Discussion

Jorge Ortiz · Author · added about 9 years ago
The first chapter is intriguing. The message of what you are trying to provide for the reader is great, how one can get so lost or addicted to something that it becomes real to them. A recommendation, if you haven’t done so yet would be to focus a little more on developing the main character. I don’t know if the character is developed fully further in the story. I would have to read more. I’m interested to see what happens in chapter two.