb bottom from too much sitting effect, then I think its safe to say that you’ve done many things correctly with the shortness of your life thus far.
Goldie Locks’ bum did not go numb today. Not even a little. How could she? Pink Doggy was up and about, and ready for a bit of mischief. She didn’t have a choice at all but to hop up off her not the least numb bum and scoop Pink Doggy up and run in search of mayhem or adventure.
What’s that? Did I say Pink Doggy?
That’s right. Pink Doggy. A dog that was pink. What name could be more sensible than Pink Doggy? Sometimes Pink Doggy is a he, sometimes she’s a she. That’s the kind of dog she is, the kind that doesn’t care if she’s a he or not. You’ll get used to it. You won’t believe the kinds of things you can get used to!
So where were we? Right! Mayhem or adventure. A great title for a chapter, if this were a chapter book. Don’t you think? Mayhem or adventure.
Goldie Locks preferred a little mayhem, also known as messy, noisy chaos. That was her nature, and we won’t hold it against her, will we? Pink Doggy on the other hand was a very old dog, two years at least, and he preferred adventures. He had a twinkle in his eye, and Goldie Locks had done a lot of painting in the last few days, so she decided she should let him have his way. That’s a very nice thing to do sometimes, letting people have their own way, as long as you don’t feel like you have to do it all the time.
Did I say Goldie Locks was little? I believe I did, but that’s not all. She’s also very big, much bigger than Pink Doggy, Momma Cat or Foxxy, for example. You don’t think that’s big?
She can pee on the toilet, clean herself up, and wash her own hands. All by herself! How is that for big? She’s a very big girl, and she flushes every time. Not even her big brother can say that!
Mayhem or adventure? Pink Doggy wanted adventure, and so adventure it would have to be! But where to find adventure?
She hid behind the couch, but nobody came and found her, not even when she giggled! She started to get bored. She thought about giggling again, but the giggle couldn’t come. She didn’t feel at all like giggling. She felt like sulking.
She came out of hiding and she huffed, but nobody noticed.
Dad was in the kitchen, so she went out there and bumped into his leg. He was washing dishes, and all he gave her was a little pat.
It wasn’t enough, and she could feel the feelings coming up into her chest. Pink Doggy’s adventure was forgotten. She needed a distraction.
She found her Brother and her Mommy playing a game with cards that made no sense. She couldn’t play their game, but she needed a distraction, so she screwed up her face as cutely as she could and lay herself down across the game.
Brother started screaming right away. He didn’t even ask her to get up, he just started to shout, so she shouted too, and she kicked her feet, and some of the cards got bent and Mom got mad.
It was something of a blur after that, but she wound up in her room. Without Pink Doggy.
She called Pink Doggy from her doorway, but her Dad said something she didn’t understand or like. She slammed her door.
She was mad and she was sad and she needed a distraction, so she took a book off her shelf. She didn’t like the book, so she dropped it on the floor. She tried another, and another and another. She didn’t like any of these books, so she started taking them all off the shelf and throwing them all over the floor.
Then she stopped. She froze solid. She stared in shock and wonder. There was a steering wheel on the bookshelf that was never there before.
It was kind of like the car’s steering wheel, except it was a little smaller, and it was made of metal. It was very shiny, and very pretty, and it was sticking right out of the bookshelf.
Excited and afraid and curious, she touched the steering wheel and found that it was very smooth and very very cold. It was easy to turn, and she turned it just the tiniest little bit that she could.
Nothing happened, but her floor seemed to feel just a little bit strange for the tiny little second.
She wasn’t mad any more, and she wasn’t bored. She was intensely curious, and a little nervous.
She turned the wheel again, this time a tiny bit more, and she fell right down on her bum. It hurt too.
The floor had moved. It moved fast! The books on her floor slid, and her blinds were shaking.
Then she noticed something very strange. It was all pretty strange, but don’t you agree that the shed outside her window must have been the strangest thing of all? There should be a tree outside her window, there always was before. The shed was on the other side of the house!
She gave the wheel another turn. She was getting very excited now, so she turned it and turned it and turned it.
The sound the wheel made was the softest little squeak. It was the sound a mouse might make if it was dreaming squeaky little mouse style dreams.
Goldie Locks turned the wheel, and the wheel spun the house. That was how the wheel worked, but as she kept turning, the house spun faster and faster and faster.
Goldie Locks had to hold on tight to not go flying. Mommy and Brother ran out of the house screaming, and Daddy, he was washing dishes by the open window. What did Daddy do? Daddy went out the window!
Now, there are two ways to turn a steering wheel, as we all know. If she turned the wheel one way, the house would spin one way. If she turned the wheel the other way, so too with the house.
What she didn’t know at first, what nobody in the whole world knew, was that the house could spin up or down. If she had spun the house down, it would have gone down into the earth, under the dirt and straight through the bedrock to the mantle, which she had never heard of and probably neither have you.
She didn’t spin down however, so we won’t find out who lives in the great caverns of the earth beneath the earth, where light comes from giant glowing worms and… maybe that will come into a different story. It has nothing whatsoever to do with this one.
For now, the house when up. That’s the way she turned the wheel.
The wheel turned, the house spun. As it spun, the house went up. It rose into the air. Up and up and up, it spun just like a spinner until it was high above the other houses on her street.
Eventually, she got tired of spinning the house up into the sky. It turns out even extraordinary things like that get boring sooner or later.
She looked out the window, and she gasped. She’d gone right up past the clouds. They stretched away from the house like fluffy snow or cotton batting.
She’d had a plane ride once, when she was very very small, and the view outside her window had been very much like this, but I’m not sure if she remembered that.
She should have gone back down, and probably she would have too, except for Mommy Kitty. Mommy Kitty was acting very strange. She was very chill most of the time. Most of the time, she just napped and stretched, giving purrs and kisses.
She wasn’t one bit chill right now. Not one little bit at all! She leapt off the bed and bolted for the door, nosing and pawing until the door swung out.
The house was strangely still and quiet and she started getting nervous as she followed Mommy Kitty out toward the kitchen. Then she screamed.
And now, if it’s alright, this story will be sad for just a little while. Mommy Kitty bolted to the kitchen, where Daddy had been washing dishes. Goldie tried to stop her from jumping to the counter, but Momma Kitty was too quick.
“Momma Cat no!” Cried Goldie Locks. “We’re way up in the sky! If you jump,” but before she could say anything more, her precious cat had slipped right out the open window.
Emotions came as Mommy Kitty disappeared. They were big difficult emotions. They filled Goldie’s chest and turned her belly. Goldie Locks always loved Mommy Kitty, and she always giggled when Mommy Kitty kissed her, and smiled when they hugged and cuddled and she never in her life had such a want to squeeze her cat than she did right now.
The difficult emotions filled her body up and became a pain that squeezed her throat, bringing tears into her eyes. Her lip began to shake and she began to wish she’d never turned that stupid wheel.
Then she heard a mew. It was such a sad and tiny, lonely mew, that Goldie Locks forgot about herself. Magic Kitty was standing with two soft paws on Goldie’s bare foot, his eyes pleading.
He wanted to be fed of course. He wanted to be fed. Magic Kitty was Mommy Kitty’s kitten, and he was always looking to be fed.
This was just too much for Goldie Locks. She bent down to pick the kitten up. She felt sadder than ever, and tears ran down her face and buggers crept out of her nose.
“Oh Magic Kitty,” she sobbed. “Mommy Cat went out the window.” She tried to feed Magic Kitty herself, but that almost never worked. Then Magic Kitty jumped out of her arms, and up onto the counter, and started for the window.
“NO!” screamed Goldie Locks. “No Magic Kitty! Don’t go out the window or you’ll fall!”
She pushed a chair and climbed up on the counter. She wasn’t supposed to be there, but this was an emergency.
She caught Magic Kitty and held her very tight. That’s when she noticed Pink Doggy sitting on the counter and looking out the window. How did he get up there? What was Pink Doggy looking at?
Then she saw it. It was a streak of beige that disappeared behind a cloud.
“Momma Kitty?” She said, and Pink Doggy jumped right out the open window.
Clouds can’t hold you up. That’s why birds have their nests in trees and on the ground. Airplanes go right through the clouds, and Pink Doggy should have gone through them too.
These were special clouds though, and Pink Doggy landed with a silent little bounce.
“Oh Pink Doggy!” she exclaimed, and wiping her cheeks dry, she went to get her shoes and jacket. I told you she was very big for such a little girl.
It was nervous business, leaving her house by herself, and it should never be done but in the direst of emergencies and most magical of stories. Pink Doggy was so excited though, and Magic Kitty was so sad, and she really really wanted to find Mommy Cat. So off they went in the direction they had seen Mommy Kitty go.
The clouds were soft and squishy. Sometime Goldie Locks sank up to her waist and Pink Doggy would lick her face all over until she managed to climb out again. As they walked, she started to get used to the strange springy stretchiness of the clouds. She and Pink Doggy chased each other up some cloudy mountains, and rolled down hills, and leapt off cotton batting cliffs, but soon she was tired and it was hard to have fun with Mommy Kitty missing.
All of a sudden, Goldie Locks had cold wet feet. The clouds underfoot had grown dark, though the sky above was as clear a blue as ever. Dark clouds are rain clouds, and Goldie needed to find out what it was like to jump around and splash in them.
Pink Doggy was feeling playful too, and they started jumping off a very high cloud hill to see who could make the biggest splash. At first, Pink Doggy was too light to make much splash, but soon he was totally soaked and very very heavy.
Magic Kitty was too sad to play, and licked water out of the clouds instead. This struck Goldie Locks as a very sensible thing to do, especially when she realized how thirsty she was.
They all had a good long drink then, until Goldie Locks started feeling like she had to pee. She decided she wasn’t thirsty anymore, and she decided she didn’t want to play either, so they headed off to find Mommy Kitty.
Her Daddy and her Brother liked to pee outside. She liked to too, but there were rules she didn‘t understand about when and where it was okay.
She held it. She didn’t have any tissue for one thing, and there was also nowhere to wash her hands. Finally, when she had to go so bad she didn’t know if she could get her pants down, she tucked herself into an overhanging cloud and let it go.
Oh yes, there are overhangs in clouds. And hills, valleys, cliffs and mountains. There are also dragons, bears, flowers, trees and butterflies. And giants. There are clouds of every type and shape.
There was a very particular giant in these clouds. Goldie Locks hadn’t noticed him yet, but he had noticed Goldie Locks some time ago.
They walked and walked and walked. Pink Doggy started to get tired, but Magic Kitty was too impatient to stop. Besides, Goldie Locks knew that if they stopped, she would start to notice the hungry feeling in her belly.
The sun began to edge closer and closer to the distant clouds. As it did, the clouds began to change.
First, the butterflies came out. There were billions of them, all different colors, all different sizes, countless shapes in complicated patterns. They were friendly butterflies too; they fluttered right over to Goldie Locks and tickled her nose and lifted her hair. It was delightful.
With the butterflies came sweet smells and the music of so many wings dancing in the air.
Then the clouds changed color. Purple, orange and pink. The sweet smells were coming from these multicolored clouds!
“No Pink Doggy!” Goldie Locks exclaimed, but Pink Doggie didn’t listen. He was very busy eating all the pink clouds he could get. Goldie Locks tried to take the cloud away from Pink Doggy, but there was too much around.
That’s when she noticed that it didn’t feel quite like the other clouds. It felt familiar. It was sticky and made of loads of tiny fibers. And it smelled like cotton candy.
She ate until her belly hurt, and every bit was better than the bit before. She knew that cotton candy wasn’t a healthy supper, but when she started walking again, she felt happier than she had since losing Mommy Kitty.
Goldie Locks was getting sleepy. The clouds were turning purple and there was a clicking in the sky.
It wasn’t just a clicking. There was a whirring too, and the clicking went from strong to soft and back to strong, like “click click click click CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK” with a steady whirrererererer going on in the background. It sounded like a fan, and when she saw it, it looked like a fan tipped on its side.
It was a propeller. It was attached to the corner of a very large stone corner. Above the propeller, there was a brass ring, and through the ring, there hung a weighted rope.
Goldie Locks was very interested in this. She wanted to touch rope, and to know why it was hung through the centre of a ring. She was so engrossed in her study of the apparatus that she didn’t hear the giant foot steps until the clouds she was standing on fell suddenly away beneath her.
This is what happened. The Cloud Giant who owned the propeller walked towards her, and when he got close, his giant feet pressed down upon the cloud. Clouds don’t make much noise when walked upon, so she did not hear the giant’s footsteps. When they got close enough, she felt the footsteps a lot though. The clouds were very springy under the giant’s heavy steps, and the ground went down and up, and Goldie Locks was tossed and dropped and rolled and bounced.
At least the clouds were soft, but she was like a toy on a trampoline, and the giant was getting closer and closer and closer.
How big was the giant? Imagine the smallest toy you own. That’s exactly how small Goldie Locks was compared to the Cloud Giant. His foot would fill a big swimming pool, and the closer he got, the more badly Goldie Locks wanted to get away. The more she struggled though, the more she rolled toward the giant, who casually bent and picked her up, much like you might lift a snail.
“Nooooooo!” she cried in a voice too small and terrified for the Giant to hear. Then the giant sat her on his tremendous palm to look at her. Goldie Locks crossed her arms and furrowed her eyebrows, and gave the giant her very best pout. His eye lashes were like small trees with no branches.
He poked her with the finger of his other hand, and she stiffened. She didn’t like this giant with his giant finger and his giant blood shot eye. She didn’t like him looking at her. She didn’t like him poking her, and she really really didn’t like it when he took her foot between two fingers and hung her upside down.
When he caught her hands in the fingers of the other hand, she got mad. When she started to pull her in two, Goldie Locks lost it.
“NO!” She barked the word so loud that this time he heard her.
“I SAID PUT ME DOWN!!!” she shouted, which wasn’t altogether true. He put her down never the less. “YOU CAN’T PICK ME UP!” she wailed, and “THAT’S WHAT YOU GET,” and “NEVER AGAIN,” and she tried to kick him in the foot, but he moved out of the way.
She threw a handful of cloud at him then, and scrambled after him, and screamed and spat and stomped her feet.
The Giant was unsure. He put out a hand to hold her back, but she bit him and howled in pain.
This was a total fit. Only one child in seven ever achieves such a total fit. Goldie Locks had completely lost control. What chance did a Cloud Giant have against such a total fit?
He blew his nose into the palm of his hand, because Cloud Giants have absolutely no manners when it comes to their noses. What came out was a cloud, because that’s where clouds come from. Didn’t you know?
This was a very large, very fluffy cloud, and he put it down on the angry little Goldie Locks, and he held her down until she calmed.
This might not have been the best response, but let’s be honest, there really is no perfect way to treat a total fit. It was the best he could think of at the time, and that’s as good as anyone can do. He stayed calm at least, and she was safe.
Clouds are just the thing, as it turns out, for holding people down. They’re mostly air for one thing, so she could breathe, and there’s nothing quite so springy as a springy white cloud, which meant she wasn’t hurt.
This is not to say that she was happy. She was madder than ever in her little life. She screamed into her tiny cloud prison, and hissed and kicked and fought. She struggled to escape, and said the sorts of things she didn’t even understand.
It wasn’t a very good time for anyone, least of all for magic kitty, who was still in Goldie’s pocket.
Eventually she got too tired, and her screams gave way to cries, and she slowly started noticing her situation.
A dog was barking somewhere, and Goldie Locks was curious. She liked dogs a lot, and this one sounded so familiar.
It was familiar because she knew the dog. It was Pink Doggy of course, she’d forgotten all about Pink Doggie! You did too, didn’t you?
That’s okay, Pink Doggy was alright. He’d spent some time under the Giant’s giant foot is all. Goldie Locks started to worry though. She didn’t know what the Giant would do if Pink Doggy barked at him too much.
“I’m calm,” she said, but the giant didn’t hear her through the cloud.
“I’m calm,” she said again, and the giant heard something, but he didn’t understand.
“I’M CALM!” she said a third time, and this time, the giant had taken back his nose blown cloud and lowered his head, so it was just over Goldie Locks, and this time, the giant understood her.
“Oh good,” he said, and sat down with a mighty stretching of the clouds beneath him. “You had me really worried there for a bit or two.”
“Why did you try to pull me in two?” Goldie Locks demanded, and sniffed back a shuddering sob.
“Pull you in two?!” the Giant was aghast, which means surprised and horrified. “I was trying only to make you bigger, only that.”
“No,” said Goldie Locks, and she sounded very cross. “You can’t make me bigger.”
“It’s only that you’re just so very small,” said the giant, and he didn’t look so scary when his eyebrows rose up on his forehead.
“NO!” She said again. “I’m just the right size. I’m the size I’m spose to be.”
“Oh,” the Giant shrugged. “I didn’t know that, did I? Can you forgive me?”
“Say you’re sorry,” Goldie Locks didn’t know when to quit.
“I am sorry,” the Giant accommodated. “Can you forgive me now?”
“No,” said Goldie Locks, but she was forgiving him, at least a little bit. Then she cried out “Magic Kitty!” because Magic Kitty had jumped out of her pocket and leapt onto the wall of the Cloud Giant’s castle.
“Come back!” she said, but Magic Kitty didn’t listen. She climbed the wall and darted through an open window.
The tears from Goldie’s fit were still so fresh that they came flooding back when magic kitty disappeared. Pink Doggy who’d started barking at the climbing kitten instead of the Giant, stopped barking and started licking. He licked Goldie Lock’s tears and tickled her with his nose.
“What’s the matter?” asked the Giant, who hadn’t seen Magic Kitty.
“My kitty went in your window!” Goldie bawled.
“This kitty, ah, this a tiny tiny cat by chance?” the Giant asked. Goldie Locks supposed a lion would look tiny to the Giant, so she nodded yes.
“And is he around the color of aaaahhh, a pangcake?”
“No,” sulked Goldie Locks. “He’s black and white,” then she considered what the giant said.
“Mommy Cat’s the color of a pangcake though, but Mommy Cat’s a girl!” exclaimed Goldie Locks, but it was becoming clear that this giant had seen Mommy Kitty, so she began to laugh as well.
“I might’re oh known that if’n she had stopped to squawk fer a morsel errr what not, but I only did see her that one time, you know.”
“Where?!” Goldie Locks asked, but the Giant frowned.
“Into the old dusty attic is where. I can show you if’n you is here when I is here again.”
“Show me now?” Goldie Locks was distressed, so she forgot her manners.
“I am in with the sorries,” he said, staring at where the sun was disappearing into the clouds, “but I got me some cloud towers need tending, and if they don’t get rain in Brighton soon, the children won’t be allowed to turn the sprinklers on or fall down along them slippy slides errr whatnot. I’m late ahead by any measure now!”
“Wellllll,” said Goldie Locks in a well practiced tone.
“Wellelelel what?” the Giant asked.
“Can you put me in your window?”
“Oh,” the Giant winced. “I’d might like to try, I’d really want to be a help. It’s just that it’s not safe in there. I’ve got this bear, you see, and he got appetites for all sorts. You might be a sort, you see?”
That was a soft no, and she had to change his mind before he gave a firm no. Goldie Locks knew a thing or two about nos.
“I’m not afraid of bears,” she said, which of course, wasn’t true at all.
“I think you may be different feeling from the inside of a gut,” the Giant said, and Goldie Locks knew she had to be careful. His response was getting firmer. She fell down on her bum.
“But they’ll be gone by then,” she said with tears in her eyes and a tremble on her voice. Then an inspiration hit her. “And Magic Kittie doesn’t know about bears,” she said. “If I don’t warn him, he’ll get gobbled up for sure.
The Giant thought about this. He heaved a great sigh and twisted his fingers together. Finally, he scratched the back of his head.
“Be careful as careful as a crab,” he admonished her. “Don’t be staying on the floors, and don’t mind my mess. I be living on my own most days, and I take time for other things than being tidy.”
Then he pressed his hand down into the clouds for Goldie Locks to climb onto his fingers. Pink Doggy hesitated, growled a little, then jumped up and started sniffing the giant’s giant hand.
The window ledge was like a cliff. The far away floor gave Goldie Locks a memory. A little memory of a girl was on a balcony looking out over a city in the desert. The air was soft and bright, the wind was sweet and dry. A purple buckle from her curly hair dropped down toward the ground the below. They searched the ground below, but never found it. It wasn’t anywhere.
She missed her buckle. But not like she missed Mommy Cat. As sad as she was about Mommy Cat, she was just as worried about Magic Kitty. What if Magic Kitty jumped? This was a high fall, even for a kitten.
Then Pink Doggy barked a low, nervous woof, and Goldie Locks saw Magic Kitty climbing carefully along the wall. It wasn’t a smooth wall. Magic Kitty could only climb very short distances on smooth walls, and only when someone held on to him. This wall had a border that went all around the room.
Perhaps you’ve seen such borders in your travels? It was a thin piece of wood that separated the top of the room from the bottom. It maybe would be nice to trace it with your fingers, walking slowly around the room and squeezing past the furniture.
In the ordinary world, such borders often have one color wall below them and a different color above. They’re usually a bit dusty, unless the house is very tidy, and often times, they have a pattern carved into them.
This was not in the ordinary world however. This was a giant border on the giant wall of a giant’s corner office. It was just wide enough for Goldie to edge onto if she pressed herself against the wall. She didn’t know how Magic Kitty managed it, but Pink Doggy wouldn’t even try. No way.
It took some deft negotiation, which is another way of saying that she had to be very very sweet. Eventually, she convinced Pink Doggy to sit extremely still on Goldie Locks’ head while she edged out on the border after Magic Kitty.
This didn’t seem like such a good idea for long. The Cloud Giant’s castle was pretty still, but it was held up in the air by Giant propellers! Edging out across a narrow board, Goldie Locks could feel the shifting of the wall. She was frightfully aware that a sudden gust of wind could sweep her sprawling to a terrible fall.
And did I mention the dust? Only in the very tidiest of homes are these borders free of dust. This was not a tidy home. The dust on the narrow ledge was up to Goldie’s ankles! It was hard to walk in, and it got stirred up and made her want to sneeze. What would happen to Pink Doggy if she sneezed?!
Thankfully, Pink Doggy was a very conscientious dog, which is it say that he noticed her problem, and thought of a solution. He leaned forward and wrapped his big pink ears around her nose and mouth to keep the dust out. Good Doggy!
Eventually, she was going to have to get down off this ledge. Magic Kitty seemed to have some idea where he was going, but Goldie Locks was apprehensive about following Magic Kitty’s lead. He was not the most sensible kitten in the litter, not at all.
Milky Kitty had been the most sensible kitten of the litter, but she was lost. She went missing before the move, when Goldie Locks was only two, and hadn’t been seen since.
First, Milky Kitty disappeared, then Mommy Cat ran away, now it seemed like Magic Kitty was leading Goldie Locks to a certain death. It was a pretty troubled family.
Maybe not certain death, but Goldie Locks was not comforted when she realized what Magic Kitty planned, not comforted one little bit.
The border they were on ran from the window to the corner of the room. In the corner by the floor, there was a spider web. Goldie Locks didn’t notice it until Magic Kitty jumped.
“No Magic Kitty!” She almost cried. That is to say that she tried to cry, but the sound of her voice in the silence was so alarming that only a squeak came out.
Magic Kitty fell. Magic kitty landed in the spider’s web. It was a giant room in a giant’s castle, and you can bet it was a giant spider web. It was bigger than any monkey bars Goldie Locks had ever seen. Magic Kitty landed right in the middle of it, but he didn’t get stuck and eaten by a giant spider! Instead, he bounced like a Plinko puck safely to the ground.
I sort of looked like fun, but it was also a very long way down. There was nothing else for it, so Goldie Locks screwed her courage tight, squeezed Pink Doggy to her chest and jumped.
The air rushed past her as she fell, and she had a moment to consider how still she was before she landed. The world was rushing past in a crazy, windy blur. She was lying in the wind, waiting for the floor to meet her.
No, not floor. Web. Where there was a web, there might be a spider. Have you ever seen a spider eat a fly? Goldie Locks had. She was very interested in spiders and flies. She was not interested in being eaten though! She had had a single, horrifying moment to imagine the giant spider who had built this giant web before the world went sideways. Her belly surged into her throat, and she lost all sense of up and down.
What happened next was very scary, but it turned out okay. It had to get scary, so heroes could emerge. If you want, you can skip to Chapter Twenty-Eight, when Goldie Locks is safely on the floor.
She and Pink Doggy were stuck. The more they struggled, the stucker she got. Then Pink Doggy went still. Something else was on the web.
It was the spider. She was creeping out of her hidey hole, and she was HUGE! Bigger than a Ford Escape.
She had loads of shiny black eyes and bristly black hairs, and as she ambled out across her web, Goldie Locks had a dreadful thought.
‘If I can fit inside a Ford Escape,’ she thought, then Magic Kitty crawled onto the web and the spider froze. Magic Kitty wasn’t sticking to the web! It was like she really was magic!
Magic Kitty bit the web, and Goldie’s arm fell free. The spider shook the web, but didn’t move towards them. Spiders are very cautious hunters.
Magic Kitty chewed the webs, and Goldie Locks started falling free, but she just kept falling back into the web and getting stuck again. The computer in the spider’s mind caught up to what was happening, and she charged, lest her prey escape.
Then Pink Doggy was there, licking Goldie Locks with slobbery kisses. His tongue was very slippery. Soon Goldie Locks was slippery, and just as the Giant Spider, bigger than a Ford Escape, bore down on them, they all three slid right out of the web.
The Giant’s floor was very untidy, which didn’t bother Goldie Locks one bit. Now she knew how a lady bug on her floor must feel!
Then she remembered the bear. Now she was especially happy about the mess. She also remembered her little lie. She said she wasn’t scared of bears. That was less and less true as she made her way through the giant old bones, dirty dishes and smelly socks in the giant’s hallway. She squeezed poor Pink Doggy more and more tightly.
The Giant had seen Mommy Cat around the attic, and that would have to be upstairs, wouldn’t it? Of course it would! So, she made her way, as quick and quiet as she could toward the giant stair case.
The stairs were far too big to climb. Each step was as tall as a very small house.
Luckily, the railing had an ornamental ledge by the floor, which ran straight to the top. Unluckily, this ledge was also out of reach.
There was a boot near by, but giant boots are as heavy as they are stinky. It wouldn’t budge.
Pink Doggy tried to help, but it didn’t even start to budge. It was impossibly heavy. Like trying to push a car. Then Magic Kitty started to push, and do you know what? To Goldie’s great surprise, Magic Kittie’s dainty nose against the boot made all the difference. The boot began to shift! Maybe Magic Kitty really did have magic!
With the boot in place, it was simply a matter of climbing up onto the ornamental ledge and following the ledge like a ramp to the top of the stairs.
It wasn’t simple at all. For one thing, the boot smelled like a garbage dump full of cheesy rotting garbage dumps. For another thing, climbing leather really isn’t simple at all. It’s difficult to grip, and the leather sometimes moved. It was a good thing she was such an expert climber!
The ramp was steeper than she would have liked, and it was covered in dust right up to her knees. Three times she slipped and rolled right to the bottom. The dust softened her landings, but just imagine how it tickled her face and dirtied her hair!
She was filthy, exhausted and sore, when she finally came to the landing at the top of the stairs. And found herself face to face with the giant nose of a very giant bear!
The bears eyes were closed. Its nose was black, wrinkled like a dog’s, and wet. It was so big that when the breath came blasting out, Goldie Locks’ curls were blown backwards, and dust went flying off behind her. She stood, frozen with fear, and tried to think of what to do.
Then the bear breathed in and Goldie’s golden locks were sucked towards the bear. And her nose was tickled terrible by the dust that billowed off her. Towards the bear. Oh no!
The big nose sucked the dust right in. It twitched and blew so hard that Goldie almost tumbled backwards. It made her sort of wet. She didn’t have much time to think. All she could do was scoop Pink Doggy up and pluck Magic Kitty by the tail as she began to run.
The bears eyes opened.
Goldie Locks didn’t know where to go.
The bear’s head came off the ground just as Goldie Locks saw the attic door. There was a ladder folded up right next to the door. It was in the middle of the ceiling! There was no way to reach it.
The bear was on his feet now, and the ground began to shake with every giant step. It was moving fast. Faster than she could ever run.
She could hear its big bear lips smack behind her. A gust of smelly breath tossed the dust from her hair. And she had the craziest idea she had ever had in the whole of her life, which meant that it was brilliant, because this is a chapter book, and that’s how things work in stories.
The idea was dust.
The big mouth opened behind her as she ran. The attic was out of reach.
The great maw of the bear pulled another gust of air, far greater than the last. She didn’t fight the wind. Hugging Pink Doggy and Magic Kitty as tight as she could, she turned and ran straight toward the bear. The wind from the sucking bear’s mouth made her steps enormous. She felt strong and fast. She had a plan and…
At the very last possible moment, with the bear so close that the slender tips of its very long whiskers tickled her knees, Goldie jumped.
This was no ordinary jump. It was a leap of the very highest order, and can you guess where she landed? If you guessed the bear’s nostril, you would be right. Goldie Locks came to a very sudden stop deep in the left nostril of the bear.
It was tight, and she tucked herself even tighter as the bear began to jerk and shake. It was very uncomfortable for the bear. You already know that putting small things in your nose is a very bad idea. The bear was finding out why.
Goldie Locks did everything she could. She squeezed Magic Kitty in the hope that she was really magic. She reminded Pink Doggy to not forget his birthday wish. And she hoped her little heart out. Then she put her little hand around a giant hair from deep inside the nostril of the bear, and she watched out through the nostril for the attic door.
Whatever it was that worked, it worked. The door came into view, and Goldie tugged the hair with all her strength. The bear sneezed and Goldie Locks shot through the air at high velocity. She was coated in thicky icky yicky bear snot, but she flew to the ladder by the attic door.
Come to think of it, that was a pretty lucky plan.
She landed against the ladder and clung and then climbed to the door in the ceiling. This was fine for Magic Kitty, but Pink Doggy was not good at climbing. He had to be watched very carefully.
The door was not latched, but it opened up and it was as big as seven gym floors. Maybe it was only three? It was big!
And yet, somehow, Magic Kitty managed to push it open all by himself. Almost like magic.
The attic was a whole new kind of scary, but it was also very cool. The floor was made of rough boards with spaces big enough to fall into, and splinters you don’t even want to think about!
And yet, the light was shining through those spaces. The rest of the attic was dark, and the slits of light through the dusty air was most impressive.
There were all kinds of giant sized weirdnesses in the attic, including a pile of dusty Christmas bobbles, huge books and magazines stacked haphazardly on a rickety shelf and bag upon bag of strangely coloured cloud.
Before she could wonder long what all the cloud was for, she saw Mommy Cat pawing at the top of a giant cardboard box.
The joy of mewling cried and screaming laughs and shaking hands and stamping feet was tearful and exhilarating. Magic Kitty leapt out of Goldie’s hair and scaling the box as though it was a level ground, and the pressed their faces over and over, circling with purrs and chirps of sheerest happiness. It was a profoundly touching scene, and Goldie was desperate to go join nt, but how was she going to get up there?
“Moths,” said a long, slow, deep, gurgling voice, and Goldie looked around. In the shadows near a large rusty pipe with huge flakes of paint flaking off, there was a toad.
At first she was afraid, the way you might be afraid to see an unexpected animal inside a house. It wasn’t a giant toad. It was large for a normal sized toad, and extremely fat. It had marvelous splotches of dark on its bright green skin, and Goldie decided right away that she loved the toad.
“Moths,” the toad said again, and didn’t move a bit. It was looking at a nearby shelf. On the shelf, there was a box. It was a much smaller box than the one Momma Cat and Magic Kitty were on. To the giant, it might have been maybe match box sized. To Goldie Locks, it was maybe school bus sized. It was hard to say exactly how big it was however, on account of all the moths.
“Moths,” the toad repeated.
The box was blotted out by moths. There were moths of every shape, size and color. Some were simple triangles, some were proper rhombuses, a few were complex polyhedrons! Most of them, Goldie couldn’t tell what shape they were. They were whirling blurs of flapping wing. Some were as small as Goldie Locks herself, some were bigger than a helicopter.
They came in every color of the rainbow, in all kinds of marvelous patterns, though none of the colors were very bright. There were dull greens and powdery blues, muted pinks and bleached out looking reds. The closest thing to a bright color amid the myriad of moths was the burnt orange on a particularly wise looking moth with wide feathery antennae who appeared to be watching them quite closely.
The Moths wanted whatever was inside the box, and Goldie had an idea.
She made her way through a gauntlet of flapping wing and crawly leg and buffeting wind toward the box. She had to be brave. This was a lot, even if she knew a moth would never hurt a person. Most moths don’t even eat. Her daddy told her.
Despite knowing all of this, it was scary being slapped by all those wings and giant grippy legs. They sometimes took her off her feet! She did her best to ignore the moths. Pink Doggy barked and growled like crazy, but eventually, she reached the box.
The moths this close to the box were so interested in the box that they left Goldie pretty much alone, and she was able to work more or less in peace.
Moths are hopeless at working. They are very good at laying eggs, and that’s about all. Goldie on the other hand, was an expert helper who had helped around the house with everything from making beds to jacking up the trailer.
She worked tenaciously for about seven minutes, and finally, made it through the bottom corner of the box.
What do you think she found in there? Did you you guess mothballs? If you guessed mothballs, then you’re absolutely right! What could moths possibly like better than a nice naphthaleneous mothball?!
They were small, the mothballs. They must have been like bright colored flour to the giant, or icing sugar maybe. To Goldie Locks, they were little balls the size of sticky bobs or grapes. Like sticky bobs, they had little tiny hooks that made them stick to Goldie’s clothes.
Were you wondering what color the mothballs were? I didn’t tell you because they came in all the colors. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, every single color!
The moths LOVED them. Goldie Locks started putting them on her clothes, especially her sweater, which was very sticky to the mothballs. The moths went all over her!
They were very ticklish moths, and Goldie Locks forgot her fear. She was finding the whole thing very exciting, especially when they picked her up and carried her into the air!
The moths didn’t seem to care which way they flew. They pulled her in every direction, and they ended up just sort of bobbing aimlessly through the air. This way and that way, floating and bobbing, and all the while, the floor was getting further and further away.
I know what you’re thinking, and it’s a very good thought. don’t worry though. The moths weren’t going to gobble up all the mothballs and leave Goldie to fall back to the scary floor. Most moths don’t eat, remember? They just really really liked the mothballs, so there was no fear of them suddenly being all gone and Goldie being dropped like a forgotten toy.
What happened, in fact, was very peculiar. Something very strange happened, in other words. Magic Kitty and Mommy Cat, who wanted more than anything in the whole wide world to be hugged by Goldie Locks, were watching Goldie drifting with the moths.
As they watched, Magic Kitty’s nose began to twitch. Suddenly, the moths seemed to have a purpose. They seemed to be working together. They seemed to be bringing Goldie Locks straight to the top of the big cardboard box where Mommy Cat and Magic Kitty were waiting!
They got her to the top of Momma Cat’s box, but didn’t leave her alone. Not at all. They kept picking her back up every time she tried to stand up. It was very frustrating, and Goldie started to get mad. She really wanted to reach Momma Kitty though, and she didn’t think the moths would care if she had a proper fit. Instead of screaming, kicking and spitting, she took a very deep breath, and tried to think.
It was hard to think. There were so many flappy, twitchy moths trying to get the mothballs on her sweater. This, as it turned out, gave Goldie Locks an idea.
She pulled one bright orange moth ball off her sweater and threw it away. Several moths skeetered after it. She pulled a big clump out of her hair and threw them. More moths disappeared after the brightly colored balls. Goldie didn’t’ know what the moths wanted with the bright colored balls, but she figured they could figure it out. They were called moth balls after all, so they must be very good for moths… right?
Soon there weren’t enough moths to lift her. Instead they simply pushed her around until she’d thrown the last of the moth balls into the shadows and the last of the moths finally left her alone.
Off in the distance, she thought she could hear the toad croak “moths” one more time.
Momma Cat was soooooo excited to see Goldie Locks, and Goldie Locks started to cry as she squeezed and patted and hugged and kissed her wonderful purring best cat friend. Pink Doggy covered Mommy Cat in slobbery kisses, and Magic Kitty ran circles around everybody’s feet.
Then Mommy Cat got serious. She seemed to have a job to do, and she wanted to get back to work. She was nosing and scratching and biting at the box, and Goldie Locks could almost hear a tiny mewling cry.
There was someone in the box!
It was a giant card board box with red letters and a picture of an egg on there. It was a Giant’s box, and Goldie Locks knew the card board must be thicker than a mattress! Momma cat would never get through it.
She had seen her mom and dad open lots of boxes, and she had an idea how it should be done. The box was closed with tape and inch thick, and Goldie Locks told Momma Cat to scratch the tape.
It wasn’t easy, but Momma Cat’s claw managed to puncture the tape. Having put a hole in the tape, Momma Cat immediately saw the advantage of working the tape.
Meanwhile, Goldie thought that Magic Kitty should be helping, but Magic Kitty was too busy batting at a giant finishing nail the size of a broom stick.
Goldie Locks got another idea. She was on a roll! She took the nail from Magic Kitty, and started heaving it at the tape.
As Goldie Locks and Momma Kitty worked, Magic Kitty hopped about and Pink Doggy barked encouragement, licking everybody’s toes.
Before too long the tape was broken, and everyone was pooped.
They didn’t want to stop however. The mewling from the box was getting quite insistent. It sounded like a kitten. In fact, it sounded like a very particular one of Mommy Kitty’s kittens, and Goldie Locks began to hope.
One of Mommy Kitty’s kittens had gone missing once, when Goldie Locks was very small. She and her mom had searched high and low, but Milky Kitty wasn’t anywhere.
Opening a cardboard box is easy when it isn’t taped, unless it is a giant cardboard box. The flaps of this box were wider than a busy city street however, and Goldie Locks didn’t know how they would get them opened.
Magic kitty was playing with the corner of the flap when several giant moths happened by. Pink Doggy started going crazy jumping around and barking, but the moths ignored him completely.
Landing on the edge of the flap, the moths waited as Magic Kitty climbed up onto one of them. Then they began to fly. The flap of the box was stuck in their grippy grippy grip, and it began to lift! Sometimes, Goldie really did think that Magic Kitty really was magic.
The box opened, and next to some cable ties on top of an old brown sheet of something, there was a tiny pale kitten. Do you know who it was? Can you guess? She was dancing around frantically and yowling with excitement.
Mommy Kitty darted across the old brown sheet, leapt over the giant cable ties and rubbed her nose all over Milky Kitty! Soon they were all hugging and kissing and making sounds of happiness through the blur of tears and an overwhelming joy.
Then the blur of tears got blurrier. The dim light of the attic got dimmer and dimmer, and Goldie Locks began to realize what a long adventure they had had.
She yawned, and felt her eyelids droop. She blinked and yawned again.
She went to sleep right there on top of the giant cardboard box, surrounded by her friends, with Milky Kitty snuggled in her hand.
She woke confused. She was home, in her room, in front of her bookshelf, sprawled across the books she’d taken off the shelf when she was mad.
She started to realize it must have been a dream. She got sent to her room and fell asleep while she was in there. Her door was opening. Her Dad was coming in to talk to her.
“GO!” she shouted. She didn’t want to talk yet. She was so so sad. She felt sorry for misbehaving and losing her temper, but she was really quite very sad about Milky Kitty.
Her dream had been so real. She thought she’d found her long lost kitten, but it had been a dream and dreams weren’t real. Where they?
“Okay, but,” her Dad hesitated before he left. “What’s that?” he asked. There was something in her hand. Something soft and pale. Something from a dream.
It was Milky Kitty! In her hand. In real life! She squealed and kissed Milky Kitty and her Daddy hugged them both.
“Mom!” her Daddy yelled, “Goldie Locks found Milky Kitty!”
Then everyone was gathered around, marvelling at Milky Kitty’s unexpected return and trying to figure out where she’d come from.
Goldie tried to tell them the whole story, but they didn’t understand. That was alright. Milky Kitty was safe, that was the most important thing, and now Goldie Locks knew that sometimes, dreams became true.