I like the idea behind your story, and I’ve followed in the hope of seeing more in the future! I’d like to offer some constructive criticism. I had a professional editor sift through my novel and correct errors and recommend changes--as a young writer I still have a long way to go. My editor deleted fill words that don’t add anything to a sentence. For example: "She could hear the chaos around her" becomes "She heard chaos around her," or "Chaos surrounded her."

"She felt the room was closing in on her" becomes "She felt the room closing in on her," or "The room closed in on her." Also, "collapsed" is a more exciting verb than "closed." Of course, you may have chosen your words for a specific reason, in which case you should stick with them.

If you wouldn’t mind, I’d appreciate it if you could view my novel draft and leave any similar feedback and follow if interested.

https://www.inkshares.com/books/kzar-i-jupiters

Thank you!