Chapter Two

“Are you gonna come over tonight? You never did tell me what happened with you and Derek.”

“Are you gonna tell me what the fuck that was with Ken doll?”

“I did tell you, it was nothing. Just… old habits. I had to check on him.”

“And the fact that you had already been thinking of him earlier that night…?”

“Means shit. Are you gonna come over or what?”

“What time is it?”

I turn my head and look at my bedside clock, the neon numbers illuminating my room just enough to see an outline of everything. To my left is a window that shows my second story patio, and beyond that the sky is black, with little white lights sprinkled in the sky. Some nights when it’s not too windy I take my blankets out and sleep on the lounge chairs under the stars. Thanks to my grandparents, who bought mom the house as a wedding present, we have a lot of space along with a really nice house. We have grass surrounding us on all sides, trees in the front yard and in the back that provide shade in the intense summers. Towards the back of my room there’s my walk in closet, and if you walk through that in the back there’s a door that leads to my own bathroom. To the right is my favorite room in the house.

I call it my sunroom, although since it faces the side-yard the only time it gets sun is when it’s setting. A few weeks ago the guys put colored glass on the top half of one of the walls making a sort of mosaic looking half wall. There are blocks of red, blue, milky white and green and when the sunlight filters through it fills the room with gorgeous light. Sometimes we’ll all just sit in here and talk for hours, till the light is long gone and we’re sitting in the glow produced from the various lamps I have around my room. It’s my sanctuary, a place even my mother won’t enter. The few times she has come home to check in - strung tighter than a wire – and see how everything is. I know she’s only coming home out of guilt. But still, she always brings cash till the next time I see her, usually a hundred dollars or so. Once she gave me five hundred and didn’t bat an eye. Money is no problem for her anymore when she can sell drugs faster than any dealer you’ll ever meet. Working in a high position in the city gets you lots of regulars who are willing to pay high prices for their fix. She’s only came into my room once, and it was on one of her benders. She hadn’t taken anything for a week- her supplier was running late- and it her frenzy she tore my room up looking for her drugs, convinced I was hiding them from her. She tore my floorboards up, flipped my mattress over, and flipped over all my drawers. The only room she stayed away from was my sun room. She went to the door, and stopped. I was chasing after her, yelling I didn’t have anything and for her to get out, when I saw she was just standing there. Staring at the room. I had records on the walls, my pool table in the middle and the bean bags my friends and I used strewn about the room from the previous night. Only a few squares of color were on the window at that time, but it was enough to give the room a warm red glow. She stood there and I watched her eyes spin, like they were dancing on the walls following something I couldn’t see. Then she just backed away, never taking her eyes off the wall till she was gone. That was one of her crazier trips, and I’m sure she was seeing some freaky shit. Either way she never went in my sun room ever again.

“It’s barely two in the morning.” I flop back over and stare at the shadows on my ceiling. My phone is on speaker, lying on my chest. Myra’s voice fills my room and I feel a rare pang of loneliness in my chest.

She pauses and I hear a shuffling noise, like something is over her phone.

“My?”

“…No daddy, not tonight….”

My heart stops. No. No, no, no, no.

“He’s not home. He’s staying at a friend’s house. Go to sleep. I’ll… be there in a minute.”

I don’t dare say anything; I don’t want him to know I’m on the phone. If he knew we were privy to what he does to her… It makes me tremble thinking about what he could do to Myra and Kevin.

“Val?” Her voice is small and barely audible.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m going to go wake up Kevin. We’ll be over in ten minutes okay?” Already I hear a zipper moving, the practiced moves on a quick getaway. A door creaks and it’s dead silent again. No zipper, no bags being filled with items. Just silence.

“Myra, are you…”

“Shh…”

I hold my breath, quietly counting the 13 seconds it takes her to get past her dad’s room and to Kevin’s. Please, whatever god is there, don’t let him hear her.

Quiet breathing fills the phone, and I know she’s trying hard not to gasp for air. Very rarely will anyone ever see Myra upset, and to my knowledge no one but Derek and I have seen one of her panic attacks.

“Kevin. Kev, wake up. We need to go. Dad’s home.” Myra whispers.

“Yeah okay.” Kevin mutters, half asleep but moving quickly. They both keep bags under their beds in case they need to leave like this and I hear Kevin grab his.

“Got your keys?” He mutters.

“Yeah, I got them.” Then to me, “Val we’ll be there soon. Stay on the line okay? Just in-”

A loud crash sounds over the phone and I bold upright in my bed, clutching the phone to my ear. Oh god no please don’t let that be him please god.

“Kevin, run.” Myra’s voice is deadly. “Take the spare key. I’ll catch up.”

“No. I’m staying with you.” Kevin is almost as tall as Shep and has a slight build to him. With anyone else he would be able to protect himself and Myra. But not against his 300 pound firefighter father who was now barreling down the hall towards them.

“The hell you are. Go!” Myra whispers at him. I hear him grunt. There’s a sliding noise and a latch flipping before a door gets slammed open.

“Myra, what are you doing in here? I thought you were coming to bed.” Goosebumps cover my skin and I feel light headed like I may throw up. I know what’s going to happen and I’ll be damned if I just sit here. Still holding the phone to my ear I swing my legs out of bed, pulling on jeans and a sweatshirt as fast as I can. I’m looking for the house phone when Myra speaks again.

“I was daddy. I was just looking for something…” Her voice is subdued, like she already gives up. I feel a tear slide down my cheek and I quickly scrub it away with the back of my hand. Just fight this time, one more time, I know you’re tired but I’m coming. Please Myra, just fight a little longer.

My hand finally finds the land line and I hit speed dial 3. Each ring seems to take longer than the next and by the time he answers my heart feels like it’s about to explode out of my chest.

“Hello?” He sounds alert even though it’s two in the morning.

“Derek! It’s Myra.”

“I’ll meet you there. Leave now.”

*

My tires skid to a stop on the gravel as I pull into Myra’s driveway. She lives on the outskirts of town; I live closer to her than anyone else. Derek is 5 minutes further and Bobbie and Shep live on the other side of town a good twenty minutes away. I couldn’t turn my phone off, fearing what I would miss if I did but I couldn’t bear to listen to the sounds of Myra screaming and fighting. I had taken it off of speaker when I left but she was loud enough that in the silence of my car it was all around me. Each cry was a hole punched in my heart, and I wasn’t bothering wiping the tears away now.

Her house is dark, no lights on in any of the windows. It’s a small house, only three bedrooms, one bathroom, a small living room and the kitchen. Almost everything has been broken once or twice in the years that have passed. The rest of their land is fields, with great willow trees surrounding the small house so it looks as if even it doesn’t want to be seen.

I see Myra’s car parked under one of the trees and yank the keys out of the ignition, throwing my door open without bothering to close it. I leave the phone on my seat; it’s so quiet out here I can hear her screams like the phone is pressed to my brain. They ring out of the house and it’s like the most terrible surround sound ever. I know she sent Kevin outside, and he can’t drive. So he must be in her car. First I’ll check on him like Myra does then I’ll go get her. She’d kill me if I didn’t protect him when she couldn’t, even though in reality he’d be the one better capable of protecting us.

“Kevin!” I jog over to the car, listening for the sound of the engine but all I get is silence. I get to the passenger window and peer in, but it’s too dark to see through the tinted windows. I lightly knock my knuckles on the window, hoping he’s in there.

“Kevin, it’s me! It’s Valerie! Are you okay?”

The back door springs open and he pops out, almost rolling. I fiercely embrace him, relived he’s okay. He’s crying, gripping me tightly and trembling.

“Kevin, are you okay? I repeat. I pull back and hold onto his shoulders, looking up at his face. He looks so young now, even though he’s only two years younger than me. He looks like a child, lost and scared with no one in the world. I understand how he feels.

“I’m alright.” He says, taking a deep breath. “Did you get Myra?”

“Not yet, but Derek is on his way.” As I tell him this Derek’s lights blaze up and shine on us. Kevin holds an arm up to shield his face and I lift my hand to block a little light. Just as quickly they turn off and we hear a door slam.

“Where is she? In your car?” He’s holding a metal bat in his hands and instinctively I push Kevin behind me. The fury radiating off of Derek is so strong it’s like a second skin, writhing and pulsing over him.

“No, she’s still…” I pause, listening for her. It’s silent.

“She’s still inside.” I whisper horrified. How long had she been quiet? When did she stop screaming? Was she okay?

Derek takes off running and barely pausing he kicks in the door. I go to follow him but realize Kevin is still shaking next to me.

“Kevin, I need you to go sit in my car. Right now. Stay there, lock the doors, I have blankets in the backseat. Go!” I give him a little push and he stumbles forward a little before moving more swiftly to the car. I take a deep breath and head towards the house.

There’s glass everywhere. That’s the first thing I notice walking in, hearing the crunch of all the shattered pieces under the soles of my shoes. It’s dark, only the moonlight giving off any brightness. I can barely see but as my eyes adjust I see the dark spots on the floor. It looks like chocolate syrup in the darkness, but the coppery scent in the air tells me it could only be blood. There are spots of it all over the room, splattered on the floor and over glass shards. The coffee table is broken, split down the middle with splinters of wood everywhere. The small lamp that sat on the coffee table is on the floor, the bulb shattered, explaining the glass. The base of it has blood coating it, almost as if someone used it as a makeshift weapon… I shudder and slowly move down the hall, passing her father’s open door. His room is spotless, everything in order with his boots at the end of his bed. I move on, approaching Kevin’s room. I can hear a quiet voice, murmuring, but I don’t know whose it is.

“My…?” I quietly whisper. I approach the threshold and instantly stop, a body blocking the doorway lying on the floor.

“Shit!” I gasp, jumping back a little bit. There’s a small puddle of blood around his head, a huge lump on the back of it although that’s not where the blood is coming from. I side step around him as carefully as I can but he doesn’t stir a muscle. He must be out cold, or dead. Please god let that bastard be dead.

“Shh, shh, shh, baby it’s okay, we’re here, it’s okay.”

I look over and see Myra crouched in the corner, her knees pulled up to her chest. Derek is a few inches in front of her, reaching his hand out to her, but she’s curled away and resisting his touch.

“Myra?” I carefully walk over to her, careful not to step in the blood. Eesh. I’m not the squirmy type but this situation is enough to make anyone’s nerves noodles.

“Myra, are you okay? Are you hurt?” I look at Derek. “Is she okay?”

He doesn’t respond, he doesn’t even look at me. He drops his hand and I notice the bat next to him, a smudge of blood on it. But then realize that’s not his bat, because his bat is sitting on the bed. Then I take a real look at Myra.

Holy… her eye is swollen almost completely shut. What little of it we can see is blood filled from the vessels popping, and it looks like she’s crying blood. She has a gash in her forehead, like something smashed into it. It will definitely need stitches and I see that’s where the blood on her face is mostly from. Her nails are cracked and broken, one of them bleeding. It looks like there’s something under it… I look around the room, and see the long scratch lines in front of the bed. I gag, and swallow the bile that’s threatening to make an appearance. I look back at Myra and she’s still staring at her father’s body, slowly rocking back and forth a little. Her tank top is ripped, one of the straps torn off and it’s barely hanging on. Underneath you can already see the bruises forming in large splotches and angry looking welts. Her shorts are gone; she’s crouched in her underwear. They look like they haven’t been removed and I send a thanks to whatever god may be responsible for that. There are scratches covering her chest and a bite mark on her arm that makes me think of a wild dog that needs to be put down, but her face is the worst of it.

“I… Is he…?” She can barely get a few words out before stopping for air between her tearless sobs.

“I don’t think so honey. Derek will you…?” I pointedly look at the body and hope he understands. He dips his head and gets up, slowly walking over. I inch a little closer to Myra, and when she doesn’t move I sit next to her. She instantly falls into my side, and I wrap my arms around her holding her tightly. I never felt so maternal in my life, and everything in me is screaming to get Myra out of this room, out of this house, and away from that son of a bitch. Her sobs are quieter, like she’s trying to pull it together already. Always quick to regain control. Although no one could blame her for falling apart right now, especially when you think you just killed a man.

“Derek? Is he?” Her voice is unrecognizable, contorted in a mixture of hate and hope. Hope that he’s dead, hope that she didn’t kill anyone. She straightens her spine a little and tries to pull away. I pull her closer, no way in hell I’m letting her go while he’s in the room still.

Derek’s fingers go to his neck, checking for a pulse. After a long minute he looks at us and nods somberly.

“He’s still alive.” His face is a mask.

“Oh god!” She breathes, letting it out like one gust of air. She collapses against me and starts to sob again. I can only imagine the pain she’s in. Relived she hasn’t killed a man, tortured he’s alive. I just hold her close.

“What did you see?” I ask Derek quietly. He moves over to us, and just shakes his head. Then reaches a hand out to us.

“My, Kevin is in Val’s car. He’s waiting for you. He’s scared. We need to get you to the hospital. Can you walk with us? Do you want me to carry you?” His voice is low and gentle; something I’ve never heard before. Never have I heard such… love in his voice. I was expecting anger, fear, or even disgust. But love? That wasn’t like Derek, when he first found out he was murderous. Where was that now? I’m still half expecting him to change his mind and attack the man’s body while he can’t fight back when he reaches for Myra again.

She slightly cringes, her nails digging into my arms a little. I can feel the vibrations rolling off her body, and for a minute I want to smack Derek away from her.

“Myra, we have to go. Before he wakes up.”

As if to emphasize the point of the immediate danger she’s in her father stirs a little, grunting and then going silent again. That seems to shake her out of it and she shoots up pulling me with her. She’s no longer shaking and seems to be gaining her calm again.

“Okay. Okay… Just… let me do something.” She lets go of me and slowly walks over to her father.

“Myra…?” Derek obviously doesn’t like her being so close to him and tails her.

“Just give me a few seconds.” She snaps at him. There’s something in her voice, something strong and angry. She looks at us and lifts her chin for a moment as if she’s bracing for something.

She gazes back down on his body. At the blood and the lump on his head.

“I did that. The cut on his face, and the spot on his fat head.” She almost sounds proud.

“When he came at me… I jumped back. And I bumped into Kevin’s bed and fell flat on my back. It only made it easier for the bastard. But I sure as hell wasn’t going down without a fight. I just kept telling myself: She’s coming. She’s coming to help you. Valerie will be here any minute.” She looks at me and smiles, a sad broken smile and I feel the tears streaming down my face again. She herself hasn’t shed a single tear. She looks at Derek with the same look, and then back down at the monster.

“I knew Kevin was safe, I knew Valerie was coming for me. And she brought you, Derek. I knew I was going to be okay, as long as I held him off…” She trails off, lost in the events that just happened that we couldn’t stop. Damn him, damn that bastard. If he burns for the rest of eternity it won’t be long enough.

“He climbed on top of me. Using his body he pinned me down so I couldn’t fight him off. I could hardly breathe, he was just so heavy.” Her voice cracks and I want to say something, anything to help, but no words come to me.  She puts a hand to her chest and inhales deeply. Her other hand is shaking.

“My, you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to say anything.” I try to tell her. She shakes her head violently and looks me dead in the eye.

“I have to do this. Or else I never will. I won’t be a victim, I won’t hide what’s he’s done or what’s happened to me. I fought. I fought!” She smiles triumphantly at us.

“He ripped my shirt, trying to pull it off. I pushed my arm in his face, trying to get his eyes, and managed to scratch him a little, but he bit me. Like a dog! He actually bit me! So I brought my knee up as hard as I could when he pulled my shorts off and managed to get him off of me. I ran to the living room, trying to get to the front door… I was so close. But I slipped on the hardwood. And by the time I got up and reached the door he was on top of me again.” She’s shaking her head. “He threw me back, and I landed on the coffee table. It’s old, and I’ve been thrown on it before so this time it just… broke. I couldn’t breathe. But you were coming for me; I just had to fight a little longer. I remember screaming, I didn’t stop screaming…”

Derek sniffs, and I look at him. His fists are tight, his fingers completely white and his whole body is tight with tension. I think I see a tear fall from his face.

“He tried grabbing me again, and there was the lamp next to me on the floor. I grabbed it and swung as hard as I could. It got him right in his god damned cheek bone, and I swear I heard a crack. I got up and ran again, this time for Kevin’s window. I was about to jump over the bed when he caught me by the ankle and pulled. I hit my head, see? There.” She points to the floor in front of the bed and again I feel sick from the scratch marks. I also notice the blotch of blood, where her head connected.

“He punched me. God dammit, he punched me. I couldn’t see, my head swam. But I could feel his lips on my skin! I could feel his tongue on my neck, his teeth on my ear. And I just thought- no! I will not stop fighting! I’m so close! So I reached back for something, anything, and I grabbed Kevin’s baseball bat from under the bed. I hit him in his head, and out he went. Like a light.” Myra is shaking again, and she looks close to breaking down. Derek steps forward and pulls her to him. She gasps at the sudden movement but once in his arms she finally cries. She cries and cries till she can barely breathe and Derek picks her up so we can go to the car. Kevin is waiting in the backseat and when Derek puts her down they fiercely embrace, Kevin asking how she is and Myra telling him she’s fine.

“I’ll meet you guys at the hospital okay?”

“No!” Myra cries from the backseat.

“No what?” Derek asks from my window. He’s leaning in slightly trying to see Myra.

“No hospital. I’ll be fine.”

“Myra you need to get checked out!” I turn my head so I can look at her but her expression stops me dead in my tracks. I know she’s trying to protect her brother. If they take her father away there’s no chance that they would let her minor brother live with her. No way they would think her capable of it.

“Okay. No hospital. But you guys are staying with me from now on.”

“Deal.”

I smile at her and through the blood on her face and weight on her shoulders she manages to smile back at me. At least now I know she’ll be safe. But how long until her dad comes looking…?

*

“So you really don’t mind us staying here?”

“I swear if you ask me that one more time I’m going to spill my coke on you.”

Myra and I are sitting in the sun room waiting for the sun to rise.  It won’t fill the entire room with bright light but it creates a really nice glow. Kevin is asleep on my bed, sprawled in a heap with his legs dangling off the edge. He has almost a foot on me and the bed is just a few inches too short. His light snores drift over to us and Myra leans back and pulls the blanket up higher.

“He’s restless. I don’t think he’s going to be able to sleep peacefully for awhile.”

“You guys will be safe here. Mom never comes home anymore, and when she does it’s during school or something so she doesn’t have to deal with me.”

“And my dad doesn’t know where you live,” she chokes a little on the word ‘dad’ like it tastes bitter coming out of her mouth.

“We can clean out the guest rooms today, unless you wanna stay in here with me. But I’m sure Kevin is gonna want his own bed.”

Myra looks sideways at me and smiles. She snakes a hand out of the cover of the blanket and grabs her coke, leaning back as she takes a long drink, emptying the bottle. I take it and put it in the small recycling bin next to me. It lightly clinks as I set it down and the sound is almost comforting.

“Yeah… It’s not like we’re going to church in the morning or anything you know?” She gives a small chuckle at her own joke and exhales loudly, leaning back in the bean bag.

We both hear a light creak, like my door being opened and our heads snap to the sunrooms doorway.

“Girls?” a small voice whispers questioningly. It’s Shep’s voice, barely audible but definitely his voice. Myra and I let out a breath and she drops her head back like one more thing will make her drop dead.

“It’s all of us,” another voice calls, more feminine and I recognize it as Bobbie’s.

“Do you want to see anyone?” I look over and ask Myra quietly so no one can hear.

She looks at me for a minute, looking like she doesn’t understand the words that came out of my mouth.

“I can always see those guys, is that even a question?” She lifts up one side of her mouth in a smirk. Sometimes I forget how long they’ve all known each other, and unlike how my family used to work when someone is hurt or sick that makes no difference if friends come over. It actually tends to be the time they all are over more often, my home being the headquarters. Since Kevin’s asleep we both get up and grab our blankets so we can all go to the den. It’s one of the biggest rooms in the house other than the living room and can easily fit all of us sprawled on the carpet.

We see everyone standing at the door and I put a finger to my lip telling them to be quiet, and then motion to the door. We all walk out quietly and as soon as my door closes there are hushed whispers asking if Myra is okay, how she feels, if she needs anything. She answers all their questions and while taking a quick peek back I see Derek’s arm around her shoulders and her leaning into him.

We all plop down on the carpet, the couches completely forgotten although I’m sure in the morning Derek and Myra will be sleeping on one of them. Shep pulls all the blankets out from the closet and tosses them at us, then the same with the pillows. Already we’re forming a little circle of safety under the glow of the moonlight. Here we’re safe where no one will judge you and nothing can’t be said. Here my twisted life story pales and I don’t feel so out of place with the people that love and accept me.

We’re all quiet, just lying in a circle looking at each other. No one really wants to say anything, or they at least don’t know how to without thinking they might hurt Myra.

“Guys it’s okay.” She looks at us all one at a time and her face is warm despite the swollen eye and gash on her head. She managed to do some haphazard stitches herself with some dental floss and a sewing needle and it made me realize it probably wasn’t the first time.

“It’s not though,” Bobbie says. Shep nods in agreement looking at Myra. “What now Myra? You can’t just go home and act like this never happened because shit happened. And how are you going to explain your face? Sorry girl but it is seriously fucked up.” She says it not unkindly and pats Myra’s knee.

“I’ll just say that cheerleader got in a good punch. And on the way out of the party I fell from the aftershock and got this,” she points to the gash on her head “it’s an easy fix. Well… not easy but it will be fine.”

“What about your dad?” Shep asks.

“Honestly? He won’t remember this in the morning. The bump on his head won’t even cross his mind and he’ll blame the mess on Kevin and his friends.” She shakes her head and leans into Derek again. He wraps his arms around her, and gives her a light kiss on the forehead. She slightly winces but doesn’t say anything.

“That’s bullshit… I mean honestly. How long has this been going on now? Nine years? You and Kevin need to get out.” Bobbie’s voice is filled with disgust directed at Myra’s dad.

“They are out of there,” I say, “her and Kevin are staying here now. We’re all cleaning the house in the morning.” I glance out the window and see the sun is going to rise soon. “Okay, maybe in the afternoon because I’m sure no one has slept tonight right?” I look at everyone’s blood shot tired eyes and see I’m right. Oh God I can only imagine what my face looks like. Much better than Myra’s. I shiver and look at everyone again.

“In the morning things will be better. We’ll have a big breakfast-”

“A family breakfast,” Myra whispers.

I smile and put an arm around her waist, hugging her lightly and then giving her back to Derek.

“Our family. We’re family. And we’ll all eat, relax, and then get the house ready for Myra and Kevin. Mom left the guest rooms pretty messed up on her last bender but no doubt we can all get them together. She’ll stay here. Safe. We’re all safe.”

The solemn faces of my family look back at me and even though the words ring true we all will still sleep together, huddled and close with Myra in the middle. Surrounded by my family I see they all have someone, Myra with Derek and Bobbie with Shep even if he doesn’t know it yet. Laying there in the dark, waiting for sunrise, all I can think is how I have no one next to me.